Is marriage a kind of punishment?

[copypastekingdom]

Let me tell you my opinion on marriage. Whatever you do, you will make mistake, so if you decide not to get married you will make mistake and if you decide to get married you will also make even bigger mistake. The only difference is that you can get kids out of marriage, and that is the only thing worth living for.

To sum up, yeah it can be a punishment if you look at it that way, but is it worth it, sure it is. Much better than being alone.

[maksimukr1989]

Unfortunately, this trend does exist.This is not a good trend.Family is comfort, mutual understanding and love.In addition, many women can also earn more than men.I think women let men insult them.I know a married couple where the husband beats his wife all the time, but she still loves him very much.How to explain the behavior of this woman, if she herself allows to do so.

[guybrushthreepwood]

Wow. I can tell there is quite a bit of repressed anger and about 3 dozen other complexes going on here. You seem to know so much about me personally, but we hardly know each other.

The repressed anger here is probably coming from you and I can certainly think of a few reasons why. You already said everything I needed to know, but care to name the three dozen complexes I have since you're an expert psychologist?

If you can let the rest of that steam flying out of your ears dissipate, you might hear that my entire point was that people (such as yourself), teach women it is some how wrong, demeaning, degrading, or unacceptable to live in a traditional lifestyle, and this needs to stop.

Again, more strawmen that you're just making up to suit your argument. Maybe you should actually read what I wrote because your entire "point" is moot and irrelevant because I've never told or taught a women it's wrong to live a 'traditional' lifestyle and I wouldn't tell them what I think they should or shouldn't be doing like you. I'm perfectly fine with men or women playing a 'traditional' role if that's what they're happy with and consent to, but I'm not happy with people expecting either men or women to fit into certain molds that cannot be changed because it can be incredibly damaging and stifling. I even explicitly stated so in my first response to you that you conveniently ignored:

I agree with that this used to be the case, but luckily attitudes have changed very fast over the past few decades and now men and women are mostly equal on this front (at least in my country), though obviously some women do choose to stay at home and be 'housewives' and look after the children and so on. I have no issue with that as long as it's their choice and there's no expectation on them. I have no issue with a man staying at home and doing this role instead either.

But you flew off the handle assuming everything about me and just making things up that I never said. Are you seriously angry because you genuinely think it's people like me that are to blame for ruining your chances of having your own doting Stepford sexdoll till death do you part? That's crazy. I have played no part in that, but I'm happy that domestic servitude isn't their only option these days. I think women just grew some balls and realized there's more to life than them just being a mother and a maid as a career, but if that's what they want to do then cool. I'm sure you'd still find something to complain about if that's all your wife actually did.

Your massive screed here is the perfect example, so thank you for that demonstration.

You've clearly made a very convincing argument here /sarcasm, but I've come to expect this sort of deflection on here when an intelligent argument cannot be made. Whenever someone complains about something being a 'screed' or 'missive' that's just a convenient way of getting out of having to actually make an argument.

[Hivalley]

It simply depends on the angled it's viewed from,marriage can be both a blessing and a sort of punishment,getting married to the right person who will always be there for you in both good and bad times is the best feeling ever.
  Most times marriage can be a punishment if your lover turns out to be a thorn in your flesh,or if you find it difficult to control your sexual urge,you may find yourself regretting the fact why you got married,since you still have the desire to explore  
  So before getting married you have to be ready for it's various commitments and be sure you're really in love with your partner,as marriage is not always a roller coaster ride,there are numerous bumbs on the way.

[Crypto_topic]

It is a partnership of two people who want to commit to one another. Marriage is love, work and compromise. It is mutual-respect. happiness and sometimes frustration, but people in marriage are tend and willing to find solution.

[jayawchaminda]

absolutely not it's not punishment its honest, kind and understanding life.who is a marriage both need good understanding honest and kind. they had kids its come same like kingdom,
who marriage not understanding, honest, kind each other its come punishment.

[lolxxxx]

I am working on an article on relationships and marriages. In my part of the world marriage feels like punishment on the female gender. In the days of old as I learnt, it was the responsibility of the man to provide and protect the family but in today’s society, men relax and have the women do almost everything. I observed this most in Nigeria or African. women grow old faster once married. I take instances from my neighbours, family and the society. The man on any day wakes up, take his bath, dress up, eat and off to work if he has one. The woman is the cook, launder, housekeeper, nanny, hand lady, errand girl, cleaner, and she must be working etc. just name it and she must not complain, she must not be tired. For real this is happening don’t think am just assuming. I see it live. Why is it so? I once asked a man in this case, why he maltreats his wife like a slave and he said no reasonable man is allowed to do house chores or assist in anything. The work of the man is to bring money that’s all. Can this be true?  Will you like your sisters, daughters, neighbours, friend  be treated badly in the name of marriage? Let’s talk. No abuses or insult please. I need soul lifting contribution.

For all of the above, I will just say a few words.
In Marriage both have to know each other very closely, They must have some patience by which they can get close to each other, They should live with love, They should listen to one and each other and do not take quick decisions/steps, The most important of all they should know how to trust each other.
I believe that marraige is the most fine/purified relation you can have the most loving one. Once you are greatly bounded with each other you can live your life easily whether you are financily healthy or not or whatever the reason is.

[Jeremiah0]

In my opinion, the idea of marriage has become a problem in the society because it isn't as voluntary as it should be. Many people are being forced into marriage either by the spouse, the society, parents, for public figure, and a lot of biased reasons. This has disallowed proper consideration of the pros and cons of a marriage relationship which in essence leads to disasters. Marriage should not be forced and everyone should understand it's not as important as it is portrayed. Less people should be married.  Our society needs to becomes less concerned about people's marital status for weighing responsibility and opportunities.

[joebrook]

absolutely not it's not punishment its honest, kind and understanding life.who is a marriage both need good understanding honest and kind. they had kids its come same like kingdom,
who marriage not understanding, honest, kind each other its come punishment.

If you are married and you absolutely believe that marriage is a sort of punishment then I think that you are married to the wrong woman and man. Though there are problems in any relationship I don't think that it should be a sort of punishment.

[Dig Bicks]

Marriage is just a tool for women to steal wealth from Men.  It can also go the other way, For Example: Britney Spears owes Kevin Federline a lot of money.

[CryptoSifus]

It depends on what region and culture you are from I think.
In the west marriage is more of a business contract than anything.
It has been institutionalized and lost its meaning.
In your example it sounds like religious dogma is the root cause of the poor attitude towards the relationship.
In both cases the root cause is Money and the institution of religion or government which are really the same thing.
It's about the power and control of the few over the many. Invoke the word of god and you somehow have the right to rule free people...
I've never bought into the bullshit. As far as I'm concerned we are all from the same source no matter what your belief system is based on.
Divide and conquer has always been the way of darkness in the world and the few who manipulate the masses will be held to account for their crimes.
As far as money goes, in the current system money is the root of evil. We need to overthrow the shackles of government and religious slavery and start living our lives in a higher plane of consciousness.
The male/female union is as the balance of nature. Each has a role to play to bring harmony to the union.
If you allow the institution of government or religion to guide your views of marriage then you are destroying the harmony and probably don't even know it.
Time to look in the mirror and take responsibility for your choices.

[limtjoehua]

everyone wants marriage, only stupid and abnormal people who don't want it, but not everyone who gets a marriage, even until his death the marriage doesn't come. so marriage is the most beautiful gift that God has given us.

this reminds me that when I was single. I am a hypocrite, a bad man, a drug addict and a rebellion to parents, everything I do is useless.

but after my marriage a lot of things changed, especially when I had to meet household needs and also during my wife's pregnancy. all of that makes me have to be a better person and I don't want my child to be a bad person like his father before.

now I live happily and become a much better person before I get married, this is the most beautiful gift from God and if not for marriage maybe my life would not be as beautiful and happy as this.

[dippididodaday]

It depends on what region and culture you are from I think.
In the west marriage is more of a business contract than anything.
It has been institutionalized and lost its meaning.
In your example it sounds like religious dogma is the root cause of the poor attitude towards the relationship.
In both cases the root cause is Money and the institution of religion or government which are really the same thing.
It's about the power and control of the few over the many. Invoke the word of god and you somehow have the right to rule free people...
I've never bought into the bullshit. As far as I'm concerned we are all from the same source no matter what your belief system is based on.
Divide and conquer has always been the way of darkness in the world and the few who manipulate the masses will be held to account for their crimes.
As far as money goes, in the current system money is the root of evil. We need to overthrow the shackles of government and religious slavery and start living our lives in a higher plane of consciousness.
The male/female union is as the balance of nature. Each has a role to play to bring harmony to the union.
If you allow the institution of government or religion to guide your views of marriage then you are destroying the harmony and probably don't even know it.
Time to look in the mirror and take responsibility for your choices.

Good points to have an accord on!

The fine balance that constitutes the marital status of union / one, is reflected in the fundamental fabric that undergirds and sustains civilizations throughout the ages: the nuclear family.

Mess with marriage, and by implication the nuclear family, for long enough, and you will witness the demise of the species as a whole! In fact, it is inevitable and plain math.

The replacement fertility rate is 2.1 children per female roughly speaking. In more than half of nations worldwide, (and growing in number), there is an alarming rate of decline in births, to the degree that with projected ongoing statistical calculations,  human species will short before long, meet its final demise as it sinks into oblivion of extinction.

The unjust past of unfair practices of despotic rule in all manner of responsible positions, from familial to governmental, have at long last been challenged by our liberator - Science!  

It takes two to tango - the offspring of a couple is not the sole contribution of the male, but a partnership of fusion of an egg cell and a sperm cell. This relationship is not 100-0, 90-10, 80-20, 70-30, 60-40, but in fact 50-50.

Along comes birth control and emancipation of woman to take control of birth, the outcome of which is the bedrock of a successful continuation of a civilization.  The relationship in a partnership (marriage) is 50-50, as is evidenced by its biological antecedents, a strong case is to be made and now we see the repercussions of its success: falling birthrates in major countries worldwide and an increase in number of countries worldwide,  rates diving far below sustainable @2.1 roughly: a Humanity in decline, on its way to extinction:

A few examples will suffice - United States 1.886 children per woman
                                       - Russia         1.751 children per woman
                                       - Germany         1.47 children per woman
                                       - China         1.635 children per woman     (Source: worldpopulationreview . com/countries/total-fertility-rate/)

 
Something's gotta give.
A new balance to be found and respected.

[condura150]

I am working on an article on relationships and marriages. In my part of the world marriage feels like punishment on the female gender. In the days of old as I learnt, it was the responsibility of the man to provide and protect the family but in today’s society, men relax and have the women do almost everything. I observed this most in Nigeria or African. women grow old faster once married. I take instances from my neighbours, family and the society. The man on any day wakes up, take his bath, dress up, eat and off to work if he has one. The woman is the cook, launder, housekeeper, nanny, hand lady, errand girl, cleaner, and she must be working etc. just name it and she must not complain, she must not be tired. For real this is happening don’t think am just assuming. I see it live. Why is it so? I once asked a man in this case, why he maltreats his wife like a slave and he said no reasonable man is allowed to do house chores or assist in anything. The work of the man is to bring money that’s all. Can this be true?  Will you like your sisters, daughters, neighbours, friend  be treated badly in the name of marriage? Let’s talk. No abuses or insult please. I need soul lifting contribution.

I think that marriage should not be thought of as a punishment for the female gender. Marriage should be seen as a blessing, as a safe place for both genders to treasure for the rest of their life. Being married and having a family is one of life's greatest goal to be achieved. Having someone care for you and loving them in return is just pure joy. Marriage should be a relationship that both genders could benefit from.

[PNB-1S:4S]

For me, marriage is not a kind of punishment. Many people choose the right person for them, they make sure that they knew every single thing about a person they want to marry. And once they already feel that the person he or she wants to be part of their life, and get married its a fulfillment for them and not a punishment.

[Goldentoken]

Marriage is union of man and woman. Its also a school where one have gotten a degree but still in the school. From the happenings of today, Women getting older than their husband after marriage is really a bad omen. Women are not to handle all the works alone... I admire one Mr Andrew on how he cooks and sometimes wash for his wife, both couples are getting young everyday.
In conclusion to this, I urge that an institution to be established on how to educate people before and after Marriage. Men take care of your wife, don't let society influence take care of your family.

[nguyenthuyduog]

Marriage is not a punishment for men
Which is the result for 1 process when two people love each other
though, it would be a bigger responsibility for the man

[pengoy29]

For me marriage is not a punishment Marriage is one of the greatest gift of God to people it is the time when you will have to face your life with a companion . Maybe sometimes you struggle but even this happens there will be always happiness if you love someone and someone loves you. just like btc .. btc is nothing without its partner the people itself..

[Eugeniya12]

Marriage is union of man and woman. Its also a school where one have gotten a degree but still in the school. From the happenings of today, Women getting older than their husband after marriage is really a bad omen. Women are not to handle all the works alone... I admire one Mr Andrew on how he cooks and sometimes wash for his wife, both couples are getting young everyday.
In conclusion to this, I urge that an institution to be established on how to educate people before and after Marriage. Men take care of your wife, don't let society influence take care of your family.

I think it's probably. If you truely love - marriage isn't change anything!

[Ngoziwealth]

Marriage is a sort of punishment to the NIGERIAN woman, being a Nigerian and taking a cue from my society the Nigerian woman is everything in the home, she cooks, cleans and does all sorts of household chores by herself, by that i mean without househelps. Most of this women also work in offices, at the end of the day they are exhausted, over worked and tend to look older than their age.