Gravity is a hoax

[bluefirecorp_]

Following in other religious extremist shitposting... I'm declaring gravity as an absolute scientific hoax.

Instead; the Flying Spaghetti Monster is holding us down with His long Noodly Appendages. It's entirely true because it told me so in the Gospel.

https://www.klps.pl/pliki/gospel_fsm_eng.pdf

Take gravity, for example: the force of attraction between massive
particles. We know a great deal about the properties of gravity, yet we
know nothing about the cause of the force itself. Why are particles attracted
to one other? If we review the literature, we find a lot of material
dealing with the properties of gravity, but very little dealing with the
underlying cause of this attraction. Until we have a proven answer to
this question, it seems irresponsible to instruct students in what is, ultimately,
just a theory. However, if we must discuss the theory of gravity
at all, then it's reasonable that all suggested theories should be given
equal time, since none have been proven or disproven. Therefore, I formally
submit that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is behind this strange
and often misunderstood force.

What if it is He, pushing us down with His Noodly Appendages, that
causes this force? He is invisible, remember, and is undetectable by
current instruments, so in theory it is possible. And the fact that the
gravitational powers of the Spaghetti Monster haven't been disproven
makes it all the more likely to be true. We can only guess as to His motives,
but it's logical to assume that if He is going to such trouble, there
is a good reason. It could be that He doesn't want us floating off earth
into space, or maybe just that He enjoys touching us—we may never
know. 1
And while it's true that we don't have any empirical evidence to back
up this theory, keep in mind the precedent set by Intelligent Design
proponents. Not only is observable, repeatable evidence not required to
get an alternative theory included in the curriculum, but simply poking
holes in established theory may be enough. In this case, the
established theory of gravity makes no mention as to the cause of the
force; it merely presents the properties of it. I fully expect, then, that
this FSM theory of gravity will be admitted into accepted science with
a minimum of apparently unnecessary bureaucratic nonsense, including
the peer-review process.
For further evidence of the true cause of gravity—that we are being
pushed down by His Noodly Appendages—we need only look at our historical
records. The average height of humans two thousand years ago
was about five feet three inches for males, compared with an average
height of around five feet ten inches for males today. Useless by itself,
this information becomes quite important when viewed in terms of
worldwide population. Humans, apparently obsessed with fucking, have
increased their numbers exponentially over the years. We find, counterintuitively,
that a small population correlates with shorter humans,
and a larger population correlates with taller humans. 2
 This only
makes sense in light of the FSM theory of gravity. With more people on
earth today, there are fewer Noodly Appendages to go around, so we
each receive less touching—pushing down toward the earth—and thus,
with less force downward, we're taller.

We can fully expect that as the population increases, and we receive less
downward pushing by the FSM, we'll continue to grow in height.
Conversely, we can expect that the sudden occurrence of a worldwide
plague would cause our average height to decrease. This phenomenon
can be verified in historical records. We find that regions
undergoing health crises have shorter people -
strong evidence that the theory is sound.
No one is saying that the FSM theory of gravity is
necessarily true, but at the very least, it's based on
sound science, sound enough to be included in the
curriculum with the other nonproven theories. Until
the currently taught theory of gravity, known as
Newtonism, is proven as fact, alternatives should be
taught as well.

R'amen.

[1714491487]

1714491487

[1714491487]

1714491487

[Lammie]

Ofcourse it's published on a polish site. Everything from eastern-europe is shit, especially Poland.

[bluefirecorp_]

Ofcourse it's published on a polish site. Everything from eastern-europe is shit, especially Poland.

That's just a mirror. If you need more evidence:

Checkmate gravity-believers:

[BADecker]

There might hoaxes regarding gravity, but gravity itself isn't a hoax.

Gravity:

gravity
[grav-i-tee]

noun, plural grav·i·ties.

1.    the force of attraction by which terrestrial bodies tend to fall toward the center of the earth.
2.    heaviness or weight.
3.    gravitation in general.
4.    acceleration of gravity.
5.    a unit of acceleration equal to the acceleration of gravity. Symbol : g
6.    serious or critical nature: He seemed to ignore the gravity of his illness.
7.    serious or dignified behavior; dignity; solemnity: to preserve one's gravity in the midst of chaos.
8.    lowness in pitch, as of sounds.

All the things listed in the definition of gravity really exist and happen.

You can call it gravity if you want, or if you want, you can call it by any of the words in any of the other languages that exist... what they call gravity.

You can even make up you own word for gravity... like the FE people want to use the word "density."

It's simply that the people in the English language generally use the word "gravity."

Since all the things in the definition exist, at least as far as simple people who are not deep-thinking scientists are concerned, they have decided to use the word "gravity" to describe them. So, gravity exists.

[bluefirecorp_]

There might hoaxes regarding gravity, but gravity itself isn't a hoax.

Gravity:

gravity
[grav-i-tee]

noun, plural grav·i·ties.

1.    the force of attraction by which terrestrial bodies tend to fall toward the center of the earth.
2.    heaviness or weight.
3.    gravitation in general.
4.    acceleration of gravity.
5.    a unit of acceleration equal to the acceleration of gravity. Symbol : g
6.    serious or critical nature: He seemed to ignore the gravity of his illness.
7.    serious or dignified behavior; dignity; solemnity: to preserve one's gravity in the midst of chaos.
8.    lowness in pitch, as of sounds.

All the things listed in the definition of gravity really exist and happen.

You can call it gravity if you want, or if you want, you can call it by any of the words in any of the other languages that exist... what they call gravity.

You can even make up you own word for gravity... like the FE people want to use the word "density."

It's simply that the people in the English language generally use the word "gravity."

Since all the things in the definition exist, at least as far as simple people who are not deep-thinking scientists are concerned, they have decided to use the word "gravity" to describe them. So, gravity exists.

Gravity is a hoax though; look at the evidence I've proven that exists in the first post!

R'amen.

[BADecker]

There might hoaxes regarding gravity, but gravity itself isn't a hoax.

Gravity:

gravity
[grav-i-tee]

noun, plural grav·i·ties.

1.    the force of attraction by which terrestrial bodies tend to fall toward the center of the earth.
2.    heaviness or weight.
3.    gravitation in general.
4.    acceleration of gravity.
5.    a unit of acceleration equal to the acceleration of gravity. Symbol : g
6.    serious or critical nature: He seemed to ignore the gravity of his illness.
7.    serious or dignified behavior; dignity; solemnity: to preserve one's gravity in the midst of chaos.
8.    lowness in pitch, as of sounds.

All the things listed in the definition of gravity really exist and happen.

You can call it gravity if you want, or if you want, you can call it by any of the words in any of the other languages that exist... what they call gravity.

You can even make up you own word for gravity... like the FE people want to use the word "density."

It's simply that the people in the English language generally use the word "gravity."

Since all the things in the definition exist, at least as far as simple people who are not deep-thinking scientists are concerned, they have decided to use the word "gravity" to describe them. So, gravity exists.

Gravity is a hoax though; look at the evidence I've proven that exists in the first post!

R'amen.

All the things in the dictionary definition, above, are actual things that people use every day. They are not hoaxes. Peoples' understandings of why they work the way they do might be faulty. But the actual happenings are real.

The next thing is naming them so that we can talk about them. People could have called gravity by the word shinglang if they wanted. Or they could have used dipple. Or they could have used blipblap.

There are probably millions of unused words, and a bunch more words that already are used for something, that people could have used to name or describe the things that they used the word "gravity" to name and describe.

As it is, since the word gravity is used to name and/or describe real things, it sounds more like you are simply trying to confuse things. Are you sure that the stuff you talk about in the OP isn't the hoax? Because gravity isn't a hoax. It is simply a word being used to name or describe real things.

Try saying gravity. It sort of puckers the mouth and rolls off the tongue. But you can say it. It isn't a hoax at all.

[bluefirecorp_]

Snip

Unicorns also exist in the dictionary. Gravity is entirely a hoax by individuals wanting us to disbelieve in the flying spaghetti monster!

[BADecker]

Snip

Unicorns also exist in the dictionary. Gravity is entirely a hoax by individuals wanting us to disbelieve in the flying spaghetti monster!

No, unicorns don't exist in the dictionary. Nobody has a dictionary big enough to fit a horse in it, especially one that has a horn in the middle of is forehead.

Since actual, real unicorns don't exist (at least that is publicly known), the word unicorns in the dictionary fits something that is a fiction. However:

The Arabian oryx meets so many of the criteria for a unicorn, it has been described as the "prototype" of the creature. Ancient authorities Aristotle and Pliny the Elder both described it as a one-horned animal but they must have been describing it side-on: the Arabian oryx has two horns that can reach 75cm (29in) long.

Gravity, on the other hand, is a word that is applied to things that actually exist. Gravity theory might be wrong. But gravity itself exists. Anybody who says it doesn't is simply trying to change the language. Why? Because the things that the word gravity talk about, really exist and are used by people around the world on a second-by-second basis.

[bluefirecorp_]

Gravity, on the other hand, is a word that is applied to things that actually exist. Gravity theory might be wrong. But gravity itself exists. Anybody who says it doesn't is simply trying to change the language. Why? Because the things that the word gravity talk about, really exist and are used by people around the world on a second-by-second basis.

Gravity is made up entirely, might as well say "FSM hodl'ing down objects".

No evidence exists to support theory of gravity!!!!

[BADecker]

Gravity, on the other hand, is a word that is applied to things that actually exist. Gravity theory might be wrong. But gravity itself exists. Anybody who says it doesn't is simply trying to change the language. Why? Because the things that the word gravity talk about, really exist and are used by people around the world on a second-by-second basis.

Gravity is made up entirely, might as well say "FSM hodl'ing down objects".

No evidence exists to support theory of gravity!!!!

That's like saying you can toss your car keys on the table, except that they will just float.

[bluefirecorp_]

That's like saying you can toss your car keys on the table, except that they will just float.

The FSM pushes the keys towards the tables with his long invisible noodly appendages, duh?

Haven't you read the Gospel? It says it quite clearly.

[BADecker]

That's like saying you can toss your car keys on the table, except that they will just float.

The FSM pushes the keys towards the tables with his long invisible noodly appendages, duh?

Haven't you read the Gospel? It says it quite clearly.

The keys fall by gravity for people who don't adhere to the FSM.

[bluefirecorp_]

The keys fall by gravity for people who don't adhere to the FSM.

Gravity is a hoax though. Don't you know the sacred scripture?

[DorisHank65]

It certainly is, there's nothing pulling anything to the center of the earth (that's just an invention), if you pay close attention you will notice it's all density, elements that are more dense than others tend to be at the bottom, and elements that are lighter tend to go up, just like Helium goes higher than normal air, just like something more dense than water would sink, just like a balloon filled half with air and half with helium won't ascend or descend but float. We are taught not to question anything even things that are common sense, something that a 6 year old can perceive.

[clareyancey215]

There's no gravity, just density I totally agree, that's why planes can fly and ships can stay on float, if there was no air (a resistance) airplanes wouldn't be able to fly, just like flies can't fly in a vacuum.

[BADecker]

It's gravity that makes dense things act the way they do with each other. Except for flat earth and no gravity people that is. In their case, it's lack of gravity that makes them so dense.

[SaltySpitoon]

Following in other religious extremist shitposting... I'm declaring gravity as an absolute scientific hoax.

Instead; the Flying Spaghetti Monster is holding us down with His long Noodly Appendages. It's entirely true because it told me so in the Gospel.

Finally, someone solved the mystery. Thank you for your work. I shall praise the FSM every day in thanks for saving us from the bad things that'd happen if we weren't pinned down to the ground.

[bluefirecorp_]

Following in other religious extremist shitposting... I'm declaring gravity as an absolute scientific hoax.

Instead; the Flying Spaghetti Monster is holding us down with His long Noodly Appendages. It's entirely true because it told me so in the Gospel.

Finally, someone solved the mystery. Thank you for your work. I shall praise the FSM every day in thanks for saving us from the bad things that'd happen if we weren't pinned down to the ground.

Celebrate every holy Friday with your pasta-goodness. It's only in His meatball-y goodness that we can honor the fallen pirates of the ol'.

R'amen.