Only pay trusted partners before confirmation.
Nobody should be trusted, making sure the transaction is confirmed should be the right way, especially if the transaction support replace-by-fee.
4. Don’t just buy coins.... Study blockchain technology
Blockchain technology is more wider than this, this is just a simple rule that unconfirmed transactions should not be considered valid until it is confirmed.
I call such coins "flash coins" because it appears and disappears after a while
Like you mentioned before, it is called double-spend transactions, because the bitcoin is diverted to another address with different txid after the fee is pump along.
There's a part of the transactions called an rbf flag (replace by fee). You can check any transaction on a blockchain explorer and it'll normally say if this flag is on or off (I think blockchain.com has it but blockchair definitely does).. This is the flag that allows someone to double spend a tx but there are other way to double spend it - they're just more complex and might not be what a scammer knows about.
Blockchain.com is one of the blockchain explorer that do not want to upgrade, they do not indicate transactions to support replace-by-fee or not. Also one thing I do not like about blockchain.com explorer is it does not use sat/vbyte as the feerate, instead stick to the old one, sat/byte. Blockchair.com is better.