OP, if you need default parameter of Bitcoin Core, you can check
https://jlopp.github.io/bitcoin-core-config-generator/ which shows default parameter with short explanation for each group with.
I don't think Bitcoin Core removes the nodes from peers.dat unless they misbehave right? If so, then your peers will reconnect when they restart anyways so no worries there.
I agree, i doubt sending few incomplete transaction/block is enough to get you banned. But even if OP node is banned, usually it's temporary (default is 86400 sec/1 day) and will be added to peers.dat after short time.