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Author Topic: Why is the issue of Genotype affecting relationships?  (Read 271 times)
Sexylizzy2813 (OP)
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April 28, 2023, 01:44:42 PM
 #1

I was in a relationship with this guy for almost 4years, things between us was fine the vibe was just lovely, he met my standard, like what more would a woman want in a man such as him? We were happy. Until the day I felt sick and we got to the hospital, they check that it wasn't something to worry about and he said we should check our Genotype which I agreed. I never knew mine so the result came out and he's SS while I'm AC, I cried my eyes out that day. We just couldn't get things to work out between us but to go our separate ways.

In our society today some people do go and check their Genotype while some don't think is even necessary.
Is it cool to take a girl/guy you haven't get to know that better but still catching feelings for each other to go for a Genotype test? Is some how awkward to me.

In some cases you'd see something like SS + SS = Incompatible. AC + SS = incompatible. SC + SS = incompatible, like the both parties are madly in love. Is really painful to leave someone who you've spent so many year with only to find out that both of you can't get married. Not cool to me but what can we say. In the other case where you have the "perfect ones" per say, you'd see;
AA + AA= compatible
AA + AS= compatible
AA + SS= compatible
AA + AC= compatible
AS + AS= compatible.
They're all cool right? Is it that they're the only ones that are ok to stay in a relationship and the others ain't?
This is what rest that one person I truly loved, felt like beating myself.











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April 28, 2023, 03:22:02 PM
 #2

I did not have idea of what you were talking about so I had to check out on internet to realize you are talking about sickle cell disease. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sickle_cell_disease)
Yes, I have read before that it is very common for people in Africa to suffer from that condition and even there are communities were people are excluded because having that genetic illness.

Here in the Americas, we do not pay attention to our genotype, I have never checked mine and I don't think my parents have, it is less common here.
Interestingly, some scientists have found that those with the illness are more resistant to malaria, so there a theory that sickle cell disease could be some mutation developed through time in African people so they can survive Malaria (which attacks red cells)

I have got not much to say, just to wish you good luck in your life and hopefully you can get with someone you appreciate and he appreciates you back eventually.

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April 28, 2023, 03:29:05 PM
 #3

Its okay to be in love with someone whose genotype is not compactible with yours if you both agree that you wont procreate.
This is a serious mistake most people make while going into relationships; they don't verify these things first and they are very important but there are ways around it if you have made the mistake and you cant bare the loss of your relationship.
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April 28, 2023, 07:22:16 PM
 #4

Its okay to be in love with someone whose genotype is not compactible with yours if you both agree that you wont procreate.
This is a serious mistake most people make while going into relationships; they don't verify these things first and they are very important but there are ways around it if you have made the mistake and you cant bare the loss of your relationship.


I agree that it would be okey for them to stay together and decided not to have children or even adopt one instead.
But I doubt that is an option, since I have learnt from people living in Africa and also users on this forum that having children is an important part of the family culture there and not getting married and not procreating can lead to being socially rejected or stuff like that. In my opinion it is non-sense, since I am from the Americas; but I get how different cultures can be around the world.

I have learnt more about African culture since I joined this forum, tbh.

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Sexylizzy2813 (OP)
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April 28, 2023, 07:45:17 PM
 #5

Its okay to be in love with someone whose genotype is not compactible with yours if you both agree that you wont procreate.
This is a serious mistake most people make while going into relationships; they don't verify these things first and they are very important but there are ways around it if you have made the mistake and you cant bare the loss of your relationship.


I agree that it would be okey for them to stay together and decided not to have children or even adopt one instead.
But I doubt that is an option, since I have learnt from people living in Africa and also users on this forum that having children is an important part of the family culture there and not getting married and not procreating can lead to being socially rejected or stuff like that. In my opinion it is non-sense, since I am from the Americas; but I get how different cultures can be around the world.

I have learnt more about African culture since I joined this forum, tbh.

Adopting isn't a bad idea but you have no idea what joy it would bring for a woman to have her own child instead of adopting.
I can't see myself being with a guy I love so much and yet we can't get married, the shame it would bring to both of us when people finds out that we ain't married but we stay together, is like we're deceiving ourselves. Here in Africa things are done differently unlike yours, like you said people have different cultures and how they even live.











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iBaba
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April 28, 2023, 09:15:53 PM
 #6

In our society today some people do go and check their Genotype while some don't think is even necessary.
Is it cool to take a girl/guy you haven't get to know that better but still catching feelings for each other to go for a Genotype test? Is some how awkward to me.
It will interest the whole world to know that in Africa, particularly some part of Nigeria, so many young girls have been married off to men they don't know, nor love, for the sake of culture.

This culture gives more priority to the men (Patriarch) than women and because of that, families of the bride do not care about her feelings before giving her out in marriage without considering the health implications. eg; genotype incompatible.

A typical example is when a crown prince or a royalty picks interest on a lady, the family of the lady makes it a sanctity to marry her off to the prince without observing or taking into cognizant the adverse effects of such decisions. In most cases, the couples have incompatible genotypes and the lady faces more challenges and humiliation.

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April 30, 2023, 07:57:26 PM
 #7

The issue of genotype is a very important topic. Because it can lead to death. If a couple whose genotype are not compatible, eventually have children. If any of the child is ss, meaning that the child automatically has sickle cell, chances are that the child will die.

It is better to check your status before deciding to have children. Especially as a black person.

 Sometimes they even grow up to adolescent before eventually dying. I guess eighty percent of them don't survive. I also believe that this is common among black people.











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April 30, 2023, 09:12:29 PM
 #8


I agree that it would be okey for them to stay together and decided not to have children or even adopt one instead.
But I doubt that is an option, since I have learnt from people living in Africa and also users on this forum that having children is an important part of the family culture there and not getting married and not procreating can lead to being socially rejected or stuff like that. In my opinion it is non-sense, since I am from the Americas; but I get how different cultures can be around the world.

I have learnt more about African culture since I joined this forum, tbh.

It is nice to know that you have learnt more about African culture and it is also good that you know that the culture is mutating  and going through alculturation which is affecting the social, economic or psychological state of a typical African society. I have to let you know that things like polygamy are giving way to monogamy giving rise to adoption of children where couples in nuclear homes are not able to procreate for one health reason or the other - this was not heard before. I guess your country (America) and other European countries have influenced African society a great deal to the extent you may not be able to trace a pure breed of African culture lately and this is the effect of brain drain going on in Africa. Unlike 30 years ago, abortion, adoption of children, monogamy and nuclear homes etc were not African practice but things have changed because of alculturation, a product of technological developments. The African culture is not what it was before now and if you want to learn more you can read Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe .
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April 30, 2023, 11:27:07 PM
 #9



I agree that it would be okey for them to stay together and decided not to have children or even adopt one instead.
But I doubt that is an option, since I have learnt from people living in Africa and also users on this forum that having children is an important part of the family culture there and not getting married and not procreating can lead to being socially rejected or stuff like that. In my opinion it is non-sense, since I am from the Americas; but I get how different cultures can be around the world.

I have learnt more about African culture since I joined this forum, tbh.
It's nice to know that you have lent other culture aside from your own from users in this forum and it sound great to be able to differentiate their culture and beliefs from yours and what is irrationally normal,  Africans have hard a lot of horrible culture such as the killing of twins in some part of the continent until it was abolished by a western woman some decade/centuries ago.

Likewise also os the perception and believe in witch craft existence and the perception pf anyone not being able to bear they own biological kids as a witch in Africa a lot of things are intellectually and scientifically wrong but yet it's a standard of their existence in some cases.

 
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May 01, 2023, 02:52:14 AM
 #10


I agree that it would be okey for them to stay together and decided not to have children or even adopt one instead.
But I doubt that is an option, since I have learnt from people living in Africa and also users on this forum that having children is an important part of the family culture there and not getting married and not procreating can lead to being socially rejected or stuff like that. In my opinion it is non-sense, since I am from the Americas; but I get how different cultures can be around the world.

I have learnt more about African culture since I joined this forum, tbh.

It is nice to know that you have learnt more about African culture and it is also good that you know that the culture is mutating  and going through alculturation which is affecting the social, economic or psychological state of a typical African society. I have to let you know that things like polygamy are giving way to monogamy giving rise to adoption of children where couples in nuclear homes are not able to procreate for one health reason or the other - this was not heard before. I guess your country (America) and other European countries have influenced African society a great deal to the extent you may not be able to trace a pure breed of African culture lately and this is the effect of brain drain going on in Africa. Unlike 30 years ago, abortion, adoption of children, monogamy and nuclear homes etc were not African practice but things have changed because of alculturation, a product of technological developments. The African culture is not what it was before now and if you want to learn more you can read Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe .

I would never under-estimate the influence of European powers over the African culture. Depending whom you ask, some may argue that people from Africa were forced to change their way of living and thinking because the colonization, both political and cultural; I assume some young people there prefer to embrace the western values over the old African traditions, it is the same here in LATAM, people here are influenced for the cultural spheres of power of USA and Europe.

It is the way it is, I just hope we can continue to keep the good things of our culture and do not absorb the negative things from foreign nations.





I agree that it would be okey for them to stay together and decided not to have children or even adopt one instead.
But I doubt that is an option, since I have learnt from people living in Africa and also users on this forum that having children is an important part of the family culture there and not getting married and not procreating can lead to being socially rejected or stuff like that. In my opinion it is non-sense, since I am from the Americas; but I get how different cultures can be around the world.

I have learnt more about African culture since I joined this forum, tbh.
It's nice to know that you have lent other culture aside from your own from users in this forum and it sound great to be able to differentiate their culture and beliefs from yours and what is irrationally normal,  Africans have hard a lot of horrible culture such as the killing of twins in some part of the continent until it was abolished by a western woman some decade/centuries ago.

Likewise also os the perception and believe in witch craft existence and the perception pf anyone not being able to bear they own biological kids as a witch in Africa a lot of things are intellectually and scientifically wrong but yet it's a standard of their existence in some cases.

i am aware of some of those believes which could be considered to be nonsensical on other places of the world but I'll let you know that here in South America there are towns in the jungle where people also believe in the existence of black magic and witchcraft, so there is not much difference in that sense. However, human sacrifice or AIDS denial is not a thing here.

To be honest, when I first joined the forum I thought I would mostly encounter people from USA and Europe. African and Asian people truly seem to represent an important percentage of the traffic around here.

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May 01, 2023, 08:54:26 AM
Last edit: May 01, 2023, 09:06:24 AM by Die_empty
 #11

I did not have idea of what you were talking about so I had to check out on internet to realize you are talking about sickle cell disease. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sickle_cell_disease)
Yes, I have read before that it is very common for people in Africa to suffer from that condition and even there are communities were people are excluded because of having that genetic illness.

Here in the Americas, we do not pay attention to our genotype, I have never checked mine and I don't think my parents have, it is less common here.

Quote
Sickle cell trait is an inherited blood disorder that affects 1 million to 3 million Americans and 8 to 10 percent of African Americans. Sickle cell trait can also affect Hispanics, South Asians, Caucasians from southern Europe, and people from Middle Eastern countries. More than 100 million people worldwide have sickle cell trait.
AMERICAN SOCIETY OF HEMATOLOGY
Sickle cell disease also affect many people in almost all the continent of the world but Africa has the highest population of those infected. And the reason why many sufferers of this sickness die is because of Africa's poor health facilities. Most wealthy citizens that suffer from this sickness seek medical attention abroad and they live healthily. The less privileged have no other option but to avoid the intermarriage of genotypes that will lead to the birth of sickle cell offspring. Genotype tests are a compulsory requirement by most religious bodies before marriage will be conducted. If both partners have any genotype defect the marriage will be recited by the church, parents, and even friends.

I have seen true lovers miss the opportunity of staying together because of this genotype issue. It's really heartbreaking but we have to endure this situation. Adopting children might be a good option but it is expensive and most people can it afford it. I know it sounds strange to many people that not having children after marriage in Africa is unacceptable.

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May 01, 2023, 10:10:05 AM
 #12

Not really affecting the relationship, it's just a prove that the society is advancing and overcoming illiteracy. Then, our fathers never had the knowledge of genotype and how it affect the children. But with rhe help of research and science education, we're all enlightened about the danger of genotypes. In the other way, we're fighting against bring children with sickle cell. Before marriage it's advicable to do a genotype check, for better good of the society and in reducing the bearing children with sickle cell.

I advice,no matter the outcome, both parties should respect the results and adjust if it comes out positive. Genotype has help the society in reducing children born with sickle cell than any method therein.
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May 01, 2023, 10:50:03 AM
 #13

he's SS while I'm AC
So he's sick and you're fine CMIIW (I learned about it today)
Yet he can grow, become an adult, and want to marry you.

The chance of your kid (SS x AC) would be:
* AS 50% -> normal health, carrier
* SC 50% -> Hb SC disease, milder than SS

If you want to gamble, you'll have a 50% chance of a normal child... if you're unlucky HB SC is still milder than SS.
Well, not definitely the best option, but I've seen worst families and yet they are still fine.
If you don't want to gamble, adoption is one option, but make sure you are fine with an SS husband.

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May 01, 2023, 11:00:25 PM
 #14

Because you won't want to be the cause of your unborn children problem, I know that it is very had to make decisions more expecially when it comes to love but if you are not compatible as I tag it genotypically is advisable not to get the relationship going because you will endanger your offsprings.

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May 01, 2023, 11:42:37 PM
 #15

Many if what I am seeing here is not even supposed to be discussed here. This is normal and we must take necessary precautions to make sure that we do the necessary things to make sure that we don't blindly take decisions that will affect us and cause a lot of troubles in our life thatbwikl ruin everything we have worked for just because of relationship. We need to be very careful our  genotype not to make the wrong mistakes.

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May 02, 2023, 04:15:02 AM
 #16

We know that the test is done to find out the possibility that will happen if you want to have children and it is intended to be able to get healthy offspring, but because the test must end the relationship is the only way? the point is that the test is the development of health sciences in order to get healthier children so it is very possible that other sciences have also been developed to suppress or reduce all the bad possibilities that can, maybe there will be therapy or medicines that can be consumed so that the impact is not as bad with what is imagined and also it's all just a possibility that will happen so it is also very possible that you will still have healthy offspring even though you are still married to that man.

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May 02, 2023, 11:58:42 PM
 #17

he's SS while I'm AC
So he's sick and you're fine CMIIW (I learned about it today)
Yet he can grow, become an adult, and want to marry you.

The chance of your kid (SS x AC) would be:
* AS 50% -> normal health, carrier
* SC 50% -> Hb SC disease, milder than SS

If you want to gamble, you'll have a 50% chance of a normal child... if you're unlucky HB SC is still milder than SS.
Well, not definitely the best option, but I've seen worst families and yet they are still fine.
If you don't want to gamble, adoption is one option, but make sure you are fine with an SS husband.

To be frank with you, we thought about all these options but who are we to gamble with an innocent child, ok supposing we did as you said and things went bad for the child and the child start falling sick and even dosing off in class or something, who should be responsible for that? Is just going to hurt the child if he/she start asking for answers and you don't expect"we" the parents to lie, you know.
These are not what we should think of because of love, I can't see my child suffering for some I choose out of my selfish interest... Common bro, not an option.











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May 03, 2023, 03:39:21 AM
 #18

To be frank with you, we thought about all these options but who are we to gamble with an innocent child, ok supposing we did as you said and things went bad for the child and the child start falling sick and even dosing off in class or something, who should be responsible for that? Is just going to hurt the child if he/she start asking for answers and you don't expect"we" the parents to lie, you know.
Ask your man, would he reassure you that everything will be fine? That no matter the outcome, he will love the child and provide.
There are way more uncertainties in life that you can't manage even if you choose a different guy who is healthy. Would he stay faithful? Would you be able to pregnant? Can you deliver a healthy baby? Would you be happier with him? etc. These are some problems that a married couple should solve together.

I'd be honest with you that I didn't do any medical checkups before I married my wife because everything that will happen will be our problem to solve. If a 50% probability of bad things happening shakes your faith in your relationship, well... maybe he's not the man or you're not the woman he needs.

There are people who marry disabled people without thinking about the cons.

These are not what we should think of because of love, I can't see my child suffering for some I choose out of my selfish interest...
You are only selfish if you won't take responsibility for your action.

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May 03, 2023, 08:48:28 AM
 #19

It's incredibly sad to read that a four year relationship that seemingly had no issues was ended because of a biological difference that if otherwise was not found out, may have lead to the relationship continuing as nicely as it was from that day.

From what I'm reading everything still comes down to chance. How can you live your life trying to get the best odds or in other words "finding the best compatibility"? I believe that you'd end up sadder than if you were to just live your life without worry and let nature have its course.

That's my personal opinion anyway. Sad to read a lot of this thread.

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May 03, 2023, 11:37:28 AM
 #20

We know that the test is done to find out the possibility that will happen if you want to have children and it is intended to be able to get healthy offspring, but because the test must end the relationship is the only way? the point is that the test is the development of health sciences in order to get healthier children so it is very possible that other sciences have also been developed to suppress or reduce all the bad possibilities that can, maybe there will be therapy or medicines that can be consumed so that the impact is not as bad with what is imagined and also it's all just a possibility that will happen so it is also very possible that you will still have healthy offspring even though you are still married to that man.

Being realistic, the sickle red cells illness is genetical in nature and while there are treatments which can help to cope with the pain, anemia and other symptoms, it is a difficult thing to live with. Also in many African communities people who were born with it are mistreated and pointed out as cursed people and similar things, they are pushed to being Outcasts, in some occasions.

The only permanent solution for it would be to receive a narrow bone transplant, which would slowly and steadily replace the faulty red cells in the blood with normal ones permanently. However, it can be an expensive procedure and a compatible donor would be needed.

Narrow bone transplants have also the possibly to cure AIDS, but that is even a more special case. Look for the case of the "London Patient" and South American who was cured of AIDS that way.

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