How do you handle borrowers?

[uchegod-21]

How do you deal with the situation where people who you are close to like family and friends are constantly demanding for one kind of financial assistance or the other. It is not possible to help everyone, so how do you handle it and make sure that giving and trying to help people do not turn into a problem for you. How about people who borrow money from you and never return it or even show any effort to make payment back to you, how did you go about the situation?

Many things have happened to me about borrowing and giving to friends. One thing is that when they know you have the mind of giving, more and more people will keep approaching you for giving or fake borrowing untill you go broke. If you stop helping, no one will die of course.

There's one that happened to me recently. Someone called me to lend him $200 that he will repay in month time. I was unable to lend him because I exhausted my fund for charity that month. Can you imagine that exactly the same day he promised to pay back the money, he chatted me up and was asking for any amount of money to fill gas. I sent him money for gas, and was like, assuming I gave that $200, there was no how it would be repaid.

[Bushdark]

Be clear that you never lend money to your family and friends, if you want to help then consider it as donation and never expect it to be returned cause if they has the ability to pay back then they could get a personal loan from their bank which means they are not in the position to pay you back and you still considering helping them then consider it as a complete loss.

It is very important for us to differentiate between family and friends. Borrowing your family members money and they are not ready to pay is something that can be settled amicably without any problem but we must also remember that it can always lead to big problem if the person in particular is not always ready to pay back. We can't force people to pay us our money but there is always a way we can go about it making them to pay unwillingly.

[jrrsparkles]

We can't force people to pay us our money but there is always a way we can go about it making them to pay unwillingly.

I didn't get this part, what do you mean by make them pay unwillingly? That is what forcing and if its coming from a loan shark then its understandable but would you do this to your family member just to get back the money then it will be the end of the relation with that person and anyone who is closed to that person.

[Y3shot]

Some humans are very difficult set of people,  when lending money expecially to people at the time one needs to be careful. If it someone you don't really know much about the person if the money will be returned back at the due time, it is not advisable to lend such person a huge amount because it is a risk which their is no guarantee if the person will return the money or not.  If at all we want to decide to lend people which will can tell how straightforward they are atleast we can start with the amount we can't afford to lose or not to give at all to avoid unnecessary problems to pay back the money.

[Hispo]

We can't force people to pay us our money but there is always a way we can go about it making them to pay unwillingly.

I didn't get this part, what do you mean by make them pay unwillingly? That is what forcing and if its coming from a loan shark then its understandable but would you do this to your family member just to get back the money then it will be the end of the relation with that person and anyone who is closed to that person.

I cannot put my finger in what he means with that either, if I had to guess I suppose he means one could force someone to give us back the money through legal procedures or by negotiation of the interest rate, not sure.
In the worst case, I believe getting some colateral is the best idea when comes to giving money to strangers and also family members, getting clear terms about a loan can help for both people not to lose their relationship because of money.

Though, depending whom you ask, asking a family member for collateral would be frown upon or distasteful. Here in my culture family is supposed the be the most important thing, so asking for colateral would be seen rather as something distasteful.

[jrrsparkles]

We can't force people to pay us our money but there is always a way we can go about it making them to pay unwillingly.

I didn't get this part, what do you mean by make them pay unwillingly? That is what forcing and if its coming from a loan shark then its understandable but would you do this to your family member just to get back the money then it will be the end of the relation with that person and anyone who is closed to that person.

I cannot put my finger in what he means with that either, if I had to guess I suppose he means one could force someone to give us back the money through legal procedures or by negotiation of the interest rate, not sure.
In the worst case, I believe getting some colateral is the best idea when comes to giving money to strangers and also family members, getting clear terms about a loan can help for both people not to lose their relationship because of money.

Though, depending whom you ask, asking a family member for collateral would be frown upon or distasteful. Here in my culture family is supposed the be the most important thing, so asking for colateral would be seen rather as something distasteful.

Legal procedures for small loan that will never work in my opinion and if possible to get collateral then it will give you something to hold on to get the money back but we are talking about family and friends who we are close with that means asking for a collateral can be uncomfortable but denying is always better than regretting it.

[Barikui1]

As a proud African that I am, I no longer borrow people due to the horrible experience I have had in the past.
If I have the money, I prefer giving you 50% of the money you ask free, than to borrow because most of the strain relationship I had now  is due to borrowing and their in ability to pay back.
I try to main relationship by not borrowing, but giving it out free if the money is not that much.

[Zoomic]

How do you deal with the situation where people who you are close to like family and friends are constantly demanding for one kind of financial assistance or the other. It is not possible to help everyone, so how do you handle it and make sure that giving and trying to help people do not turn into a problem for you. How about people who borrow money from you and never return it or even show any effort to make payment back to you, how did you go about the situation?

I will never displease myself to please other people. If I must lend anyone money, then it must be amounts I am willing to lose and not money I kept aside to use to settle specific needs because, some borrowers can be tricky,  especially the ones that are related to you by blood because they know that the consequences of their actions will be very minimal. Most times,  they might want to use emotional blackmail to lure you into lending to them sums you both know they cannot pay back. It is better you give out what you can afford to lose and forget about it, than giving out large sums you live to regret later. Many relationships have been ruined because of borrowing .

People really need to pay back their loans with the same energy they used to borrow it. This is the right thing to do.

[Sanugarid]

How do you deal with the situation where people who you are close to like family and friends are constantly demanding for one kind of financial assistance or the other. It is not possible to help everyone, so how do you handle it and make sure that giving and trying to help people do not turn into a problem for you. How about people who borrow money from you and never return it or even show any effort to make payment back to you, how did you go about the situation?

This happened to my mom and the one who borrowed money from her was her brother, because my mom is also very kind and she can't stand her brother even though he is very stupid and has a separate family. Of course, the borrowed money was not paid until it reached the point where they were fighting and the children were already involved. In the end we were the bad ones, it was you who helped and you were the bad ones. 500k was borrowed money but it was not paid back. My mom let it go and what she did was that she didn't recognize that idiot as her brother, including his children. It was also a bad fight because I also fought with my cousin because he interfered in our parents' fight. We believe there is karma, just wait for them to come to them.

[Kelward]

Only lend out what you can afford to lose.
In the past, if someone whom I am not certain about came to me asking for Financial assistance, I would only give them the amount am comfortable losing in case they don't repay. For the case of family members or very close friends, I give them without expecting it back.

If I feel like I can't afford to lend out the money I have, i just simply tell them that I don't have anything I can lend out at that moment. If they offer any form of tangible collateral, then well and good.

This is the best method to adapt when borrowing money to family and friends, lend the amount of money that you can afford to loose, so in the case where they can not repay, it'll not affect the relationship. Money matters are very sensitive, so we need to apply wisdom while dealing on financial matters with loved ones, because it's easy for envy and enemity to set in. So best thing is not to let them to know your true financial position, so as to avoid unnecessary enemity when you can not support financially or lend a loved one.

One of the disadvantages of disclosing how much you're truly worth to family and friends is because some envious and wicked ones among them will keep coming back for more financial help or lending that they have no intention of repaying until they're sure that you're broke at come down to their label. Some can even connive with criminals to plot how to steal from you, or worse kidnap or even murder, it's an extreme assumption, but it happens.

[JMBitcointernational]

How do you deal with the situation where people who you are close to like family and friends are constantly demanding for one kind of financial assistance or the other. It is not possible to help everyone, so how do you handle it and make sure that giving and trying to help people do not turn into a problem for you. How about people who borrow money from you and never return it or even show any effort to make payment back to you, how did you go about the situation?

Borrowing has been part of human existence , no one has it all , most times we help irrespective of the little we have … there is this popular saying that states that “givers never lack” , So when you give Dont expect anything in returns But when it comes to lending money to people very close to you ! I will inarguably Say that it is not wrong even when you know that the Person cannot pay back just try as much as possible  To give out funds that you can let go … Dont expect So much from the money you give out as lending To someone around you because disappointment is certain .

[Obim34]

It's crazy how some persons or family members always expect much from a person once they see the person has a nice job and is doing pretty good. They don't understand that most times you might not in perfect condition to be of aid to their problems and some will make it look like you being greedy.

One things I know for sure is I give what I have and if i don't have to give I clearly tell the person, so he has the option of looking else  where I wouldn't take loan on behalf of them.
Sometimes they should learn to do things on their own without the help of others, that's being dependent

[Sanugarid]

Only lend out what you can afford to lose.
In the past, if someone whom I am not certain about came to me asking for Financial assistance, I would only give them the amount am comfortable losing in case they don't repay. For the case of family members or very close friends, I give them without expecting it back.

If I feel like I can't afford to lend out the money I have, i just simply tell them that I don't have anything I can lend out at that moment. If they offer any form of tangible collateral, then well and good.

That's right, this is the way to avoid any problem about that and it's very simple. You can really refuse if you yourself don't have money to lend to your family or friends, they will understand that. If you have something extra that you won't use, you can lend it, it's that simple. And I also agree with what you said that you should not expect to be able to return the money that your family borrowed because it is your family, not someone else's. And actually I am that family, I borrow money but I don't pay it back. Only for a small amount.

[Perfectbaby]

Its very hard to borrow a family relative money when you know that such person can't pay back whenever you needed the money or when the date is due giving or borrowing family member money is like sinking your money into Well because they will feel you have enough to even cover up maybe when you request the money you turn to their enemy because you simply request for your money, to me what i will always advise anyone close to me when giving a family member money you should only spare out the amount you can afford to loss because borrowing a family member money is like dashing them that money so you don't expect a pay back even though they personally request to borrow the money.

[rodskee]

How do you deal with the situation where people who you are close to like family and friends are constantly demanding for one kind of financial assistance or the other. It is not possible to help everyone, so how do you handle it and make sure that giving and trying to help people do not turn into a problem for you. How about people who borrow money from you and never return it or even show any effort to make payment back to you, how did you go about the situation?

What i do?

Instead of Loaning  them the amount they needed I only handing them smaller amount

e.g . Borrowing 1 hundred dollars , I gave them 20 dollars instead but telling them it is
not a loan instead a Help so by chance they wil not come back to ask again because I already helped
them and they are too shy to ask for another in long time unless very important of emergency.\


Have done this many times and till not it helps , because the problem about loaning
our family members or friends is?

1. we may lose friendship/closeness because of the said loan.

2. Respect will be gone because of Unpaid loans.

So my way prevent that from happening for many years now.

[Y3shot]

Its very hard to borrow a family relative money when you know that such person can't pay back whenever you needed the money or when the date is due giving or borrowing family member money is like sinking your money into Well because they will feel you have enough to even cover up maybe when you request the money you turn to their enemy because you simply request for your money, to me what i will always advise anyone close to me when giving a family member money you should only spare out the amount you can afford to loss because borrowing a family member money is like dashing them that money so you don't expect a pay back even though they personally request to borrow the money.

You hit the point very well, the money you can't afford to lose is what should be given to family members,  one of the things that has always made family members to have misunderstanding is because of disagreement of money.  When it comes to money between family members people need to be careful because when family members are not in good terms it is very difficult to bring them back, so it is better to lend them money that you can't afford to lose.

[Volimack]

One should not borrow money from one's family members if not returned on time it spoils the relationship and causes problems. Like any contract there are bound to be misunderstandings. Problems involving money can be especially tricky if a family member who agrees to lend money may need to repay the money before the agreed time or you may have difficulty paying the loan on time. Borrow only you can afford to pay back. Don't borrow from a family that you think may bring chaos to the family. If you take a loan from the family and repay it on time the bond is strengthened.

[Ravichnadra]

One of the very toughest situations where you're on the edge of the world. My friends always seek financial help and I been helping them at my best. but when i get into some difficulties or tend to ask the money back. I have to go through the whole process of explaining why I need the money back.

After learning about them I made a strict policy to myself. It's a BIG NO to borrowers than saying YES and losing the respect and bond we had over anything.

Just being practical is more of a way to handle them.

[SlowPP]

How do you deal with the situation where people who you are close to like family and friends are constantly demanding for one kind of financial assistance or the other. It is not possible to help everyone, so how do you handle it and make sure that giving and trying to help people do not turn into a problem for you. How about people who borrow money from you and never return it or even show any effort to make payment back to you, how did you go about the situation?

There's a lot of challenges going on with every individual it's possible to help everyone who's in need  when you are willing to help your fellow brother or friend and you have enough money to give to him when he's in need of it remember we should always do good it comes back to us unexpected ways.

[BADecker]

If they want to borrow something from me, they must really be in sad shape. At least, for the moment, I have a roof over my head.