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Author Topic: What did you consider the worst advice you received from your parents as a child  (Read 76 times)
Moreno233 (OP)
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March 29, 2024, 12:39:02 PM
 #1

As a Nigerian, parental advice is highly treasured and to a large extent, shape the future of their children. Most people grow up following the script written for them by their parents in the form of advice. Of course, the type and advice from parents depends on what was trending then and the exposure level of the parents.

People within the age bracket of 25-40years will agree with me that the main wish/advice of parents to their children in Sub Saharan Africa was "go to school, graduate and get a job". Virtually every child then will confirm to have received this kinds of advice from their parents or guardians. The problem with this is that people were so focused in graduating to get a job rather than really doing what they would have loved doing. This same advice made a lot of people chose courses they wouldn't have studied just because they heard it will be easier for them to get a job with them. People from the oil rich region of Niger Delta can confirm how most of them studied engineering because they want to work in oil company. A lot of people including parents actually regret this kinds of advice including myself, many of my friends and even my cousin who is yet to get a job after graduating from Uniport with 2.2 in Gas Engineering.

Just so we make this a discussion, what do you consider the worst advice you received from your parents or the people you looked up to even though you know they meant well for you?

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March 29, 2024, 01:36:02 PM
 #2

Just so we make this a discussion, what do you consider the worst advice you received from your parents or the people you looked up to even though you know they meant well for you?
All what you have said is nothing but the truth, our parent deprived us of what we wished to learn rather forcing us against our wish and as a result of that our society is graduating with first class of what they don't know about. Most people sort there way out from the university to get a better grade to impress their parents. In Africa Nigeria to be precise parents don respect the choice and decition of their children but uses parental authority to make them do what they don't want. I believe if African children where given the previlege to go for what they know best I think we would have produced alot of things . Most at time when I go to Facebook I see young talented Nigerians and what they produce, It baffles me to see that these set Of people weren't even educated as much as expected. But they where able to do what graduate with an excellent results can not do.

The worst advise I've recieved from my parents is not far from your explanation. In all what I have learnt so far I can not force my child against his/her wish or desire, because his desire might be his destiny and I may deprive him to what his called for. If you look at young Nigeria content creators today which are popular popularly known as kiriku, emanuella, success They are doing well and there parent are proud of them, and they are not yet up to higher institution standards except from emanuella. Most people have discovered there destiny while some are wallowing in confussion. Education is not by force and as such I can't force my children against their wish. I can make it necessary but if any of them doesn't have such brain then he/she will be given a proper attention to lean a useful skill.

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March 29, 2024, 03:15:35 PM
 #3

Op this your post is the origin of our major problem as the facts of the truth on it remains hidden up till now many parents still persuade their children even to take a course that suits them as parents not undermining if the child had any know about the course or not some parents don't even know what they ask their children to study just because they see some one that made it through the course they reference and begin to compared, and compel their children to study such course.

I was an eye witness during peer group my friend love music but parents refuse that it must be an engineer today the boy end up graduating without job as his graduation was nothing to write home.

Our government too has some hand to this because it's how they communicate this education to our parents them that leads to such persuasion them on their part failed to fulfill the obligation by creating favorable ground.

The parents persuasion is two sided as it favour some person and some face total failure at the end due to inability to comprehend what they are forced into, the worst of these is that it don't only affects physical nature both psychologically as the situation has leads many to commit succid as they think they has loose it in life course by parents.

Choice to make decisions should be given to children by parents or teach them to know that education can't only be a route to succeed but God given talent when properly develop and harness can also guarantee greatness.

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March 29, 2024, 04:18:47 PM
 #4

Just as you have assumed, one was then a child and don't really knows what is best for him, we are just only moved by what we see without having a deeper thought about any possible danger ahead in whatever thing we do, its a good thing to listen to what our parents are saying to us because they are more experienced that we do, we have our own right as well in making the decision on things we want, but not in all aspects we may have to depend on ourself for final judgement, what the parent does is verify important in ones life in becoming whom he should be.

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March 30, 2024, 05:07:15 AM
 #5

As a Nigerian, parental advice is highly treasured and to a large extent, shape the future of their children. Most people grow up following the script written for them by their parents in the form of advice. Of course, the type and advice from parents depends on what was trending then and the exposure level of the parents.

People within the age bracket of 25-40years will agree with me that the main wish/advice of parents to their children in Sub Saharan Africa was "go to school, graduate and get a job". Virtually every child then will confirm to have received this kinds of advice from their parents or guardians. The problem with this is that people were so focused in graduating to get a job rather than really doing what they would have loved doing. This same advice made a lot of people chose courses they wouldn't have studied just because they heard it will be easier for them to get a job with them. People from the oil rich region of Niger Delta can confirm how most of them studied engineering because they want to work in oil company. A lot of people including parents actually regret this kinds of advice including myself, many of my friends and even my cousin who is yet to get a job after graduating from Uniport with 2.2 in Gas Engineering.

Just so we make this a discussion, what do you consider the worst advice you received from your parents or the people you looked up to even though you know they meant well for you?
I don't see going to school as a bad advise,  education is still the key forget that here in Nigeria they have changed the lock, when our parents were growing up, then education wasn't for everyone, most persons couldn't go to school becos most persons didn't value education or they didn't have the resources, most of our parents didn't even have the opportunity to go to school and most of them made a vow that since dey didn't have the opportunity their children must go to school, in Nigeria we depend so much on education and at the end of the day there is no work, finishing school at University level is the dream for every Nigerian parents for their children, and it's not a bad advise, just that we have a system thats not working, it's now left for u as a graduate to look for  a skill, look for something, somewhere and apply what you learnt from school to the benefit of our society .
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March 30, 2024, 07:39:41 AM
 #6

Personally I don't see the fact that our parents adviced us to go to school so that we can secure better jobs as bad advices. Of course education is a promising fact that if after graduation the scholar would gain a better job. It's real and still ongoing in the reality lives of today. The problem of the system is only that our top leaders who has been occupying the offices are just wicked protecting the job positions for their relatives and circles and also those who're due to live offices for retirements doesn't want to live so that they can create vacants for others to fix in. The impactation of education to our lives as Africans has brought us the development and advancement were today including the humanity exercises we enjoys today.
Educational aside gaining job through it has brought us out from darkness but to lights.
Do we ever imagine the consequences faced by those who hasn't been opportuned to development of their mental faculties which educations seems to be its rehabilitations? Let's not underestimate the value of education. If it doesn't work out for you or me doesn't mean it doesn't work for others.
Anyhow, going through school has the tendencies to expose us to lives in a versatile and volatile potentials.

The only advice I've received from my parents which I feels it was bad is that during my school time, I was opportuned to get a job that is little appreciatable that year comparing to my level of guy I was then andi was also under parental guidance so my parents asked me to decline from the job so that I can concentrate on my studies else I'd get distracted once I start working for money.
Literally they could be right because during those days we're early moved and controlled by pleasures once the money to afford it was there.
My parents said after my graduation there'd always be a secured job for me because my dad was also a local political influencer but low and behold, before my graduation my dad lost his appointment and had not more of the power to secure me the promised Job after my graduation.
So I had to get on the labor markets and struggles to make life easy for myself.

So I feel if I was allowed to accept the job I would had been more of exposed, engaged and secured better personalities and after my graduation things would had been easier for me to face other phases of life after I live school than coming to struggle and striving ahead again.

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March 30, 2024, 08:22:52 AM
 #7

Just so we make this a discussion, what do you consider the worst advice you received from your parents or the people you looked up to even though you know they meant well for you?
Truly, most of the advice given to us by our parents were wrong. Nobody is 100% right after all. It was not intentional they only felt it was the best advice based on their scope of knowledge. I won't say it's the worst advice but rather a parental mistake done during my early age as a teen was not allowing me to do what i know how to do best in life. At the age of 12 i was the best pianist in my community, i also travel to other states within the country. But that was not where my dream stopped. I had the mindset of travelling to other countries because of piano, playing for bit artist in their music tours and so on. I begged that i go for a music school in port Harcourt. There was a time i got a sponsor who was willing to sponsor everything till am done in school, but my parents refused because they want me to be an engineer.

I see most persons speak against education like its wrong. A parent that does not know the value of education during their time would never insist that his children must go to school. Education is key but finding the talent of a child and pushing him to reach that dream is what is necessary. If i choose i want to become a doctor, definitely i would excel in my academics because that is the part to my dreams.

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March 30, 2024, 10:25:43 AM
 #8

As a Nigerian, parental advice is highly treasured and to a large extent, shape the future of their children. Most people grow up following the script written for them by their parents in the form of advice. Of course, the type and advice from parents depends on what was trending then and the exposure level of the parents.

People within the age bracket of 25-40years will agree with me that the main wish/advice of parents to their children in Sub Saharan Africa was "go to school, graduate and get a job". Virtually every child then will confirm to have received this kinds of advice from their parents or guardians. The problem with this is that people were so focused in graduating to get a job rather than really doing what they would have loved doing. This same advice made a lot of people chose courses they wouldn't have studied just because they heard it will be easier for them to get a job with them. People from the oil rich region of Niger Delta can confirm how most of them studied engineering because they want to work in oil company. A lot of people including parents actually regret this kinds of advice including myself, many of my friends and even my cousin who is yet to get a job after graduating from Uniport with 2.2 in Gas Engineering.

Just so we make this a discussion, what do you consider the worst advice you received from your parents or the people you looked up to even though you know they meant well for you?

That's the problem, many of us have received this advice from our parents and to us the children we don't have option at this point than to adhere strictly to this advice because to us the advice is to set on track for the future, I remember something, when I finish secondary school a woman came to my dad and advice him to enrol me in the navy but my dad refused to listen to that, personally it has been my dream to be a naval officer but my father said that I will go to school, I went to the university and studied biochemistry, the worst of it all is that up till this moment I have never practiced anything in biochemistry it has been tech all this while, I have learned a very big lesson, my children will choose what the want to be and I will guild and support them in any career they chose.

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March 30, 2024, 12:23:26 PM
 #9

Na so e be, small pikin dem now na there parents, family members, teachers dey advise dem to go school, study engineering, medicine, law, pharmacy or one of those conventional courses just because them hear say e dey pay well or them dey get work well well. The problem be say most times, say these things wey them dey advice people no dey match the person in question e passion or their interests. So I think say this one na why person suppose try dey take time to know wetin dem like wella, wetin be their passion and make dem think about their future well before them go school. And so if person dey know wetin dem like, them go fit choose the right course wey go fit dem well. I get the idea say parents dem only dey try make sure say their pikin dey ok, but the fact be say, e no go work well if dem no understand say the person must dey happy with wetin dem dey do. For example, if  somebody like to cook but dem force am to study law and person no like law, na so dem go dey do the work half-heartedly, and them no go fit do am well well. Infact, e fit make person dey depressed self. So na why I think say person supposed take time to do some soul searching and self reflection to find out wetin fit dey motivate dem. Also social media dey part of all this things wey we dey talk because I think say social media na both blessings and curse because e fit expose person to choose different career paths and idea and e fit make person dey compare themselves with others and comparison fit dey make person feel say dem no dey good enough, na why I think say person need to dey aware of the power of social media and how e dey affect us either positively or negatively.
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March 30, 2024, 01:13:03 PM
 #10

So partially I don't like the idea of going to university before one can make a good living, perhaps I came from a family where I'm obligated to become a lawyer with all means and this wish of my parent I cannot go against, and that I consider the worst ever advise I have ever gotten because practically becoming a lawyer is not part of my plan in life.

I'm a that kind of kid that doesn't like working for anyone, I like to be free man and that has been the goal but with what my parents wants from me it negates my own perception of life. But anyways, I got lucky enough to have a talk with them that I do not want to be what they want me to be, perhaps I'm getting old enough to begin to make decisions for myself and now luckily I have my sister's back up so I'm now studying a course out of my will no my parents.

My biggest problem with parents is the fact that they want you to become what they couldn't become in life. Thereby making you a continuation or extension of their own future which is absolutely inhumane to me.

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