The Paradox of the Addicted Gambler

[death69]

To “control” is to stay in the ring with the compulsion and trust you will not get knocked out. However, the brain (particularly the one that is wired to take risks) is not designed to negotiate in such a way. One would say that abstinence is effective because it eliminates the game board. No bet to lose. No maybe next time.

Consider it as a software bug. Moderation requires that you operate two conflicting programs simultaneously: the desire and the restraint. That split is exhausting. Endlessly running scripts, draining RAM. Abstinence, meanwhile, is a forced shutdown: no process, no conflict, no lag.

Things grow stranger. The person who’s quit is always suspected of secret weakness (“You had to stop? Cannot handle a little fun?”). That is projection. Quitting is the easy part. It is realizing that for some people, the line between "one more try" and "I lost everything" is not clear until later. Control is to those who never looked into the abyss.

[Fortify]

If someone has already accepted their gambling addiction and managed to stop gambling, it is synonymous with willpower.

But the paradox is that if you have the strength and conviction to stop gambling, anyone could come to the conclusion: "Why not just control it and that's it, without needing to quit gambling completely?".

Which brings us to this questions:

Is it harder to control gambling or limit it without falling into excess than to stop gambling forever?

Why is the effective strategy not moderation but absolute abstinence?

Humans are creatures of habit, they seek out and find comfort in routine. Those habits will have trigger points, like a smoker who will light up after food or a gambler who might pop into the bookies on the way home from work. When you break that routine, which you may have done for years, then you will have a subconscious pull to do them again as it provides that soothing regularity that the mind craves. It's great when some people have the willpower to break free, but it can also take many attempts and is not as easy as it seems. Some people may also be more predisposed to addiction than others, which makes it harder for them to break free.

[stompix]

That's not a paradox!
The paradox is that if they had the willpower to stop gambling, why did they actually start gambling as an addict in the first place?
It's not a paradox, as that would mean everyone that has stopped smoking, drinking, or eating junk food is experiencing a paradox, obviously not the case.

I said it a lot of times, people should stop treating gambling so philosophically. I mean, I know it's the end of the football season and quotas have to be done in some other topics, but apply a bit of moderation!

[fruktik]

If someone has already accepted their gambling addiction and managed to stop gambling, it is synonymous with willpower.

But the paradox is that if you have the strength and conviction to stop gambling, anyone could come to the conclusion: "Why not just control it and that's it, without needing to quit gambling completely?".

Which brings us to this questions:

Is it harder to control gambling or limit it without falling into excess than to stop gambling forever?

Why is the effective strategy not moderation but absolute abstinence?

No, you can't stop completely. Well, this is how it works for me personally. Naturally, I stopped spending the money that I can't afford to lose. At this stage, everything is balanced. That's how it seems to me. How does it look from the outside? I don't know. Now I rarely even increase the bet. I understand that this will clearly not lead to anything good and the pleasure of the game will become much shorter in time. So I had to find a compromise. This is important to me.

[Samlucky O]

But the paradox is that if you have the strength and conviction to stop gambling, anyone could come to the conclusion: "Why not just control it and that's it, without needing to quit gambling completely?".

Which brings us to this questions:

Is it harder to control gambling or limit it without falling into excess than to stop gambling forever?

Surely it is harder to stop gambling forever than to control it without falling into excess. Meaning it is even easier to control gambling an never get addicted and gradually stop forever, than wanting to stop forever at once which will be more difficult to achieve. Stopping gambling forever usually takes time, you will definitely be reducing the passion gradually until you stop it for good. That is why it is harder to stop gambling forever.

[joeperry]

Is it harder to control gambling or limit it without falling into excess than to stop gambling forever?

Yes, it's harder to control gambling or limit it than stopping it completely. For me it's simple, if you stop it completely it's more like you're a sober person but if you expose yourself to alcohol even in small portion, eventually you'll end up addicted to alcohol again. Stopping gambling is really hard but once you stop it, then you're free but if you just control it or even set limit, there will always a day that you want more and more then you'll lose it.

Though this is only my personal insight about this and not all people are the same, there are some people where limiting gambling works for them and some people stopping completely or overcoming gambling is they only key.

[Slow death]

Is it harder to control gambling or limit it without falling into excess than to stop gambling forever?

In my opinion, in both situations it is difficult for people who are addicted to gambling, when a person does not have a gambling addiction, he can easily stop gambling for some time and also easily stop gambling for good.

Why is the effective strategy not moderation but absolute abstinence?

because when people are addicted to gambling, they can only be cured when they stop gambling, for cases of people who do not have gambling problems or are not addicted to gambling, they can stop gambling for some time and come back whenever they want, it will not affect them negatively

[cryptomaniac_xxx]

If someone has already accepted their gambling addiction and managed to stop gambling, it is synonymous with willpower.

That is true, it's more on will power and self control.

But the paradox is that if you have the strength and conviction to stop gambling, anyone could come to the conclusion: "Why not just control it and that's it, without needing to quit gambling completely?".

That is wrong mindset though, the conclusion is that we should stop gambling  completely, specially if it has negative effect on you and your life. Like it's destroying the very essence of your existence.

And most likely this is the reason why they are gambling addicts who recover and then relapses because they think that they don't need to quit for good but control it. But as I have said, if there is a way to really stop for good then we should do it and not have this kind of thinking.

[Altryist]

If someone has already accepted their gambling addiction and managed to stop gambling, it is synonymous with willpower.

But the paradox is that if you have the strength and conviction to stop gambling, anyone could come to the conclusion: "Why not just control it and that's it, without needing to quit gambling completely?".

Which brings us to this questions:

Is it harder to control gambling or limit it without falling into excess than to stop gambling forever?

Why is the effective strategy not moderation but absolute abstinence?

I do not like extremes and I believe they are harmful in any form or situation, including gambling. A person who strictly limits themselves in something puts a lot of pressure on their potential, and this is much worse than moderate hobbies. I agree with what you are saying, that in gambling it is better to control yourself during the game rather than completely cut yourself off from it. In this case you will understand that you are capable of controlling it. But if you completely refuse and restrain yourself, first of all there is always a chance you might break down and start playing again, and secondly these restrictions show that you cannot do what you want, how you want and when you want.

[noviesol]

I used to be a problematic high roller, and every attempt to quit completely would work for a few weeks, until I started playing small stakes for fun again. Eventually, those small sessions always led me back to being a problematic high roller

Personally, I recommend quitting gambling entirely and avoiding it altogether. This works best for me because once I start playing, I find it hard to control myself. So, it's better not to start at all.

[Egii Nna]

If someone has already accepted their gambling addiction and managed to stop gambling, it is synonymous with willpower.

But the paradox is that if you have the strength and conviction to stop gambling, anyone could come to the conclusion: "Why not just control it and that's it, without needing to quit gambling completely?".

Which brings us to this questions:

Is it harder to control gambling or limit it without falling into excess than to stop gambling forever?

Why is the effective strategy not moderation but absolute abstinence?

One of the bitter truth is that it is actually harder to keep gamble a little than not gambling at all especially for someone that is already addicted.

Stopping gambling completely is like closing the door shut. It is clean, and simple: no gambling, ever again. But when you are trying to control gambling? It is just like leaving the door half way open and constantly fighting the urge to walk towards it. Every bet make the brain’s reward system arose more cravings, making it just a bit impossible over time. It is not all about will or power, it is about how the brain dopamine works.

Addiction is not a habit you manage; it is a system that take over your control. That is  why it is always advisable to abstinen completely so that it can ends the cycle, and gives you real freedom. Moderating it only keeps you in the fight while Abstinence sets totally you free.

[KiaKia]

I was mad with gambling when I was still new, we are humans and we tend to handle things differently, I got mad at a time and I quit, then I sat down and said to myself, where did I go wrong?

I risked a lot that I can't afford to lose, my first mistake, this was even the reason why I was in the position in the first place.

It's fine to quit gambling at first, maybe for a while, weeks or even months is fine and when your mind is healed you can come back with a better strategy, this time avoid feeling the same pain you first felt..

It all started with the Money you plan to risk, this is where the pain comes from, fix that and you will enjoy your time spent on gambling.

[danherbias07]

IMHO, it's more difficult to totally quit gambling. That means you will never gamble on anything, and even on sports, which for me is not a good thing. Sports betting adds a flavor while I watch the game, so I don't want it gone. Plus, I don't really bet that much, so it won't be a problem financially for me.

Although stopping the addiction to slots and casino games can be the best decision of our gambling life. As for me, I controlled it. I planned an amount that I will use in slots, and whatever happens, I will walk away if all the planned amount to gamble is gone. I think it's best if we can control it instead of quitting, because there's a chance that we are just fooling ourselves if we are quitting, and yet we cannot do it fully.

[Apocollapse]

Because they completely quit gambling in order to met social standard.

Social standard expect you're not a gambler because they think gamblers are not responsible people and like to wasting their money. Those people are HR, boss, family, and spouse. I've seen HR intentionally reject applications if they're a gambler.

If people see gambler and non gambler are the same, I think many people will stay become a responsible gambler instead of quit it completely.

[giammangiato]

As I already said in some posts some time ago, my strategy works, I am not a regular player and I play very little in economic terms.
When I lose that little I dedicate myself to something else, something that distracts me from the disappointment, because it is not so much how much you lose but the fact of losing that depresses you.
Taking control of your mind is a symptom of great willpower.

[Yaunfitda]

IMHO, it's more difficult to totally quit gambling. That means you will never gamble on anything, and even on sports, which for me is not a good thing. Sports betting adds a flavor while I watch the game, so I don't want it gone. Plus, I don't really bet that much, so it won't be a problem financially for me.

Just control ourselves would be the key here. And there is also this outside influence. If we live on a environment that it seems that gambling is a norm, then quitting is going to be very difficult. Unless you really put your heart in quitting your vices.

Although stopping the addiction to slots and casino games can be the best decision of our gambling life. As for me, I controlled it. I planned an amount that I will use in slots, and whatever happens, I will walk away if all the planned amount to gamble is gone. I think it's best if we can control it instead of quitting, because there's a chance that we are just fooling ourselves if we are quitting, and yet we cannot do it fully.

For me, it's better if we will just quit for good. If you haven't started gambling then don't do it as it will ruined your lives. We have heard countless stories of people of every race and color that was really Rekt when they gamble and thought that it was just for fun. Until they become addicted.

[Kelward]

Whether a former addict should quit gambling for good or learn how to gamble responsibly and continue depends on individuals. It comes down to discipline or self control, if a former addict that feels that he cannot control his gambling habit it is better to quit and move on, avoid coming near anything that has to do with gambling. On the other hand if a former addict can learn to control himself, have a budget for gambling and never chase loses again he can continue to gamble. I've heard gamblers who said that they were former addicts so it's possible for a rehabilitated gambler to continue gambling but it's not easy.

[mcdouglasx]

That's not a paradox!
The paradox is that if they had the willpower to stop gambling, why did they actually start gambling as an addict in the first place?
It's not a paradox, as that would mean everyone that has stopped smoking, drinking, or eating junk food is experiencing a paradox, obviously not the case.

I said it a lot of times, people should stop treating gambling so philosophically. I mean, I know it's the end of the football season and quotas have to be done in some other topics, but apply a bit of moderation!

If we're guided by the idea that a paradox is something that defies logic and intuition.

This is perfectly a paradox, since if someone can stop gambling, it can be intuited that you could maintain control of your gambling.

The paradox comes in when it's harder to maintain control of your gambling when you're an addict than to quit completely. Although many can quit, few, after becoming addicted, could moderate or correct their gambling habits without having completely distanced themselves from it first.

As for criticism, philosophizing has always been a useful tool in life as it encourages self-criticism, idea-building, and decision-making. And I think it's useful here, since it's a gambling area where there could be potential addicts. I think encouraging these topics is better for those people.

Now, putting it humorously, you posted about the arrival of Jesus. Let us philosophize.

Also, in my case, I have never needed to fill campaign quotas, in fact, I could almost always fill the quota twice.

[aioc]

 Is it harder to control gambling or limit it without falling into excess than to stop gambling forever?

Why is the effective strategy not moderation but absolute abstinence?

Because not all of us have a strong will that will make us moderate our gambling activity so the best option is abstinence and replacing our urges to gamble with other activities.
Moderation takes time to learn, and there are many hurdles to reach that level of control. I know a friend who developed control in gambling after losing a huge amount of money. It's a harrowing experience that he keeps remembering every time he is on a gambling platform, so he takes the best precautionary action.

[iv4n]

Which brings us to this questions:

Is it harder to control gambling or limit it without falling into excess than to stop gambling forever?

Why is the effective strategy not moderation but absolute abstinence?

Is it easier for you to climb to the top of a sequoia, bench press 300kg, or run a marathon?

Everyone likes something and is good at something, but not everyone is capable of everything... and some simply don't want to do certain things. Those who are fitter and stronger like to push the limits, and there are others who simply enjoy what they do without having to prove themselves to others.

You don't need the answers to these questions, nor the strategies you suggested... no one needs them. Don't overthink. Everyone needs to know themselves and listen to their body & mind (not necessarily in that order) and do what is best for them. There will be a lot of mistakes, but that's how it should be. That's how we learn from a young age: "To learn to run, you have to fall many times."