To have kids or not to? Your opinion from economy perspective

[Bigjoe33]

Same, but as I keep working hard and make myself well off, it drives me away to have kids because I keep thinking how to make my life better.

In my opinion, the minimum salary before you can have a baby is making at least 3x of minimum salary in your country. 1x minimum salary for one person, so the other 2x for a spouse and a baby.

But, with such amount you can only live minimum, you can't enjoy your life because you keep thinking to save money for your kids needs in the future. Either you or your spouse will want the best for your kids, hence you can't save money when you have a family.

Example you have $20,000 and your kids will enter school, you have two options: public school or private school. Public school is free, private school have 3 tiers, the lowest tier you need to spend $5,000 that cover everything, middle tier cost you $15,000 and the highest tier cost you $30,000.

People will choose the middle tier because they can afford rather than thinking to grow their wealth.

Not many people said this, personally I think marriage is a big scam.

Lol, like seriously, marriage a scam? I doubt.

Well it's a personal view and thought. But then, marriage is money consuming and one needs money to get into marriage, because I think money is greatly needed to handle responsibilities that come with marriage, ranging from your spouse and then children when they eventually start coming.

But looking at the average income and all that is involved in maintaining a family, how long do you need to wait to gather all this money? And you know, family has a continuous need. Is not like you get a particular amount and you are okay. It is a continuous demand, the more the years and growth, the more the demand increases.

In my own opinion, we can't get all the money or enough money. Once one has a considerable amount of money to meet up certain needs, and has a job that is bringing some amount of money, then one can get married. I believe, as one goes on, one can grow financially by seeking other source of income. Waiting for enough money to come before getting married might keep you away from marriage. Marriage is not a scam if you ask me

[Mahanton]

The important point is that we must be realistic, and I agree with you. This isn't to reject God's grace, but we must also prepare for it all. After all, we have to be responsible, right? From food, shelter, clothing, and so on.

I personally don't want to be a criminal to my own child. What I mean is, if we might not be ready for all of that, we can minimize it by not entering. Unless, for example, our economy is doing well and we have children, and then our situation turns sour, that would be a different story.

That is the point. We should not just take refuge in the blessings given by God and then forget our responsibilities towards our own children because, indirectly, when we cannot provide a decent life for our spouse and children, it is a form of crime against the blessings given by God.

This doesn't mean I disagree with having many children, as that is perfectly acceptable, but with the caveat that we are capable of providing a decent life. However, if we are still unable to fulfill this, it would be better to exercise restraint and focus on improving our economic situation.

The point is that we should not be selfish by hiding behind beautiful words, because life cannot only depend on that. Maybe we can be selfish towards ourselves, because the one who will bear the impact is ourselves. But in this case, if we are selfish then the one who will feel the impact is our little family, especially children.

I have learned a lot from divorce due to economic factors, and the victims are the children where they do not get the love of both parents. To me this is a form of evil that results from lack of preparation. Nowadays there is a lot of young marriage trends, I don't have a problem with that, but when I see them not having an income and still depending on their parents, I think it is a selfish act.

Being realistic in life doesn’t mean lacking faith it means using the wisdom and sense that god has already given us faith without preparation or responsibility is just wishful thinking every blessing we receive comes with a duty to protect and nurture it and that includes our family when people say god will provide they often forget that god’s provision can come through our own efforts discipline and planning we are meant to work for the stability of those we love not just hope everything falls into place. Bringing children into the world is a huge responsibility it’s not enough to want them out of love we must also make sure we can feed clothe and educate them otherwise we risk putting them through unnecessary hardship being unable to provide for them doesn’t make someone evil but refusing to prepare before having them does show selfishness because it means ignoring the reality of how tough life can be when you’re unprepared.

You’re right about seeing families fall apart due to financial problems when parents constantly argue about money the children are the ones who suffer the most they don’t just lose comfort they lose peace of mind and security and that can leave lasting emotional scars divorce caused by economic struggles often begins with lack of planning and the belief that love alone will sustain everything. Many young couples today rush into marriage thinking that feelings alone are enough but love without stability is fragile it can easily break under pressure it’s not wrong to marry young but there should be a clear sense of responsibility both emotionally and financially being dependent on parents after marriage or bringing children into such a situation is not fair to anyone involved.

[reefsea]

That is the point. We should not just take refuge in the blessings given by God and then forget our responsibilities towards our own children because, indirectly, when we cannot provide a decent life for our spouse and children, it is a form of crime against the blessings given by God.

This doesn't mean I disagree with having many children, as that is perfectly acceptable, but with the caveat that we are capable of providing a decent life. However, if we are still unable to fulfill this, it would be better to exercise restraint and focus on improving our economic situation.

The point is that we should not be selfish by hiding behind beautiful words, because life cannot only depend on that. Maybe we can be selfish towards ourselves, because the one who will bear the impact is ourselves. But in this case, if we are selfish then the one who will feel the impact is our little family, especially children.

I have learned a lot from divorce due to economic factors, and the victims are the children where they do not get the love of both parents. To me this is a form of evil that results from lack of preparation. Nowadays there is a lot of young marriage trends, I don't have a problem with that, but when I see them not having an income and still depending on their parents, I think it is a selfish act.

Mentality becomes a reference here because after all, when we already have a partner and offspring, this will indirectly make us required to be more mature in seeing things, including in terms of economy and responsibility, especially when we become men.

What you mentioned is true because in the end not a few children can become broken homes just because the parents are not ready to have children but always take refuge with the sweet words of blessings from God.
Children can be a blessing if indeed we are able to support and provide the best facilities for them but when we still cannot be able to do this then in the end such conditions will only torment, apart from tormenting our mentality as parents who might be said to have failed this will also torment the child to be miserable when they are born into the mentality of parents who are not ready in terms of morally and materially.

[Antotena]

giving birth/ have kids is good but do that at your own convenience,don't give birth to kids you won't be able to take care of.most kid's from homes where they where not properly taken care of,are the once causing societal problems today.


 governments of all countries should put laws in place bounding people from giving birth to more than one or two kids, unless you're financially stable or capable to take of more than two kids .and promises your kids will not become a nuisance in society.children are gifts from God but without the right and stable upbringing the kids become trouble to society and this is most times caused by the parents which were not financially ready to have kids.

Another thing that is not talk about is having kids because people pressure you, that's very wrong. If you want are willing to make babies because society is forcing you then you are indirectly putting yourself into problems. By the time you are face with life challenges, all of them will be no where to be found by that time. Do your thing when you know you are convenient and ready but at the same time, I don't like the idea that someone will stay till they leave the earth without a child.

It doesn't make any sense to leave the surface of the earth and you don't have something attached to you and be remember. When you die and you don't have kids, your generation is going to be forgotten easily but by the time you have an heir, you have mark a living thing on this earth that is gong to multiply in many fold, your blood line is going to continue until the day this world comes to and end, your generation will be remembered on earth for their contribution to life and humanity.

[Queen uloma]

What title says,

unless one is well off himself one should not be having kids, this is my opinion.

What about you?

Same but, many people have this sentiment mindset especially with the way things have become expensive and with the way life has become unpredictable,
‎Being financially stable is very important before having children or before getting married,
‎Having all is not just the only way but be responsible and prepared financially, mentally, emotionally, to provide a better environment,  you don't necessarily need to have all, but at least have something that will fetch you money steady for the well-being of the children, and have a good mindset for parenting,
‎So I agreed that being financially stable is very important before having children but  it is not a must that you must be rich before being a good parent,  what really matter is being responsible as long as you can provide love, direct and provide a  comfortable home that's a strong foundation so it is not all about having all, but it's about how prepared you are.
‎

[libert19]

...It doesn't make any sense to leave the surface of the earth and you don't have something attached to you and be remember. When you die and you don't have kids, your generation is going to be forgotten easily but by the time you have an heir, you have mark a living thing on this earth that is gong to multiply in many fold, your blood line is going to continue until the day this world comes to and end, your generation will be remembered on earth for their contribution to life and humanity.

I didn't have a good laugh today, but after reading this I had a good one, thanks man.

...and I'd like to give my 2 satoshi on this last part of yours (I am really sorry for quoting twice).

...your generation will be remembered on earth for their contribution to life and humanity.

Meh.

PS: I was going to write a para arguing on this but then 'meh' sounded a proper response, and I apologize in advance if that wasn't worth 2 satoshis.

[dunfida]

giving birth/ have kids is good but do that at your own convenience,don't give birth to kids you won't be able to take care of.most kid's from homes where they where not properly taken care of,are the once causing societal problems today.


 governments of all countries should put laws in place bounding people from giving birth to more than one or two kids, unless you're financially stable or capable to take of more than two kids .and promises your kids will not become a nuisance in society.children are gifts from God but without the right and stable upbringing the kids become trouble to society and this is most times caused by the parents which were not financially ready to have kids.

Another thing that is not talk about is having kids because people pressure you, that's very wrong. If you want are willing to make babies because society is forcing you then you are indirectly putting yourself into problems. By the time you are face with life challenges, all of them will be no where to be found by that time. Do your thing when you know you are convenient and ready but at the same time, I don't like the idea that someone will stay till they leave the earth without a child.

It doesn't make any sense to leave the surface of the earth and you don't have something attached to you and be remember. When you die and you don't have kids, your generation is going to be forgotten easily but by the time you have an heir, you have mark a living thing on this earth that is gong to multiply in many fold, your blood line is going to continue until the day this world comes to and end, your generation will be remembered on earth for their contribution to life and humanity.

Bringing a child into the world is a big responsibility and not something to be done just to please others or meet social expectations many people underestimate what it really takes to raise a child properly it’s not only about food or shelter but emotional stability time patience and love if parents are not financially or mentally ready it often leads to problems that affect both the child and the society around them children who grow up without proper care often struggle with identity confidence and behavior later in life.

The idea of regulating birth might sound strict but the main point here is awareness people should understand that having a child is a lifetime commitment not a seasonal decision forcing parenthood out of pressure or tradition can lead to frustration and neglect it’s better to have fewer children and raise them well than to have many and struggle to meet their basic needs. Still having kids is a natural desire and part of the human cycle everyone wants to be remembered and to leave something behind but that legacy doesn’t have to come at the cost of suffering for the next generation the real legacy is raising a child who grows to be kind responsible and useful to society if that can’t be guaranteed right now then waiting until one is ready is the wiser choice.

[Muba20]

This awareness must grow within ourselves before deciding to have children. Never rely on others, because we will ultimately be the ones to suffer the consequences of our decisions.
These days, many people are reckless in deciding to have children, ultimately burdening themselves by working harder to meet all their needs. So, I believe we must take wise steps before deciding to have children, and we must prepare early. We must also realize that having children will cost a lot of money, so savings and investments are things that must be prepared early.

Everything should not be judged by emotions. If one do not have financial capacity, then having a child will further worsen his financial situation. In my opinion, one should definitely observe well before taking a decision. When a child joins your family, it will cost a lot to grow up. There are many instances where after having a child, one cannot take good care of that child. That child cannot grow properly. Everyone should consider the situation before having a child, but it should be considered properly before taking it. Again, this shouldn't be considered too difficult.

[BigBos]

The point is that we should not be selfish by hiding behind beautiful words, because life cannot only depend on that. Maybe we can be selfish towards ourselves, because the one who will bear the impact is ourselves. But in this case, if we are selfish then the one who will feel the impact is our little family, especially children.

I have learned a lot from divorce due to economic factors, and the victims are the children where they do not get the love of both parents. To me this is a form of evil that results from lack of preparation. Nowadays there is a lot of young marriage trends, I don't have a problem with that, but when I see them not having an income and still depending on their parents, I think it is a selfish act.

Being realistic in life doesn’t mean lacking faith it means using the wisdom and sense that god has already

That's right, we should be separating the realistic and the faithful, not conflating them. Thinking more realistically doesn't mean we don't have faith and this is something that still lingers in the minds of our parents where when we try to explain they judge us with words that clash between realism and faith such as, “when I say that, it means I don't believe in God's will”.

It's incredible that when we try to explain we are judged like that.

What you mentioned is true because in the end not a few children can become broken homes just because the parents are not ready to have children but always take refuge with the sweet words of blessings from God.

This is what should be considered, is abandoning children because of what we are talking about not an injustice?

To say fully prepared, I don't think there are or are very rare to find people who are fully prepared. But at least we have prepared well, after all we should also be able to learn from what we see or maybe even be able to ask directly about how home life is.

[summonerrk]

Yesterday I visited a friend of mine who has children, and he was very tired and complained to me that having children is incredibly expensive these days, while government assistance is minimal. The government pays benefits, but no one can survive on that because it's so little.
Even though the advertisements portray it as if having children is practically an easy way to make money, in reality, it's an utterly delusional idea and a financial trap.

[libert19]

Yesterday I visited a friend of mine who has children, and he was very tired and complained to me that having children is incredibly expensive these days, while government assistance is minimal. The government pays benefits, but no one can survive on that because it's so little.

I also have a friend who had a kid couple years back, and I can also see the tiredness on his face, and there is no government assistance here.

Even though the advertisements portray it as if having children is practically an easy way to make money, in reality, it's an utterly delusional idea and a financial trap.

Can you link such an ad where children are portrayed as a way to make money? I have never seen such.

[summonerrk]

Yesterday I visited a friend of mine who has children, and he was very tired and complained to me that having children is incredibly expensive these days, while government assistance is minimal. The government pays benefits, but no one can survive on that because it's so little.

I also have a friend who had a kid couple years back, and I can also see the tiredness on his face, and there is no government assistance here.

Even though the advertisements portray it as if having children is practically an easy way to make money, in reality, it's an utterly delusional idea and a financial trap.

Can you link such an ad where children are portrayed as a way to make money? I have never seen such.

What I meant was that the government won't tell you directly that receiving large sums of money for having more children is the primary goal for many, but many greedy parents view these sums from the government as a great supplement to the family budget, and so they are always overjoyed when the maternity capital (here called maternity capital) given for having more children increases with the indexation rate. I hope you understand what I meant. It would be better if the government didn't give money for having children at all (because if someone sincerely wants to have a child, they don't think about financial assistance from the government), but rather provided good salaries for the country's residents, so that future families could have peace of mind.

[Erumo]

Even though the advertisements portray it as if having children is practically an easy way to make money, in reality, it's an utterly delusional idea and a financial trap.

Can you link such an ad where children are portrayed as a way to make money? I have never seen such.

https://www.tiktok.com/@hxydnnnn/video/7332768431235812641

[Localhostspeed]

Yesterday I visited a friend of mine who has children, and he was very tired and complained to me that having children is incredibly expensive these days, while government assistance is minimal. The government pays benefits, but no one can survive on that because it's so little.
Even though the advertisements portray it as if having children is practically an easy way to make money, in reality, it's an utterly delusional idea and a financial trap.

I'm not sure if this problem is a general one but I notice many parents deprive their self many things just to be able to provide everything they need for their children, it's not like they are not making enough just that the children responsibility takes away everything from them and you wonder if it's right steo to have kids because it seems many parents are happy on their faces but inside, they wish they can go back in time and never have kids.

When I see parents with 8 and more, u begin to question myself how were they able to have xxx with each other and comfortably born this children. What happen to family planing, why not close the eggs if both have high libido. I don't know the best way to put it but it's a big mistake to have plenty of kids. Why not go got one or two kids and live your life, having many of them doesn't guarantee anything, not I have seen from different religious believers, it's sometimes make family separate due to no cooperation from them.

[libert19]

...

...

What I meant was that the government won't tell you directly that receiving large sums of money for having more children is the primary goal for many, but many greedy parents view these sums from the government as a great supplement to the family budget, and so they are always overjoyed when the maternity capital (here called maternity capital) given for having more children increases with the indexation rate. I hope you understand what I meant.

I do understand. Thanks.

It would be better if the government didn't give money for having children at all (because if someone sincerely wants to have a child, they don't think about financial assistance from the government), but rather provided good salaries for the country's residents, so that future families could have peace of mind.

I am all in that, also it would be better if govs give benefits to those people who have less number of kids (or none) than more; imagine people not procreating, so they can get more benefits, this will also make people who really want child have 'em.

Also, I would like to clarify that earlier I said, "no government benefits here" but there are actually, although these benefits are not monetary, here gov gives food grains, the more kids you have, the more ration you get — ration is given per person.

Even though the advertisements portray it as if having children is practically an easy way to make money, in reality, it's an utterly delusional idea and a financial trap.

Can you link such an ad where children are portrayed as a way to make money? I have never seen such.

~~image cut~~
https://www.tiktok.com/@hxydnnnn/video/7332768431235812641

I didn't get it, but all of them could be a dancer it looks like.

...

I'm not sure if this problem is a general one but I notice many parents deprive their self many things just to be able to provide everything they need for their children, it's not like they are not making enough just that the children responsibility takes away everything from them and you wonder if it's right steo to have kids because it seems many parents are happy on their faces but inside, they wish they can go back in time and never have kids.

You should checkout the r/regretfulparents.