How to tell if you are eating enough bacon

[jvanname]

Did you know that most people are not eating enough bacon? But there is a very easy way to tell if you are getting enough bacon or not. What you need to do is first cook bacon. After you cook the bacon, you will need to eat the bacon. Then collect the bacon grease in a jar. Repeat this process until the jar is full of grease. Then you have enough grease to make a candle. You then need to light your bacon grease candle. Your candle should be considered as a bacon clock. Continually cook and eat bacon and then fill your jar with more grease. And try to keep your bacon candle lit as much as safely possible. If your bacon candle runs out of bacon grease, that means that you need to eat more bacon. If your jar is too full and your candle cannot burn the grease fast enough, that means you are eating too much bacon and should cut back.

If you do not want to eat that much bacon, you are free to use beef tallow instead or mix your bacon grease with your beef tallow.

Disclaimer: This is not medical advice. Do this at your own risk.

Other disclaimer: This message is not sponsored by any bacon companies.

Regards,

-Joseph Van Name Ph.D. (Mathematics)

[BADecker]

What's the best way to 'cook' your bacon? Boil it in water? Fry it? Bake it? Something else? Broil it?

[jvanname]

What's the best way to 'cook' your bacon? Boil it in water? Fry it? Bake it? Something else? Broil it?

Just cook it the normal way. Fry it. Cover it with a lid so you don't make a mess and make everything smell. Don't boil it. Or if you do, just do it out of curiosity, and don't assume that it will taste good.

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-Joseph Van Name Ph.D.