Leave my coins, you greedy little thief

This kind of response is the only correct one. Theft is theft no matter what the circumstance is or what addresses we select here. Bitcoin is digital property, and even if keys are possibly lost it is still theft. We can never mathematically prove that somebody's keys are lost. So whether the idea is to steal from old holders, new holders, satoshi or whoever it still remains theft and should never be condoned!
There's nothing as sweet as getting something free of charge, without putting in much work for it, especially when it comes to money. Imagine it's the Op that has funds in the network, I bet you we won't hear of this ridiculous proposal. Some people just look for crafty methods to get people to engage in their absurd threads.
We know all too well how this works out with gamblers, lottery winners or even airdrop farmers. If they get too much value for the work that they put in, they do all kinds of bad things with the money. Most waste most of it into nothing smart, and that is what would happen in this case.
I consider such a proposal to be complete nonsense. First of all, it looks like an encroachment on someone else's property, covered up with good intentions ("so that the market does not collapse"), based on a controversial basis ("lost property or orphan property is considered escheated property").
That is exactly what it is!
However, nothing prevents the initiator of this idea from renting tens of thousands of video cards for years and hacking the private keys to these addresses in order to redistribute funds as he sees fit. Another question is what the price of this will be (that's the essence of cryptographic protection) and how legitimate the United States government will consider it, for example...
Well that would not lead to anything so it would be a mistake to even try this. Very few people would try it, but they don't understand the numbers that are involved in something like this.