thanks for the good advice G, i didn't know it was my client "remembering" the others about the transaction.
I should state that i used the android wallet to create that transaction, i don't personally have the ability to modify code like that, i wish.
I will do a reset on the damn thing and hope i get my coins back though.
Ah! Please nag the authors of that software to implement the same anti-dos fee rules as are in the reference client. The rules in the client are there to protect the client from the network not processing it's transactions. Your experience is an example of this— sometimes people miss the importance of it simply because so few txn hit the mandatory fee rules (though subcent output ones always do).
I don't know what the resend policy is for that client. In the reference client it will remember transactions forever that it was a party to (which I'm sure the android one does too), and it will rebroadcast them after a random delay with a maximum of 30 minutes every time a block has been solved since the last rebroadcast without including them.