Este Nuno
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amarha
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June 08, 2015, 04:31:52 PM |
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This is from slack #general and will hopefully answer some questions:
(I'm assuming this is ok to post since it's all in a public channel. If someone wants to take it down let me know.)
markpfennig: Hi @androidicus, good to see you.
[21:26] markpfennig: also @emdje, hello
[21:26] emdje: Hi @markpfennig how is your situation, a little better? (edited)
[21:27] emdje: we heared that both you and leathan are in a tough spot
[21:27] markpfennig: It's looking positive. I believe Victor and Nele have been forwarding updates as to my status, perhaps best if I give a quick overview to clarify and confirm.
[21:27] markpfennig: I haven't heard of leathan's difficulties yet, hope to speak to him soon.
[21:27] emdje: His internet is flaky so he will be on and off
[21:28] emdje: But how is your internet, because if I understood correctly you finished MUWA and just needed internet to upload it? At least that is the message that came trough
[21:30] markpfennig: As for myself, yes somewhat. I split with my partner and moved in to homeless accommodation, then elance through a spanner in the works and limited both my and a clients accounts, blocking access for me to accept new jobs, receive payments, and access money already paid. So I've been in a limbo situation for the past couple of weeks, right at the most critical time.
I've had limited internet access, in he public library, you can "lease" sessions on computers for an hour at a time, and the connection is limited to only http/https port being open. No internet cafes, no plces with hotdesks to work from - it's been quite surprising how backwards the town I'm staying in is actually.
[21:31] markpfennig: The more positive news, is that I've had an office on hold for me for a couple of weeks that just needed paid, and my clients and I have worked out a way for them to pay me direct which means I can get in and working from the middle of this week, which is a huge relief.
[21:32] emdje: I can imagine that is a relief
[21:32] emdje: But can you confirm that MUWA is finished?
[21:32] emdje: (no disrespect to your situation and the shittyness of that)
[21:32] markpfennig: Indeed MUWA is done, to a fault, in that I finished it off offline, and am aware there will be some mistakes and faults when it's ran for the first time. once I'm in to the office and settled, I'll have some spare time each day where I can work on crypto things dring the week, and get it uploaded and working, then take steps forward from there.
[21:33] markpfennig: It's fine @emdje, it's long overdue, and I'm very aware that my own mistakes and circumstances have had negative knock on effects on the community here, for which I'm deeply sorry.
[21:35] emdje: Make sure that when you have the opportunity to upload it, even when it is not finished and not working, it would really boost morale :simple_smile:
[21:35] markpfennig: In respect to that, I've been working with a counsellor/psychologist over the past few weeks, and feel I've got to the root causes of my own personal issues, and resolved them mentally. I'm in a much better place mentally and very positive for the future, just waiting for my situation to catch up, and positive steps made to show have some impact!
[21:35] emdje: good to hear
[21:36] pabloangello: hello markpfennig :simple_smile:
[21:36] pabloangello: I had a feeling :smile:
[21:37] markpfennig: @emdje I will, the community here really needs a boost and some stability, which I promise I will provide along with others. Trying very hard to reverse the negative steps and work backwards to bring every aspect of life back to a good place. Bitmark included.
[21:37] markpfennig: Two things I do need to say
[21:38] markpfennig: 1) I have been online and checking in near daily, and certainly daily the past week or so - I should have done that here too, and will from now on, rather than having middle men forward status.
[21:40] markpfennig: 2) I did manage to fuck up quite a few areas of my life, and am balancing time to put them all back in order. It will be a slow progress to put Bitmark right, but hopefully it'll build momentum along the way. Trying to say that it'll be impossible for me to be here full time on the project, but I will do check in each day, with either something positive, or just a quick touch base to say "on other things today, but here for questions if anybody needs me"
[21:41] emdje: I think that is quite reasonable
[21:41] emdje: Just make sure to stay in communication
[21:42] markpfennig: It's all I can do! finding that straight transparent communication is really helping move forward, and to avoid my previous pitfalls.
[21:42] markpfennig: I can shed some light on that if it would help?
[21:42] markpfennig: I'll say it anyway, it may help others
[21:42] androidicus: @markpfennig: speaking as someone who has, over the years, fucked up many areas and periods of my life - :tipshat: to you and I empathise entirely - the hugely positive thing is to see you here, now, and 'speaking' with determination to move forward... (edited)
[21:47] markpfennig: full background context (thanks to Stephen my Psychologist for helping get to the root of this one!):
I've had a problem with lying, not all my life, but getting worse for a few years. Tracing it back we managed to figure out that early on in my relationship with my wife (she'd had a bad life previously) I'd tried to take on a night in shining armour role with her. Part of that meant, that if something negative happened or I made a mistake, that I felt I could fix without her having to know or worry about, that I'd just get on and fix whatever it was. After that working several times it developed in to a pattern.
The problem was that when the fix didn't work out, I'd then withheld the truth, which could lead to a lie, then perhaps another and so forth, making a small negative thing in to a big negative and personal issue, with implications on trust and all sorts of things. Over time, this spilled in to other areas of my life, and led ultimately to the mess here.
99% of it was effect, the cause, was not just instantly sharing bad news or mistakes, combined with underestimating her ability to cope with any negative things.
[21:48] markpfennig: So by addressing that, saying exact status all the time in all aspects of life, prevents that cycle of withholding truth which leads to lying. It's something I've implemented, and to be honest has had an amazing change on all fronts. It threw me for about a week afterward just seeing how such a small change could have such huge effects.
[21:48] markpfennig: @androidicus: very determined to move forward - and very glad to see many still here.
[21:49] markpfennig: I must give a huge thanks to you all, with some special thanks to victor, nele, bates and some others who have all been a huge help and support through this time.
[21:54] androidicus: I think that there are many still here is testament to the quality and potential that was envisioned at the project's genesis and in the halcyonic early days brimming with ideas and innovation. That so many have maintained faith in the project and in spite of much angst, frustration, and even ill-will; there has been amongst many an unerring belief that 'something' would happen, given time...
[21:55] emdje: I think it is very brave of you to open yourself up like this (don't know if this is proper english :stuck_out_tongue: )
[21:55] androidicus: Perfect emdje!
[22:01] markpfennig: It helps to be able to see the former mistakes with clarity. They led to a lot of negativity. countless times.
[22:02] markpfennig: Melvin often said, I was one of the flakiest guys he knows, but if I do even 1% of what's suggested it'll be great.
[22:02] markpfennig: The flakyness, and all bad perceptions, stemmed from these faults, and were compounded by some other factors.
[22:03] markpfennig: For example, I'd struggle with a little something in some code, and just say "yes a couple of things left and it'll be up in 2 days" (hiding the truth, choosing that I'd just fix it and all would be good) the root of the mistakes.
[22:04] markpfennig: Then something else would go wrong in a different, often stemming from the same causes, I'd miss the 2 day deadlines I'd set myself, lie to cover it up or make an excuse, and repeat
[22:05] markpfennig: Compounding this, were the effects it had at home. Also even just working from home, my family felt I was always on the computer, and I felt I was always interrupted. led to 16 hour days where only a couple of them were put to good use, and the rest fire fighting or switching between things, negative tie with family
[22:05] markpfennig: repeat that long enough and you end up in a huge mess
[22:05] markpfennig: all those issues are resolved a the core now, all aspects of life will improve "enough" as a knock on effect
[22:06] markpfennig: and hopefully we can get back to "halcyonic early days brimming with ideas and innovation" as @androidicus said
[22:06] androidicus:
>always on the computer
Now, where have I heard that said... I wonder...
[22:06] markpfennig: indeed, and feeling like always fire fighting things.
[22:08] markpfennig: looking forward to having that clear separation between work and other aspects of life. My PC will be in the office, when I walk in their dedicated work time with no distractions. When I leave it's gone until the next day with dedicated personal / family time (as that front improves)
[22:08] markpfennig: @batesresearch: is organizing a 3g/4g device for me until I can get one myself, so I'll soon have comms outside of office hours. 'll be able to discuss things, but not do anything about them till the following day. (edited)
[22:09] androidicus: It's all sounding good... the separation aspect ~ work/life balance ~ is key
[22:09] emdje: Good to keep it structure and clear to everyone
[22:10] markpfennig: +1 to you both.
[22:10] markpfennig: I have about 5 minutes remaining, so need to close up conversations.
[22:11] markpfennig: I'll check in each working day from here though, whatever the circumstance.
[22:11] androidicus: @markpfennig: In short then, great to see you here and +10 for ALL updates - take care :simple_smile:
[22:12] markpfennig: Thanks!
[22:14] markpfennig: Quickly clarify personal circumstance: Office ready mid week. Personally I'm 2 weeks behind and have access to zero funds. I'm going to be doing ~20 hours on the work I'm behind with for the next 2 weeks, and 20 hours on a new job to keep some earning coming in. I do have funds I just can't access them until elance verify my clients account, hopefully this week. Expect slow but steady progress over the next two weeks, with me caught up and moving forward properly 13 days from now. I will be online a little each day, and priority on spare time is for muwa to be up and working.
[22:14] markpfennig: okay, tc, speak tomorrow
[22:14] androidicus: :tipshat:
[22:16] emdje: thanks mark for the explanation, again kudos for opening up
[22:18] coinecollector: Lol. Shakeout people for cheap coins then return. Scam scam scam
[22:26] coinecollector: @markpfennig your false promises have cost people alot of money. People that would happily help out with your financial problems (if true) had you only been honest. Hope it's feels good
[22:37] androidicus: @coinecollector: you may well be right; only time will tell. For my part, and it is only my opinion, having lost money when coinex disappeared, and when mywl.it disappeared - neither of those actors showed their faces again...
[22:37] markpfennig: @coinecollector: I understand your frustration, and how it can seem like that. However through being transparent and open for a while now, I have had every detail of everything I've said completely verified by multiple parties, who would be quick to correct should I say anything false here.
[22:38] androidicus: I have been involved since about page 10 of the BCT thread and have a genuine belief that Mark/Nathan is not out to scam anyone
[22:39] markpfennig: I'll need to follow on tomorrow. @medic and @neleonele and @batesresearch no every single detail and have verified them, feel free to confirm anything
[22:39] markpfennig: no/know
[22:39] androidicus: That he is here at all and attempting to face his demons is good enough for me right now
[22:40] neleonele: Woohoo,mark is here...
[22:40] neleonele: welcome back Nathan!
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