$1000 loan so I can challenge Randi - $500,000 return

[dank]

I want to take on Randi's challenge.  I have defied the laws of physics before, multiple times, I believe I can do it again.

http://www.randi.org/site/index.php/1m-challenge.html

I have experienced conscious levitation on two instances, I have seen with my eyes closed on two instances.  I have remote viewed on one instance.  I have held back pieces of clouds from moving and got my friends to do the same.

I have seen a multidimensional (physical) shapeshifter.  My friend has levitated once.  And I have seen a lamp jump off a table with no one around it.

The $1000 will go towards spiritual tools to assist me during the preliminary run and the final test.  I will be fasting for 42 days so I'm sure my state of mind will be suitable.  I will either levitate or see with my eyes closed.

Powers truly should not be used to earn money.  But because of the potential it has to make a difference in other's lives, I feel the positives outweigh the negative aspects.  The money will not be used to appease personal egotistical and materialistic desires, but rather to help change lives of others.

In fact, I do not think I want $500,000 even, so I would say let me have the first $10,000 payment, then you can have the rest of the $990,000.

Anybody want to test their faith?

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[CryptoKilla]

It doesn't count if you are under the influence of LSD...

[Tomatocage]

I want to take on Randi's challenge.  I have defied the laws of physics before, multiple times, I believe I can do it again.

If only you'd stop defying the laws of heterosexuality.

[dank]

It doesn't count if you are under the influence of LSD...

Why wouldn't it?  Unless.. there is something to psychedelics?

[Vod]

Excellent idea donkey!

Sell $1,000 of your $8,000 worth of property, and do it!

You don't need a loan.

[rulesyQ]

Just a heads up dank, you probably shouldn't talk about being "able to do" whatever the fuck it is you that you "do", on acid.

The JREF has spent valuable time and resources investigating claims that were submitted by people who were obviously suffering from a mental ailment. These people need medical help, not encouragement. By requiring media presence, the JREF ensures that only those people who make an impact on society will be tested, and the individuals who are mentally ill receive no encouragement to continue their delusions.

What should I do before I apply?

See a physician for a physical and mental workup to ensure you are up to the task of taking the Challenge. Some of the people who apply for the Challenge are mentally ill, and this is a point that has the potential to be examined during the application process. Tell your physician about your paranormal ability and get their feedback as well.

Test your power at home, in a controlled setting like the one described in your protocol. Bring along skeptics, too. It is best to be able to demonstrate your ability reliably before you apply.

Keep in mind that if you cannot reliably perform your claim on command, it will be difficult to perform during the Challenge test.

Jot down lots of notes regarding “hits” and “misses” to make sure you aren’t retrospectively improving your results.

[haploid23]

Sigh... yet another thread asking for money. Dank is nothing but a beggar.

Dank, with all your divine powers, why don't you make money from thin air? Even us mortals can print money, why can't a god like you do that as well? You're more likely to get money when you admit it's to feed your drug habits than you would from these excuses.

[Killerloop]

Sigh... yet another thread asking for money. Dank is nothing but a beggar.

Please do not discriminate beggars comparing them to Donkey. They at least have dignity.

[cooldgamer]

So what are the spiritual supplies? I'm guessing a vial of LSD, a pound of Cannabis, an entire Mescaline filled cactus, a buddha statue, incense sticks, and a few psychedelic CDs.

You're making me drool... but seriously, it doesn't count as flying if you're only flying in your trip Dank

[cooldgamer]

So what are the spiritual supplies? I'm guessing a vial of LSD, a pound of Cannabis, an entire Mescaline filled cactus, a buddha statue, incense sticks, and a few psychedelic CDs.

You're making me drool... but seriously, it doesn't count as flying if you're only flying in your trip Dank

Yeah he says "seeing with his eyes closed" counts as paranormal in the OP. Almost anyone gets hallucinations with their eyes closed even without drugs. With drugs you can believe you're in orbit around Saturn with your eyes open, or perhaps you'll have a conversation with the lizard king, but that doesn't count as paranormal.

Can verify, the lizard king says hi

[dank]

Sigh... yet another thread asking for money. Dank is nothing but a beggar.

Dank, with all your divine powers, why don't you make money from thin air? Even us mortals can print money, why can't a god like you do that as well? You're more likely to get money when you admit it's to feed your drug habits than you would from these excuses.

It is completely disgraceful to associate any of my powers with money.

So what are the spiritual supplies? I'm guessing a vial of LSD, a pound of Cannabis, an entire Mescaline filled cactus, a buddha statue, incense sticks, a few psychedelic CDs, and a gallon of Ayahuasca.

Thank you for making me laugh friend. 

So what are the spiritual supplies? I'm guessing a vial of LSD, a pound of Cannabis, an entire Mescaline filled cactus, a buddha statue, incense sticks, and a few psychedelic CDs.

You're making me drool... but seriously, it doesn't count as flying if you're only flying in your trip Dank

Yeah he says "seeing with his eyes closed" counts as paranormal in the OP. Almost anyone gets hallucinations with their eyes closed even without drugs. With drugs you can believe you're in orbit around Saturn with your eyes open, or perhaps you'll have a conversation with the lizard king, but that doesn't count as paranormal.

I mean seeing physical objects around me, in this reality.

[haploid23]

Dank, with all your divine powers, why don't you make money from thin air? Even us mortals can print money, why can't a god like you do that as well? You're more likely to get money when you admit it's to feed your drug habits than you would from these excuses.

It is completely disgraceful to associate any of my powers with money.

But yet you continue begging for some. That's rather disgraceful, seeing how you're a divine being, no? How hypocritical is it to ask us to provide you with money, the money that we slave ourselves to earn, so that you can benefit.

[dank]

In regards to this, nevermind the application is completely ridiculous.  No drug use.  As if drugs somehow lower the validity of something happening.

This whole challenge is just a big screaming "I can't and don't want to accept anything than what I previously knew"

They require you to have been on TV or have some big article on you for it to actually count.

The real psychics don't stoop their selves to such a level.

Well, anyways, if anyone wants to give me $1000, I will levitate for you and teach you how to do anything with your mind.

Maybe you'l levitate too, dunno.

[haploid23]

Well before you offer service of teaching people to levitate, please do so yourself on video. Once you do this, I will give you (let you keep, not loan) 100 fold the amount you're asking. That will allow you to buy an unimaginable amount LSD, something your divine powers can't even do.

[Krabby]

In regards to this, nevermind the application is completely ridiculous.  No drug use.  As if drugs somehow lower the validity of something happening.

This whole challenge is just a big screaming "I can't and don't want to accept anything than what I previously knew"

They require you to have been on TV or have some big article on you for it to actually count.

The real psychics don't stoop their selves to such a level.

Well, anyways, if anyone wants to give me $1000, I will levitate for you and teach you how to do anything with your mind.

Maybe you'l levitate too, dunno.

If you can prove that you can levitate and teach me the ways I will give you my life's savings.
What do you say?

[cooldgamer]

I mean seeing physical objects around me, in this reality.

Cool, if you can 100% pass Zener Card tests then you'll be a celebrity and never need money!

[dank]

At this time, for me to fully levitate my body one of the two needs to happen: I take an extraordinary dose of psychedelics, or, someone will try to kill me which will propel me to levitate from the energy of their hate.

For anyone that tries to kill me is only proving my reality correct.  Neo is born.

The former will happen.  The prior, well that's up to you.

[Krabby]

So I can either send you 10kg of LSD or come knocking on your door* with a bloody axe?

*[citation needed]

[jonald_fyookball]

I'm disappointed Dank.

Yesterday, I thought you were on the right track,
done with the begging and starting
to build real value by writing a book.

And here you are back to your old
ways already, soliciting loans again.

This pattern seems to serve a dual
purpose...there's the slight chance someone
actually gives you money that you just admitted
will be used to buy drugs ...but I think
you're smart enough to realize that probably
won't happen, so then the other reason is
that it's attention seeking behavior.

In this case you can also say "I didn't get
the $1000 otherwise I would haven proven
Blah bla" and have even more fuel for your
attention seeking.

Get back on track, stop looking for
attention and get productive.  

I know that's hard because everyone here
finds you very amusing and wants to troll
you, but I think you've wasted enough time
trolling on forums.

Stop TALKING about shit and start DOING it.

[smracer]

I am still waiting for the Hookah lounge to take off.  Have you met with the real estate agent yet Dank?