So, to begin i have depression a pretty severe one and i had it since 2006, the last couple of years i have lost everything from my income to multiple chances i've been given, nothing ever goes right in my life ever any more and it hasn't since 2013 it's been a pure nightmare that i don't know if i can live with much longer, i yesterday found out that i visited a bitcoin website in 2011, this made my heart sink and i can't find anything to make me cope with that fact, i was a kid back then so i didn't have alot of money so at most i could have realistically bought bitcoin for 100 dollars, and thats over 100 million dollars today, i don't know how i can cope with that thought, so i wonder how is anyone else coping with it, or even those who sold off their bitcoin before the value increased like this, because i am going through multiple severe panic attacks from this now, i am trying to convince myself that i couldn't have bought any back then, wheather it would be for the difficulty buying it or any other reason but i can't find anything that would have prevented me from buying them back then, if it was something as simple as being really complicated to buy it then i could have told myself nothing i would have done back then would have changed the outcome, because i would have never been able to buy them, but from googling it it was extremely easy to buy, so i could have easily bought them back then, i did invest in things back then i bought several windows 7 dvds from ebay which ofcourse were false, i was hoping i could sell them off, i was like 18 at the time.
this is the website i visited in 2011 according to my google search history
https://forum.bitcoin.org/index.php?topic=16361.0i have no idea what that contained because the link no longer works.
at this point i am researching drugs to numb myself, i go through pain every single day including suicidal thoughts, but i do not know how i can live with this knowledge right here, if i were to count how many times i was close to getting rich or wealthy it would be well over 10 times.
Don't worry, you are far from being the only one in this case.
To help you cope with that, I can guarantee you that you would have sold your Bitcoins much earlier than 2017. I mean if you bought 100 Bitcoins back in 2011, you would most likely sell them the year after when the price started to rise, to make a profit of a few thousands dollars. And that's it really.
Just look at the charts: price was rising so much that you would have sold much earlier than 2017.
Also, please be aware that many who bought back in 2011 got hacked, security of the network was weak at the time so it could have happened to you as well.
Don't get depressed over this and look ahead.
If you have money, you can invest now and hope for a profit short term. Just never invest more than an amount you can afford to lose.
For your depression problems, stay away from drugs, medicine, they make you addicted. They are allowed because of powerful lobbyists but they are dangerous and will not cure you. Seek psychological help instead, one step at a time.
Wish you all the best
