Bitcoin Forum

Do you hate money? Did you miss your opportunity to get scammed by bitcoinica? Do you wish you'd tied up all your money with pirate? Would you like to be part of the lucky majority who got taken by a bitcoin scam?

If so, then step right up! For a limited time only, I am offering to steal your money!

Here's how it works..I'm going to offer an obvious scam with an unbelievable return on investment, and you will be stupid enough to send me money. I will lie to you, and tell you that you are earning LOTS of money on your "investment" (meanwhile, I'll be spending your hard earned cash on cheetos and steam games). After a while, I will run away with the all the remaining cash, and I will still have rubes defending my Internet Honor on the forums.

Just send your money to the address in the signature. It'll make you rich. Also, supermodels will want have sex with you.

So what you're saying is I can never prepare for the zombie apocalypse?

*trembles*

Fuck the naysayers. I'm in.

I 'invested' just for the humor factor...  I literally lold and it was worth that.

I appreciate your investment, it has already earned lots of interest. You shall recieve your first dividend in the amount of 250 btc cheeto crumbs and hugs, very soon.

I like hugs

I hope it's girl hugs, not bear hugs.

Why are you homophobic?

Have you seen one of these things? They're huge!

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/ae/Ursus_arctos_-_Norway.jpg/200px-Ursus_arctos_-_Norway.jpg

and they have bear powers

Well played sir

I will deposit donate 10 BTC if we can agree on 2.5million % interest compounded by the minute...


edit: but we must each exchange 1 dancing poodle, The poodle must have at least 1 state fair winning ribbon or our agreement is null and void.


I will give you a chance to edit but you only have 30 seconds, I am very eager to start making the millions

Agreed








all agreemeents not involving dancing poodles are non-binding

damn why didn't I just reply again instead of editing the post... ^

Untill further notice, all interest is now being paid in the form of masterbating hobos (the most stable form of currency known to man). Sorry for the convenience.

LOL..... is it the smellier the more valuable or is it like 1 btc = 1 jerkin hobo?

I will only do it for 501%.  If you can do that for me, I'm in.

i'm in as soon as i get my coins back from pirate40

 
The current exchange rate is 50.73598 btc to each masterbating hobo. Hobos that pleasure themselves, as you know, pull a premium on the open commodities market, so my investors are getting a pretty sweet deal. You can party like the kings of wall street once you have your entourage of lusty homeless drifters!!

Note: You cant touch the hobos. That costs extra.


 
Done. But in return for this concession, I demand gummi bears. Like, a lot of them. I fucking love gummi bears. (True story)


 
So, never?


 
My investment opportunity provides the perfect way to prepare for the zombie apocalypse. In fact, (for a limited time only)  I will be offering a special "Zombie Apocalypse High Yeild Savings Plan". Its exactly like my other plan, but with 10% less zombies.

Just sent you 100 btc.

Sorry organofcorti, I did not receive your 100btc, (which is unfortunate, as you could be elbow deep in dirty hobos by now.) Please redeposit so you can take your place in my Extreme Moneymaking Opportunity ^tm.


For everyone else, we have already gotten our first couple of investors!  You too could be one of the lucky few, just send me your money, and watch the btc roll in!

Edit: in light of my Very Serious offer being moved to "off topic", I am offering double interest rates for my investors for the next 86400 seconds! Act now!

Ahhhhhhhhhhh damn

I offer a non smelly hobo.

Any value?

so just a normal person? that must be illegal :P

I gave evolve 1,000 BTC and now he says my account has 5,010 BTC.  I'm rich!  Everyone needs to get in on this now before evolve gets tired of making ridiculous sums of money and closes the fund!

I'm warning you guys, this is a classic ponzi. He's just using one hobo to pleasure the next hobo and so on.

You shouldn't criticize what you don't understand.  evolve has a secret strategy involving Cheetos and Steam games...and gummy bears.  It's all worth it for that sweet 501% deal I got.

any reefer involved? seems like it belongs in the mix

Apparently, there are still a ton of shills savvy investors on this forum, so lets necro this thread and keep making me rich!

Evolve savings and trust is open for business!! (Now with 50% less hobos)

Less hobos?!?!?  It must be a scam!

I need more hobos for my tax shelter / homeless shelter. Can I get a bulk rate?

Our stock of hobos had to be executed liquidated to make room for our newest offering (but dont worry, we are passing the massive loss savings on to you, our savvy investors!




And now for our newest offering:  Tapdancing Monkey Futures!

Thats right, you can now purchase the right to maybe one day own Tapdancing Monkeys^TM!!! *


"Holy fucking shit is that monkey tapdancing ?" they'll ask,

and you'll just reply,

"Thats right, grandma....and you can have one too, just open an account with Evolve Savings and Trust!!!"


That could be you. Also, you'd probably have a kick ass motorcyle. And a rocketship.






Buy a futures contract today for 5 btc. Sweet.








*not guaranteed to tapdance, monkeys may be replaced with rabid turtle

holy shit 500%

i just read the title

i dont want to brother reading the details

i have 100% faith in your ability to make me rich

please just take my bitcoins!

can i send you all my money as well?

That depends, are you guys ready for The Opportunity of a Lifetime?

As savvy investors, I know you recognize a good opportunity when you see one, so I don't need to sell you. Just send me the private key and address of the wallet that contains all of your bitcoins (smart investors never use multiple wallets) and I will send you 1 vial filled with fairy dust and angel kisses.*

Just don't let my other investors catch wind of this, this offer is for you two only.






_{*may resemble potting soil}

How the hell am I supposed to get a tax break with dancing monkeys?! You know full well they attract a capital gains tax.

Lucky you! For a low, low* fee you can store them in one of our offshore accounts in the Cayman Islands!**









*_high
**_{where they will be stolen}

It seems pirate is being investigated by the SEC (as I'm sure most of the other "banks" on the forum are). My clients will be happy to know that we are now SEC compliant!

Probably.


I'm going to jail, aren't I ?