Bitcoin Forum

You meet a woman and after the first couple of dates, she tells you that she dates you only because you need her.

She felt bad about how infatuated you were with her and she only dated you for your own sake. You really weren't her type and she really didn't like the way you lived your life but she felt obligated out of her selfnessness to meet your needs. She sacrificed all of her selfish romantic desires and just focused on how much you depended on her. She was so selfless and altruistic in fact that she mostly admired your neediness and how sad you would be if she left you. She loved that your entire happiness depended on her presence and thus felt altruistic in her act.

Would you accept a "love" of this kind?

Is she hot?

That's not love, that's "pity"!

I would thank her for her kindness and walk away.

<yawn> paging Jim Taggart...

--edit--

or Vivian Reardon

But she's doing these things entirely for your own sake. She is not worried about her preferences and selfish desires but only about you and how much you need her. Is this not what love is all about? Selflessness?

Ah, youth is wasted on the wrong people.

Nah man. Its her selfnessness =P She is very zen

 no thx

love in a relationship is very much about selfishness.

I'd say any start is better than no start. So, pragmatically, I'd accept it.

The next step is to figure out what to do to deserve her respect, instead of her pity. I'd do that before marrying her.

Feel free to elaborate on your disagreement.

Why?

If its a need then anyone would do whatever it takes to have it filled, I cannot imagine needing love, but if she filled some other need of mine then so be it.

If she had some need to be so... helpful... Well then we both get what we need and everyone wins for a while.

If shes hot, then youd need to be rich to get some hunny like that.

Its the gods to honest truth that women usually always marry for financial security (this also includes them fucking their way up the corporate ladder which happens way too often), any women that tries to dispute this statement is a flat out lier and should be burned at the stake as a witch.

All that love and attraction shit died long ago, its all about the benjamins now.

Well, Security in general, it doesn't always mean rich, Assholes are more likely to protect a family with violence so they are high on the list, Criminals, psychopaths and Risk takers are more likely to do anything to make sure the family is safe and fed, So there's another group...

The rich criminal risk taking asshole psychopaths out there must be rolling in pussy.

Keep it as a close friend. Really close, but I wouldn't want anything more from her.

Anyway, I think that she simple wants to enjoy with you making you know first that it's not gonna last. If its that way, simply enjoy. And don't cry later.

This sort of formulation is not very open for analysis. It's very hard to dissect when you use "love" and "selflessness" in such an opaque way.

Presumably, she is satisfying some desire by doing this. Even if she despised the act itself, the intellectual reasons for her choice still are rooted in the norms that are favored by herself at the reptilian level. There is no such thing as being selfless from the ground-up, it doesn't mean anything.

Again, since she presumably isn't interested in what I am (other than being weak and needy), I wouldn't possibly be able to return the "love". I could commit myself to such a relationship in a more political level, which is realistically the common case anyway. Would I call what she does, "love"? I wouldn't. Then again, I don't call many other things love, so it's pretty much a semantic debate. Her love isn't "unreal" to me, it can indeed be included in the definition of love.

She is clearly and obviously lying.  If she is going to lie in this way, then she certainly doesn't love me, and I'm not really all that interested in trying to maintain a long term committed relationship with someone who is going to lie like that.

have you fingered her yet?

If she loved me out of a sort of pity; then I would probably end trying to fix her, which ultimatley would end up with me loving her. It's a sort of Paradox. Interesting question, never the less.

Not another "Atlas and I met a woman" thread. This is like deja vu all over again.

Who let the dogs out?

For the record, I'm all for having Atlas given a second chance and all, but restrictions were put in place.

Atlas, you are a very bright guy (note, I didn't say kid) and love reading your stuff (will never ignore you), but please consider adding VALUE to this forum. I know damn well you have it in you better than I in some respects.

Later, bud. (sincerely)

~Bruno~

I appreciate your kind words. I will say that the OP is a genuine question of intellectual merit.

This girl is troubled. If she want to do that to herself as a kind of sacrifice (selfish altruism), she must have very low thoughts about herself. She's immature, get a real woman.

What you're describing ain't "love".  It's two people whose psychological pathologies intermesh to give them the illusion of "love".  Only the clinically codependent (or those who suffer from some other serious mental affliction) would think that the relationship you've described above qualifies as healthy.

Just guessing, but the "she" in your story above is a sociopath who will wring her victims dry and toss them away like so many old rags.

Good luck!

I would like to thank you for making my point even clearer. : )

Is the OP supposed to be some kind of metaphor for the "mothering" state?

If so, it greatly over-simplifies things to the point of being pointless. The "free Market" can not exist without state control and regulation. Money is an obvious example, that people on a bitcoin forum are obviously going to discount. Other examples include natural monopolies like roads and utilities. Other things require cooperation like spectrum allocation and dispute resolution. "Opting out" is not a viable option in those cases.

No.

A highly overrated human endeavor.

is she hot?

This would not happen to me, thus I can't really answer your question.

I'm not new here.
I kill Atlas' psychopacy by seriousness.

And it's "you're", not your.

Thank you for correcting me. I still have much to learn.

You and me both.

I'm trying to figure out why certain posts of mine have disappeared... ???

Many of my posts (of late) have been WAY off-topic.  OK, I get that.  But how can an off-topic post be removed from the "Off-topic" section of this forum?  Seems strange to me, especially given the very LIBERAL posting policy on bitcointalk.org.

Read this while you can.  It will soon be deleted (or worse, moved to Meta)

 ::)

Hmmm, what's the sex like...?

Sounds like she's the one who is depending on her own need to feel selfless. I believe Rand said quite a bit about people who are selfless for selflessness' sake. None of it was good.
Love is doing things for someone else, not because they can't, or because you feel obligated to, but because you want to. She feels obligated to, and it sounds like it's out of some messed up sense of "I'm holier that though because I am so selfless" (forgot the term).
Another major problem with a relationship like this is that it's uneven. You would basically owe her, A LOT, for continuing to stick with you, and it's only a matter of time until she calls in the favors and uses that against you. In a love relationship, I would expect everything to be shared equally, with no one having an unfair advantage or debt.

Some people would think it's a diversion of maternal instinct.   That can make a woman chose to live with a man only because she thinks this man needs her.  That abandoning him would be too cruel and on.  And yet the woman can feel some pleasure, only because she'll have the feeling she's kind of useful.  That her life is not meaningless.

Of course, if the man has any pride, it is repulsing.

She had me at "Hello, and by the way I bring my own whipped cream and handcuffs."

If she's hot yes. The rest I don't care.

It would depend on what I would have to Invest in this "Love and What I would get out of it?

If I have to spend money for said "Love" its depends if that cost was below the current market value of a physical relationship.

If there was no Physical aspect of said "Love" then I would have to get something of value(to Me) from this "Love"

I have been in relationships where I have supported the other 100% Financially, just for the honor of being in a relationship.

But on the other hand I have also been tried to be "shaken Down" at the end of relationships.