You meet a woman...

[Atlas]

You meet a woman and after the first couple of dates, she tells you that she dates you only because you need her.

She felt bad about how infatuated you were with her and she only dated you for your own sake. You really weren't her type and she really didn't like the way you lived your life but she felt obligated out of her selfnessness to meet your needs. She sacrificed all of her selfish romantic desires and just focused on how much you depended on her. She was so selfless and altruistic in fact that she mostly admired your neediness and how sad you would be if she left you. She loved that your entire happiness depended on her presence and thus felt altruistic in her act.

Would you accept a "love" of this kind?

[1714168605]

1714168605

[Akka]

Is she hot?

[nederhoed]

That's not love, that's "pity"!

I would thank her for her kindness and walk away.

[Domrada]

<yawn> paging Jim Taggart...

--edit--

or Vivian Reardon

[Atlas]

That's not love, that's "pity"!

I would thank her for her kindness and walk away.

But she's doing these things entirely for your own sake. She is not worried about her preferences and selfish desires but only about you and how much you need her. Is this not what love is all about? Selflessness?

[SysRun]

Ah, youth is wasted on the wrong people.

[Ineedezcoins]

Nah man. Its her selfnessness =P She is very zen

[malevolent]

 no thx

[Chang Hum]

That's not love, that's "pity"!

I would thank her for her kindness and walk away.

But she's doing these things entirely for your own sake. She is not worried about her preferences and selfish desires but only about you and how much you need her. Is this not what love is all about? Selflessness?

love in a relationship is very much about selfishness.

[cjp]

I'd say any start is better than no start. So, pragmatically, I'd accept it.

The next step is to figure out what to do to deserve her respect, instead of her pity. I'd do that before marrying her.

[Atlas]

Ah, youth is wasted on the wrong people.

Feel free to elaborate on your disagreement.

[Atlas]

I'd say any start is better than no start. So, pragmatically, I'd accept it.

The next step is to figure out what to do to deserve her respect, instead of her pity.

Why?

[drakahn]

If its a need then anyone would do whatever it takes to have it filled, I cannot imagine needing love, but if she filled some other need of mine then so be it.

If she had some need to be so... helpful... Well then we both get what we need and everyone wins for a while.

[CJGoodings]

If shes hot, then youd need to be rich to get some hunny like that.

Its the gods to honest truth that women usually always marry for financial security (this also includes them fucking their way up the corporate ladder which happens way too often), any women that tries to dispute this statement is a flat out lier and should be burned at the stake as a witch.

All that love and attraction shit died long ago, its all about the benjamins now.

[drakahn]

If shes hot, then youd need to be rich to get some hunny like that.

Its the gods to honest truth that women usually always marry for financial security (this also includes them fucking their way up the corporate ladder), any women that tries to dispute this statement is a flat out lier and should be burned at the stake as a witch.

Well, Security in general, it doesn't always mean rich, Assholes are more likely to protect a family with violence so they are high on the list, Criminals, psychopaths and Risk takers are more likely to do anything to make sure the family is safe and fed, So there's another group...

The rich criminal risk taking asshole psychopaths out there must be rolling in pussy.

[cedivad]

Keep it as a close friend. Really close, but I wouldn't want anything more from her.

Anyway, I think that she simple wants to enjoy with you making you know first that it's not gonna last. If its that way, simply enjoy. And don't cry later.

[memvola]

You meet a woman and after the first couple of dates, she tells you that she dates you only because you need her.

She felt bad about how infatuated you were with her and she only dated you for your own sake. You really weren't her type and she really didn't like the way you lived your life but she felt obligated out of her selfnessness to meet your needs. She sacrificed all of her selfish romantic desires and just focused on how much you depended on her. She was so selfless and altruistic in fact that she mostly admired your neediness and how sad you would be if she left you. She loved that your entire happiness depended on her presence and thus felt altruistic in her act.

Would you accept a "love" of this kind?

This sort of formulation is not very open for analysis. It's very hard to dissect when you use "love" and "selflessness" in such an opaque way.

Presumably, she is satisfying some desire by doing this. Even if she despised the act itself, the intellectual reasons for her choice still are rooted in the norms that are favored by herself at the reptilian level. There is no such thing as being selfless from the ground-up, it doesn't mean anything.

Again, since she presumably isn't interested in what I am (other than being weak and needy), I wouldn't possibly be able to return the "love". I could commit myself to such a relationship in a more political level, which is realistically the common case anyway. Would I call what she does, "love"? I wouldn't. Then again, I don't call many other things love, so it's pretty much a semantic debate. Her love isn't "unreal" to me, it can indeed be included in the definition of love.

[DannyHamilton]

She is clearly and obviously lying.  If she is going to lie in this way, then she certainly doesn't love me, and I'm not really all that interested in trying to maintain a long term committed relationship with someone who is going to lie like that.

[Chang Hum]

have you fingered her yet?

[mufa23]

If she loved me out of a sort of pity; then I would probably end trying to fix her, which ultimatley would end up with me loving her. It's a sort of Paradox. Interesting question, never the less.