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EDIT: If you're unable to submit changes, please consider at least critiquing what we have to date. Every bit helps, guys.

No commas and not a single word is to be repeated (including "a" and "an" and "the" and of course "and") in crafting the world's longest sentence within those guidelines. I'll start, but feel free to change said start, alter it, etc., as long as we collectively achieve the goal. Oh, it MUST BE 100% grammatically correct, a given... and must make percent sense, another given whether factual, fictional, or a combination of the two, the latter of which I would consider great/nice/some other adjective.

Further constraints are: no contractions (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contraction_(grammar)) (e.g. there's); no abbriviations; no hyphenated words; no dashes; no colons; no semicolons; etc. In essence, a quasi-run-on sentence that's, again, grammatically correct.

I reserve the option of modifying the rules above as the task progresses. Maybe we can get our combined efforts submitted in the Guinness World Records. That said, have at, all.

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Down in Louisiana there dwells an evil ... (note how my original opening has since changed)

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Use this tool to make sure no words are used more than once: https://wordcounttools.com/

Use this tool to listen to it: http://ttsreader.com/ or https://text-to-speech-demo.mybluemix.net/ (the better of the two in my opinion)

For those who only reading the first post of threads, here's what we have to date:

Down swampy Louisiana way there dwelt an iniquitous necromancer named Toumura Maleficent Vurotia Vromira Morte whom I serendipitously thrice encountered who spent all her waking hours focused on raising long lost corrupted spirits from their waterlogged burial chambers steadfastly believing she might stumble upon abhorrent factualisms regarding omnipotent artifacts which shall more than likely reward herself untold and overwhelming powers concerning subjugation over earthly equinal lifeforms created aside terrifyingly sadistic demons formerly residing among mere mortal ponies forever grazing across open fertile fields filled by golden wheat traditionally utilized while developing procedures for discovering individuals manifesting antidisestablishmentarianism tendencies within largely liberal congregations around sprawling developments alongside meandering natural waterways flowing southerly verses northerly similarly like River Nile past multitudinous bustling metropolises including Luxor previously known as the Ancient Egyptian city of Waset or Greek Thebes once having had myriad hieroglyphs depicting femmes fatales mayhaps said seductresses hastening its ultimate demise when earthen atmospheric conditions constitute needed further evaluations reflected through continually expanding evil forces entering into infinite territories naive humans have forsaken throughout written historical millenniums in recounted previous experiences people neglected incorporating required logistical anomalies whereas superficial conglomerates direct cute honey bee workflows creating intricate architecturally beautiful structural masterpieces hence before leaving thee third confrontation with mentioned wicked deceased communicator thy was asked my dental services be rendered removing excruciatingly painful impacted wisdom teeth abating consistently annoying agony causing undue distress leading to inability performing ritualistic tasks requisite conjuring exanimate beings whilst ruminating about preceding events impacting reanimating abilities ...

...necromancer who spends all his time attempting to raise long lost corrupted spirits from their waterlogged tombs such that he might learn terrible truths about powerful artifacts which shall definitively confer upon him untold and overwhelming powers of subjugation over earthly carbon-based lifeforms.

Ok... I suppose you could argue for the use of a comma after the words artifacts and earthly in my sentence :P

Yes, I'm bored.  I voted.  I've been staring at code and now the only thing on TV are so-called experts attempting to predict the outcome of the election...

Maybe I'll watch a movie...

After starting this thread, I conducted some research where I was surprised to read that William Faulkner's Absalom, Absalom is credited for containing the world's longest grammatically correct sentence, albeit not abiding by my constraints stated in the OP above. Ironically, Faulkner incorporated "demon" in his prose (the beginning of which is quoted below), whereas "evil" is currently in our attempt, perhaps somewhere down the line we'll toss in "pony" or "ponies" for shits and giggles, recalling https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=45298.0 and related this https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=45324.0. (that episode still makes me grin ear-to-ear)


I'm still waiting the first person to add to what I've started ... (and NO ellipses)

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Down in Louisiana there dwells an evil ...

Looks like we've cross-posted, bud. Excellent submission! So, with your submission we have ...

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Down in Louisiana there dwells an evil necromancer who spends all his time attempting to raise long lost corrupted spirits from their waterlogged tombs such that he might learn terrible truths about powerful artifacts which shall definitively confer upon him untold and overwhelming powers of subjugation over earthly carbon-based lifeforms ...

<carbon-based is hyphenated, thus needing a different word or rephrasing - sentient lifeforms or sentient beings may suffice>

Sure... replace "carbon-based" with "equine" to bring your wishes to have a pony reference to fruition ;D

Dude, you're a sick puppy. Okay, I'll do it. Does "equinal" work in the below?

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Down in Louisiana there dwells an evil necromancer who spends all his time attempting to raise long lost corrupted spirits from their waterlogged tombs such that he might learn terrible truths about powerful artifacts which shall definitively confer upon him untold and overwhelming powers of subjugation over earthly equinal lifeforms ...

<I would gladly give my middle testicle if I were able to truly write like that>

Anti disestablishment materialism. I know it to be the longest word in English dictionary.

I don't know if it meets all of the requirements, but here is my attempt.


... created by terrifyingly sadistic demons formerly residing among mere mortal ponies forever galloping across open fields filled with golden wheat normally used during developing a procedure for discovering individuals projecting antidisestablishmentarianism tendencies within largely liberal congregations around developments alongside rivers flowing southerly but not northerly as does the Nile ...

Down in Louisiana there dwells an evil necromancer who spends all her time attempting to raise long lost corrupted spirits from their waterlogged tombs such that she might learn terrible truths about powerful artifacts which shall definitively confer upon him untold and overwhelming powers of subjugation over earthly equinal lifeforms created by terrifyingly sadistic demons formerly residing among mere mortal ponies forever grazing across open fields filled with golden wheat normally used during developing a procedure for discovering individuals projecting antidisestablishmentarianism tendencies within largely liberal congregations around developments alongside rivers flowing southerly but not northerly as does the Nile past Luxor ...

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Holy fuck, dudes! Lookin' very good thus far. Needless to say the task at hand will become harder due to the common one-, two- and three-letter words are virtually used up.

One more thing I need to add: all 26 letters of the English alphabet need to be used, leaving only the letter 'z' not yet used since I just added "past Luxor" so to include the letter 'x'.

I'd say let's make it a little bit longer, proof it, then collectively submit to the Guinness World Records for review with possible submission, perhaps first in its class so that subsequent wordsmiths will have the chance to break our record.

Anybody who's not able to submit due to whatever reasoning, please at least proofread the ongoing prose in making sure it passes all the rules stipulated mostly in the OP, with a couple new guidelines introduced hence.

Special thanks to those who've contributed to date.

Bruno

Hey, all, I just found this tool: https://wordcounttools.com/

https://i.imgur.com/I75mR8l.png

https://i.imgur.com/j8g6Rye.png

Shit, only 101 unique words, albeit still a record as far as I know. Somebody needs to Google to make sure while I continue to do the same. I'd say that a 200-word count prose will be difficult to accomplish but we can certainly set it as a goal nonetheless, with possibly a more realistic 1,000-character count not counting spaces being our backup goal. What do you guys think? Please weigh in.

Change galloping to grazing.

Doing it now, with thanks, bud. Fits perfectly!

IMPORTANT!: We're still need to use the letter 'K'.

I'm taking it upon myself to change 'his' to 'her' (at beginning of prose), thus a necromancer of the female persuasion, also resulting in changing 'he' to 'she'.

Ok, you'll need to change the he/she, but I rearranged a little bit and also have your k

Down in Louisiana there dwells an evil necromancer who spends all his time attempting to raise long lost corrupted spirits from their waterlogged tombs such that he might learn terrible truths about powerful artifacts which shall definitively confer upon him untold and overwhelming powers concerning subjugation over earthly equinal lifeforms created by terrifyingly sadistic demons formerly residing among mere mortal ponies forever grazing across open fields filled with golden wheat normally used during developing a procedure for discovering individuals projecting antidisestablishmentarianism tendencies within largely liberal congregations around developments alongside rivers flowing southerly but not northerly similarly like River Nile past numerous cities including Luxor previously known as the Ancient Egyptian city of Thebes

Yeah, already did he/she, but stumbled here:


I already used 'her'. Can we give her a name to replace the first 'her' if not the second?

I'm going to read your latest now, bud, again, with thanks.

EDIT: Holy shit AGAIN! Just used the tool and saw we're now at 113 unique words.

What about using "herself"?


I think that should work, but a name would add more characters.

maybe:

Miss Keihanaikukauakahihulihe'ekahaunaele

 ;D

Yep, realizing that e.g. Alice's would be against the rules, then was leaning toward the usage of 'its' for the second her. Changing it now and seeing if any other probs poop out.

The latest rendition can always be found in the OP in purple (think: purple prose) below the fold.

Hoston, we have a problem! alert depicted fittingly in red, and as I've already stated the use of 's would've been in play if used where I initially thought it would work.

Giving a [long] name somewhere in the prose is definitely not outside the realms of possibility either early on or subsequently.

In the spirit of Blue Öyster Cult's (Don't Fear) The Reaper, given that the word 'necromancer' is incorporated in the prose, to increase the word count I've resorted to resurrecting the following meme:

https://cdn.meme.am/cache/instances/folder226/500x/73009226.jpg

E.g., "forever grazing across open fields filled with" becomes "forever grazing across open fertile fields filled with", being mindful in not stringing adjectives for fear (you like that word?) of commas being needed, but purposely omitted creating a grammatically incorrect run-on sentence [within].

I'm sure you brainiacs can find myriad places to incorporate one- or two-word (maybe more) adjective terms-cum-modifiers to further lengthen what we already have to date. Please correct me if my thinkin' is wong, else have at it.

For those who do read past the OP, the following is what we have so far:

Down in swampy Louisiana there dwells an iniquitous necromancer named _______ who spends all her time attempting to raise long lost corrupted spirits from their waterlogged tombs such that she might learn terrible truths about powerful artifacts which shall definitively confer upon herself untold and overwhelming powers concerning subjugation over earthly equinal lifeforms created by terrifyingly sadistic demons formerly residing among mere mortal ponies forever grazing across open fertile fields filled with golden wheat normally used during developing a procedure for discovering individuals projecting antidisestablishmentarianism tendencies within largely liberal congregations around meandering developments alongside rivers flowing southerly but not northerly similarly like River Nile past numerous cities including Luxor previously known as the Ancient Egyptian city of Thebes ...

I just changed 'evil' to 'iniquitous' (increases the character count), and found a place to pen her name (see  ________), leaving it up to you guys to supply her name (bonus points awarded if it starts with the letter N).

I'm sure many words could be candidates for replacement with longer thesaurus-derived counterparts.

I was thinking that since it was a person's name and not used necessarily as a contraction, that maybe it would acceptable.

Maybe she married this guy and took his last name -> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hubert_Blaine_Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff,_Sr.

I'll look at this again tomorrow, I need to go to bed.

I was alluding to strictly adhering to ONLY the English alphabet, 26 letters of the Latin script (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_language).

It'll be a feat to derive her name akin to Wolfe­schlegel­stein­hausen­berger­dorff, but only after the prose is finalized so it'd be in the spirit of:

<please read and point out any grammatical errors need addressing, for I've amended the shit outta it>

<"_ _ _" is where an adjective is needed>

<the preposition 'to' is currently available>

<I opted for the prose to be penned in first-person, hence introducing 'I'>

<"learn" is now "learnt", unless it's voiced to be improper usage>

<the necromancer's yet-to-be-chosen name could consist of a first[, middle] and last name>

<the current usage of 'and' can easily be deleted (other minor modifications required) so to be used elsewhere; same true for 'of' upon further review>

<'via' would be a good word to incorp>

<I'm surprised 'when' had yet to be used - added now, subject to removal>

<unless I'm mistaken, 'in' can be extracted for future use if the beginning is rewritten as "Down swampy Louisiana why there dwells ..." - fuck it, I'll just do, where it can always be changed later>

<'in' is now available>

<'an' may be extractable for subsequent reuse>

<apologies if I inadvertently bastardized prior well-thought-out submissions - please state if anything things to be written in stone due to whatever expressed reasoning>

Down swampy Louisiana way there dwells an iniquitous necromancer named _____ I serendipitously encountered who spends all her waking hours focused on raising long lost corrupted spirits from their waterlogged tombs such that she might learnt abhorrent factualisms regarding omnipotent artifacts which shall definitively confer upon herself untold and overwhelming powers concerning subjugation over earthly equinal lifeforms created by terrifyingly sadistic demons formerly residing among mere mortal ponies forever grazing across open fertile fields filled with golden wheat normally used during developing a procedure for discovering individuals projecting antidisestablishmentarianism tendencies within largely liberal congregations around sprawling developments alongside meandering rivers flowing southerly but not northerly similarly like River Nile past numerous cities including Luxor previously known as the Ancient Egyptian city of Waset or Greek Thebes having myriad hieroglyphs depicting femmes fatales mayhaps hastening its ultimate demise when ...

<I opted for the archaic adverb "mayhaps" in lieu of 'perhaps', which just so happens coincides with the overall quasi-bygone days theme>

<please feel free to edit what I just added after the Ancient Egyptian city of>

https://wordcounttools.com/

Words   138
Characters (including spaces)   1057
Characters (without spaces)   920

<my "_____" counted as 5 characters)>

Hmmm... I don't think 'learnt' works properly in the context of the sentence.  The sentence begins in the present tense, "...there dwells...", "...who spends...", "...on raising...".  The phrase, "...I serendipitously encountered...", should be rewritten in the present tense as well, "I serendipitously encounter..."

As for naming our mysterious necromancer, I offer the following: Toumura Maleficent Vurotia Vromira Morte.

My bad, for I thought there wasn't going to be any math involved in this project, but just realized how much time needs to be spent here.

jonnybravo0311, your input may have turned out very valuable because I, and perhaps others, now feel that this first-person narrative should be penned in the past tense ('dwell' becomes 'dwelt' et al.) since most of it is already alluding to past events (couple hundred years ago; ancient). Easily accomplishable, given there's no rules saying we can't in this exercise. That said, would 'learnt' then be acceptable (opposed to 'learned')?

Where [or how] the fuck did you come up with Toumura Maleficent Vurotia Vromira Morte? I'll tell you what, I plug it in as a placeholder till it's fully accepted or changed.

Any changes that I, personally, feel needs reviewing, I'll highlighted the purple prose element(s) ever so slightly with #FDF5E6.

Question: Assuming there's not yet a word to describe this undertaking, what neologism would suffice? Paying homage to William Faulkner (revisit if not versed (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Longest_English_sentence)), I suggest that somehow "faulkner" should makeup part of the yet-to-be-determined term. (that should give you brainiacs something worthwhile to work on - remember, the hope is to get this in the Guinness World Records, thus a term describing it would be prudent) Or, we could pay homage to Mark Twain or Gabo (http://magic-realism-books.blogspot.com/2015/07/the-autumn-of-patriarch-by-gabriel.html), both also known for their lenghtly sentences, the latter most fasinating of the three [I believe].

My thoughts wrapped within < > below the stats [in bold].

Plug in the following text if you want a good laugh as its read aloud: http://ttsreader.com/  ;D

Down swampy Louisiana way there dwelt an iniquitous necromancer named Toumura Maleficent Vurotia Vromira Morte I serendipitously encountered who spent all her waking hours focused on raising long lost corrupted spirits from their waterlogged burial chambers steadfastly believing she might stumble upon abhorrent factualisms regarding omnipotent artifacts which shall more than likely reward herself untold and overwhelming powers concerning subjugation over earthly equinal lifeforms created by terrifyingly sadistic demons formerly residing among mere mortal ponies forever grazing across open fertile fields filled with golden wheat normally used during developing procedures for discovering individuals manifesting antidisestablishmentarianism tendencies within largely liberal congregations around sprawling developments alongside meandering natural rivers flowing southerly verses northerly similarly like River Nile past multitudinous bustling metropolises including Luxor previously known as the Ancient Egyptian city of Waset or Greek Thebes having had myriad hieroglyphs depicting femmes fatales mayhaps hastening its ultimate demise when ...

https://wordcounttools.com/ <I believe that I have the skillsets to perhaps bring it up to a 150-word count via [vitually] adding adjectives alone - I only need 8 7 6 5 4 more words to achieve said goal - JUST BROKE THROUGH THE 1,000-CHARACTER WALL (sans spaces)>

Words   146
Characters (including spaces)   1148
Characters (without spaces)   1003

<"such that" (two words now available) was replaced with "steadfastly believing">

<"tombs" was replaced with "burial chambers", adding a word>

<"artifacts which shall definitively confer upon herself untold" was changed to"artifacts which shall more than likely award herself untold" - QUESTION: award or reward?>

<"untold and" could be deleted, once again freeing "and">

<"but not" was replaced with "verses" - please confirm usage - now freeing up both words for later use>

<NOTE: the word 'a' has yet to be used, with the current usage of "an" easily replaced with 'a' if foregoing "iniquitous" or replacing such with a non-vowel sounding adjective; EDIT: I just found the "a" but easily removed it (it was in front of "procedure" now plural - please verify if copy still makes sense) >

Learnt still does not fit in the context.

"She spent all her waking hours focused on..." implies a time (which might be our past) that is her own present.  What is she focused on?  She's focused on raising spirits.  She's focused on believing she might learn something.  In other words, she's engaging in an act (focusing) believing her focus will attain knowledge (future event) from the spirits she has yet to raise (again implying she cannot learn the knowledge until this future event has occurred).  This is further supported by the next part of the sentence, which states that the attainment of this knowledge would confer upon her (again at some point in the future) untold powers.

As for how I came up with the name... yeah, I googled "necromancer name generator".  Then I took a couple of the names it spat out for female necromancers and put them together.  They offered "Malefic" but I decided I wanted to use Maleficent instead.

Back to "learn" it is, bud, thanking you for the well-thought-out explanation(s) which eludes me. I just realized that all this fuss about "learnt" may have been for not given that's an easy candidate to replace with a longer word if not with two words, increasing character or word count (def. char. ct. if the latter), respectively.

We cross-post, hence you not seeing my latest amendment to the post above:

<"artifacts which shall definitively confer upon herself untold" was changed to"artifacts which shall more than likely award herself untold" - QUESTION: award or reward?>

Please advise.

Name generator. Damn, I wish I would've thunk that first.  :'(

EDIT: Changed "learn" to "stumble upon", thanks to freeing up "upon" a tad earlier. We even gained a word in the process.

MAJOR EDIT: Even though I like her name, I believe it's to the best interest of limiting the she-necromancer to just two words - first and last name - expressing such in the official rules (which we'll be instrumental in penning) when future wordsmiths attempt to top our submission in GWR. Otherwise, what'll stop someone in creating a name consisting of hundreds, if not thousands of words within the rest of a copy consisting of only a few other terms, e.g.: Three-thousand-word-name ate pancakes for breakfast. = 3,004 words.

I would use "reward" instead of "award" here.

Study, and you shall be rewarded.
Why are you rewarding the child for misbehaving?

I award you with the gold medal for winning the race.
Leonardo DiCaprio received the award for best actor in a leading role.

Another way to look at is that a reward is given regardless of whether or not you sought it.  For example, "When I changed the channel, I was rewarded with my favorite episode of the show."  The show was still being broadcast regardless of whether or not you watched it.  An award is not given to you unless you seek it out.  You can't win the award for best actor if you're not an actor.

"reward" it is. I know I've checked out the two a few times before, but it's one of them terms that if not completely ingrained, must be revisited, opting this time to ask the community for help. Thanks, JB.

Hey, what's your opinion thus far about this crazy endeavor?

I'm actually quite enjoying it.  It is providing a fantastic diversion from work, although I really should be completing the solution/design/code audits I've been asked to do.

If we happen to win the award from Guinness for the longest sentence?  That's just icing on the cake!

Yes, we, not I, hence you can all call foul if I, only, take the million-dollar award (not reward), or am I thinking of some different enterprise offering up such?  ::)

Back to editing the prose while I ponder what the fuck are solution/design/code audits.

To date: <read posts above to catch up on latest annotation notes> <all edits are welcomed, with us having the ability to fix any fuckups>

Down swampy Louisiana way there dwelt an iniquitous necromancer named Toumura Maleficent Vurotia Vromira Morte whom I serendipitously thrice encountered who spent all her waking hours focused on raising long lost corrupted spirits from their waterlogged burial chambers steadfastly believing she might stumble upon abhorrent factualisms regarding omnipotent artifacts which shall more than likely reward herself untold and overwhelming powers concerning subjugation over earthly equinal lifeforms created by terrifyingly sadistic demons formerly residing among mere mortal ponies forever grazing across open fertile fields filled with golden wheat traditionally utilized in developing procedures for discovering individuals manifesting antidisestablishmentarianism tendencies within largely liberal congregations around sprawling developments alongside meandering natural rivers flowing southerly verses northerly similarly like River Nile past multitudinous bustling metropolises including Luxor previously known as the Ancient Egyptian city of Waset or Greek Thebes once having had myriad hieroglyphs depicting femmes fatales mayhaps said seductresses hastening its ultimate demise when ...

https://wordcounttools.com/ <I believe that I have the skillsets to perhaps bring it up to a 150-word count via [vitually] adding adjectives alone - I only need 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 more words to achieve said goal - JUST BROKE THROUGH THE 1,000-CHARACTER WALL (sans spaces)>

Words   151
Characters (including spaces)   1188
Characters (without spaces)   1038

Replaced in with while. Then add this:

earthen atmospheric conditions constitute needed further evaluations reflected by ever expanding evil forces entering into infinite territories naive humans have forsaken throughout written historical millenniums in recounted previous experiences people neglected incorporating required logistical anomalies whereas superficial conglomerates direct cute honey bee workflows creating intricate architecturally beautiful structures that are extremely pleasing to behold

Nice addition, Zach :)

I'm an enterprise software architect.  Part of my job is to ensure we are providing value to our clients by performing audits on the work project teams have done.

Solution audits - I evaluate the solution we have defined to ensure it successfully captures the client requirements and does so in a way that is efficient, scalable and maintainable.
Design audits - The solution is broken down into components. Each of these components describes a piece of the solution and how that piece will be implemented. I evaluate the detailed designs to ensure they are indeed providing the required solution components and doing so effectively.  For example, can this component be implemented using product functionality rather than custom coding?
Code audits - I ensure the developers use best practices, that the code is easy to read and maintain, that it is documented, that tests are included, that it performs its duty as efficiently as possible, that exception scenarios are handled, that it won't get caught in infinite loops or leak memory.  That sort of thing :)

That's fuckin' amazing! That's @ Zach. @ jonnybravo0311, come again, for all that I was able to ascertain is that you're some sort of thatman at some that company which somehow pays you a salary for a service that you've outline above. Did I nail that?  ;D ;D ;D <seriously, I get it, bud>

Now, back to editing that which I have started. In the spirit of pi, I wish to it be exactly 314 words in length. Also in the spirit of going full circle, I wish the prose to end in the voice of the [first-person] narrator. Yes, it's a major calling, but I'd say we're (translated: probably mostly you all - I'm just the creator-cum-part time editor possessing rudimentary skillsets, faking it like ALL my ex-girlfriends used to do) up to the task.

I envision the prose to virtually tell a complete story (a short story). In that vain, it'll need a title, one consisting of words not used in the prose, yet [fully] portrays the story. Perhaps too early to contrive one now, but not too early to start thinking of its title. The title will not count toward the word count. (here's an example of how my brain works: in hindsight it would've been great if the title were indeed part of the word count, with it not only acting as an actual title, but also as the start of the prose, which may still be accomplishable if any of yous are up to the task while I independently explore such avenue, with no promises - furthermore, in re how my brain works, I feel like I'm trapped in some sort of Rube Goldberg thingy, expanding a once relatively simple task into a more complex project with each subsequent post, taking all yous along for the ride pretending to steer  :o - but whatever I'm doing, I have at least one highly educated dude participating during work hours on this asshole's thread  ::))

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Problematic terms highlighted in pink.

Extractable common words highlight in yellow available for future reuse.

Major concerns in bold red.

Down swampy Louisiana way there dwelt an iniquitous necromancer named Toumura Maleficent Vurotia Vromira Morte whom I serendipitously thrice encountered who spent all her waking hours focused on raising long lost corrupted spirits from their waterlogged burial chambers steadfastly believing she might stumble upon abhorrent factualisms regarding omnipotent artifacts which shall more than likely reward herself untold and overwhelming powers concerning subjugation over earthly equinal lifeforms created by terrifyingly sadistic demons formerly residing among mere mortal ponies forever grazing across open fertile fields filled with golden wheat traditionally utilized while developing procedures for discovering individuals manifesting antidisestablishmentarianism tendencies within largely liberal congregations around sprawling developments alongside meandering natural rivers flowing southerly verses northerly similarly like River Nile past multitudinous bustling metropolises including Luxor previously known as the Ancient Egyptian city of Waset or Greek Thebes once having had myriad hieroglyphs depicting femmes fatales mayhaps said seductresses hastening its ultimate demise when earthen atmospheric conditions constitute needed further evaluations reflected by ever expanding evil forces entering into infinite territories naive humans have forsaken throughout written historical millenniums in recounted previous experiences people neglected incorporating required logistical anomalies whereas superficial conglomerates direct cute honey bee workflows creating intricate architecturally beautiful structures that are extremely pleasing to behold yet ...

https://wordcounttools.com/

Words   206
Characters (including spaces)   1663
Characters (without spaces)   1458

EDIT: Much closer than I thought to my self-imposed 314-word count prose, thus we best start thinking in terms of winding the story to a close, again, toward its end reintroduce the narrator in some capacity, for we don't want to disappoint future readers as to what happened to him or her since in retrospect he/she's relaying the story.

<I added "yet" (subject to review) to the end so to hopefully bring it back to it being dark, viz. away from "beautiful", "pleasing", etc., terms, as we concentrate on reintroducing the narrator [via "my"/"mine"] and finalizing this bitch, if there's no objections>

<there's still 1-, 2- and 3-letter words available or extractable for future use, e.g. "and">

<I'm going to start formally the rules of this exercise, whereupon later will be up for review - there's more rules than what's expressed in the OP, currently scattered in subsequent posts of mine>

<the she-necromancer's name needs to be reduced to only two words (one of the rules needing imposed) - first and last name (or equivalent)>

I just noticed that "ever expanding" is normally hyphenated.

Some modification and another addition, still many more words needed to hit your goal of 314.  ;)


structural masterpieces hence before leaving thee third confrontation with mentioned wicked deceased communicator thy was asked my dental services be rendered removing excruciatingly painful impacted wisdom teeth abating consistently annoying agony causing undue distress leading to inability performing ritualistic tasks requisite conjuring exanimate beings whilst ruminating about preceding events impacting reanimating abilities


That might not work, there would probably be a comma needed before hence?

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Shit, dude, I had to read that twice through to get my head wrapped around. Mission accomplished, but now I have to read it some more to get my head wrapped around it. I'm sure it'll all make sense to me once I added to what's been written thus far, along with having done the accompanied edits. You da man!

64 words (+ 3 when factoring in the she-necromancer name change down to two words) left to go [at this penning] is not a lot of words. I see that the narrator made his/her reappearance (is he/she a [long lost] relative? just a thought).

Thanks for editing that hyphenated issue, bud. I see you incorped "thee" and "thy", which I have no issues with, the same true for any foreign terms part of the English lexicon/vocabulary that's commonly used today.

Both "river" and "rivers" was used, easily passing muster especial on how they were used, but in the caution on the side of erroring (or something like that), I changed "rivers" to "waterways" (again, please review ALL my edits).

Problematic terms highlighted in pink.

Extractable common words highlight in yellow available for future reuse.

Down swampy Louisiana way there dwelt an iniquitous necromancer named Toumura Maleficent Vurotia Vromira Morte whom I serendipitously thrice encountered who spent all her waking hours focused on raising long lost corrupted spirits from their waterlogged burial chambers steadfastly believing she might stumble upon abhorrent factualisms regarding omnipotent artifacts which shall more than likely reward herself untold and overwhelming powers concerning subjugation over earthly equinal lifeforms created aside terrifyingly sadistic demons formerly residing among mere mortal ponies forever grazing across open fertile fields filled by golden wheat traditionally utilized while developing procedures for discovering individuals manifesting antidisestablishmentarianism tendencies within largely liberal congregations around sprawling developments alongside meandering natural waterways flowing southerly verses northerly similarly like River Nile past multitudinous bustling metropolises including Luxor previously known as the Ancient Egyptian city of Waset or Greek Thebes once having had myriad hieroglyphs depicting femmes fatales mayhaps said seductresses hastening its ultimate demise when earthen atmospheric conditions constitute needed further evaluations reflected through continually expanding evil forces entering into infinite territories naive humans have forsaken throughout written historical millenniums in recounted previous experiences people neglected incorporating required logistical anomalies whereas superficial conglomerates direct cute honey bee workflows creating intricate architecturally beautiful structural masterpieces hence before leaving thee third confrontation with mentioned wicked deceased communicator thy was asked my dental services be rendered removing excruciatingly painful impacted wisdom teeth abating consistently annoying agony causing undue distress leading to inability performing ritualistic tasks requisite conjuring exanimate beings whilst ruminating about preceding events impacting reanimating abilities foretold ... (or foretelling; again, edit in or out)

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Words   251
Characters (including spaces)   2067
Characters (without spaces)   1817

I think I require a synopsis as to what was last added, for all I was able to glean more-or-less is that the narrative had a toothache.  :'( :'( :'( TBC, I'm in no way alluding to that the addition was bad, just beyond my scope of comprehension at the moment, perhaps figuring it out within minutes, hours, days ... but not at this penning.

EDIT: Okay, I'm truly getting my head wrapped around it now once I got 'thee' and 'thy' fully engrained, for it was themist that trippeth me uppeth. I wish that I was born with a thesaurus up my ass like yinz, but perhaps there wasn't any room next to the pi et al., not to mention the circumference of my adit restricting oversized tomes, of which even today is limited to Cliffs Notes editions. Wanna see?