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But the 813 MB Ubuntu file i downloaded is an ISO and every time i try to install Ubuntu it just opens up a windows disc image burner window instead of an installation client. How do i fix this?

You need to burn the ISO onto a disc and then restart the PC. In the BIOS set the disc drive as the primary boot. Virtual machine is a good option though, download VMware player and you can install ubuntu as a virtual machine.

That's part of the problem.  My Asus is so small it doesn't have a CD drive.  It has 3 usb pors however.  Is there a way i can install it from a flash drive?

Yes. Use this tool to make a bootable USB thumb drive: http://unetbootin.sourceforge.net/

UNetbootin does the job, if you want to try out Fedora, you also have https://fedorahosted.org/liveusb-creator/ to create a bootable USB drive.

You can also download the net install version of your distro of choice, it's quicker if you have a decent Internet connection.

stick to ubuntu, its awesome - you will never go back to anything.

Well, that is debatable.  :D

I also agree with unbetbootin. But these days people just use VMs rather than secondary OS.

Alright, i'll try that.  thx

You could try Wubi (http://www.ubuntu.com/download/desktop/windows-installer) as well to install directly on (and in) Windows. I wouldn't recommend this, though.

You should run a VM first to try it out before committing to a secondary OS.

As far as I remember, Wubi was disabled with the last version of Ubuntu for Windows 8. I assume that's what the Asus runs.

What is a VM?

Virtual Machine, like VirtualBox (http://virtualbox.org). It allows you to run a completely separate OS within the one you have running, so anything you do with it will not affect the host.

That's interesting.  I've never heard of that.

I used to use it all the time when I wanted to learn Linux without ditching Windows (before the days of distros like Ubuntu). I've used it a little as of lately to evaluate gaming performance on a slave system (I do this from time to time in the hopes that at some point gaming will be an option and I can ditch my normal Windows install), which has gotten MUCH better over the years.

The good thing about this is that you can install as many OS's as you want and they are stored on an image file that you can move, delete or restore at any point. Ex. your Linux distro, if you named it Ubuntu, would just be a single file named like Ubuntu.vbx (I think that's the extension) and the entire OS and everything you install will be in that single file.

It's a really neat thing but you'll have to use it to really understand it. The best part: it's FREE.