Bitcoin Forum

Make me laugh.  I like to laugh at some good Chinese humor.  If you write or translate some jokes then I might pay you.  If you send a photo of yourself doing something funny, I might pay you.  I may post what you create on my blog bitcoinblogger.com.  Thank you.

Here is what I will pay:

If I smile: 0.05 BTC
If I make a laughing smirk (closed mouth): 0.15 BTC
If I laugh out loud (low): 0.35 BTC
If I laugh out loud (medium): 0.50 BTC
If I laugh out loud (maximum): 1.0 BTC
If I roll on the floor laughing: 100 BTC

If you translate a Chinese joke then post it in this thread.  If you think you have a 100 BTC pic you made yourself send it to:

bitcoin.cryptocurrency@gmail.com

I may decline this offer at any time depending how my mood is for day and how many people have tried to make me laugh.  I have paid out my bounties 100% of the time.  Don't forget to post your bitcoin address along with your submission.

He will pay.

I    don't  konw   why  do  you   say   this  ,   but    i  think   you   are  a  humur  people  !  so ,now    please   find   a   mirror   while    look   at  the  mirror    and   say  :how   handsome   !

haha ok so i lost. i burst out laughing at how bad that joke was... where's the address?

Hmm...

cool :D tough assignment. School isn't meant to be easy! bahahaha

I love seeing them all come up with ideas to make bitcoins. It's awesome.

My bitcoin address is "15p9saNu2Y7y7zuSknbsCFWMSEdTLRDg29" Thank you!

hahaha ,you are smark~~

d24939f8421c6ecd4fb5e189ccfeee79518d8d5efa5de0e260dd87f3998464d0

:D so much fun

i will want to try，if you are be serious。

  My  address   is    15p9saNu2Y7y7zuSknbsCFWMSEdTLRDg29
Thank   you   very   much   !  That's  very  kind   of   you   !

37ee76e2924384a563adf0002c7fa3095b41b6e70edd237dc37bbc46a2ea069b

Humour is a winning business. Everybody needs to laugh.

payment sent.  keep em coming

Long long ago,an banana walked through an desert .The weather was so hot that he taken off his clothes.But suddenly,he slipped down .Why?because he was slipped by his banana skin.HAHA
  My address is 15p9saNu2Y7y7zuSknbsCFWMSEdTLRDg29.thank you!

The soldier asks company commander: When combat how steps on to manage to the land mine? Company commander is greatly annoyed:  how can manage? Stepped on goes bad has compensated according to the set price.
my address  is   15p9saNu2Y7y7zuSknbsCFWMSEdTLRDg29

 The giraffe married has given the monkey, one year later the giraffe proposed the divorce: I have not wanted the day which again this plants leaps up jumps! The monkey is angry: To leaves! Who sees has kissed must crawl the tree!
my address is   15p9saNu2Y7y7zuSknbsCFWMSEdTLRDg29

Guys, you need to work harder on the translation, the jokes dont make sense.

nefario, why do they all have the same bitcoin address?

But that's the best part!! :DD

 Xiao Li  always put the loud fart in the office, the colleague cannot bear  and  said that you could not make noise. Then he sees the Li to sit shakes back and forth in there shakes not to stop, asked  Li what are you doing?Li replied my furnishing vibration!
 my address is 15p9saNu2Y7y7zuSknbsCFWMSEdTLRDg29

http://images1.memegenerator.net/ImageMacro/6236206/Long-long-agoan-banana-walked-through-an-desert-The-weather-was-so-hot-that-he-taken-off-his-clothes.jpg?imageSize=Medium&generatorName=Chinese-Man

When you make new jokes can you enter them into the 2 boxes called caption here:
http://memegenerator.net/Chinese-Man/ImageMacro/6236206/Long-long-agoan-banana-walked-through-an-desert-The-weather-was-so-hot-that-he-taken-off-his-clothes

?

If you do then I will give you 3 BTC. Put the link here.

Because we are the members of a group,we are college students.Now we need earn bitcoin to acquire school grades.So thank you for your support. We will try harder to find interesting jokes. ;)

OK.thank you for your support.We will do it. ;)

Doesnt make sense.

Its better when you fart in an elevator just before you leave and no one else can escape....

Who doesn't love a good fart joke btw ? lol

http://memegenerator.net/Victory-Baby/ImageMacro/6236580/One-day-I-say-to-you-you-are-a-pig-you-say-I-am-a-pig-just-strange-So-I-began-to-call-your-pig-just-
    I just put the website-link in here ,right?
    My address is 15p9saNu2Y7y7zuSknbsCFWMSEdTLRDg29

That doesn't make scene.

We need upvote / downvote buttons :)

One day, some three people (A, B, C) wander about destitute the desert island, they meet one to eat human's monster! The monster wants them to pick ten fruits to in the island on forest.The first person picked ten apples to come back, the monster wanted him to eat completely, and in the process which ate couid not stop, also could not make the sound.Finally A ate eight apples，but he really could not to be able to eat up, therefore he was eaten by the monster.B pick ten strawberries, but when he ate the tenth time,he smiled suddenly. so he was eaten.B arrived the hell to meet A, A  asked him: “Why are you eaten ? Your duty is very simple?”B put on a long face said that,“Because I saw C has picked ten big watermelons.”

http://images1.memegenerator.net/ImageMacro/6240694/Matchstick-suddenly-feel-head-are-itchy-he-stretched-out-his-hand-and-scratched-his-head-but-finally.jpg?imageSize=Medium&generatorName=Feels-Bad-Man-Frog

     http://memegenerator.net/Feels-Bad-Man-Frog/ImageMacro/6240694/Matchstick-suddenly-feel-head-are-itchy-he-stretched-out-his-hand-and-scratched-his-head-but-finally (http://memegenerator.net/Feels-Bad-Man-Frog/ImageMacro/6240694/Matchstick-suddenly-feel-head-are-itchy-he-stretched-out-his-hand-and-scratched-his-head-but-finally)
     my address is 15p9saNu2Y7y7zuSknbsCFWMSEdTLRDg29.

I couldn't understand half the jokes, but I sent 0.5 BTC, just because I had fun trying to figure them out.

Interesting that two of the jokes involved an object harming itself due to an inherent property of that object. For instance, a banana slipping on its own skin, and a match burning itself when it scratched its head. I wonder if that is a regular feature of Chinese humor.

you are right .it's an kind of chinese joke.we called it "cold‘ jokes.Most of time ,you can't understand them immediately.but when you get it,you will brust to laugh.it's chinese humor.

http://images1.memegenerator.net/ImageMacro/6242288/I-could-no-longer-endure-the-room-how-always-leakingThe-tenant-said-to-the-landlord-The-landlord-sai.jpg?imageSize=Medium&generatorName=Justin-Beiber
    http://memegenerator.net/Justin-Beiber/ImageMacro/6242288/I-could-no-longer-endure-the-room-how-always-leakingThe-tenant-said-to-the-landlord-The-landlord-sai (http://memegenerator.net/Justin-Beiber/ImageMacro/6242288/I-could-no-longer-endure-the-room-how-always-leakingThe-tenant-said-to-the-landlord-The-landlord-sai)
     my addess is 15p9saNu2Y7y7zuSknbsCFWMSEdTLRDg29

I did not even smile.  .01 BTC for trying.

I got a smile .05 BTC

Laughing smirk.  .15 BTC  The frog face did it for me.  :-)

Thanks for this explanation.  Asian jokes tend to play with words.

Here's how I would write English:

And even that's wrong. But thank you for playing. Do not correct foreigners grammar with equally bad grammar yourself; it's destructive.

"You are right; it's a form of Chinese joking. We call them "cold" jokes. Mainly one won't immediately understand. However, when you do, then you'll burst into laughter. That's Chinese humour."

The chinese students are doing well with english, the major problem is just capitalization and punctuation - In english, punctuation goes next to the word on the left and is followed by a space and then the next word.

Thanks for correction! i'll pay attention to it next time.

Hello, I don't know, you are really like to listen to us jokes, or do you deliberately in to help us. But I know you must be a good person. So, today I also give brought you a good joke. Hope to be able to make you laugh . Are you ready? Joke is such.
One day, a bunch of friends go climbing to the top of the mountain, a girl to rivers and mountains battle cry: the motherland! My mother! A like her boys immediately followed roar: motherland! My mother-in-law!
http://www.yindaoxian.com/jx/uploads/allimg/090325/1412462625-1.jpg
you can give me bitcoin , if you think my jokes worth it .
my adress : 15p9saNu2Y7y7zuSknbsCFWMSEdTLRDg29
thank you very much !

i can make you laugh ,how can i give you joke?

The picture didnt need a joke it was funny all by itself . Unless you are saying that looks like your mother in law ? lol

Visual jokes like that dont need any communication or english at all, they cross cultural boundaries.

 My mother in law-
http://www.guzer.com/pictures/thugged_out_golem.jpg

of  course not ! i only want to let you laugh !haha
if you laugh ,you can give me bitcoin . my adress:15p9saNu2Y7y7zuSknbsCFWMSEdTLRDg29
thank you very much !

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? ;D

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

i can't  understand you ! hahha

A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him.
"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I'd pulled you out of water, they'd chuck me in."
You laugh? Ha ha ha ha!
My address is 15p9saNu2Y7y7zuSknbsCFWMSEdTLRDg29

http://ww2.sinaimg.cn/large/793530afjw6dfdvzeldhdj.jpg
 If you laugh ,contact with me !   Thank you ~


my adress is 1899KKLG1b6ti1bs3U4kXfuFcRxCEVax1V

  thanks for correction , i'll pay attention to my grammar next time. It's very kind of you.

You really very lewd !

http://www.gscn.com.cn/Filesimg/2006/A/BeyondPic/2006-9/15/1370107.jpg
My address is 15p9saNu2Y7y7zuSknbsCFWMSEdTLRDg29

http://www.xwmenhu.com/uploads/allimg/100821/1302254422-1.jpg
Hope you burst laugh!So funny man.
my address is15p9saNu2Y7y7zuSknbsCFWMSEdTLRDg29

     
    Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of general motors.
    "If automotive technology had kept pace weith computer tecnology over the past few decades ,"boasts gates ."you would  now be driving a A-32 instead of a V-8,and it would have a top speed of 10000 miles per hour ,or you could have an economy  car that weigh 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas .in either case ,the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."
    "sure."says the GM chairman ."but would you  really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day ?"
   haha~~~~my address is   1899KKLG1b6ti1bs3U4kXfuFcRxCEVax1V    ,If I do bad, next time I'll continue to work hard!

There is a paratrooper in his first jump, because of fear may not find land to the place and his teammates, his body wrapped in a lot of light bulb, he eventually landed a farmer's yard, the yard with a woman, he asked the woman: "Here is where?" after the frightened old woman saw him in the corner and says: "Earth."
My bitcoin address is 1CbL5fZnV9gEtJBj5ufEV58myHnF6no7fe.
Thanks.

.

I did not laugh...sorry.

I appreciated the 3d work.  .01 BTC for you.

Sorry, I did not laugh.  Maybe if I was a girly girl I would laugh, but I am a manly man.

I smiled at your comment.  So funny man.  .05 for you.

I did not laugh.  The poor grammar and punctuation is getting old for me.

This is the most confusing joke I have read here.  0 BTC.

LOL, to bad you are not a Chinese student.  I would give you 1 BTC.

If any Chinese students happen to have a niche for photoshop or 3D design, email me or pm me.

please  give me your Email adress ! thank you so much !

please  give me your Email adress ! thank you so much !

 Expensive Price

Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth.

Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.

Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.

 ;)

A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she

spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and

the cat watched the mice. 　　

　　Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat

was so terrified that it ran for it's life. 　　

　　Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you

understand the value of a second language?"

Your bitcoin address?

0.15 BTC sended to 1899KKLG1b6ti1bs3U4kXfuFcRxCEVax1V and 15p9saNu2Y7y7zuSknbsCFWMSEdTLRDg29

sorry my address is 1L1Kh8zYBFnKRYog6LeDjRcB4wZex8oWBv  thank you

http://hiphotos.baidu.com/%CE%D2%C0%B4%E0%B6%B9%FE%B9%FE/pic/item/6b5f32f05caf12f70a46e092.jpg

1L1Kh8zYBFnKRYog6LeDjRcB4wZex8oWBv

http://hiphotos.baidu.com/%CE%D2%C0%B4%E0%B6%B9%FE%B9%FE/pic/item/62bd6ae4fd224612b83820e0.jpg
Cute puppy, do you like? My address: 1L1Kh8zYBFnKRYog6LeDjRcB4wZex8oWBv
 ;D

Done

http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/n2-qv0qE3fY/

haha~~~
my address is 1899KKLG1b6ti1bs3U4kXfuFcRxCEVax1V

Oh,I did something wrong again.
http://www.haha365.com/uploadfile/2011/0305/20110305104457744.jpg

guard against theft
http://www.haha365.com/uploadfile/2011/0320/20110320103855842.jpg
My address is 15p9saNu2Y7y7zuSknbsCFWMSEdTLRDg29   Thank you~

A big barrel of noodle is affordable ,the real to a barrel"To a barrel "is a brand of instant noodles in China.

http://www.haha365.com/uploadfile/2011/0119/20110119101058689.jpg
My address is 15p9saNu2Y7y7zuSknbsCFWMSEdTLRDg29   Thank you~

Perfect coincidence
http://www.haha365.com/uploadfile/2010/0819/20100819100830137.jpg

My address is 15p9saNu2Y7y7zuSknbsCFWMSEdTLRDg29

I'll give 0.10 BTC for each one above that i liked and hadn't seen before...

Improved:
One day, I said to you, "You are a pig." You said, "I am a pig? Just strange." So I began to call you "pig just strange." Finally, one day you could not help but announce loudly to everyone, "I'm not a pig! Just strange!"

0.10 BTC sent to 15p9saNu2Y7y7zuSknbsCFWMSEdTLRDg29.

Already good english, except you should add "the" before "water."

0.10 BTC sent to 15p9saNu2Y7y7zuSknbsCFWMSEdTLRDg29.

Improved:
A paratrooper was doing his first jump. Because he was afraid his teammates would not find his landing place, he wrapped his body in lots of light bulbs. He eventually landed in a farmer's yard, where there was a woman. He asked the woman, "Where is here?" The frightened old woman saw him in the corner of the yard, and said "Earth."

(She must have thought he was an alien because of the lights!)

0.10 BTC sent to 1CbL5fZnV9gEtJBj5ufEV58myHnF6no7fe.

0.10 BTC sent to 1L1Kh8zYBFnKRYog6LeDjRcB4wZex8oWBv.

0.10 BTC sent to 15p9saNu2Y7y7zuSknbsCFWMSEdTLRDg29.

http://gaoxiao.jokeji.cn/UpFilesnew/2011/3/7/201137192948625.jpg
         Studies should be resting his chin like enough
my address is 15p9saNu2Y7y7zuSknbsCFWMSEdTLRDg29 ,thank you !

Китaйцы пpoдaют Чeлябинcк (http://www.novelrussia.ru/blog/228.html)?! :)

teacher:Larry,if you want to talk I will have to send you to the headteachers office.
student:Oh,does the headteacher want to someone to talk to ?

my address is 1899KKLG1b6ti1bs3U4kXfuFcRxCEVax1V   
thank you ~

teacher:Larry,if you want to talk I will have to send you to the headteachers office.
student:Oh,does the headteacher want to someone to talk to ?

my address is 1899KKLG1b6ti1bs3U4kXfuFcRxCEVax1V   
thank you ~

Pamela  met her friend wendy.Wendy asked how her father was.
"he is moaning about hie operation,"Pamela said.
"Ithought you told me that the was painles,"said Wendy.
"It was until the hospital's bill are arrived,"Pamela  explained.

my address is 1899KKLG1b6ti1bs3U4kXfuFcRxCEVax1V
thank you ~

Son: "If I get the fisrt in this text , what will you do?
Father: "That I'm really happy to die! "
Son: "Dad, do not worry, I will not let you die! "


BTC:1899KKLG1b6ti1bs3U4kXfuFcRxCEVax1V
Thank you ~ :)

Do not care
 
Daughter father said: "Dad, I can tell you that one?"
Dad said: "Yes, of course. "
Daughter said to the father quietly: "Daddy, I think my mother would not take care of children. "
Dad was surprised asked: "how do you know. "
Daughter said: "Every time I have not trapped when her mother insisted I go to bed. Every time when I was very sleepy and not want me to call up. "

BTC: 1899KKLG1b6ti1bs3U4kXfuFcRxCEVax1V
Thank you ~ :)

Went to the United States, only to mom bought a pair of nike, did not give Dad buy.
 Dad not happy, my mother directly, said: "Let tomorrow take to the streets, to your father a pair of Li Ning, and it also has a hook, with the same。“

BTC：1899KKLG1b6ti1bs3U4kXfuFcRxCEVax1V
THANK YOU ~ :)

One day, a fire, father and mother escaped, leaving only one son still inside.
 Mother is very nervous outside the house shouted: "Why you son of ... ... ... ... are on fire is not out ... ... "
 Son replied: "I wear socks ah! "
 Mom said: "What are the fire and you still wear socks? "
 Five minutes later, his son has not come out ... ...
 Mom and tense shouting: "Son, you in the end doing? come out ~ all on fire, but also to stay there ... ... "
 Son said: "I ah socks off! "

BTC：1899KKLG1b6ti1bs3U4kXfuFcRxCEVax1V
THANK YOU~ :)

  A grand funeral is carrying on the service to mourn over a  man dead of illness before the be sent into the coffin ,the minister said in a low and sad voice: "... here, lying such a man, and he was believed to be an honest good lawyer, a caring good husband, a good father full of family sense of responsibility  ....
At this moment, the widow bowed her head and whispered to her child said: "go to see if the person in the is your father!   :D

                             A LAUGHING  FUNERAL
A grand funeral is carrying on the service to mourn over a man dead of illness before the be sent into the coffin ,the minister said in a low and sad voice: "... here, lying such a man, and he was believed to be an honest good lawyer, a caring good husband, a good father full of family sense of responsibility  ....
At this moment, the widow bowed her head and whispered to her child said: "go to see if the person in the is your father!

                       A LAUGHING FUNERAL
A grand funeral is carrying on the service to mourn over a man dead of illness before the be sent into the coffin ,the minister said in a low and sad voice: "... here, lying such a man, and he was believed to be an honest good lawyer, a caring good husband, a good father full of family sense of responsibility  ....
At this moment, the widow bowed her head and whispered to her child said: "go to see if the person in the is your father!
    my BITC:https://www.my.bitcoin.com/login/sign-in.php

                           A LAUGING FUNERAL
A grand funeral is carrying on the service to mourn over a man dead of illness before the be sent into the coffin ,the minister said in a low and sad voice: "... here, lying such a man, and he was believed to be an honest good lawyer, a caring good husband, a good father full of family sense of responsibility  ....
At this moment, the widow bowed her head and whispered to her child said: "go to see if the person in the is your father!
 my BITC:https://www.mybitcoin.com/login/sign-in.php
 Thanks a lot!

C:\Documents and Settings\tsg\桌面\喷气式飞行.jpg
 
 Have you seen a dog which has a lovery wing?yeah,a great  dog!!

 C:\Documents and Settings\tsg\桌面\guy and dog.jpg
     Oh!my god,it is so fantastic! I can not believe it!

Okay, I'm not Chinese, but I heard this joke from a Chinese person.  ;p


Apart from the economic aspect of the joke, this is especially funny if you've ever driven in China.

Wedding night, upset the bride tells the groom.


She has something to confess to him.


The bridegroom say:


"Honey, that's ok. I know you skip the strip."


The bride said: "but I will confess is in before."


The bridegroom asked:


"Don't you say you've Bohemian, very not self-respect?"


The bride said:


"Yes, I haven't after sex-change surgery before..."
do you laugh。。:-)
bitcoins address；1QJ7oYvH7aMrtGPUjb7dhLx6QcQh6X3Sgb

the following topic requests to be  togethered with four words  which  are  coherence connections:
 1, zhang haidi sister  paralyzed;
2, zhang haidi sister stubbornly learned;
3, zhang haidi sister learned several foreign languages;
 4, zhang haidi sister learned acupuncture.
 The correct answer should be: "zhang haidi sister although paralyzed, but stubbornly studied, not only learned several foreign languages, but also learned to acupuncture.
The results is that there is a child who wrote: although zhang haidi sister stubbornly learned acupuncture and several foreign languages, but she still paralyzed. 
then another more fierce child wrote: zhang haidi sister learned  not only several foreign languages, but  also acupuncture, her so stubbornly study, finally paralyzed!
 
my address:1AoxEzaizi3CW1XcFooqTUN5y3AKShJLYU
Thank you

One day, the Magistrate passing a construction site with his wife, a red county workers wearing helmets shouted to his wife :"Hi, remember me? in   High school we are always  make  dates?"
when back to  Home, Magistrate said:"You marry me is  your luck, or you today is the wife of a construction worker".     " you are the true  luck man , otherwise, today he is a magistrate." Magistrate Mrs replied.

One day, the Magistrate passing a construction site with his wife, a red county workers wearing helmets shouted to his wife :"Hi, remember me? in   High school we are always  make  dates?"
when back to  Home, Magistrate said:"You marry me is  your luck, or you today is the wife of a construction worker".     " you are the true  luck man , otherwise, today he is a magistrate." Magistrate Mrs replied.
   :)address:18eDc6pVXvFLY6SXLjg274YrzRWDAc1bK

天呀！我刚才又捡到一分钱，赚死了啦！
 God! just picked up one penny. How big this fortune is!
听着！我要追你！我一直要找的就是你！这次我不会再错过机会了！我一定要追到你为止。。。。。。死蟑螂，追到你就踩死你！
 Listen, I want to chase you! You are the one I am looking for. This time I won't miss the opportunity. I'll catch you up...damn roach, and kill you then!
想要把你忘记真地好难，思念的痛在我心里纠缠，朝朝暮暮的期盼，永远没有答案， 为何当初你说要请我吃饭？
 It's difficult to forget all about you. I am hurt by the pains of missing you. I  am expecting day and night without answer. Why do you promise to invite me to dinner?
一天0和8在街上相遇，0不屑地看了8一眼说：“胖就胖呗，还系什么腰带啊？”
  One day the Arabic number 0 met the Arabic number 8 in the street. 0gave 8 a scornful glance and said:"Since it is the fact that you are plump,is there any need to tie a waistband?"
其实我留意你很久了，可是你周围总是包围着不同的人，如果有机会让我跟你单独见面，我一定会把握机会，轻轻地捂住你的嘴，然后问你一声：要钱还是要命。
 Actually I have noticed you so long , but someone else is always around you. If I have chance to only meet you, I would cover your mouth with my hands and fiercely say: "I'll kill you unless you give me money."
你知道吗？当你笑时，全世界都跟着你在笑，当你哭时，全世界。。。。。。只有你一个哭。但我是不会眼睁睁地看着你哭的，我会闭上眼睛。
 Do you know? When you are laughing, the whole world is laughing with you; When you are crying......only you are crying. But I won't stand by to watch you cry. I'll close my eyes.

1DsPnbS7JF37arVkt3q2sG2s7Eu5b4xhnA

Sand monk: "teacher, later if trouble we never came to find guanyin bodhisattva."
Eight quit: "you eat the wrong medicine?" Sand monk: "I did not take medicine."
Eight quit: "that you should take medicine."
Tang's monk: "don't butt in! Why?"
Sand monk: "let's go find'll do it."
office, national chain Tang's monk: "enlightened net you too naive! If that is what you get that I named the jade emperor more."
Do you laugh now?
My address:1CGWFPzTWum4dfnx7VAddmyAA4n6FG4Kid

Sister and brother-in-law up




Onion sister one day, Mr. That night he and went home to sleep in.


The next morning, o Onions get up and get ready for school, before going out, ask a mother said: "my sister and brother-in-law up?"


Mother said: "not yet."


Then went to school, onion.


Noon onion home for dinner, o mother "and asked my sister and brother-in-law up?"


Mother said: "not yet."


Afternoon onion come home from school, o a door ask mom said: "my sister and brother-in-law up?"


Mother said: "haven't, you today why always ask your sister and brother-in-law up yet?"


Answer: "o Onions before you go to bed last night I want to go to the bathroom brother-in-law heard sister take lubricant, but I get up in the morning when I put in the bathroom, found a powerful agents gone."

That is one of the funniest things I have ever read.

 :)Great minds think alike！
Do you want to know more?
Perhaps you have already know a lot of jokes in China.But if you want to know more i will do my best to tell you.

Most English jokes are based on irony or sarcasm.

Like this??
Take the natural log of root i
     (This is strange, but I swear I don't lie)
     Ask Euler if you doubt -
     From his grave he will shout:
     "That's i times one quarter of π!"

Are you asking me to explain my limerick?

My statement above is best explained by this:


Your joke is funny to me because I have absolutely no idea what it means.

姑姑还是那样，过儿已经老了

在剧中，杨过与小龙女在时隔16年后的阴历3月终于重逢，而戏外，2011年的阴历3月同样是16年后，古天乐和李若彤在飞往云南的飞机上相遇。古天乐对李若彤说的第一句话竟然是‘姑姑’！说完连他自己都惊讶，竟然已经有16年了，这16年两人并没有怎么联系过，古天乐笑言：“姑姑还是那样，过儿已经老了！”

http://pic.yupoo.com/dapenti/B5c38yYd/QB2qa.jpg

Auntie  looks the same as before, Guo have been old

In the play“ Divine Eagle ，Gallant Knight”, Yang Guo and Little Drangon Princess in the lunar calendar the first time in 16 years after the last reunion in March, while outside the movies, the lunar calendar in March2011 is also 16 years later, Louis Koo and Lee Yeuk Tung photogenic aircraft flight toYunnan Opportunities. Louis Koo's first words of Lee Yeuk Tung turned out to be “Auntie”!Having even he was surprised, actually has 16 years, 16 years how they have not contacted, Louis Koo said with a smile: " Auntie  looks the same as before, Guo have been old! "

THANKS!  Enjoy your weekend!

My address:    16GFFpXbjGjrFtL7Xjc7ikSrA52Wy96neQ

Sorry for interrupting, but I'm sure this joke suits here perfectly.

A quick brown fox was regularly visiting Old McDonald's farm in the night. He would take one hen each time and eat it.
But one day he fell into a trap. Old McDonald asks the fox: Are you the one that steals my hens?
"No", said fox.
But this was him.

I dont think this is a joke.

http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5225/5758238513_701099957e.jpg
Ai Weiwei, a Chinese artist and activist recently arrested.
Tiananmen Square.
Image of Mao
Crab, a symbol of Harmony government advocated


when I saw this I laughed for hours, hope will make you laugh

12rcQ3rQj4qrTa2jtSJMJv5ovQXyxT6jSa

Well, I'll try to translate some. The translation itself may be funny too with respect to my English skills. :(  the following can be seen as funny stories happened in the daily life.

1
和几个哥们约好看欧冠，拜仁和里昂的第一场。开始前大家一起在打牌。好不容易熬到时间比赛开始了，虽然都有点困意，人一多热闹了就都不想睡了。
比赛很精彩，有人骂着，有人喝着，都在为比赛、为足球狂热着。感叹着，一起看球就是有感觉。
比赛90分钟结束，一伙计冒出一句话：“哪一个是拜仁！”

I was watching an UEFA Champions League match together with some bro. It is the first match between Bayern and Lyon.

At first we played cards. After a long waiting the match finally started. Everyone was somehow sleepy, but soon became excited.

The game was wonderful. Everybody started to yell, with happy or angry. Everyone became crazy. It's really good to watch the game with others, and I feel as if my blood boiled.

After 90 minutes, the game was over, and we begin to leave the place. A little voice raised up suddenly, "which is Bayern?"

BTC address
14pGC2yAfgkYS19rbRdJHiBCX7EvCp3J5T

I'm going to find one more.

2
今天面试没通过 ，因为他们觉得我的打扮过于女性化了 。

？？？！！

我TM就是女的 ……


Today's interview was not passed. They told me that it is mostly because my dressing is too much feminized.

???!!

WTF, But I AM a female...

the teacher of english class says "class todays word is 'hostess'  can you use it in a sentence for me please?

the french boy says "my mom worked as a hostess her entire life" 

"excellent use of the word hostess, guy"

the african boy says "I love hostess cup cakes"

"excellent use of the word hostess, abubru," applauded the teacher, "now wang, it is your turn"

wang looked confused and scratched his head, but then he exclaimed, " Zhee other day, my phone ring ring ring and i pick it up and i say "hostess????""

17ifRHsQJYyWycmBqcSvSN2Nu14NQcykhB

Okay, that one sincerely made me laugh.

So my wife came up to me and said, "Take off my shirt." So I took off her shirt. Then she said, "Take off my skirt." I took off her skirt. "Take off my shoes." I took off her shoes. "Now my hose, bra, and panties." I took them off. Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."

Edit: Out of curiousity, is it possible to practice chinese in this board? or is it the other way around?

It sounds like a good deal to me.

Okay, here's my joke:

   Why do Chinese people drive cars that are low to the ground?

So they can pick rice while driving.