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I am working on an article on relationships and marriages. In my part of the world marriage feels like punishment on the female gender. In the days of old as I learnt, it was the responsibility of the man to provide and protect the family but in today’s society, men relax and have the women do almost everything. I observed this most in Nigeria or African. women grow old faster once married. I take instances from my neighbours, family and the society. The man on any day wakes up, take his bath, dress up, eat and off to work if he has one. The woman is the cook, launder, housekeeper, nanny, hand lady, errand girl, cleaner, and she must be working etc. just name it and she must not complain, she must not be tired. For real this is happening don’t think am just assuming. I see it live. Why is it so? I once asked a man in this case, why he maltreats his wife like a slave and he said no reasonable man is allowed to do house chores or assist in anything. The work of the man is to bring money that’s all. Can this be true?  Will you like your sisters, daughters, neighbours, friend  be treated badly in the name of marriage? Let’s talk. No abuses or insult please. I need soul lifting contribution.

they say marriage is a life sentence but i dont think it comes with hard labour...treating your wife badly all in the name of the man bringing money home is not acceptable. Marriage is a partnership not a prison where there has to be master and slave. All am saying is marriage is not a punishment but it becomes a prison when the couples do not understand the term partnership.

Man, i'm shocked to see many of my fellow dudes getting divorced! And i couldn't have said that there is something wrong in the relationships they were having (husband and wife that is). The more you live...

the word "punish" is  a bit too far. I agree though that women nowadays are treated like slaves as it is happening here in the Philippines. For me, its unfair if we let our wives do all the household chores. Everyone who lives in that house should help each other and split the chores. Marriage for me is a gift, is a way of accepting a person wholeheartedly and love him/her until your last breath. If you love a person, you would not allow that person to do all the tasks while you sit and relax. If you love your wife/husband, you should spend time working together on chores and discuss the chores thoroughly so everything will be organize.

I guess you don't have to generalized it but focus only on the society you live in. No countries has the same traits at all especially on a man behaves to her wife and wife carries the way her family. I guess it's better to provide more data first then begun writing an article when you feel it like it was the time. Do some quantitative research first since you feel like it is growing. I advise you start on your society first.

Although, there are ups and downs in marriage, it does not mean marriage is a punishment. Currently, more and more people (men and women) all over the world are going into marriage. As a matter of fact there are thousands of marriage ceremonies taking place every weekend. Does it mean that people enjoy been punished? No! Marriage was designed to better the life of those going into it. Going by the adage “two heads are better than one” and if all things been equal while in marriage obviously the couple do better than when they were singles. As couple they will jointly plan their lives (career, family, etc) hence, they have a common goal.

In all honesty, my experience was pretty awful. My story is so basic, i despise myself - she and i married because we thought we loved each other. Then five years passed, we hated each other, and someday we just decided to break free of this said prison. Probably best decision in my last 2 years. So it might be bad that bad, but i know it might also be good for ppl. Just find the right person, that fit you (and you fit her/him).

It depends on the fundamental reasons of the marriage. Sometimes you can be forced into it or want to prove a point

Exaclty it depends on the fundamental reasons , because a marriage will only be called punishment for a person who accept this kind of relationship when that person is force to do so. Or it is being arrange by the parents of both person to get marriage but they are not inlove with each other. Marriage is the best thing that can happen to a couple who loves each other and they says that marriage is a sacrament to couples.

It is not a general aspect. I think you should read the topic with understanding. I said Nigeria and Africa which part of the world I live in. Sure will do research and that is why I will need you to help me get some details from your part of the world.  All cannot agree to same opinion. Thanks.

For example my landlady. she was not forced to marry the husband, it was real love so to call it but along the line something changed. I personally went there to assist her as a friend. what i saw baffled me. she just give birth to their third child and suffered some infection. on getting there I saw her lying on the floor and i asked why. she said she was tired and all that. while i was still trying to say something, the husband came out with food, gathered the two boys and they were eating. leaving the nursing mother out. i took permission to leave so she could join her family to eat but to my surprise the man said the woman cannot eat with him. its a taboo. to cut it short she busted out in tears, you know women and their emotions though. the man said a whole lot of crap that cant be repeated and am like wow, this is ridiculous. Somethings he said I have never heard before and i started doing some silent research within my street.

Everything in marriage depends on the culture your people have. In my country women where given to men as some kind of thing but still they have been respected as they deserved. It depends on the general mentality of the citizens in your country. I think the solution to every discrimination of women in the family is equality of genders, and maybe not now maybe not everywhere but some time later there won't be discrimination of any kind.

Sadly, there are some couples who maltreat their partners just because they are married. Not just because she is a woman, she must stay in the house and do all the household chores and not just because he is the man that provides for his family, he can do all he want to his wife. Married couples must understand that they are one now and that they are partners in all that they do. They must love, communicate, and trust each other to have a healthy and happy married life.

Marriage, as anything that's extremely difficult but rewarding, takes effort.

The reason it fails so often is because it requires the same effort from both parties. The motivation for this effort can be easily lost once the wife and husband begin to have a hard time understanding the emotional, physical, and sometimes financial needs of each other.

"Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about." Even those closest to us.

Freedom is a state of mind. Sometimes the man can also feel in a sort of prison as well, trapped into providing for a wife who ends up resenting him. Marriage is one of those tricky things that can give you an immense sense of satisfaction or pain depending on how you play and interpret your hand.

I wish everywhere in the world women were free to chose their husband and treated equally. I believe true love means mutual respect between partners. Which means share the chores, the work, the rewards. I also wish everywhere in the world women would be brought up with faith in themselves and be allowed to become whatever they want - business woman, politican or kindergarden teacher, which ever. I wish women were free to wear what they want, to have their bodily integrity intact.

In the West many people would argue the roles the OP describes are reversed and they feel like the women get to relax while the men work. Of course this is a generalization, but it does not make it inaccurate. There are many social and economic differences that cause these results in both places.

IMO marriage was originally conceived of to build society, and a lot of evidence supports this premise. Human beings left without societal norms will often instead of building families, which are the fuel that builds economies and societies, will tend to fall into less constructive rolls. What tends to happen is the women gravitate towards the top 20% of men, and those men form sort of "harems" of women and the rest of the 80% of men do not form family units which are critical for a society's development. This is often referred to as the Pareto principle (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pareto_principle), and is also supported by numerous peer reviewed studies as well as internal analysis of dating sites.

As a result of this problem, the concept of marriage was implemented to balance the natural tendencies evolved in women for hypergamy, searching for the best conditions for themselves and their children, with the need to build society we all benefit from.

Obviously the intent of marriage was to create a balance from the natural order, but like any human system it is imperfect and often does fall out of balance.

Marriage is not a kind of punishment, it will be a punishment if you choose to marry a person that you didn't love and didn't love you back. I don't think that marriage is a punishment, it is our right to marry the person we love to be with them for the rest of our lives, and for me, there is no punishment if you truly love a person you marry.

There are sadly some parts of the world and cultures where marriage is still essentially modern day slavery and women are treated as second-class citizens that are basically just expected to stay at home and cook and clean and have sex with their husbands when they want it and that's about it. I don't think there's any evidence to suggest that women age more in marriage, though. I'm sure the men who are the breadwinners and go out and work hard all day also feel the stress of this expectation on them (though I'm not discounting how hard it is to raise children and be the home-maker).


I agree with that this used to be the case, but luckily attitudes have changed very fast over the past few decades and now men and women are mostly equal on this front (at least in my country), though obviously some women do choose to stay at home and be 'housewives' and look after the children and so on. I have no issue with that as long as it's their choice and there's no expectation on them. I have no issue with a man staying at home and doing this role instead either.



I don't agree with this. Marriage was essentially created for men to claim ownership of "their" property ie wives, not for the betterment of society. I think marriage is born out of male insecurity and wanting some kind of contract that legally ties the women to them forever. I think a lot of oppression of women is born out of male insecurity and them not being able to handle the thought of anyone 'messing' with "their" property/wife. Why do women in some Muslim countries wear burka or niqabs? Those were rules imposed by the men of society because they want to keep "their" women covered so no other men get any ideas and are enticed by a bit of skin and try have their way with their wife. Once that women is married then they become the property of that man and the only person who should lay eyes on them are their husbands and that's a very sad state of affairs

I wish all that and more.

For all the men, regardless of your background, tribe, colour, country and status, if you are doing the right thing keep on doing it but if you are not, it is not too late to try. The change we are looking for, begins with us -you and I. Someone said the first thing to be in life is to be human. when you have that at the back of your mind,then you will understand and have compassion for others who are equally humans like yourself.

marriage is punishment if you'll marry a wrong person but when you marry the right person who will take care of you, love you even when you've done mistake she/he will forgive you and most of all there will always be at your side in bad times and good times, staying with you what ever happens, then,  there will always help you up when your down .

actually, it is not punishment at all because it's our choice to fell in love and to have our own family. It is a sacrament which is establish between two lovers.

Marriage, I think, can be a kind of punishment and also can't be. I believe that if we took marriage not seriously that we don't choose it with our heart, then marriage can be seen as a punishment as we would live our life into something that isn't true in terms of what we feel. But if we would take it seriously, then the thing that makes it somehow a punishment could be the struggles but I believe that this is just in the matter of mindset. If we would take it positively, then it would be not a punishment at the end of the day.

Well if a man is busy working and the woman doesnt then she clearly must take care of the house or who will if she doesnt want to care for the house then she can look for a job so that a housecleaner can be hired still it also would not be fair for a woman to sit at home and not clean or work. I think you are confused in the matter no one in this world gets anything for free. Now mistreating someone is a whole different subject and field just because you are married doesnt mean you have to sustain to be mistrested by your partner and this goes for both male/female.

At what point in the post portrays confusion, I will like to know. You are missing the point. I guess it is just a comment to earn your weekly reward. I understand because you neither here or there.

I have seen a lot of people with this mind, set and honestly their lives are miserable. I think some man behave this way due to his culture or the mindset that he was raised on. People are naturally born free no matter what you do for them you can never enslave them. husband and wife should work together and determine their strength and weaknesses so that they could live most optimal live they could, live decisions of a family should not be one sided nor the responsibilities.

It is indeed a punishment when you marry a person you don't love.
Who would marry someone that is hated so much? or never loved?
It is a punishment if you marry a person and you don't have a stable mind, income and health. You would causetrouble not only to yourself but to the people around you.

bottomline is, why would you settle for something and someone you are not sure to be with.
marriage takes time to think

"I am working on an article on relationships and marriages. In my part of the world marriage feels like punishment on the female gender"

First question. Did you have a normal family? Are your parents divorced?
Quite often I hear such questions from people, who are not from complete families and do not understand therefore what family is.
The worst thing, which can happen with a person is to grow without a family.
It leads to psychological deviations.
Capitalism in Western World acts mostly to destroy the families and therefore all "feminism" oriented states are degrading.
There is no intermediate solutions here - either you get gay marriages, or man should dominate society like in Africa/Arabian world.
Humanity has two (maybe 3 options):
1. Complete degradation as it goes in Europe
2. To be replaced by robots/AI
3. Getting back to normal cultural values like in Africa/Muslim world
Women should do home job - children care, washing, cooking etc.
Man should get money, work, agriculture, children also etc.

Anything different is temporarily deviation.
Religions exist for thousands years.
Animals exist for millions years.
It s quite probably that civilization and especially cultural and political liberalization is not a social advantage, but in contrast - it is disadvantage against animals.

Judge country by child birth rates, not by income - then you get a reverse picture.

Yes, yes. I have been hearing my whole life and reading about even before that, where everyone is so self confident and ready to reassure themselves that we are superior to societies of the past, and have shed the stagnation of tradition with only improvement in the state of society. Also about how "equal" men are to women, but some genders are "more equal" than others depending on the prevailing socioeconomic status of the host culture.

In the Western nations women are are literally a protected class with special privileges above men. There is LITERALLY not one right for example in the USA that men have and women don't. However I could build quite a list of rights women have that men don't in the US as well as many other Western nations, not only in law but in practice.

Your opinions are little more than poorly informed knee-jerk reactions based upon standard neo-feminist indoctrination. Women can do no wrong under your rubric, and any cause in their name is a good cause no matter how destructive. Comparing all marriage to Muslim treatment of women is an intellectually dishonest comparison and little more than an attempt to smear by association.

Marriage is a compromise for both men and women. Traditionally men were responsible for their wife and children. This included providing for them and protecting them. In exchange the husband was to be provided with children, have them tended to, and be treated with deference. Honestly it is not that much to ask in exchange but Western women are conditioned by people like you that marriage is equivalent to their ownership by a man. Also, marriage ensures women, that once their reproductive years were over, they would not just be cast aside to be alone in her old age in favor of a younger and still actively reproductive woman. What a coincidence that we also have a flood of discontent aging single women in the West with men in their same age bracket not at all interested in them as relationship prospects.

Also, now days if a woman can not provide for or protect herself, the state will do so. Of course this is still paid for by men, by other men holding them at a point of a gun to collect that revenue to pay for those women to live.

So as you see men in the West now have all of the responsibility of marriage but none of the benefits. Women still get the benefits of marriage through the state while having less responsibility for themselves. It is little wonder men in the West are checking out en-mass, as divorce rates skyrocket, and reproductive rates drop like a rock, but who needs a family unit right?

However, please do enlighten me on how well things have been going since post modernism rolled out this sociological hellhole.

marriage should be just a union, something that confirms that both share responsibilities in the family, should not be seen that way. What you comment can also be seen in several parts of South America, although here I have noticed an increase in liberal relationships without some kind of marriage. Maybe it's a kind of punishment but we (society) have let it be so

Marriage has its challenges, granted. But it also has its joys. From my experience, we Africans will better enjoy marriage if we have fewer children... maybe one or two. The more the children, the more the pressure and the household labour. And as the pressure increases, love gradually decreases thereby bringing the union to the 'punishment level'

It is high time African men understood that washing, cleaning, cooking, sweeping, etc are not entirely for women. As you rightly observed, African women are now working hard to support their families' finances. The men should also return the favour by assisting their wives more in household chores.

Not at all. The original purpose of God for marriage is to be enjoyed and not to be endured. That is why one need to be cleared of certain things before saying yes I do. Such as, how much of love do you have for one another? the believe and background of the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, whether its some thing you can cope with or not because believe and background of a person matters when it comes marriage.All the points you listed in your write up are real and they are happening in many marriages.I really like your school of thought because if our young ones are been properly guided and oriented before marriage I think it will be what God really want it to be.Best of luck.

“By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.”
--Socrates (I guess he had a bad one)

Do not mix up - marriage in Western and Eastern worlds. It is different. Westerns sees “marriage” as the final destination in the long journey that is a relationship. As for Easterns - its a beginning, since most couples do not know or know just a few days each other. And you do not know what is good and which is bad, both have minuses and pluses. In one - it is normal to live such life ( women must take care of the household, men - the earner), in another - equality. It depends how the couple see it, for one its normal and wife is happy.

I personally think that marriage is not a punishment at all, nor a reward, because it is more of a responsibility and security. To marry someone is not a punishment and will never be, unless you do not love that someone --- just simple explanation like that. The primary purpose and the reason why marriage was created is because it is a way of celebrating love. However, marriage for some is not that worthy of to celebrate since a supposedly wonderful dream turns into a nightmare. And even though there are stories like that, we should not see it as a punishment. It is because every stories are different, and if we all want those stories to be beautiful, we should not perceive marriage as a punishment. If we see it negatively, how can we expect someone then to see it in a positive way?

The basis of all this 'Marriage  is a kind of punishment' is a 'gender role stereotyping' .We need to come to terms with  these facts;
-some women are better leaders than their husbands.
-some men can cook better than their wives
-some men are more domesticated than their wives and many other women.
-some women are physically stronger than some men.

Africa is faced with the unpleasant yet normal situation of assigning roles based on gender. So to find a woman having to work and feed the family should not be surprising to the world. Women who do this are breaking away from society's  'gender stereotyping'.

this gender stereotyping which you have just stated is is one that hinders a people's ability to fulfill their potentials by limiting  choices and opportunities.

It only turns into a punishment if both the wife and husband aren't the really compatible with each other. That is really the root of the problem. And it always end like that because people are now used to making quick decisions and some even get married just after they known each other in less than a year. They should really know each other first.

These duties have arisen not from scratch: they rely on knowledge of male and female nature, understanding of the seven stages of relationships and types of marriage, and take into account male and female psychology.

This knowledge, if properly applied, leads to happiness.

I don't want my sisters and relatives treated that way.

I guess this is part of their society from those countries that you observed. In most countries, women has equal rights to the men and they can shift their places whenever they want.

My opinions are well-informed, you just don't agree with them. This is just the standard knee-jerk reaction from an insecure male who has had his masculinity and archaic opinion of women and what they should be challenged. I never said women could do no wrong either. I don't believe men and women are equal in every facet either, but this isn't convenient for your strawman. I'm just telling you why marriage was created and why it's an outdated institution, which it is. If most men were secure in themselves then they wouldn't feel the need to get trapped into a marriage that serves them no purpose at all. It's a bit of paper and a ring. That paper is a legal contract. Don't sign it, especially if you don't want to get fucked over by the law.


Where did I compare all marriage to Muslim treatment of women? I'm making a point of what happens when you let insecure men make all the rules in society and when they think they have dominion over women and their bodies and force them to cover up and shut up, or else. If we didn't have things like women's rights then we'd still be living in the dark ages where women are forced to do things like wear full body capes and their only job is to stay at home, cook and clean, be used as a self-cleaning sexdoll, and shit out babies on command.


I never said it wasn't, but the question is why would you want to compromise yourself and for what?


Traditionally being the key word. Tradition is dead men's baggage - stop carrying it. Traditionally it used to be okay to beat and rape your wife whenever you wanted. Luckily times have changed. They wouldn't have if insecure men still made all the rules of society and got their way and expected women to lie down and do what is "expected" of them, and that's what still happens in some Muslim countries where women are second-class citizens with little to no rights and are at the behest of whatever their husband (or father) wills or wants from them.


Aww, is that all you ask of them? How nice of you. Sounds like you just want a nice, docile Stepford wife to meet all your needs and desires. I never said all marriage was equivalent to ownership either, but that it used to be, and sadly still is in some countries. You can still provide and protect for a woman if financial domination is your fetish and that is what she wanted, though, but what if they don't? What if they want their own careers or don't want children? That's not okay in your book? And what if your wife didn't show you "deference" and didn't do everything you wanted? A few slaps for disrespect or indifference? Dinner not ready when you come home after a hard days work? Rape? That's what used to happen and was even often socially acceptable. You obviously have a preconditioned idea of what women should be and what they should be doing for you, and that's why sexism is still a problem because this sort of abuse used to be the norm and nobody batted an eyelid.

By the way, most women don't need providing for or protecting these days and are not damsels in distress that need rescuing, and that's obviously where the issue here lies. Do you feel useless now without a wife and kids to pay for and protect or something? Again, this always comes down to male insecurity and it's why men get so upset and aggressive other it.


LOL. Seriously? You clearly just see women by their reproductive worth. Marriage doesn't stop this and men aren't going to stick around just because of it. Anyone is free to leave the other person at any point and men are still going to trade in their wives for a younger model if they can even if it's at their own expense so don't act like marriage is doing women a favor. I think it's more likely the case that you are worried about the woman leaving you and I find this is usually the case why men even get married in the first place. Marriage is very rarely a priority for men these days and is usually the women's idea that they just get roped into it out of fear of being abandoned or being cock-blocked. I'd just say no, but men probably don't want to lose the pussy on tap and end up fat, bald and all alone so they compromise and try get a legal contract or some kids to ensure they'll at least stick around for a bit and not abandon them. Poor souls.


I think this is where you get opinions mixed up with facts. In your mind you like to think of them as discontented without a man, but I think the opposite is more likely true. There's probably many more sad old lonely men that end up on the scrapheap hating and blaming women in the process.


Oh, so only men pay for taxes and social security and women are the only ones that use it? I thought you liked paying for women any way? This is where your misogyny really becomes apparent. Some people just need somebody else to blame for their own problems or failings but the only people they should be blaming are themselves. Maybe you should go live in Nigeria like the op if you want a women who will be your own personal assistant and loyal to you until the day you die. Try find one in a tax heaven as well if you're so against taxes:

https://www.fool.com/investing/general/2014/01/04/10-countries-with-zero-income-taxes.aspx

Take your pick:

    United Arab Emirates.
    Oman.
    Bahrain.
    Qatar.
    Saudi Arabia.
    Kuwait.
    Bermuda.
    Cayman Islands.

I would recommend Saudi Arabia for you. They treat women like you would probably like to over there.


By benefits you mean what? I don't see any benefits in marriage, but if you wanted to get married and were smart then there's a thing called a pre-nup. OR just don't get married. I don't get why people need a bit of paper and ring. It's meaningless. I think what you probably actually want is just a maid and a prostitute (which is essentially what marriage used to be). Would probably be cheaper for you in the long-run as well.


Checking out as in suicide? That's again to do with toxic masculinity and their inability to handle or deal with their insecurities and the failures that they often feel.


Who are you blaming for the break up of a family unit and rising divorce rates on exactly? Women? Feminism? Don't get married. That solves that problem. Marriage obviously doesn't guarantee a family unit staying together forever either and staying together just for the kids just does more damage. And are reproductive rates actually dropping, and if so, why is that a problem? Last I heard over-population is a big issue and is only going to get worse. Not sure why the world needs more kids anyhow.


Are you one of these dinosaurs that thinks everything used to be better in the good old days and the world is quickly going to hell in a hand basket? Things are far from perfect and never ever will be, but things are a lot better for both men and women in today's society, but not if you just want to treat women as cattle and use them to meet all your needs, and sorry for you, but those days are long gone and good riddance to them.


Marriage was around a lot longer before god. Religion just hijacked it.

Wow. I can tell there is quite a bit of repressed anger and about 3 dozen other complexes going on here. You seem to know so much about me personally, but we hardly know each other.

No one is advocating removing free will from any human. If you can let the rest of that steam flying out of your ears dissipate, you might hear that my entire point was that people (such as yourself), teach women it is some how wrong, demeaning, degrading, or unacceptable to live in a traditional lifestyle, and this needs to stop. Your massive screed here is the perfect example, so thank you for that demonstration.

Let me tell you my opinion on marriage. Whatever you do, you will make mistake, so if you decide not to get married you will make mistake and if you decide to get married you will also make even bigger mistake. The only difference is that you can get kids out of marriage, and that is the only thing worth living for.

To sum up, yeah it can be a punishment if you look at it that way, but is it worth it, sure it is. Much better than being alone.

Unfortunately, this trend does exist.This is not a good trend.Family is comfort, mutual understanding and love.In addition, many women can also earn more than men.I think women let men insult them.I know a married couple where the husband beats his wife all the time, but she still loves him very much.How to explain the behavior of this woman, if she herself allows to do so.

The repressed anger here is probably coming from you and I can certainly think of a few reasons why. You already said everything I needed to know, but care to name the three dozen complexes I have since you're an expert psychologist?


Again, more strawmen that you're just making up to suit your argument. Maybe you should actually read what I wrote because your entire "point" is moot and irrelevant because I've never told or taught a women it's wrong to live a 'traditional' lifestyle and I wouldn't tell them what I think they should or shouldn't be doing like you. I'm perfectly fine with men or women playing a 'traditional' role if that's what they're happy with and consent to, but I'm not happy with people expecting either men or women to fit into certain molds that cannot be changed because it can be incredibly damaging and stifling. I even explicitly stated so in my first response to you that you conveniently ignored:


But you flew off the handle assuming everything about me and just making things up that I never said. Are you seriously angry because you genuinely think it's people like me that are to blame for ruining your chances of having your own doting Stepford sexdoll till death do you part? That's crazy. I have played no part in that, but I'm happy that domestic servitude isn't their only option these days. I think women just grew some balls and realized there's more to life than them just being a mother and a maid as a career, but if that's what they want to do then cool. I'm sure you'd still find something to complain about if that's all your wife actually did.


You've clearly made a very convincing argument here /sarcasm, but I've come to expect this sort of deflection on here when an intelligent argument cannot be made. Whenever someone complains about something being a 'screed' or 'missive' that's just a convenient way of getting out of having to actually make an argument.

It simply depends on the angled it's viewed from,marriage can be both a blessing and a sort of punishment,getting married to the right person who will always be there for you in both good and bad times is the best feeling ever.
  Most times marriage can be a punishment if your lover turns out to be a thorn in your flesh,or if you find it difficult to control your sexual urge,you may find yourself regretting the fact why you got married,since you still have the desire to explore  ;D
  So before getting married you have to be ready for it's various commitments and be sure you're really in love with your partner,as marriage is not always a roller coaster ride,there are numerous bumbs on the way.

It is a partnership of two people who want to commit to one another. Marriage is love, work and compromise. It is mutual-respect. happiness and sometimes frustration, but people in marriage are tend and willing to find solution.

absolutely not it's not punishment its honest, kind and understanding life.who is a marriage both need good understanding honest and kind. they had kids its come same like kingdom,
who marriage not understanding, honest, kind each other its come punishment.

For all of the above, I will just say a few words.
In Marriage both have to know each other very closely, They must have some patience by which they can get close to each other, They should live with love, They should listen to one and each other and do not take quick decisions/steps, The most important of all they should know how to trust each other.
I believe that marraige is the most fine/purified relation you can have the most loving one. Once you are greatly bounded with each other you can live your life easily whether you are financily healthy or not or whatever the reason is.

In my opinion, the idea of marriage has become a problem in the society because it isn't as voluntary as it should be. Many people are being forced into marriage either by the spouse, the society, parents, for public figure, and a lot of biased reasons. This has disallowed proper consideration of the pros and cons of a marriage relationship which in essence leads to disasters. Marriage should not be forced and everyone should understand it's not as important as it is portrayed. Less people should be married.  Our society needs to becomes less concerned about people's marital status for weighing responsibility and opportunities.

If you are married and you absolutely believe that marriage is a sort of punishment then I think that you are married to the wrong woman and man. Though there are problems in any relationship I don't think that it should be a sort of punishment.

Marriage is just a tool for women to steal wealth from Men.  It can also go the other way, For Example: Britney Spears owes Kevin Federline a lot of money.

It depends on what region and culture you are from I think.
In the west marriage is more of a business contract than anything.
It has been institutionalized and lost its meaning.
In your example it sounds like religious dogma is the root cause of the poor attitude towards the relationship.
In both cases the root cause is Money and the institution of religion or government which are really the same thing.
It's about the power and control of the few over the many. Invoke the word of god and you somehow have the right to rule free people...
I've never bought into the bullshit. As far as I'm concerned we are all from the same source no matter what your belief system is based on.
Divide and conquer has always been the way of darkness in the world and the few who manipulate the masses will be held to account for their crimes.
As far as money goes, in the current system money is the root of evil. We need to overthrow the shackles of government and religious slavery and start living our lives in a higher plane of consciousness.
The male/female union is as the balance of nature. Each has a role to play to bring harmony to the union.
If you allow the institution of government or religion to guide your views of marriage then you are destroying the harmony and probably don't even know it.
Time to look in the mirror and take responsibility for your choices.

everyone wants marriage, only stupid and abnormal people who don't want it, but not everyone who gets a marriage, even until his death the marriage doesn't come. so marriage is the most beautiful gift that God has given us.

this reminds me that when I was single. I am a hypocrite, a bad man, a drug addict and a rebellion to parents, everything I do is useless.

but after my marriage a lot of things changed, especially when I had to meet household needs and also during my wife's pregnancy. all of that makes me have to be a better person and I don't want my child to be a bad person like his father before.

now I live happily and become a much better person before I get married, this is the most beautiful gift from God and if not for marriage maybe my life would not be as beautiful and happy as this.

Good points to have an accord on!

The fine balance that constitutes the marital status of union / one, is reflected in the fundamental fabric that undergirds and sustains civilizations throughout the ages: the nuclear family.

Mess with marriage, and by implication the nuclear family, for long enough, and you will witness the demise of the species as a whole! In fact, it is inevitable and plain math.

The replacement fertility rate is 2.1 children per female roughly speaking. In more than half of nations worldwide, (and growing in number), there is an alarming rate of decline in births, to the degree that with projected ongoing statistical calculations,  human species will short before long, meet its final demise as it sinks into oblivion of extinction.

The unjust past of unfair practices of despotic rule in all manner of responsible positions, from familial to governmental, have at long last been challenged by our liberator - Science!  :)

It takes two to tango - the offspring of a couple is not the sole contribution of the male, but a partnership of fusion of an egg cell and a sperm cell. This relationship is not 100-0, 90-10, 80-20, 70-30, 60-40, but in fact 50-50.

Along comes birth control and emancipation of woman to take control of birth, the outcome of which is the bedrock of a successful continuation of a civilization.  The relationship in a partnership (marriage) is 50-50, as is evidenced by its biological antecedents, a strong case is to be made and now we see the repercussions of its success: falling birthrates in major countries worldwide and an increase in number of countries worldwide,  rates diving far below sustainable @2.1 roughly: a Humanity in decline, on its way to extinction:

A few examples will suffice - United States 1.886 children per woman
                                       - Russia         1.751 children per woman
                                       - Germany         1.47 children per woman
                                       - China         1.635 children per woman     (Source: worldpopulationreview . com/countries/total-fertility-rate/)

 
Something's gotta give.
A new balance to be found and respected.

I think that marriage should not be thought of as a punishment for the female gender. Marriage should be seen as a blessing, as a safe place for both genders to treasure for the rest of their life. Being married and having a family is one of life's greatest goal to be achieved. Having someone care for you and loving them in return is just pure joy. Marriage should be a relationship that both genders could benefit from.

For me, marriage is not a kind of punishment. Many people choose the right person for them, they make sure that they knew every single thing about a person they want to marry. And once they already feel that the person he or she wants to be part of their life, and get married its a fulfillment for them and not a punishment.

Marriage is union of man and woman. Its also a school where one have gotten a degree but still in the school. From the happenings of today, Women getting older than their husband after marriage is really a bad omen. Women are not to handle all the works alone... I admire one Mr Andrew on how he cooks and sometimes wash for his wife, both couples are getting young everyday.
In conclusion to this, I urge that an institution to be established on how to educate people before and after Marriage. Men take care of your wife, don't let society influence take care of your family.

Marriage is not a punishment for men
Which is the result for 1 process when two people love each other
though, it would be a bigger responsibility for the man

For me marriage is not a punishment Marriage is one of the greatest gift of God to people it is the time when you will have to face your life with a companion . Maybe sometimes you struggle but even this happens there will be always happiness if you love someone and someone loves you. just like btc .. btc is nothing without its partner the people itself..

I think it's probably. If you truely love - marriage isn't change anything!

Marriage is a sort of punishment to the NIGERIAN woman, being a Nigerian and taking a cue from my society the Nigerian woman is everything in the home, she cooks, cleans and does all sorts of household chores by herself, by that i mean without househelps. Most of this women also work in offices, at the end of the day they are exhausted, over worked and tend to look older than their age.

Marriage as instituted by God is not made to be a punishment.  It is not a punishment when both the man and woman understand themselves and their individual roles and respect each other.  Some marriages are  punishment ,especially in  Nigeria. So many  Women are maltreated and abused all round by their husbands and have remained in such marriages. I had a personal experience about this.

Without proper understanding between each other in future it is going to be a punishment for sure, in some countries women are treated as slave but not everywhere it means that women is ignorant about her freedom and living her life as a slave.But who is smart enough will choose their partner who helps her in every kind of situation.

Perhaps there is a role play for every family and gender but then, if you can really look at the series of activities men do as per work and most of the weighty duties, the line of thought might be different and complimentary.

I have mostly noticed that in Africa only where such punishment happened, it is been said before the togetherness that whatever should happen in the marriage should be controlled by both. Now, this thing you might have think is punishment is a culture in different place unlike that can't be done in America, African especially have that respect for their husband as cautioned by wife parents, and this is the most vital role a woman must play as a good wife.
Here it is, its all depends in agreement of responsibility, not all husband can do the cooking, nanny, housekeeper, cleaning, things so you can't expect that from him, its takes few men to do all of that on a natural level. The end point of every marriage is peace and love, so if any of the partners is not feeling cheated, bullied, oppressed, so its a good one for the woman to continue the hard work.

marriage is not a punishment but a process of survival..  life must go on, you work all your life, you will definitely leave behind your wealth and it would be very strange if you only gave up the wealth that you are painstakingly looking for to other people who are not your descendants.  Marriage is not as cruel as many people think, many say that getting married will only create new difficulties such as children and other costs, it is true that when you get married it will create new difficulties, but when you get married you will find a new focus and new purpose, which is to make your wife and children happy.  therefore, if you have found suitable opposite sex then immediately get married..

Marriage seems a life model of the past. The world is changing in the last decades. With 50% of the marriages today falling its really the question why go into that risk of just divorcing in 10-15 years? The world moves so much faster today than in the past. None of my closest friends are married yet, most of them in a relationship for more than 5 years and still not interested in marriage. Same for having a family. Now with 30 years even the woman don't want any kids yet. Its more about having a good job and life. Maybe this will change in 5 tears again. Who knows.

Marriage is an integral part of every human life. It is not a punishment but marriage is required to play the role of one's family in life. From the point of view of Islam, marriage has been made obligatory on every man and woman. according to the current situation in the country people are getting established first and then getting married. Age is not a barrier here. It is not a punishment it is the security of old age and it is an attempt to respect each other.

We know about the way you treat your 9 year old brides. Different understanding of the age of consent is really not the best point to make in this discussion unless you want to talk about pedophilia.

The problems you talk about are real. The reasons for them are several.

The woman was made by God to be the helper for the man. That's why she is out there doing all the errands she does for the man. It's also why she allows herself to get into positions of overwork. It's in her nature to help the guy.

Everybody likes riding high. Because of this, the man forgets the hard labor that the woman is doing. It shouldn't be this way. But it happens. To make it worse, often the man has a mean streak.

The man should be loving and considerate, and help the woman. If he is, he finds that the woman (usually) will help him all the more. But guys are stupid in this way, much of the time.

Guys need to remember than they will lose their strength and get old sometime. They will need children to help support them. Women bear the children and do much of the raising of the children. Since mom is loved greatly by the children, it will be to dad's benefit to treat mom right. Then the kids won't be against dad. Rather, they will help him in his old age, just like they learned from mom to do while they were in their formative years. After all, kids might love their dads. But they won't be so happy with him if he doesn't treat mom right.

8)

It all depends how the mom will raise the kids.  There are kids that will kill thier parents all for insurance, tis been happenning every time. I would rather be alone and old in the Retirement house than living with kids that you know will slit your with just one signal from their mother.

You know what makes hell for a family?  Its the in-laws.

Dads and moms need to raise the kids jointly. Anybody who doesn't treat his kids right - with both discipline and love - isn't going to have right kids. However, you can treat some people in the best way possible, and they will still be bad. Most kids won't kill their parents if their parents treated them right while they were growing up. In fact, there are kids who live in poverty who, after they are grown, still treat their parents with great respect.

8)

If you are going to raise a kid who is not going to bother about killing their parents just to get money then the parents are to be blamed.People rarely do the things as you said for some hate towards their parents basically due to the sex abuses in their childhood.

Well, all depends on the type of person one choose as a life partner. Woman needs to be treated like a royal queen always while providing all the necessary assistance that will make her most comfortable.

To my own observation marriage is a directive from God to human kind, the Lord made it clear that we should go into the world and multiply.

I have two brothers and that's what our mother often tells them — that just because they are guys doesn't mean they shouldn't know how to do household chores. Guys and gals should both know how to work inside the house. Same in marriage. They should both work for the good of their relationship.

I know I'm not in a position to say this for I am not married but this is my belief. Marriage should not be a punishment but a partnership. Both of them have to work together to make things work. It takes two to tango, as a saying goes. Man may be the one who takes home money for their living but they should not mistreat his wife. And vice versa.

Really? If he wanted then he could simply created the number of people he wanted than asking them to multiply on their own. ;D

And to multiply the marriage is not really needed, all you need is to mate with your opposite sex partner until she gets pregnant.

It's not always the fault of the parents. Children can have genetic inclinations to violence. Some kids are born with psychopathic tendencies and if parent's don't notice it early those tendencies will continue to develop. It is partially the fault of the parents but the kid doesn't have to be abused or neglected to become a murderer.

Marriage is not a punishment but a blessing for both the Man and Woman. There are few backward areas in third world countries where you will find women being treated badly after the marriage. However you cannot say this is because of marriage, in some areas women are considered as second citizens and this has nothing to do with marriages.

Marriage is a blessing for the family.

When a man and woman get together, there is an exchange of body fluids. This exchange provides both of them with immune system protections that they don't have, but the other one has. This is why marrying close relatives is not good. Rather, it's a build-up of immune system weaknesses.

The uniting done in the marriage is a protection for the offspring.

Having children is a trust issue. Like a trust, the man is the grantor, the woman is the trustee, and the children are beneficiaries. If people looked at it this way, they would either stop having kids, or become honest in their care for their kids.

Marriage can be a great blessing if done in the right way. But it can be like a curse if done in the wrong way.

8)

In modern days.

This is unlikely. To some, yes but if we're going to compare and include all of the marriages, there are unhappy and unhealthy marriages. I agree with you that it's all up to the person who he or she will choose the love of their lives.

It's a big factor which will have a big impact to their future.

I think that marriage is not a punishment, but that every person should strive for it and find their soul mate.
The problem is in society in general and more and more young people have a very negative view of marriage.
Various factors affect this, because financial instability, all these events in the world in recent years have led to people getting more and more divorced, unhappy in marriages, many getting married out of some interest and it is unlikely that such a marriage will last. fig.
Young people are certainly aware of this, because it happens not only around them but also in their families.
I am a child of divorced parents and from experience i can say that i have a certain extra fear of marriage and that i will not meet all expectations and that everything will end as with my parents.
I think that some fears do not only affect me, but a lot of children of divorced parents, and that as the years go by, it will get worse.

Is marriage a kind of punishment?


Only if your spouse had Covid-19 before you were married, but didn't tell you. :'(


 ;D

Wow this topic is almost 2 years old. Anyway, if your SPOUSE got COVID19 before you got married then there is a high chance of you getting the same virus already. Who would not bang his girlfriend when both of you were alone? For sure before you went ahead and decide to get married, there are so many chances of make outs.

People only hates marriage when both partners can't handle their relationship in a long term that they get sicked off with each others and have regrets, that is why they ended up getting a divorce and find a new partner in life. Just like Rick Sanchez have said in Rick n Morty that "Love is fake weddings are basically funerals with cake", meaning if you get married with the wrong person its like a punishment.

Couples need to date for a full year - or longer - without sex or any other intimate relations... and not even living in the same house together. Only then if they find that they are compatible should they get married.

8)

Marriage for me is sacred... you exchange vows and promised to love each other in sickness and in health ..for richer or for poorer till death do you part..and you promised that in front of Our Almighty God... I've been married for 6 years now going 7.. Before I got married I was a responsible daughter to my parents (well actually until now I am still helping them especially this Pandemic started) and a very supporting sister to my two older brothers..my husband was my first and last boyfriend/bestfriend..believe it or not, we got married after 6 months of relationship then we decided we want to be together..I never dreamed of him for being my husband but I prayed for somewhat like him who's not so perfect..before I met him I was a easy go lucky girl.. working in a well known company of BPO in my country as Customer Service..enjoying life of working at night and enjoying leisures and outdoor activities during morning..spend times with friends for Beer time during weekends and being so fragile and religious during Sundays.. Now, I am happily married with one kid..living with my lobing husband.. I work during daytime and work with my bitcoin during nighttime...and being a responsible mother and caring wife during weekends..my husband was a freelancer and not so active with his bitcoin right now because he enjoys much playing online games (which for me is a bit annoying...because bitcoin gives him a good profit while playing games makes him addictive and earn nothing) But were still happy and contented with each other..why? because we have huge trust and respect..if we encounter problems .. we talk about it before the day ends and make sure we fix it for the sake of our love for each other..

   It's like the old way! I am +40 and I know how my parents and grandparents used to date. It was similar like
you explained, first dating for a long time, after almost two years they got married. For me it was different,
I got married after 4 years of dating, but practically we started living together after 6 months. And it's not
like we needed to marry to show our love to each other, it was for papers, so everything can be legal. Now
when we have kids its easier when you are a married couple.
   I don't think my marriage is a punishment in any meaning of that word. But later I will ask my wife what
she feels about our marriage directly, because I think that she is happy with us, but maybe she will surprise
me with an answer.

Is marriage a kind of punishment?


Correction: Marriage is a kind of punishment!


8)

the word "punish" is no right here, then marriage is very good for man and woman both because it will support each other. if we don't marriage at adult then boys and girls don't do focus on their work. If they married then we can easily secure and success on future.because everyone has an aim in future, if we don't do marriage then our focus always goes on lust or other things.

how you can say it a punishment, its a need of both man and women. If it is punishment then it's for both, not just female

Marriage is not a kind of punishment,it just depends on the type of person you meet as either your husband or your wife.When you meet the right person,there is every tendency that you will love and enjoy the marriage,but when the person that's by your side is somebody that doesn't like or love you,it is then that you see marriage as a hell.

So many marriages seems to be like punishment and bundage indeed,because of the way they are been treated in the relationship.

Unfortunately we still have some old and very traditional thinkers who still see marriage as a rigid detail of responsibility, where a man works to get money and a woman handles all home responsibility. That is an old model of marriage. For me, in this dispensation, marriage is not so important, unless you really just want to. The primary purpose of marriage is for procreation and human companionship, not for any form of hard labour disguised as a responsibility. A modern marriage is one with an understanding amongst the pair. Before marriage ensure that you are getting married to someone who is not anchored to the old ways of thinking and not too rigid to change, that way marriage can be a smooth and good experience for both parties.

It' is not a punishment,  some African couples see it as a way of life which the woman do most of the house works while the man goes out for his daily activities.  In Africa most women don't prefer having a maid  expecially when the marriage is tender.

It seems to be like a punishment when there is no understanding between the couple.It is more like a purnishment when one person is dictatorial in nature and is not able to tolerate the behavior of his partner.As they say,that tolerance is a key to successful marriage or a the bed rock to every successful marriage.

Many marriages have failed because they lack these elements.There are so many reasons why marriage will seem like a purnishment to many,here are some of the reasons;
Lack of trust.
Dictatorship
Inferiority complex
Lack of understanding
Lack of child bearing
Poverty.etc.

So pathetic to hear this, inequality towards females in African societies worth looking into and going to their rescue. Civilization  should have taken care of this, but some societies still stick to their evil culture.

Marriage will only be a big punishment if you get married to someone who doesn't loves you. Many women are forced into married and they end up suffering. I don't think house chore are meant for the wives only. A man who truly loves his wife, will probably help her out. Is so sad, how many men thinks house chores are basically meant for the wives only, especially in most part of Africa. I agree with you, many women grow old faster in marriages, because they over work themselves. They don't have time for rest. However, In marriage, the husband and the wife are supposed to help, love and cherish each other.

Marriage can be a punishment for those who take it as a punishment and it can be joyful for those who enjoys it.
It depends on us what are we taking it for.
It's a kind of agreement between two to help each other in the time of need and be with each other in difficult times.
To love each other unconditionally and to hold hands forever

Here's one of major reasons for marriage. God made marriage to give glory to average people.

Moses, St. Paul, many of the prophets of the Old Testament and New brought people to faith. For them there is special glory for helping to save some.

But what about the average Christians? Usually they are not in positions where they can get hundreds or thousands of people saved. So, how do they get some of the glory that God shares for saving people? God gives them children who they save.

Marriage done right is a way to save people and get some of the glory of God for doing so.

8)

As an atheist myself, I'm against marriage, I find the whole ordeal pointless, from all perspectives. First of all, it's a giant waste of money, but first and foremost, it's against my beliefs. If you're together with someone and love eachother, it should be enough, I don't find it a punishment, however, it complicates things in case of a divorce.

I think women who live in such households deserve better men. It's a shame to accept the fact that there are indeed many husbands out there who assume they are super power and dominant in everything in the household. But the purpose of the household is not to create the dominant and the recessive, but to create cooperation and synergies that grow them together in facing life.

More and more marriages happens almost every single weekend of a week in my locality and a few divorce too. Some people just want to be married because, they feel there are at the age for it and so, its about time. Some others feel they would go into it because they love each other, others are been pushed by there parents and society to get it done with and as such, there is no proper orientation.

Marriage is a thing for matured minds, people who can easily understand each other and a bounded by love.  Love might get you entangled with someone and keep you going for a while but, once Some distasteful character begins to surface on either side, you begin to doubt your love and question your actions.

In Marriage, men and women knows there is a stratification within the family and even up to the duties of the parties. Its embedded within one's subconscious and a few people who are conscious of it would fined joy doing it. There is nothing wrong with switching places or lending a helping hand when needed but, duty is duty.
I take exception to lazy men and also women but then, its best to know when both parties are trying and encourage each other.

https://i.ibb.co/y6cnXCk/Unt.jpg (https://imgbb.com/)

To me marriage is not a punishment. Marriage is a blessing to me because all the reasons you gave I'm not satisfied with them you know human being I have different characters different behaviour and it's not when you are married you will try to show that character, a wicked man is always a wicked man, in this life attitude of a man does not change it can only be adjust. In my own religion marriage it's not compulsory because there's some certain rules he will meet before you can you can marry or be married. In our belief we are taught out to rule our home because our  religion cover Everything  good or bad if you do anything bad you'll be the one to face the consequences and truly in our believe you will be tested by your creator

there is something that cannot be avoided by humans, that is their nature. Women are basically created by God to take care of the family, while men are created to earn a living for the family. now it's just a matter of how the couple makes a promise, do they want to work together or just let one do the hard work.

Of course it is suppose to be a blessing not some kind of punishment to people, though it depends on how you are being treated in the marriage that makes it a punishment and also a blessing.Because not every man or woman knows how to handle their homes even in the Bible it is said that a woman will leave her family and marry a man to make up her own family so I don't see what's wrong in getting married and what makes it a punishment.

Though it might be sometime the character of the the both couple that will make the marriage like that because I know marriage is a blessing.

Marriage is not punishment but Marriage is full of responsibility which a husband and wife play their role for it to be balanced.  Normally the man goes out everyday to work or hustle to get money to provide for the family  while the wife if she have a job or not her responsibility is to take care of the home like house work and taking care of the children. Marriage is not punishment but it has big responsibility one can't run from.

Marriage should be based on love and affection. then if the marriage has been based on love and affection. then no man will want to burden his wife. because if the husband loves his wife then the husband will always pay attention to his wife and provide for all needs and treat wounds when injured and help work when the wife is tired.

as in Islam I found that a woman's job in the household is only to raise children and serve her husband. and the rest is the husband's responsibility. such as washing dishes, washing clothes and preparing food and earning a living are the obligations of the husband or man.
you can see it in arabic area. women there are like queens they are not burdened with heavy work in the household. because the husband if he feels he can't help his wife at home then the husband looks for a housemaid to take care of the work tasks that should be his obligations.

but I also see this sad condition in my country (asia). I saw a woman working for her husband. and her husband stayed at home.
when he came home from work the wife immediately cleaned the house. and it was a very suffocating sight.

Man is a social being. We creat some rules to maintain society so that we can live the society peacefully. Marriage is one of the social rule.  The concept of Marriage is the beginning, the beginning of the family and is a lifelong commitment. It also provides an opportunity to grow in selflessness as you serve your wife and children. Marriage is more than a physical union; it is also an emotional union.

Marriage is ordained by God, and it purpose is companionship not slavery,women are not slaves they are helpers,husband and wife suppose to work together and raise Godly kids,pray together, do house chores together, discuss and make themselves happy,chores are not only meant for women,also man is to provide for the family and woman will respect the man and care for the kids,and they should understand each other.

It can have its advantages
https://i.ibb.co/XCZ4tNC/Untitled-2.jpg (https://ibb.co/LZzP1bZ)

It would depends on you and your partner on how you would act and treat each other,
It could end up as a punishment if they wouldn't work it out, respect and care for each other.
I think those who feel that marriage is a punishment are having a hard time with their partner because they aren't how they are before they got married,
The spark,fun,thrill or flirting is gone it isn't how they were before.

Marriage is the union of a man and a woman where both promise to be there for better or worse. There are people who are trash and take advantage of marriage to be parasites. But this does not necessarily imply that marriage is a punishment.

It depends on where you end up,and who you end up being with that determine how the situation will look like.
If you marry a wicked or bad person,then surely the marriage is going to be a war to you.

The only complications in marriage is the way one must be open in everything he or she does,no privacy,no secrete,and forever committed to only one person.

How can you know the wife that is wicked and wife that is not wicked, no person is wicked it depends on the husband's character because the character of a man will bring the bad character of a woman, you will notice punishment in marriage when you have nothing to do and woman provide almost 70% of daily bread

As it applies to a man so it is applicable to a woman, lesson notes:
Marriage is honourable and meant to be enjoyed and not to be  endured
Don't expect to get the love you dont give in return, love each other
Pray together, plan together, dine together and let your best friend be your spouse
Don't create an illegal external affairs with other women outside your matrimonial home
Be a responsible man that pays attention to detect any discrepancies in marriage
Woman should also love her husband with the wholesomeness of her being
Create quality time worth reckoning with your partner to hangout
Did you both start your relationship with friendship then courtship before marriage or your marriage is a mistake as a result of pregnancy.

First and foremost marriage is a sweet and honorable thing that is if u meet the right spouse, but it serves purnishment to those who get married because of one thing or the order, for instance, a lot of ladies nowadays get married cause of money but at the end of the day they suffer it when the man goes bankrupt, some men get married  because of beauty but when the beauty fades,they also suffer it.If the wife gets engaged in an accident they'll feel they are been purnished,that is why the foundation of any relationship should be based on love, trust.

But at hundred percent of women, forty five percent want to base on their husbands, women are diabolical. Some of women know their boundary adjustment but they will not to operate in such way, only thing that will make a man to live with woman with out problem is the man is ready to accept to be wrong almost every time issues are present

In my opinion, marriage is not a kind of punishment if the marriage relationship is good between husband and wife. But if there is not good relationship between them then it becomes dirty. Treating with wife badly may hurt her turning into a kind of punishment.

You could never be more wrong with your mindset. Just because a small percentage of people arpund you is like this, it doesn't mean that most men are like what you are saying. Right now I am telling you, not all women feel bad being married. If there is somebody to blame, then blame the chain that binds the children to become what they are when they grow up which is bad culture or tradition. If parents do not dare to change and break this cycle nothing will change. The only thing you can do is spread awareness and make sure your children and grandchildren do mot follow such bad beliefs and practices.

Most atimes marriage seems like a punishment when evil befall you in ur marriage.Lets not forget that so many person's have died because of marriage and so called love.

Some person marry into a place that they don't like them,and in that kind of place,if care is not taken,your life will be terminated because of marriage.

In some parts of the world they see marriage as a do or die affair,while some parts don't see it too important.  But in all,meeting the right person is all that is important.

I see your point. But such things only happen to those who do not know how to have a proper balance between logical thinking and emotional thinking. Too much of anything is never good for anyone. So marriage itself isn't the one who should be taking the blame but the two people within it that acted rashly in the spur of the moment. Which is why divorce came into being so that people who make such mistakes can break free(except for countries that do not legalize divorce). I pity the children though that gets implicated because of the bad decisions of the parents.

For different perspectives, marriage is : sacred, reputation saver, a bridge or a prison. But no matter how it is viewed, the fact that it is a result of a set of prior decisions from both parties never changes.

No, marriage is not a kind of punishment. However, marriage becomes impure if there is no mutual understanding between couples. It becomes punishable. So, couples have to understand to each other.

There is difference between mutual understanding and the culture of the people. Op mentioned some countries, so we need to know if it is the culture of the people of that place or it is a matter of understanding.
If it is culture what do we say about people that practice feminism.

Exactly! Compatibility is the major criteria for marriage,the partners must see that they are very compatible before they will choose to marry,else the marriage will turn to be a tug of war.

Most persons marry when they've not known their partner well,and when issues come up,they find it difficult to solve it.

It would seem that in your country is kind of a social mandate for females to get married, so there will be cases, many cases, in which it can be considered a painful situation as it is not a choice that they can make and I assume that many times, they get little say on the choice.

It all comes to education and culture. If you think of Scandinavian and central European countries,  even most regions in Southern Europe, the roles are much more balanced. They key is allowing women to get educated and they will never accept a secondary role.

Saying of treating the woman like a queen. This thing is culture by culture. There is some culture that does not permit the woman to do anything in the house for a particular number of years. There is also a culture that says that women will remain in a particular house and fo nothing apart from eating.
Some culture also do not allow women to work or do any other things apart from being house wives. But people are mixing up and those cultures are going down.

Let me make another point. You two can search on the internet and see the situation of India and Pakistan also China. There are many cases in these countries where a girl is married to someone much older than she is before she reaches the age of puberty.

They are forced to consent to the marriage and even if they do not consent, they are forced to marry, their potential future is ruined.

I'm not saying this happens to everyone or that marriage is a punishment for everyone. But a large section of the population suffers from it and marriage to these victimized girls is hell.

Actually, The situation after marriage is even more horrible ...
The girl has to face marital rape all the time and as a result, she gets pregnant at a young age. We all know the horrors of early pregnancy. Either she gives birth to a disabled child and then she has to be abused by others including her husband.
There are also cases of getting pregnant at a young age and dying while giving birth.
So, marriage is not fantasy for everyone, Some poor girls are continuously suffering by this grinder.

The challenge with marriage in Africa is because of its Patriarchal orientation. Men are seen as superior to women. If a man pollutes in the presence of his wife, she tells him "thank you". Men's decision are final, regardless of its consequences on the wife.

But times are changing now. Education and globalization are turning everything around. The reason for the high rate of divorce in Africa now is because women cannot take this maltreatment anymore. Now parents would advice their daughter to seek divorce if the man is misbehaving. But before now, divorce was seen as a taboo.

I have been married for years and respects my wife so much. In fact every decision is debated and rectified by both of us.       

I want to know whether what you call the patriarchal orientation which you said is the major problem of African marriage is an African culture or it was just imported. If it was Africa culture, does it mean that Africa culture is being killed by civilization?
In my own part of the world, there is a great respect for human right. Whether you are the man or the woman, it does not really matter, the law threats every one equal.

  True, marriage is not supposed a punishment, but it depends if you choose the wrong man or wife that could be your decision and not be a punishment you just decided on getting a partner in life cause you are in love and you want both of you to become one forever. Planning marriage is difficult so better to choose a perfect partner.
 

No, marriage is not a punishment, is a bond union,the Bible said he that find a wife find a good thing, marriage thereby depends on the type of choice you make in choosing a oartnet,either man or woman, it depends on you, if you both love yourselve it's
till depend on you both. So marriage is not a kind of punishment if you choose the right partner.

Mariage is never a punishment not at all,why most people see marriage as punishment is because they rushed into marriages, and by rushing you tend to marry the wrong person, marriage is a lifetime commitment,you and your spouse together forever, one should consider this before getting into marriage, you and whome you want to Marry should take time to study and understand yourselves,because some people can really pretend while dating, when you marry them for some weeks or months you see the real attitude coming up or being displayed, when you both know and understands yourselves no one would take marriage as a punishment it will be enjoyment all through.... Remember till death do ou part, this alone should make u consider before getting into marriage.
Marriage is actually a blessing from God and not  punishment.

Marriage is never a punishment, it is union of a man and a woman to become one, it ever woman and every man dreams to have a family and to build a home.

The word PUNISHMENT is the lack of understanding between the two partner, no one wants to lie low for the other the two partner want to be on top.

Secondly Lack of communication: in a home where their is no communication there will never be peace and so on.

In conclusion marriage is never a punishment the punishment is the two partners who are lacking behind in marriage.

Marriage should not be a punishment it should be enjoyed, stress free journey, it should be a place where all intending  ladies aspiring  for marriage should feels like a queen in her palace but reverse is the case for most women  due to the problem and pressure encountered by them from husband and in-laws.
Some African men are authoritarian,callous, senseless, self-centered, stingy, with the thought of have made provision for all needs without bothering to give helping hands to the wife turning her to his slave those that are even jobless amidst them always proves being boss over their wife with no sense of any responsibility.

Marriage is a blessing,it is a thing of joy,it is a school that every man and woman needs to go,and it has no graduating date.The date one can graduate is when one is dead.The main purpose of marriage is for child bearing,or procreation. When there is no children in the marriage,it most atimes bring problems between the couple,or sometimes it leads to divorce or seperation.

Hmmm,l don't really understand your concept on this aspect of marriage or punishment, l can really believe that marriage is punishment brother is depends of the people involved,so my brother marriage is something God honour and the first miracle God perform was in the marriage,an also depend on the understanding of the people involved,infact the truth about marriage is understanding.

Bro, it's just hilarious,  :D
Baby production is a part of our life but it is not the main purpose of marriage,,  ;D
I've seen many couples who are failed to birth baby for various medical conditions, sometimes the problems appeared on the wife's side, and sometimes the husband's inability to birth baby.
But, still, they are leading a happy family life.

It is nothing but the poor mentality to divorce someone when she failed to birth baby. No one can do such a nasty thing except people having 3rd class mentality.

it depends a partner can be quite useful not howerver if you both are communists living in a highly taxed country, like germany japan or south korea,

some countries had so much left wing taxation that it has become pointless to marry and have children at all.

only god can help these societies to ever breed again on its own and survive the immigration refugee lobby that tells them fairy tails about good and reliable migrant labour

Marriage is not a punishment, husband and wife their role to be played in the family  Marriage involve planning from the couples for things to be easy for the family. That is why couples need to have good agreement concerning the responsibility of the family  to keep moving easily.

This question needs a cognitive thinking, slow down thinking before responding, because from the looks of things punishment when you not possessed all the requirements of house management before getting into marriage life, marriages is some thing that needs adequate plans before two couples will go into it, some one who don't have shelter enter into marriage were will the born and unborn children will rest and in which way will they put food to their table for feeding with planing well before marriage, we are just looking at marriage in one way

Marriage is not meant to be a punishment in any way, in fact it's meant to be a blessing. As a Christian, it's true that scripture states that women should respect their husband, in fact I'm Genesis 3:14, God told Eve that she would be subjected to her husband (Adam) as the consequence for disobeying God, but this does note mean that wives should become a victim of domestic violence or maltreatment.
The scripture also say in Colossians 3:19 that Husbands should love their wives and not be bitter against them, another part of the scripture says Husbands should love their wives as they love their body. Therefore, Love is the principal thing, marriage is a blessing, not a curse!

The way couples are taking marriage this days it looks as if marriage is a punishment. The character one of the partner maybe exhibiting it can be a problem to the partner in the marriage by not having peace of mind. Some problems that a faced in marriage caused untimely death sometimes,  marriage is not supposed to be a punishment but rather a blessing.

Marriage is not a punishment,rather it is a blessing,because the purpose of marriage is for recreation  and bearing children,that is why when a marriage fails to produce children,it used to cause misunderstanding and breakups between the couple.
Marriage can therefore seem to be a punishment when the partners do not understand each other,and are unable to tolerate the ill behaviours of their partners.
It is known that tolerance,forgiveness,the ability to say sorry when wrong,and faithfulness are the rudiment of a marriage.Those are the only factors that can keep or sustain marriage.And when those qualities are not in the partners,they have problems which leads to breakup and seperation.

not every one knows the principles of marriage mostly amateur marriage live, people who is government or big industrial farm don't see marriage as punishment because what they needed to make them happy always there in the family. In my way of founding what can difficulty in the marriage is when the understanding of the wife is not enough to understand the husband for moment it will look marriage live is punishment, and anything that can make marriage look like punishment is lack of ability to provide food for the family

Well, it depends on a lot of factors. If the girl is not having enough abilities to make herself worth then yes, she can struggle. But if she holds her worth by any means, like beauty, attitude, money, profession or anything else then no, no one can make her slave or make her a servant. Same goes for guys. If a person is useless in life, no body is going to take care of him, he'll be a walking stealth person. And would matter nothing to anyone. One has to have its value. Be handsome, work on your physique, make money, or learn how to use the stuff that is between your teeth. And everyone is going to respect you.

Married people are defined as being legally or formally united as partners. When a marriage begins to suffer, it is quite confusing when so many people are making love. It's a result of short time spent together, but in married it's a long-term affair. Do not be confused about who you love. You are in love with the right person when you have some similarities in your character, respect for your partner, and interests and habits. Nothing will go wrong but you will be happy. We have different stories, but we don't get confused by what marriage really means.

Ending up with the wrong person's oftentimes leads to punishment, insults, beating and the rest which is not assigned to the man and the Woman when they exchanged vows at the alter or before a priest.
Should not be a punishment but in some part of the world both women and men have gotten what they did not venture all of this is as a result if bad courtship and getting to know whoever you are into very.
It is bad to see that most women are big victims of this punishment.

I agree with you some how. When mistakes are made like this in marriage we can't go back what is supposed to be done is for partners to learn how to tolerate themselves, nobody is perfect but if we learn how to be tolerate and love each other every marriage will be in peace.

If marriage is a kind of punishment, then the question should be, a punishment for which crime? Love!!!! Marriage should be a mutual agreement between two partners who love each other and are ready to spend the rest of their lives together. One of the reasons for frequent divorce cases is the fact that people do not know why they are getting married.

Some persons are concerned about the wedding ceremony which will only last for few days and thereafter they begin to notice each other's flaws and complaints starts. The moment you do not marry your friend and you plan to start studying your partner after wedding, then you have gotten it twisted. Many divorce cases wouldn't occur and no gender will be maltreated if both parties love each other genuinely regardless of their imperfections.

You're talking about the reality which is kind of true as well but this is how the marriage was supposed to be, kind of mutual trade agreement you give money then I give my body either boy or girl? This isn't same few centuries before so the modern world changed the context of everything even the marriage so called love?

Marriage can be a punishment but not to everyone. While some people enjoy their marriages,some regret their decision to get married due to the mistake they made. Also it depends on both parties to decide if their marriage would be 'hell' or 'heaven' for them.
 For instance, couple who ignore their flaws and refused or choose not to sort it out, might see their marriage as a punishment. E.g, A guy physically abuse his partner during courtship on slightest issue and the lady in question decide to legally settle with such man without trying to resolve his character or seek attention to it, might eventually regret her action of marrying the man, thereby such marriage would be nothing but a form of punishment to her.

Marriage is one woman and one man who love each other. I think if we want to get married we have to see and see the person first. meaning is it true that people love us with the shortcomings and strengths that we have, or is it just lust?

there are many people who marry people who are not right and end in divorce. so I think that marriage is not a punishment. However, you must be able to choose your life partner correctly, so that you are always happy with him.

people who only follow their passions will fall into something wrong. You have to really love someone and accept their flaws and strengths. and mutually correct and complement those deficiencies. and choose roughly people who will always be patient with us.

women in general, especially nowadays, are always the ones who work the most. but know that not everyone is like that. there are many men out there working to meet the needs of their families. but there are also people who work for each other, their mother and father work, but their professions are different. that is, his father works in an office or a company, while his mother sells things at home to help her husband. so, it is impossible for all men in this world to rely solely on their wives to survive.

This is how trashy that kind of person is. I also noticed this today, but they were getting bashed and also left by their wife. I also noticed that they were also physically and verbally abusing their wife. Women are now stronger than I can see, because they will fight in these situations, unlike a few years ago, but sadly, I saw some families or individuals where the men are just relaxing while the women do their work. I'm hoping that the women who are going through this will leave their husbands and bring their children with them because that type of person is useless. 

Marriage has always been a dreaded issue for some people, some going as far as viewing it as an anachronistic institution with no value, but for some, it's fun and fulfilling and even rewarding only if you meet the right person and how you relate with your spouse.
 I think one can avoid the case of divorce and the many issues surrounding marriage if there's a bit of understanding between the couples, that's why most people observe a period of courtship to better understand who they're getting married to.

 
 

What you are describing is sad, but true in an unbelievably large part of the world. Men are educated in considering women cattle or even less. Some muslin clerics instruct the men on how to best beat their women, in many bits of Africa there is FGM (female genital mutilation) and there is a great difficulty in educating in general, so educating in gender equality and respect is out of reach completely.

Marriage feels like a punishment to many yes.

It is said that marriage is the grave of love. Before the two people lived together, there was still a magical feeling. After living together, they will gradually become less cherished. I always feel that the flowers and plants outside are very fresh, especially men are visual animals. , Once you get it, you will no longer cherish it. His wife does housework at home, and he feasts and feasts outside.

This has something to do with character and morality. Some men are weak outside and will only bully their loving wives at home. Marriage is not necessarily a grave. Marriage is the joint responsibility of two people when they meet the right person.

Responsible men feel guilty when they make mistakes, but like you said, they beat and dump their wives because they don't love their wives at all. What is the point of such a marriage? The right people can be mutually beneficial.

Marriage is a lifetime mission, which should not be rushed into based on anxiety,poverty or frustration. So many marriages are passing through this challenge because there was no courtship before marriage. Courtship enables both parties to know each other more and see if they can tolerate one another in life.

 I pity for women who are passing through this maltreatment from their husband,it is time Africa men see that their wives should be loved,respected and cared for by helping them in house chores.There is a tradition in Africa that if a man has paid the bride price of his wife,she becomes his property and he can treat her the way he likes,this custom should be abolish in other to help women from being slaves in their matrimonial homes. Love should be put first since the Bible says 'a man and a woman will be joined together to become one' whatever you do to your wife,you are doing it to yourself unknowingly because she is now part of you.

Marriage is an eternal partnership, so how can you say that marriage is a kind of punishment. if marriage is a punishment for you, then you have the right not to marry. are we here talking about equality, inequality, or do you mean that women are more tormented than husbands. what if we picture the situation upside down, women work hard to earn a living, and men take care of the household. is it fair, of course not at all and the result will always be the same.

The marriage, the consequences for the husband because the woman will no longer work, although this is not always the case.  women are very dependent on their husbands financially if women choose to stay at home, women will stay at home to perform domestic and child-care roles, as appropriate.

note: it's a big mistake when a husband imposes his will, even though it doesn't match his wife's type. gender partnerships are the only way to manage things as agreed.

Entering into a marriage there will automatically be a change in the status of women and men. single woman status, can work professionally. the role of wife, companion and lover of husband and household manager. role of mother, caregiver, protector, and child education. the status of a single man, can be a professional worker and have an appropriate position. the role of the husband, leader and protector of the wife. role of father, caregiver, protector, and educator of children.

For this partnership to be closely intertwined, values ​​such as mutual trust, respect, understanding, and most importantly having equal rights are needed.

If getting married is a punishment, how did you get out? Marriage is an advantage, not a disadvantage. Only when the partners are no longer in love with one another does it become poisonous. Marriage opens doors and delivers blessings.

in my country men and women marry because it is mandatory and both of them have agreed to have a relationship together to have a family. so there is no coercion or anything like that.
on average in my country a husband will definitely work hard outside the house to earn money and give it to his wife.
and the wife at home acts as a housewife who takes care of everything at home such as sweeping, washing, cooking for her husband when he comes home from work.

so no one punishes women when they are married because it's like working together to build a family.

I am not going to agree on Op on a few point listed. In the past African men did virtually everything has regard provision, shelter, love and protection for his family and in return the woman expressed support to the husband through running home chores, building the home, errand has op mentioned but on rare case. In today's Society women has almost equal rights with men but the fact that men still have to pay heavily to marry their to be wives still find a way to balance up for their loans after the extravagant wedding still find a way to run the house. The African men are trying yet we women still fail to recognise this.

if marriage was a punishment, then everyone would definitely not want to marry. how could marriage be a punishment.

it's just that, when you have a family, everything needs patience. marriage is where we love and protect each other, where we fight for each other and make the family the most comfortable place.

if there is a divorce in the family, then in my opinion, one of the parties is very selfish and only comfortable, without knowing the other party's troubles. so, if there is such a problem, the other party will be uncomfortable and feel unsuitable, and eventually lead to divorce.

Now the society subconsciously believes that women do housework and take care of children at home, men go out to work to earn money, and all the expenses of women have to be borne by men, which makes women have no money to work at home. In fact, women should break through the original limitations, and men should also share the responsibility.

Find the right person and have a wonderful marriage. Now with the changes of the times, it has become much better than hundreds of years ago. Marriage is for two people, and they should bear the burden together and help each other. I love my partner and I will not let her bear the trivialities of life alone.

Only get married if you have the confidence to do so and are aware of the advantages and disadvantages. Knowing about your own and your partner's male and female biology and psychology will also be helpful. One of the biggest issues I notice is that most people continue to view the world as completely artificial and like a Disney film. All of them either don't recognize their own conduct or overpromise and underdeliver, or they wait for their spouse to change. You are aware of how challenging change may be? Consider forming a brand-new habit or quitting a bad one. Now acknowledge that the companion you are with almost definitely also faces the same difficulty.

Spend a year going with a person before you make the marriage commitment.

Getting married shows that you are humble enough to admit that somebody else (your spouse) knows something that you might not... has a valid point of view even if it is different than yours.

Spending a year dating before committing helps you determine if your potential mate has this kind of humble thinking, as well.

8)

Lack of enlightenment has a lot to do with the marriage problem. Some people are countries are excessively traditionalized, and certain norms that only demonstrate cooperation and teamwork are viewed as absurd by both parties and the wider community.

Let me utilize this platform to encourage married couples, especially males, to study books and attend seminars without drawing attention to the actual problem. The only activity that can aid in repositioning uneducated brains seduced by conventional lies is this exercise. A guy can be as useful as a woman in more intelligent and better thought-out ways, and vice versa.
In terms of marriage, I think we are working in ignorance and need more understanding.

Divorce is also very easy to do for those who have enough money. There was no divorce before, and only a few people planned to leave their spouses or wives, but now there are plenty, and they will decide to split up, with their children bearing the brunt of the consequences. There are other people who still respected the wedding sacredness they made and adjusted themselves if necessary for the sake of the children. Back to the topic, it isn't punishment if both of you have an understanding of each other because one will adjust every time there is a misunderstanding.

No! Marriage as an institution that is ordained by God is not a punishment, but rather it's a blessing to the married. However, oftentimes people get married to wrong partners and regretted why they ventured into marriage.

^^^ Right!

God made people by breathing life into Adam, so that people would be made in the image of God, Himself.

Because of the way He set things working, He put His force into it. It isn't easy even for Him to change it.

So, why did God make it so that people have such an urge to get married and do the thing that brings about children? One major reason. So that He has an excuse to reward parents for bringing about the thing that He wants most... more people... especially godly people.

God is Almighty. He wants to reward all people for something. And He rewards parents for having children.

8)

I agree. marriage is not a punishment. it's just that, if a family's economy is bad, sometimes some people think marriage is not easy, become stressed, and eventually lead to anger that blames the marriage itself.

in that marriage we must be full of patience, because marriage is not only accompanied by people we love, but all have tests.

No, marriage is not a punishment. Marriage is a voluntary commitment between two people who love each other and want to share their lives together. It is a legal and social institution that provides support and protection for couples and their families. While marriage can sometimes be challenging and require compromise and hard work, it is not a punishment.

You are correct about the difficulties women face when they get married, but I can assure you that marriage is not a punishment. Instead, it is an equal partnership between two people that allows them to experience the joy of God through their shared cooperation, trust, respect, and faith. And for a man who understands the challenges that women face, joining in and helping his wife with household chores is crucial and necessary. However, some men are unable to assist due to their line of work, so a good man who understands the strengths of women can hire a housekeeper to assist his wife.

Marriage is never a punishment in any way in this life, we that are engaged in it makes it look like a punishment or like a prison that ones you're in there's no going back.
We men need to gain control over things that happen in the family same as the woman (having a mutual understanding) if not you start looking for who to issue out blames when things start going wrong.
Either the man might be making it hard for the woman to coup with the marriage or vise versa as the case may be and it will give others who ain't married a bad impression about marriage.

This phenomenon was quite common in the old society, and it has been relatively reduced with the changes of the times. However, some countries are indeed a bit unfair to women. They think that men and women are divided into high and low. Every family has a different way of getting along. But I hope it will get better in the future.

Marriage is not a punishment for women, it is about choosing the right person to marry. If your husband doesn't respect you, it's because he has no morals. Therefore, women must learn to protect themselves, know how to be independent, and choose the right person to spend their lives with.

Spending a year dating? Wow that's long! Anyways, I think one doesn't have to stay that long because genuinely, if he or she is bent on pretending just to get what they want, a year would seem like a month for them.
 Where I come from, it's mandatory to at least court for six months but prior to this courtship, you may want to seek God's will. I've seen people rush headfirst into marriage (courtship and all) but still end up unhappy and unfulfilled simply because it was probably not want God wanted for them.

Much of what God wants for people is what they want for themselves. God adapts to people in loads of ways.

The 1-year idea is from Dr. James Dobson... and, it is simply a guide.

People need to realize that when they get married, it is not control thing at all. Rather, it's almost exactly the opposite. It's a blending of two people... their hopes, dreams, ideals, and children.

People should get together with the idea of living their own lives almost separately at the beginning, and start getting used to each other. People need to keep from controlling the other, but rather, respecting the other person's life, even if it seems goofy or wrong in areas. That's what the year of dating is for... to see if it is going to work.


One of the main things to do is to abstain from sexual intercourse during the trial period. Why? Because sex is easy. And being easy and fun, it takes the focus off other things that may be more important for good living relations.

After the year (or whatever time), and the marriage is effected, then the sex part will be way more gratifying and enjoyable. Why? Because the couple has found that they are the right person for each other. They move into it with a firm foundation in their relationship.

This won't stop all divorces, but it will make marriages stronger, and it will lessen divorce.

8)

Marriage is not a punishment rather getting married to the wrong person is. Marriage is beautiful and most couples I know have blissful marriages and they are celebrating silver and golden jubilee. A man maltreating his wife or treating her as a slave has nothing to do with the culture or tradition it has more to do with the individual. This is the story of a man (https://twitter.com/BilalKareem/status/1610652617121595400?t=lUeAKHn-HQeiucl1z-Avcw&s=19) who despite getting married to 3 wives still helps out in the kitchen by doing the dishes sometimes. It is a personality issue not a cultural issue.

When people get it wrong in marriage  ,it may seem like a punishment especially to the weaker spouse  ,

marriage is a beautiful, pleasurable, promising and profitable partnership  ,

It is very important that people should marry  people that they love,  that they can tolerate, that can assist them to meet up in their shortcomings in finances, social life, qualifications , sexual activeness,  religious beliefs and so on.

And again,  it is good to  marry someone you're compatible with and have an understanding together because marriage will not always be rosy,  there will be up and down moments but understanding ,tolerance and good virtues will get you through when tough times surfaces

Remembering that marriage is the only institution whereby you got certified before starting, yet every marriage needs a tolerance for each other to be abke to adapt together, knowing that two has become one in union of a lifetime contract of together forever, marriage needs patience, love and endurance, this makes it a good thing that before any marriage comes in a courtship relationship to help get each other along.

From my perspective and the research I made so far I have understand that marriage is a punishment because when you have not understand your partner and you have not be able to know each character and happened to Mary and a little crisis involved into the marriage life it is when you will notice that marriage is a punishment for people that do not have understanding or is not capable of shortening or handling issues

Marriage is not punishment,I think marriage should be an aggrement between two persons of different genders that are in love.
it might be punishment if your are married to your spouse under duress, or you are been maltreated by your spouse, but the society today maltreatment doesn't come from the husband alone, I have seen women in marriage that maltreats their husbands..

But I will love to advise youths out there, please get married when you are ready, marriage is not a matter of age anymore, don't marry under peer pressure,
Marry because of love and peace, so it won't be a punishment as the time goes on..

There's no perfect marriage anywhere, marriage is all about love and tolerance,
 up till now my father and my mother still dey quarrel but them no divorce because them love themselves...

And before marriage, please you and your spouse should go for marriage counseling, seeks advices to know the duties of a man and a woman in their homes and abide by them...

Concerning house chores, I think the house chores are not limited to women alone, the men should help when they are less busy, the cleaning,the cooking etc,

I will take an example from my dad, for our house na my papa dey even cook pass, en dey always help my mama..

That is from your own point of view based on what you have seen or come a crossed, marriage is a wonderful thing, because "A" marriage is not working out doesn't mean the marriage that "B" and "C" are in is not working too. When one gets married to the right person, then you know that marriage is a blessing but when you marry the wrong person that is when you will see marriage as punishment. Marriage is an agreement between two people coming together to become one, so the truth of the matter is marriage is not a punishment, one just has to pray for him or her to find the right partner that they can spend the rest of their life with.

The truth of the matter is that marriage is not only about an expression of love between two people. It's legally and socially sanctioned institution which continues to benefit men at the expense of women, but not all men that have the upper hand over women, sometimes is the opposite. Particularly through reinforcement and maintenance of traditional gender role where men are the breadwinner of the family and the women does the house chores and taking care of the children, sometimes too it can be the woman who's the breadwinner but that doesn't stop the man from doing what he has to do as the man of the house and as the woman being the breadwinner she does the house chores that's in some cases not every women would do that after going out to hustle like the man (pride), the thing is just communication. That's why I said earlier that marriage isn't all about love, communication has a key role to play.

But what if your partner tends to be arrogant most of the time? It can be challenging to deal with arrogance in a marriage, especially if you're in a close relationship with your spouse. It may be necessary to set clear boundaries and consequences if your partner's behavior is consistently affecting your well-being. Yes, it may be possible to reduce feelings of arrogance and improve the relationship.

Marriage is a beautiful, people might see it as punishment when the resources to oil the marriage is not there, if you plan well before going into marriage you in enjoy it well

We have discussed on this particular chapter on page for a long time but I still said the same thing about marriage is understanding and the if you don't have the understanding you cannot get married and the last into the marriage life why some people said that marriage is punishment because then failed to understand the scoops of marriage from the beginning

But remember that marriage is something that we have to take as a knowledge and the marriage is punishment when you are not prepared to enter into marriage so it is when you find it as a very difficult things and also a punishment in life so I think that hope he is right by saying that marriage is a punishment

Saint Paul says it this way, 1 Corinthians 7:28:
Of course, Solomon says it this way, Proverbs 18:22:
Of course, Solomon was shrewd and right. He had a kingdom to run, and the more kids, the more future taxes, and the larger the military. But... of a truth, God wants more people to populate the world.

8)

Some people can never successfully get married. Any abusive husband shouldn't expect a smooth marriage. You can't treat your wife or husband as a slave and expect royal treatment. My heart bleeds each time I see a man treat women like trash. If you want the best out of marriage always respect your spouse both in the house and outside.

Before you get married you have to work on yourself. In marriage you must adjust because you can never get everything you desire, your wife or children will also make you endure some discomfort.

If you are not willing to tolerate and endure sacrifice, just forget about marriage because it's hard work. But I can vouch that marriage is a beautiful thing. I love my wife so much and I know she loves me more than I do. I have so much trust in her and she treats me and the children like royalty. I pray we grow old and take the path to eternity together.

For marriage to be said to be  imprisonment,that would depend on a whole lot of factors among which are the kind of person you married which ultimately would define your experiences.But in my opinion marital relationship is supposed to be enjoyable when the right keys that make for  successful union is engaged i.e knowledge and understanding

I worked with three brothers who had 22 siblings, all from the same mother. The kids are all grown up with families of their own, and the parents are wealthy now because of it.

8)

Saying that marriage is punishment for women will be misappropriation of the fact that we live in the world, I say this because in the world we live today we have different types of people with different views about life, those who see it as punishment are those who fail to understand the core values of one another in marriage. Some say the marry to have children while some others appreciate the union which he has vowed upon. For me I will say it is what a husband and a wife wants it to be.

It's a punishment if there's a mistreatment. There are serious relationships that ends up into being enemies because of their settlement. No closure and treatment didn't go well for both parties.
Marriage could really be a blessing for most but can also be a curse for some especially those fixed marriages and were just forced to worry due to some religious and business rules.

Right now I often watch TV series from India and it's about family and also husband and wife who have problems and eventually separate, a lot appears in the serial scene how the wife is not respected not only by her husband but also mother in-laws indeed this is just a fictional story but we can't deny that what is shown is often what happens in real life and in this story there are also couples who have no problems in their marriage because they can respect each other.
So marriage is not a punishment even unmarried people at the age that should be married is also said to be a punishment in many countries because their culture says so, marriage will be a punishment when we marry someone who cannot accept our existence by completely only seeing our partner as a person will fulfill our life's needs, the husband expects the wife to do all the household chores and the wife expects the husband to fulfill all their daily needs as well as her desires, marriage will be a happy thing if we can respect each other and are committed to continuing to make each other happy.

That is why before marriage do pre-marital counseling and equate perceptions about marriage and also whether to have children or not will be very important to avoid such problems.

yes. some of the reality that we see today is true as you say.
But not all men treat women like that after they are married. It is indeed a man's duty after he is married he is responsible for providing for his family. But apart from his job, not a few men also help partly or share time with their wife to do the housework.
In my opinion, it depends on how a man views his marital status.
The bottom line. Not all marriage relationships are burdensome to women.

Marriage shouldn't be a punishment at all. My experience  in marriage so far has been very amazing. Everything is all about understanding. My husband helps me do house chores when ever he can, but that doesn't make it his duty. I have always appreciated him for helping out and he does it on his on will. Don't treat your partner bad or as a slave. Love should lead us all.

If all they think they need to provide is money in marriage they are sadly mistaken and most likely a terrible husband. The whole point of marriage is to sacrifice for your spouse and provide and be a team player in every aspect. If you’re making the money you also can’t just have that be all you are is a money printer. It all depends on how the husband wants their relationship to be with their spouse. If they don’t care they treat them like shit, that’s wrong. On every level. If anything the wife’s job of raising children and running a household is harder than working and making all the money. You try and manage all your kids and households affairs 24/7 and I guarantee you will be begging your wife to take all that responsibility and work back and praising her for all she does. You should be praising your wife and uplifting her in every instance, regardless if you think you’re the shit and doing everything, you’re not, and you need to do more. Starting with being emotionally available to your wife to listen to what she needs and actively trying to make her situation and very hard and taxing job, physically and emotionally, much easier.

A marriage is not a punishment I'm already can be your punishment when you are not prepared to marry so if you are prepared to get money and you will see the sweetness of Mary in that marriage never one day be a punishment if it's a punishment for a pill that does not have money but incapable of maintaining their family or taking care of their family so it is people that will say that marriage is punishment to

From a biblical perspective the reason why God made a woman for a man was because it isn't good for man to be alone.... So we can induce that the foundational purpose of marriage was for mutual convergence of ideas, support and procreation. Now while one can say that procreation can occur without being in a marriage but for morality and upbringing of the children a team of 2 is needed for effective upbringing else the children won't maximize thier potentials.
So marriage isn't it punishment but a place where both parties can leverage on the strength of each other to achieve huge goals...

No, It is love.

For Muslims, it is the very first step to love love a girl and live with her( or him).

It is prohibited for Muslims making girlfriend before marriage.

So it is very important and first step .