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http://fm99.com/news/030030-happy-74th-birthday-chuck-norris/

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Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger by yelling, "Bang!"

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

What can you tell us about Chuck Norris?

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

Chuck Norris lost to Bruce Lee.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj2Zf9tlg2Y

I dont have a CN truth to add but I wanted to say that I love,love,love him! HBD CN!

Chuck Norris mines Bitcoin with mental math

I once asked Chuck Norris what time he wakes-up...
He said the sun doesn't rise until he does... (He sleeps late in winter.)

But I failed to get my answer, so I asked... No, what TIME...
That was the last thing I remember...
Now I have a fear of sun-dials... Now I don't wake until the sun sets!

I LOVE that one!

My $.02.

;)

Chuck Norris is the reason Satoshi is hiding.

I bet he's like a 47 year old man.

When Satoshi Nakamoto invented Bitcoin there was already 1 terabit per second of hashes aimed from Chuck Norris's computer to solve the genesis block.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooo..........................................

I REALLY like that one!

My $.02.

;)

Pfft, with his hashrate, it would be more efficient to crack private keys of addresses containing lots of coins.

How do you know that Chuck Norris is not doing exactly that?

My $.02.

;)

Chuck Norris's farts can stop a hurricane.
Chuck Norris told the "most interesting man in the world" he was boring and XX tasted like leavings in a bar bathroom.
Chuck Norris hits so hard NASA has asked him to be ready if they ever need to have a mission to destroy an asteroid. 

Chuck Norris is Satoshi.

Chuck Norris jokes are highly over-rated and not even funny.

No. Chuck Norris never loses to anyone.

Chuck norris jokes ain't funny no more ;D

You're just jealous because Chuck Norris is not Canadian.

My $.02.

;)

My personal fav:

Chuck norris threw a grenade, Killed 50 people.
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Then the grenade exploded

Chuck Norris is 74 but only in Chuck Norris years. In human years he's 740.

I saw this one but with someone else on 9gag I think. Still, a good one. ;D

Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate birthdays, birthdays celebrate him.  8)

Chuck Norris coughed... and the universe was born....

Chuck Norris got out his knife, and carved the Grand Canyon, in about thirty seconds...

WOw! One of my favorite actors! He is the coolest actor of 90s

Chuck Norris can mine all cryptocoins(past, present and to be invented)  at the same time and with HIS bare hands

Chuck Norris won the X-Factor by using sign language.

Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.

I once asked Chuck Norris the wrong question and now have an eye patch........................

Chuck Norris is sooo badass that when he eats BATH SALTS he eats his OWN face off!!!! LOLzZz =)

Loled, that may be the only funny chuck norris joke I've ever heard, or rather seen.(But now I'm gonna hear it as I repeat it to other people) xD

chuck norris is GAY

Fixed that for you ;D.