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This is the case of my neighbor who is an addictive gambler who gambles with huge fund always, although sometimes he wins big but majority of the times he loses just as he wins, but trust me the lose are intense that he faces the consequences of not having a dime because he uses his salary to gamble. and when he loses he will need to wait for another month salary to balance up. And his daughter loves him so much that she tries to do anything possible to help his dad expecialy when his father doesn't have money and this includes selling her belongings to help his dad. Unknowing to her that her dad is an addict she will use the money in her account and give to her dad atleast to help him since he claims not to have money. and this process has continued for so long to an extent that this is beginning to affect this his daughter. And this innocent young girl didn't know what is happening to her dad that he always need money but I know the problem of his father.

now my question is that is it good for me to inform this innocent girl about the cause of her dad constant demand of money? or should I forget about it to avoid problem? Or if you noticed this type of situation what would you do to help the situation because the girl is getting bankrup servicing his father's addiction unknowingly?

This is a family issue, but if your conscience can bear how the daughter suffers from his father's addiction, then you can walk away and ignore.
The daughter deserves to know the truth because it's her money, and she is a caring person who supports her family's needs. I will tell her that she doesn't deserve this kind of hardship, and they can resolve the issue early on before it becomes too late.

Don't intervene, you might end up putting yourself in a situation where you might start regretting your actions...One of my principles Is that I never get involved in other peoples family issues, even though it might seem like you need to speak up and tell his daughter what is actually going on that is not going to be a good move..sooner or later she is going to find out, things like this don't stay hidden for long

I think the earlier the daughter knows about the father’s addiction, the better. There is a subtle way to tell her without going straight that the father’s addiction is very harmful and could get worse, so intervention is important.

If I know them personally, I will talk to the father and urge her to go easy on gambling because her daughter is suffering and might harm their relationship if he keeps on gambling.

Addiction is harmful; it can ruin relationships, so it’s better to fix it early, and family members can understand the situation if there is an early intervention.

I bet to differ from the two members that made up the first comments.

First if you have a close relationship with the daughter, i think you need to tell her what the problems with the dads financial management, since finances is an integral important aspect of family life and gambling addiction could destroy the family future in terms of progress and development.

So the earlier the innocent know the better for her and the rest of the family, so fo ahead you are not doing anything wrong by doing that, rather you did a good did, at least if the father cant controhis gambling addictions, the daughter can be guided on how she manages her own funds instead fueling her fathers gambling addictions indirectly.

As neighbors, we're not in a position to get involved in any family problem. Unless that is our close friends. But if not, we'd better remain silent and let their dad realize his wrongdoings upon seeing the family's financial collapse and the suffering of their kids. Avoid situations where most people are reluctant to get involved in others' life problems. You will be blamed in the end.

Perhaps reporting it to their relatives seems a better idea than directly talking to their family.

This is very sad and to be honest with you some parents are the reason why their children are not prospering because how can a daughter be working hard to take care of herself and her father is giving her pressure as a due to his so much demands of money only to fund his gambling habit. If the daughter finds out it will really be so heartbreaking considering the fact that she has spent a lot of money already to the extent of almost going broke. What i will say in this situation is that you shouldn't tell the daughter but you can try if you can talk to the man to reduce his gambling habit. I don't even know why old people are becoming gambling addicts because it can cause harm to their health considering their age and health status at that age. If you tell the daughter she will be so angry that she might decide not to be sending money to her father again because i know how women reacts when they find out that their money was being wasted, if it was his son he can understand the situation and handle it in a diplomatic way.

The daughter should know that her father has a financial problem. She may not know it's due to gambling but she would probably have seen enough to know her father has issues financially.
I think if you told her about his gambling issues, I doubt it would change anything. The daughter would probably still be trying her best to take care of her dad. It also depends on how close you are to the family. If you're just the neighbor and nothing more to the family, then you could subtly give a hint and see how that would be received before you say more.

What a sad story, her father can keep on collect money and not be able to do anything tangible with it if he's not helped out. It's a very complex situation, if you decide to tell her you would feel bad and if you don't it's the same feeling as well but you just have to mind your business because it's not your family. If you want to do something helpful you can advice her father if you are close to him. Sometimes addicts need counselling

This is actually tricky, because if you’re not careful you’ll get labeled as someone who’s trying to sabotage a daughter’s love for her father, they won’t even bother to consider the fact that you’re trying to help the little girl not to keep wasting her money by constantly giving it to her father as an aid.

If it was me, I’ll just try and tell the girl that her father is into gambling and she should probably try to talk to him about it - I won’t go deep to the extent that I’ll have to bring the whole scheme of her giving her father money to aid him financially, I won’t bring that up, I’ll just try to talk about it vaguely and see if she can decipher the whole situation herself.

That is true, it depends on how she was raised. And no matter what, he is her family. So even if it is like not reasonable to do so, a family will always save the family no matter what. So I can understand the daughter about her actions. And also, it depends on the cultural upbringing. Because in some countries, they don't care much about their family, even if you say, he is your brother or parent. So we can say, she has the upbringing of taking care a family no matter what condition they are in. For some, it is not practical, but for others, it is like you are being a good daughter as you are not neglecting your parent. Though he has shortcomings as a parent. That's the reality of life, you can't have it all.

The fatheray not forgive you if he gets to know about this later that you are the one that gets his family involved, this is about family, trust and personal struggles, the man may not be happy with what is happening to him, and he may be struggling silently to overcome it without his family getting involved in any ways, first if you want to help him, then approach him and advise him, and if ever you want to tell his family, you should first threaten him that if he doesn't change you will let his family know, definitely that will change his mind alot.

Not a buyer of stories but I'm a quick actioner, I take actions without thinking twice before I would have seel public advise I would have already done what I felt was right immediately I felt it! fact is she has to keep sponsoring the behaviour until she knows about it and now it's in your court to let her know or maybe if you think it's going to affect you let it's slide untill she finds out her self or maybe give her hints so she will be inspired to do such. However, some people are not in control of their actions as the persistent urge controls their behaviour hence such man needs external help to solve his addiction maybe one of this isolation centres can help him escape such addiction.

Where is the mother to this girl, the wife of this man, where is she?

If she's not available, then the girl will learn the hard way, sooner or later, this man will regret his actions while loosing his daughter, I don't mean death, I mean the girl to go stay with friends or other relatives for a while, then the father will realize his habit had ruined his family.

I don't know the pleasure many gamblers get when gambling with it their salary, for me I will said it is a financial mistake if somebody does not have a gambling budget or specific amount of money that will be used for gambling weekly or monthly, it is unjust for someone to use all his salary or her salary to participate in gambling without having any reserve, so for me is very bad and is condemnable for anyone who does not know his or her limit in gambling

I do Advice people that every Gambler should know his or her limitation so that you cannot or you will not gamble above your budget, when you gamble above your budget you'll be looking for any way to make sure that you have retrieved your losses and that will make you to be addicted in gambling, so being angry whenever you lose in your gambling it's not a remedy for you to recover what you have lost,

The remedy that will make you to feel the last even when you lose in gambling it's when you have a specific amount that you budgeted for gambling

The majority of people here do not seem to be good neighbors.
If you are concerned about her and her father, you should tell the truth, but not in person, as he will blame you.
Try to tell her in a different way that does not involve your name, such as creating a fake Facebook or email account and contacting her and messaging her that her father is addicted, or pretending to be a casino employee and informing her via email that her father is addicted. That way, he cannot blame you.

I usually mind my own business and not get into life of others and getting myself in problems because of the addictions and lies of others, but I would seriously consider to tell her about what is actually going on with her money and how his father is gambling all away to fuel his addiction, she will realize about it sooner or later, that is for sure, but the sonner she understand what is happening more money she will keep from being wasted by her father.

Just my opinion.

Also, of someone one knows constantly is in need of money one needs to have some common sense and wonder why.

She should know.

That father doesn't even think about her daughter, and that's unfair. He should not be called a father if he can take advantage of her. If I am in a position of being a friend of the father and I know everything that he does, I would not hesitate to tell the daughter because what he is doing is wrong. It's a family matter, that is true, but my conscience cannot endure those kinds of things, and even though the daughter is of the right age, for me, that's still an abuse. It may not be child abuse, but still, she deserves to know what is happening.

Who knows? Maybe she can help him better if she knows the truth.

Frankly speaking, I don’t think his daughter has not sense something wrong with her father. She might have sensed that already but since her love for her father is greater than her father’s wrong doing, then she tolerated her father until it reached to the point that it affects already her own finances.

What is lacking here, heart to heart communication. The daughter should seriously talk to her father, otherwise both of them will end up penniless and homeless. Addiction has always a cure, it can always be treated as long as the gambler is willing to be treated and help his own.

As your neighbor, you should definitely inform him of this because an innocent girl will go bankrupt because of her father's gambling and drug addiction.
If you can't tell her directly, you should go ahead and get someone to help you tell her the matter quickly so that she doesn't go bankrupt. As a daughter, it is the responsibility of the daughter to respect and help her father, but if that father gives money away in a bad way, that is never supportable. Of course, the girl should be protected from this terrible outcome. Maybe if the girl is informed now, then maybe the girl will be aware of this misdeed of her father.

I will mind my business as usual, if the daughter decides to spend money on her dad unknowingly without a proper knowledge about her dad using the money to gamble then there’s nothing I can do. Just imagine the daughter finds out and still decide to send more money, you might cause trouble with the aim to help the daughter meanwhile she can’t leave her dad to struggle all alone. The problem is the dad, if he can learn to gamble responsibly besides you can never tell if he’ll change. When advised to gamble responsibly using the amount you can avoid to lose so you don’t have hard feelings people think is a joke, not until gambling addiction is involved then at that stage gambling activity is seen as a source of income, Very bad when love ones pay dearly for irresponsible gambling, I guess the dad needs more attention and help.

I would definitely tell the daughter immediately, because gambling addiction is a disease that not only affects the family of the sick person, it also affects the sick person and the neighbors. When he runs out of all his daughter's money, he will start stealing money from everyone who lives near his house, this includes stealing from you, so it's better to tell him early so that he can be admitted to a rehab clinic early. Don't be afraid that he will hate you, the most important thing is that you will have saved his life, a person's life is priceless.

This is a tough one honestly. The world is filled with too many troubles already, so the best thing you would want for yourself is to stay away from the very few that plays out around you on a daily basis. But on the other hand, i might be tempted to help the daughter out because she is currently in some sort of financial bondage at this point, despite the fact that she is not even the addicted gambler. Of course, there is a possibility that it might lead to something else, but at least, it's best to address what you might end up feeling guilty for, when you genuinely know that your little part can make a huge difference in the first place.

I might have to resort to using indirect ways, probably, telling someone to help me pass down the information. My own way of helping doesn't have to come from me directly.

It’s only right that his daughter should know about it. Just tell her, but do it discreetly, and remind him not to mention who told her. Actually, there’s someone in our community like that, though in their case it’s not the daughter. A couple loves to gamble, but they don’t have any jobs. The guy doesn’t even bother with farming or take it seriously because they’re living off allowances from the girl’s siblings and parents, who work overseas. But everyone knows they have gambling habits. People even mock the guy for not having a job, yet he doesn’t seem bothered at all. They still help them out because of family ties and their kids.

Advice is like a pinch of salt, you don't give until you are asked. Watch and observe, even better, a five minute prayer for both parties; the helper and the man in addiction, adds to change. moving in directly to say things nobody expected to hear from you, won't make much difference, rather it'll cause chaos and you know chaos is like a tree that bears no fruit. Be observant, someday either the girl or the dad would come for your help, because your thoughts are with them.

I don't think there is any need to give suggestions here, especially if the girl knows that her father is a gambling addict and still supports her father with money, then does the girl need to help her father like this even after knowing this completely? Here the girl knows and after knowing why the girl will help her father with money to gamble. Here maybe the girl should be made aware that the girl did not know about her father's gambling. But the girl knows about her father's gambling and after knowing, the girl is helping her father financially, then it can be said that the girl is supporting her father for gambling.

In as much as I know that we don't have to meddle at other people's problem especially family issues I would still want to say that there is nothing wrong in telling the girl what her father is actually facing or going through and who knows, she might see reasons to believe and at same time look for possible way to reduce it since she love her father so much to the point she can sell her belongings just go make sure her father have money with him.

If not for the fact that addiction is like sickness we can't control, I would have said that the man is selfish I mean how would you allow your daughter go through all these just to give you money and you will use it for something that is not important or necessary.

Is she underage? Because in positive case, this father may be in serious legal issues by being addicted while getting money from his daughter to keep the house's expenses being paid. If she is adult already, then she must know where the money is going to, although she doesn't see another solution besides giving money to her father. If you believe to have an approach towards this girl, I think you could talk to her, since you are aiming her welfare.

If we can help other people along our way, why wouldn't we do it? It must not hurt to give her proper advice. Sometimes people are so lonely and out of touch that they end losing respect for themselves and lowering their self-esteem, so they end doing things like this girl is doing. She forgets her personal needs and development in order to donate all her time, money and concern to her problem father.

Unsolicited advice is a total waste of time, so I agree that one need to be asked before ditching our advice on cases like this, and in that regards, we can say that we should prioritize issues that we withhold such advice on, such as gambling addiction that involves another person, it important to take the innocent one into consideration, so I agree that the ops need a lot of caution in doing that advice thing, but he definitely need to help the girl out, is not in all cases that silence is golden just like in this case.

Helping an innocent person who has been continuously fooled should come out of it and understand the reality. As many people have said, it is good to stand out, as the relationship is father and daughter. Sometimes the girl might not be in a situation to believe due to the love she has for him. To play a safe game, it is good to connect to her through her with solid evidence. This might give hands. If not, at least she'll try to have an eye over her father's activities. Surely someday she'll get to know, or she'll find it and stay away from supporting him with money to gamble.

The man failed to understand the little principles of gambling, gambling with huge amount is not bad but the question now is can you afford to loss that amount if you didn't win? At least from his salary he can allocate small percent of his salary for gambling and not all, what is killing most gamblers is greed.
I will say the earlier the better it is important you hint the daughter about his father's situation before her daughter's account balance turn red i believe if the father stop seeing money he can gamble and his addict rate will drop and i think you are the right position to bell the cat.

It is never desirable for others to interfere in family matters. Your neighbor's daughter may not believe the real truth. Most of the time, money is the cause of family unrest. The man is reckless and shameless, so he is taking money from his daughter and gambling. I don't know if anyone ever gives money to anyone in such a reckless manner.

Maybe instead of telling the neighbor's daughter the truth, you should ask her to find out the reason for her father's huge expenditure because that will give you some peace of mind.

He should be held ​responsible and accountable for the money his daughter has been helping him with for so long.

Addictions can go ugly. Gambling addiction destroys one's finance, relationships and family. The daughter is young and innocent who doesn't know her affectionate behavior towards her father is further fueling his addiction. She's trying to help but unknowingly she's making the future difficult for both of them.
You might be in dilemma but what you need to understand is exposing the father could be in long term much more beneficial thing for the father as well. You would be doing a right thing by telling his daughter that her father spends her money on gambling. If you are still not sure, you could first consult the father, make him feel guilty of lying to his daughter and come clean to her and threaten him to expose him if he doesn't comply. And if he don't, it would be fair to expose him.

I do not think the daughter does not know her dad's activity.  She is always with her dad and obviously there are lots of question raise on the mind of the daughter regarding why her father always need money.  I think the daughter just let it go and who knows how many times these two have argument about  the father spending too much.



If the daughter does not seek any advice, why meddle with other's life affair?


I would like to but I need the other party to ask me for it.  The situation isn't that simple, sometimes, meddling with other affairs without the other party asking for it often ends up in misundertanding and conflict.

We have a motto over here in this part of the world, and it's "if you know something, then say something", I know it's not really your business but for the sake of the young girl and her future, please say something, and if you don't want to create enemity between you and the man, her father, you can opt to remain anonymous, this is if the man would start fighting you for revealing his problems to his daughter, but please say something and save the girl, and who knows, maybe in you saving the girl, you also indirectly will save the father too.

My above advice is because If I see such thing happening around me, I will report the issue to the young girl, but I will plead with her not to reveal my identity to her father when she approaches him concerning the situation, this is the best thing to do so that this young girl doesn't end up destroying her future just for the father he potentially has destroyed his.

Well, the daughter should have an idea of what is happening because there might be some miscommunication from them. The father might be lying or something.

I do hope that the daughter will find a way to help her father with the addiction. Therapy should be a good approach to help people with addiction.

But if the daughter's behavior in helping her father in financial form means supporting her father's gambling, it seems like the wrong help, I think it would be better if the daughter could help her father to be aware and try to stop his addiction, such as perhaps by giving him advice, even though it is very unlikely that it can make this father aware, but at least helping in a form like this is better than helping him financially.

That's true she needs to know before it becomes too late, do you know that she came to me asking if I am interested in buyher TV just to source out fund to give her dad but I didn't because I knew she was about to waste that money again on her father for gambling so I just said I don't have the money and I guess she will be looking for place elsewhere to sell it. I felt pitty for her because of This but from the suggestion I have gotten so far from here I think I will need to inform her so she don't involve herself into servicing another person addiction.

Well its out of your business mate. Its okay and good to say that to her but this will make a fuss with you and her father. I know that you are concern with the situation of her father but if you can talk to her explicitly and told her not to mentioned it to him maybe the girl will get the sense out of it. Since I assumed the girl isnt a kid and big adult daughter already?

Or yet talk to the father directly and gives him a good neighbourhood advice.

Since the girl's father is already addicted to gambling and, he uses a huge amount of money to gamble, which sometimes leaves he with no choice but to wait for his upcoming monthly salary to be able to take care of his expenses, I think you should let the man's daughter know that her father is addicted to gambling so that the girl will stop aiding her father to gamble anytime his father runs out of money.

Very bad experience, i know a guy that got addicted to taking ice, Ice os a hard drug known in my country, inthinknthis drug is what is called crack in the US, very addictive and dangerous drug, when he first started taking that drug, he hard a job, along the line he lost the job due to his inability to perform well and organized at work, after he lost his job, he started taking money from his girlfriend, until the girl had to leave him, and there after he is now stealing in the area, recently securities operatives apprehended him with a stolen car, so he is now in prison every rest now.

I think you have to look at the relationship you have with the family because that will show to them if you don't actually mean to take advantage to destroy their family. So if you are close to them, you can subtly reveal it in the presence of the father so that it doesn't look like gossip. But, that should be after you have spoken to the father in private. Yes, I think you have to speak to him for some time with the warning that you will tell the daughter what is happening then you watch if he will change from the addiction.

So you don't have to go straight and tell the daughter without cautioning the father first and see if there will be changes.

It is good to inform this innocent girl about the cause of her dad's constant demand for money so she can stop that and advice her father. She is innocent and doesn't know anything about her father's habits so she doesn't deserve to give the money to her father. I wonder what she will do after knowing that her father used the money to gamble. She will be sad and regret that she gave him the money to gamble and that means she funds her father to do a wrong thing.

You can ask her to talk privately with you so you can inform her slowly. Maybe she will difficult to accept but that is the fact and you can tell her that you don't want to see her go bankrupt because of helping her father.

Sorry, but that’s a family problem, dude — you’re not involved in that issue. If you see something wrong, I think if you’re a close friend of the girl’s father, maybe you can give him a reminder. But if you try to tell his daughter directly, it might just come across as you being meddlesome.

Maybe it’s okay to remind the father if you’re really close friends, but if not, it’s better to just let the father and daughter resolve their own issues.
I understand that your intentions are good, but getting involved in another family’s problems is something that isn’t really right.

When loved reletives become gambling addicts, it’s very painful to find out. I know this from my own experience. But it’s better to discover such things as early as possible. First of all, the amount of money lost will be smaller, which could make the situation easier to resolve. I wish I had known about it right away, because I gave a large sum of money to someone close to me, not realizing at first that it was for gambling. Now we’ve stopped communicating because of the deceit and the inability to return the money, which led to conflicts. Perhaps if I had understood from the beginning where the money was going, I wouldn’t have given so much, and our relationship could have been preserved.

Thank you for sharing this story its really a sad and difficult situation. I believe its very important for the daughter to know the truth about her father. She is unknowingly sacrificing herself and her belongings to help him, which could harm her deeply in the long run.

Of course, the truth should be shared with care and understanding because it can be painful, but she deserves to know what is really going on. Knowing the real problem might help her find the right kind of support, both for herself and possibly for her father.

I agree that staying silent and watching the daughter suffer is not a good option. My advice would be to gently and kindly help her see the reality, and then support her in seeking professional help if needed.

Help in a stylish way without really helping, the daughter will end up having nothing if something isn't been done about it, if i am in your shoe I would leak the secret to the daughter without getting involved.

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One of the ways to do this is asking someone to write a letter for you and talk about everything in the letter and ask a kid or a child to deliver the letter to the daughter or find a privacy way of communicating with the daughter, maybe a anonymous chatting app or a separate phone number.

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The daughter needs to know and this is the only way she can really help her father, this is a battle of addiction not a battle of a broke father, she can't fixed what she don't know..

Maybe not gambling but I've lived around people that are addicted to substance and because of that, the family suffered greatly. When the children eventually knows that the parents or father spends all his money to gamble, they usually make him submit a larger portion of his salary to them once he receives his pay which is a way to help him come out from his gambling excesses.

As a father, we should know better that we are not just responsible for ourselves once we are married but also responsible for our families.  Any father that gets himself addicted such that it affects the overall wellbeing of  his family should be out in his place till he comes back to his senses.

Even though this is someone else's problem, basically we as humans have a heart or pity for what the addict's daughter, namely her own father, is experiencing. Situations like this are highly sensitive and complex and require a cautious approach. Talking to someone about complex family issues, especially those involving addiction and finances, should be done with consideration for their feelings and emotional state. The goal is to help, not cause further conflict or pain.

If you find the situation very alarming I think there’s no harm on giving warning to affected people on this case the girl that is paying the consequences for his dad actions.

Sometimes people that has addiction just need someone to stop them in able to think straight. You can always tell this to the girl on discreet way so that you will not be public involved between them.

You could do something wise without compromising yourself: send an anonymous letter informing her of what's happening to her father, explaining that you're not coming forward so as not to be intrusive.
You'll feel better about your conscience, and it could also be the girl's chance of salvation. I would do it that way.

If you are really so close with the lady, you can tell her because you can already predict how she is going to react  but if you are not, it's better not to tell the person so that you don't create a problem for yourself. Some people will not take is very likely with you for calling their father an addict or meddling into their family affairs.

I actually blame the girl for being dumb, she should know that her dad is receiving salary every month and then look around her to see what and what are the things that is taking up the dad's money. If there's  no serious thing to think of as what is consuming the man's money, she should ask her dad about it or she should closely observed things by her self.

Why do you say that she doesn't know? From what I see, the daughter knows that there is something wrong with her father, but because she loves her father so much and doesn't want any conflict in their relationship, so she bears all the burden, even though it hurts herself. You understand that sometimes there are some children who really care about their parents to the point that they hurt themselves because of their parents' actions. You just don't know what their family is like, what arguments they are going through, many other things that you might not understand. You do have good intentions, but sometimes it's better to keep it to yourself.

This is addiction case, but if her father ever found out that you told her about it, he will not like you. In fact, he may dislike you from that very moment. The best to me is for you to approach her father and let him know that he is addicted to gambling and prove to him that he is. But he may also not like such advice from you but if you like him, try to talk to him about his addiction.

Wow, This is a delicate situation!!!
Unfortunately, this is something super common... the problem of a gambling addict affecting close relatives is most often exactly this: a lack of money to continue covering the basic costs of daily survival. In other situations, it can even involve theft and robbery of family member's belongings or money.
My opinion is that hide this from daughter is worse, as it will only prolong her suffering... Do you agree with me that she will find out so soon or later?
If so, then why not tell him now? If you do this now the losses can still be minimized and daughter can still help her father manage his addiction instead of just giving him money and feeding addiction. Obviously that you need to do this with carefully, showing concern and reassuring that it isn't either of your faults... show empathy and a willingness to help with whatever is needed, without assigning blame.

I wouldn't stay silent, but the choice is yours.... I hope you can act in the best possible way, good luck!

These days so many persons try to mind their business because of the fact that some after being corrected may become vengeful.
Talking to the father is obviously the best way to go but it should be done with wisdom so as to avoid problems later on.
I wouldn't also advise the girl be told about her father's addiction because it would break her heart and make her disrespect him in his old age.

Telling the daughter of the gambler that her father is an addicted gambler will break her heart.It is hard to say because no body knows what will become of the daughter if she finds out that her father is an addicted gambler and all her efforts was a waste when she trys to support her father with money and other necessary efforts. I will say they should mind your business and do not say anything to the daughter. Besides they are trying to help her and the father, the both of them might not be happy seeing you. The father will see you as someone that wouldn't mind his business.for the sake of peace, I think you shouldn't tell her .let her find out by herself.

To me I wouldn't mind saying it depends on the relationship you have with their family, like how connected are you to them, if not connected they will say you should just stay away from them because most times the father may not fancy it and could lead him to hurt you when he discovered that you are the one who told his daughter about his gambling addiction or why he constantly demands money from the daughter. You should know how African do their own things and could lead to something else.

If I find myself in this situation, I will tell the daughter what is happening with the father, because if I keep quiet the Man will keep exploiting the innocent woman. It's obvious that the Man is draining his daughter and am sure if the daughter is aware of her father situation, she will look for better alternatives to help him with the addition. So keeping quiet is not doing both parties any good. Let the daughter know what's eating the man's money, but let the decision to continue giving him money or not being her own.

It is quite unfortunate that the girl is unknowingly fueling her father's addictive lifestyle, spending money that ought to have been used to develop herself and possibly her business as well. This is a family matter, and sometimes intervening in such a matter might be very risky, as you never can tell the repercussions or the aftermath of your actions in helping her discover the lapses in her family that is running her broke.

What I will advise you to do is to meet with her father and discuss with him, asking him to be in the place of his daughter and ask him to tell you how he would feel if it were his daughter doing this to him, because it just looks like her labour is going in vain thinking her father is doing something reasonable with the funds she gives to him. Have an in-depth discussion with him and plan on how to help him come out of the addiction, which both of you can work out modalities to follow in achieving it. I believe if he sincerely wants to stop it, he would listen to you, and both of you can devise a means to make sure he is free from addiction.

It was truly heartbreaking to hear her story. What made me sad was seeing his daughter willing to do anything to help the family financially, giving money from selling her belongings to her father, who then used it to fund his gambling.
OMG, I really wanted to scold her father. :(

I don't think telling his daughter about the real problem matters. The most important thing is that the father must immediately change his habits, at least start reducing his gambling activity. The decision is ultimately his. If he truly loves his family, he should stop gambling immediately. There's no other way.

Your neighbor seriously needs help cause he's gradually ruining his own family without them knowing what the problem is and the best form of help you can render as a good neighbor is by informing his family so they can tackle the situation before it gets more worst than this or would you rather watch the girl keep taking responsibility and suffering for what she knows nothing about?

 So hurry up and tell, it won't make you a snitch or rat since you're doing it for a good cause that would still benefit him, atleast his family would know his problem and help him solve it by taking him for therapy or try to monitor his activities and help him quit his gambling addiction, I feel so sorry for the poor girl anyways and I urge you to do the right thing to help her too.

This is a family matter and you don't have any business with the girl and her dad matter. But if they involve you, then you can talk anything even though the man know that you are the one that told his daughter that he is a gambler, and the girl stop sending her dad money, and the man  find out you are the one that told his daughter, I believe you have nothing to be afraid of as a neighbor to the family.

If the girl need help from me, I will advise her not to send her dad money than to ask her dad what do he want her to do for him, I believe her dad will mention things like clothes, water bill, light bill, house rent, food items and other things which the girl can order some from online and pay the bills through the company account, and it will reduce her dad demanding too much money from his daughter to gamble. And with this kind of advise, I bet you the girl will thank you later, because her dad will surely expose himself to confess to her daughter were he is spending those money she has been sending to him.

There are different opinions here and, in the end, if the decision will affect your relationship with the gambler's daughter you are the only one who has to calculate the pros and cons, depending on your scale of values. But, IMO, she should know the truth. Chances are that she will continue doing the same no matter the real reasons behind the father's debt, but at least she will make her decision freely.

The earlier you let the girl know about what her dad is battling with(gambling addiction), the better for the family. Keeping quiet, not to interfere makes matters worse. Let the girl know, so that she can be saved from being bankrupt because of her dad. That will be another big case of its own(dad and daughter are bankrupt)

So, you should go ahead and tell the girl. But make sure she promises you not to tell her dad that you are the one who gave out the information about her dad's gambling lifestyle that runs his finances dry every month.

It can be a problem if we interfere in other people's family matters, but I feel sorry for his daughter who has to bear the consequences. If that happened in my environment, I would help her, but I wouldn't tell her father about the problem because, as you said, sooner or later he will find out, and hopefully, he can accept this patiently. What I fear is that this addicted father will abandon his responsibilities as a father, focusing only on his own gambling desires without thinking about others, including his own daughter.

Tough questions and for sure there are different opinions about this type of a situation, but personally the first question to me is how close you are with the daughter? if you have that close bonds then it's good to share your opinion the way the daughter will understand your concern, but, if you are not close to them better to stay out as there's a chance that the father will deny the addiction and it may cause you a bad impressions from both the father and the daughter, but then again, it's my personal take

I don't think is proper to interfere into family affairs to avoid embarrassing situations between you and the entire family. However, if you decide to "Let the dog out of the bag", with the daughter, you must apply wisdom. First, try to be very close with the daughter that should lead to sharing vital informations and possibly exchange of ideas and helps between both of you. Try to discuss, or introduce topics involving politics, gambling and social issues, and give examples of people who has wasted their earning on gambling and political ambition among other illegitimate activities.

If she is a minor, don't get involved, call child services in an extreme case, but first talk to the father who is the real problem, you never have to talk to the daughter since you will only add problems to the table if she is older, if she is old enough, do not jump to conclusions, it is possible that she knows what the problem is and does not know how to handle it, if it is not a person you trust, still you should not interfere personally, you run the risk of worsening an already bad situation.

AFAIK the girl is not a minor because she can manage to sell her belongings just to help her dad financially. What I’m thinking is she is a young professional that working while her dad can’t cover with their expenses.

I agree that we shouldn’t be involved as an outsider because this might create more issue considering that the girl is blinded by the love to her father.

Seeking the right agency on dealing matter is the best thing to do because they have power to do it properly.

From my point of view, the daughter must be told the truth so that she does not continue to become a victim, but it should not be communicated to her in a bitter or straightforward manner. It is preferable to inform trusted members of the family or a close person first, and then gently explain that her father has a bad habit that impacts the family budget. She should be counseled to stop giving money and, if she has to help, limit it to necessities while she protects her savings. In the meantime, the father should be encouraged to seek professional help to quit his gambling addiction. The solution does not only lie in revealing the problem but also in providing a real way out.

This is now with the mistake of the father at the first place its their obligation to secure their childs future and at the same time guide them instead they focus themselves in playing gambling so its all about a family issues or the fathers issue now for sure once they notice by the people around them for sure the daughter will be force to bring into other relatives because seems the father is already addicted and theres no chance he will held her daughter into a nice way and we avoid that the father thinks into a bad things that might risk the daughter itself so it will be sent to a custody of the other relatives.

I don't see anything wrong in telling the girl that her father is an addicted gambler so that she can know the cause of his brokenness most of the time. This will not only help the girl to use her money for something important in her life rather than fueling her father addiction with it. It will also help the girl's father because he might listen to his daughter and stop gambling or feel ashame of himself and stop gambling.

The girl can also help her father look for a way on how to help him out from addiction instead of allowing the girl to be suffering for her father's addicted lifestyle.

If you know the daughter well, or if she's a friend, it's best to tell her that her father is a gambling addict for her own good, so she can take action and take steps to overcome his addiction. She loves her father very much and will undoubtedly do her best to help him recover.

However, if you don't know her well, it's best to remain silent and not interfere in their affairs. This will likely make her feel strange and confused, and she likely won't trust you because she loves her father so much and trusts him more than you. However, if you're a friend and know the daughter well, she'll likely trust you and will seek out the truth about her father.

I know some will say it's a family affair, hence no need getting involved in a father and daughter relationship. This obviously is an exception, the whole situation is already toxic. No parent should put his daughter under that financial stress just to appeal his gambling craving. The man needs help and his daughter and other relatives won't know except they are being told. The daughter also needs help, she won't be selling off her properties anymore if her father gets the help he needs.

Let her know her father is battling addiction. Addiction is dangerous, we can't tell what the daughter is going through. If I know this family, I will let them know that there is a problem that needs to be fixed.

Characteristics of an irresponsible father --- sacrificing his innocent daughter so that people will pity him for not having money, even though he spends his monthly salary on gambling --- I'm sorry, but I have to say this is barbaric.

If you dare, try to find out about the girl's severe gambling addiction.
But for me, I won't get involved in other people's business because this could become a family issue, which is what I fear.

Have you spoken with him about his problems?  You need to help him see that his addiction is affecting his family. If you have done that, then she needs to know.

The girl will continue to suffer if you fail to inform her about her father's struggles. Informing her might also help her in seeking ways to assist him. He needs to go through a serious rehabilitation process. She could also control the way she handles financial matters with the father if she knew that he was an addict.

Addiction always one of the worst thing which are creating terrible things around us with this you have good point talking to girl can bring trouble for OP but here one thing is also important talking directly to father is also not good decision because he can take this negative which can bring problems for OP as well.

Here better thing he needs to have talked with someone else who engaged then they can settle this problem easily because have two or more persons engaged surely bring better result while just staying with one person is not ideal thing for me. Even this is also something which maybe many peoples do not like, but things like these can settle better with the help of community are always had fewer problems for all.

I think you have a conscience, and you already know that this has been going on for a long time, I will support you in taking action, especially since the girl's financial situation is now worrying, as the saying goes "no matter how bad something is hidden, it will eventually be revealed." Eventually the girl will find out about her father addiction, so rather than being late, you can take action. It's better to save one person than not at all.

Neither both of your options.

Use strategy, like creating an alter account then chat her on social media by showing if her father is an addict.

This will make you safe and able to deliver information.

Telling the daughter do matters, if the daughter know if her father is an addict, she will stop to give money to her father.

The father can survive and have more money to gamble because of the daughter, so if his daughter no longer back up him, he will be forced to find other way to get money or he will change his addiction hurt his life.

This is what most of the gamblers don't understand, the more you are playing, you will still end up losing all you have earned back to gambling at the course of time, because luck does not comes always, we lose more often than we win and such opportunity for winning big may not even appear again as we had it earlier.


This is nothing than a sign of addiction and irresponsible gambling,


You cant do that, because it may be that you're advising the girl against her dad from being responsible, the best you can do is to allow the lady to give her due diligence as a daughter to her father, but you can use another person to notify the girl about how they could assist or prevent the father from gambling and don't make it sound as if you knew she gives her father money, but being neutral, maybe if he is unable to get more money as before, his addiction may reduce, and that is if he didnt think of getting a loan to gamble.

This is surely something to think of because its not good to enter into someone's family issues in this generation.
But seeing this situation, the daughter deserves to know the truth because she is concerned about her father and apart from that, her money is also going down the drain.
If the father would be understanding enough then the daughter might be able to cure the father's addiction.

This is inhumane and absurd, the fact that you can't take responsibility for your actions shouldn't indulge you to involve your children. Addiction is one of the worst things that can happen to anyone but provided your a responsible gambler you can maneuver your way around things  but clearly i think the father and the daughter needs to be told about his addictions that's affecting the daughter cause gradually she'll be drained not knowing it's an irresponsible habits of her dad that's resulting in the constant request of money

Firstly, your neighbor, who is a gambling addict, needs serious help, and the only way you can help him is to tell his family about his gambling addiction, because sooner or later, he will go to the next extreme to find the money to fulfill his gambling urge if the daughter is unable to provide.
Therefore, you telling his daughter about her father's gambling addiction is a good thing. Still, you need to know if the lady has the understanding and maturity needed to respond to her father's gambling addiction instead of creating a conflict within the family. If she doesn't have the capacity, I will advise you to find someone among his family members who can solve the issue and won't include your name.

I understand that op is worried but trying to relate this to this man daughter may lead to another issue, letting this girl to know this Migjt come with consequences, the op has a good intention but his good intentions might end up making him look like a bad person, in this kind of situation, advise the op to stay out of trouble, this might look like nothing to him but once he make that move in his mind, he will understand that this matter is actually a family matter, the best option for the op is for him to act like he never saw anything, if I were to be him I will try to talk to the man in question instead of relating this to the daughter.

This is a pure example of how a person's addiction affects not just them but also those that are around them, especially those that loves and cares about them. Honestly, if I were in your shoes and notice such a thing I wouldn't think twice to bring it to the notice of the young girl, I know it looks like not minding your business but sometimes minding I your business isn't actually the best thing to do in certain situation, because if this continues and no one puts a stop to it, it'll cause more harm to both the girl and the father. The girl has every right to know because I'm pretty sure her father won't tell her, not that he wouldn't want to, but it's harder than we think, so you wouldn't be on the wrong by attempting to help the situation, and staying silent is definitely not helping the situation in anyway.

It is about doing the right thing, sometimes we don't have to look at the consequences, like putting ourselves in the same shoe. That is a help to the girl and her future, if the father is going to kill his future then the innocent girl shouldn't be affected, if telling her will help the issue then go ahead. Clear up the air about her fathers addict and ways to combat addiction, talk to her about it and it is for she not to mention the part you told her to the father, both of you has to be reasonable to save yourselves and avoid any later consequences.

If I had the chance to interact with that women then I will imply it she is indirectly helping his dad to fuel his addiction which is not going to any better, it will just get worse over the period of time. But I may not put myself because you said this is neigbour not someone in your family that is why the hesistation but you know how close you are with your neigbhor so you decide telling this can backfire at you or not.

Tell the girl about the condition of her father who was addicted to gambling or the best way to invite the girl where her father often gambled in the casino house, let him see for yourself, if you tell you to feel guilty, With him seeing of himself so he can draw the best conclusions for his father, without you guil to.

Such a situation occurs a lot, where I live also has several cases like that, it is even worse the parents often steal the savings of their daughters, When the girl was in school, for me the only way for parents like that had to be brought to a nursing home, let him spend the rest of his life.

I have a daughter and she is a small one, she loves the Amazon Big Bass game and always tells me to play the fishermen game as she loves to choose the vases of the game altering mechanisms there. I know she likes the game and I let her choose the vases though only show her the demo mode, when I play for real I never do so in front of her, I know that the impact maybe the same but she is still small. What this father has done is the worse of the worse and he needs absolutely to go to a rehab center by telling to his loved ones especially his daughter which has helped him so much. I am sure she will help him to recover and achieve a better lifestyle compared to the one you are showing here. By doing so he will help himself but more importantly he will also help his daughter which should be a priority when you are a parent.

If you are close enough to your neighbor, tell the child the truth. But in addition to telling him the truth about why his father keeps needing money due to his gambling addiction, you should also advise him on how to resolve it.
After all, the situation for a gambling addict who loses the support of family members can get worse. What I fear is the disappointment of that child. It could change everything. But if he is mature enough, he will think of solutions for his father's problems.

Your position is very heavy, if you tell his daughter about gambling addiction experienced by his father, surely you will have problems with his father. But if you are silent, the daughter will get poorer. There is an easy alternative for you to do by sending a private message via short letter and you don't need to tell your identity. I will do the same thing if something happens that you experience and this is not about something bad but about helping others to stop addictive. If you don't do it, the 2 people will suffer.

It's a sad story that has been repeated in many variations - family abusing family because of the super close relationship. You're meant to be able to trust your parents, kids, siblings, etc. more than anyone else in the world because they are related to you and you were most likely raised around them. When there is a betrayal by someone so close it hurts much deeper than from someone else. This just goes to show that the addiction gamblers face leads to a dark road of despair, but it's hard to have sympathy because every action they take could change their future. They do have control if they really wish to change, but are selfishly happy existing in a bubble without realizing the damage they are doing outside of that bubble.

Some situations are expected to be carefully looked into before we could intervene in other not to cause another trouble while trying to solve one, this is a father and daughter relationship, if he thinks the money he would have been using to eat and feed himself is worth going for gambling, then that is his own decision, maybe such is what takes away depression from his mind, but never an excuse anyway to gamble irresponsibly, if the situations worsen over time, we can use wisdom in advising the father or letting the daughter understand what is really going on, but using a wise approach that none will be affected or their relationship rented out at the cause of this.

There is a way you can inform the lady about her Dad's addiction in gambling. It wont sound like an offense to her, if you tell her to watch her Dad closely. Telling her to stop giving her Dad money wont be an appropriate way though.

Actually the best way to do this, is to speak to someone she can trust. Talk to that person about the fathers addiction, that would make her talk to father about the situation and there will be solution to it.

He, the Op, sounds like he knows so much about these two, that means he's closer to them, so, it won't be long until he'd have a chance to talk to the girl. Patience is all needs to be exercised. Instead of winding up the whole situation, it's best to watch and wait a little more then chime in his words to the girl like a parable that'll let her think without approaching the dad arrogantly.

It's hard, you know when it's an internal family problem you don't meddle with it. But if you're also so concerned to the daughter, then step up and stand with your principles.

There could be a lot of ways informing her by you without knowing that it was you.

And how to do that? you are the one to determine on how to inform her with that. Saying that this is a family problem, if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen.

This is a serious problem on the father's side, which is affecting his daughter unknowingly, and both of them need help. The best way to help them is to tell the daughter so that she will know where her money goes. When the daughter is aware of her father's addiction to gambling, she will stop giving him money anytime he complains of not having money because she already has an idea of what he wants to use it for.  The daughter has been a supportive child so she will do her best to stop the father of being addicted by telling him other legal ways of making money and things he can do while he's bored that is not gambling. Doing so, it will help the father and save the daughter from being bankrupt.

It depends on who these peole are. If they are your relatives, then you have the right to intervene but otherwise it’s really not your business. But yes the daughter should know so that she can also help his father recover.

It's not an easy situation for sure. But will you let the daughter suffer because of his addicted father? We know it's not right to meddle with others business especially if it's a family problem. But in this case, if you don't inform his daughter, the situation might go to worst.

This is is the reason why it's important to have discipline when we gamble. Otherwise, you'll spend more even it's money from loan or asking to your loved ones with words of lies.

This is a family business I would not advise you interfere with such because if you do, eventually you are going  to layer liok like the bad person in this, I u understand your pain that you see tha daughter having to pay for the addiction of the father and you wish so bad to interven so that the daughter will be in a better position but it still remains important you do not medle with people's family affairs because something you may think the other party is not aware but it may shock to later discover that are much aware and just rather chose to keep mute because it is coming from someone they value so much.

In theory thats the easiest thing to fix, just pay your bills before you ever gamble.  Pay the whole month or its not money spare at all.  Surely this is the most basic form of discipline, he is risking the money he hasnt got so its an obvious mistake.  I'm not saying its rare but it is fairly easy as both a problem and the potential fix.

I do know people a bit like this and they arrange all their bill dates and money to be taken on the exact same day as their salary arrives.  Now you dont have the temptation, you have a solution pre-arranged with no further effort  required for the majority of your problem to not keep reoccurring.
  Maybe you should help this dude in this basic respect if he has regret at all.

Maybe his daughter already knew about it? Well, why do you care for the innocent girl? do you know her personally.

There are a lot of questions about this because we know that we have to put a personal space and boundaries to us and from other people. I think they will also feel the same thing about it.

But you as a person who worries about how the money of the girl is spent by his father, act on it and be the hero of her.

Should you do that, be known to the possible consequences that it might bring - good or bad.

Sorry but it is bad to keep mute in such a situation, so assuming the father is not killing his daughter now through child abuse, you still will keep quiet because you believe it's a family affair that no one should meddle into?
Seeing bad things going on and keeping quiet about it for some reason or the other is one of the reasons why the world we live on today is turning bad and bad..

What happens to what the Bible said about we always being our brother's keeper? Like I said before in my previous comment, it is very important to let the girl know about his father predicament and start looking for solutions, without her knowing, the father will likely later die from depression since this is one major issue with addicted gamblers, they can never be satisfied.. Let the girl know so that he can find a way of helping her father and by so doing, help herself too.

Why not? It wouldn't just help his daughter it probably stops his father's gambling addiction or hoping she could rehabilitate him. I think the world will be better if people step up and don't tolerate bad habits or behavior and if you do this it means the world to his daughter tbh. It's easy to grasp what's right and if you could help a little then do it the right way. It may not be your business to meddle in them but you're doing the right thing here.

This is just too hurtful for me to read. Imagine an innocent daughter being used as a sacrifice for the sake of his father? Imagine a young kiddo doing things that he doesn't need to do at a young age? Imagine a daughter that's sacrificing everything that she has just because she loves her dad, but on the other hand, his stupid dad is using those money just for gambling.

This is one of the things that I really hate about gambling. I'm not against gambling as I always say, but excessive gambling will cause addiction, and as what many are saying, this might affect all of the people around you and this time, it's the father's daughter. Inform that innocent girl if you can, and tell the truth about him. Explain it to him in simplest terms where she will understand it immediately or else, she will be having a hard time on her life as well or if you can't say it to the daughter then tell it to his mother at least, or if you can, tell the situation to the authorities.

If I'm in your situation, I'll tell it immediately to the kiddo. This will have a negative effect towards her moving forward to her life, and that's the one that I don't want to happen not only for my family, but for anybody around me.

I agree with you bor! this is a tough situation!! but i think telling the daughter is the right thing. she has the right to know what is going on in her father's life, otherwise she will just keep draining herself financially without understanding main reason why. it might not completely stop the father’s addiction, but at least she can make better decisions for herself and maybe push her dad towards getting help. sometimes stepping in feels uncomfortable, but keeping quiet might cause even more damage in the long run.

What's age of girl? And there are people who take advantage of their children, in that case, I would say, it's better to tell the girl about the case with his father that it's no good serving his addictions (and some parents don't deserve to be served at all) and should rather look forward to her own life.

I know you want to mind your business because you don't want to be responsible if anything bad happens in the future, but you not telling the girl what her dad is actually using the money for will probably ruin the girl's life in the future. You can tell the girl what her dad has been using the money for through a text message so that the girl will stop aiding her dad to gamble, and the man won't know you are the person that told his daughter what he has been using the money for.

It's quite tough maybe they won't need help and if you do they'll just turn you the bad actor, that's kinda sad but there are instances that it happens, but if you think it's the right thing to do then do it and he should face the consequences later on, at least he tried.

It's really sad to know that there are situations like these that going around but I do think they need help, his father needs help. Gambling addiction is a serious thing and we may sometimes think that these addicts should be responsible with what they do but some of the time when it affects his/her circle that's where we tend to sympathize and right here is one of the examples on where gambling addiction could draw the line.

It definitely feels like a contradiction if we expect adults to be responsible, including when they're addicted to something. I think it can lead to serious problems that affect the neighborhood too, not limited to family issues. At the very least, his circle will definitely be affected if the addiction grows stronger. I remember reading a criminal case where someone steal or attack someone else because they wanted to get money from them and gamble it away.

There are some ladies that will not take it very likely with you when you mention this kind of situation to them and especially when it concerns their parents, they won't take it likely with you and the man in question can even deny it that he doesn't gamble and what's going to be your evidence then. The only case where you can open up to the daughter is if you have a very good relationship with her.

There is no need to cover up such bad character from the girl when you know that whether you inform her now or later she will still fine out and be unhappy with you and her father which can affect the respect she has for the both parents the best thing is to notify her so that she would know what the man has been using the funds to do I believe it is her responsibility to stop sending the money if she wants. The man will not continue to gamble if she stops paying the money it could also help to stop him from gambling.

The father can properly to hide his habit to his daughter i think he don't want to know that he got heavy addicted from gambling but soon or later i am sure the daughter will know about this so, it's a matter of time but indeed as a neighbor this is hard because from other side you don't want the children to became an the victim but other side too this is family issue which if you intervere him probably the father will be uncomfortable from what you did

I think this is hard situation but in my opinion rather than talking to the daughter about his father habit it is more wise talking to the father himself that his addiction someday will bring negative impact to his children and not good for her mentality but the risk about this probably he cannot accept you suggest because you will be considered to interfere in his family bussiness and probably he will got mad of you

You're right, and I'm assuming that the young man in this case must have had a kind of relationship or credibility with the girl. In some cases, even without an established relationship, there's a way that you can actually approach the lady, and she'll know you're reasonably just talking to out of nothing but concern and she'll definitely reason with you. But if eventually she decides misunderstand your gesture and pick offense then it's left for her, at least you will be at peace knowing that you tried to help them salvage the situation and however they choose to react afterwards shouldn't concern you any further.

You can message the girl giving her a hint for what her father is doing before its too late, the future of the girl can be worse if you will not do anything now.
there are many ways you can do to let the girl know with out exposing your identity. This is just for me , but at the end, still you decision. You just need to think and put yourseslf as the girl with a dad who is addicted in gambling.

And you think if the daughter knows what is eating up her dad's money, she will still keep on giving her dad the money? No I don't think so, no one is happy spending money unnecessarily expecialy for what they are not seeing the outcome. I guess if the girl knows about this even if she will still give money to the dad it wouldn't be much again like before because she will be convinced about where the money is going and she will deliberately reduce gradually untill she has nothing to give anymore. You know information is power they said. One word can beeak a strong heart and in the other hands will also strengthen a weak heart.

As the daughter or child to someone, you know very well that your father has something doing that gives him earnings. Ordinarily, it used to be enough; even if there is an increase in expenses, it should not be all the time. Someone who cares about their father should be kind enough to investigate and ask what exactly is going on that's making the father ask for money more often than he used to.

Whatever you decide to do, it is up to you. Do whatever it helps you to sleep better at night and makes you feel a good person, as I already said, I would not mind too much if this a family issue, I would consider to say the truth to the daughter of the man, so she won't continue to endlessly spend her money on gambling.

Also, you should consider the possibility of the daughter already knowing her father is addicted to gambling and she just cannot bring herself to deny money to her father, because he is the one who raised her and gave her everything since she was a baby. I could sound ridiculous to us, but there are people who definitely have that kind of mindset out there in the world.

It is interesting how people keep minding their business in matters that doesn't directly affect them until it happens to them and they begin to run helter-skelter for solutions. When we talk about interference in family affairs, there should be some exceptions, like in matters that involves life and death or threatens one's peace and causes much pain. How do people live at peace with themselves knowing they know some information that can probably be of help to someone in pain?

I don't want to believe the daughter is enjoying all the financial struggles. If op is afraid not to be the bad person, he can send an anonymous message and allow the daughter to do her findings from there. Except the whole situation doesn't bother her, then she would relax.

Considering the possible effects on family relations, it is imperative to approach this discussion with compassion and care.  By telling the girl about her father's behaviour, you're emphasising that she should be held accountable for her financial support choices and that being honest is the best way to preserve respect and trust, even if it's challenging.  A cycle of reliance and harm may also be sustained if the girl keeps supporting her father's actions.

Yes, he can do that without revealing himself.
giving some hint on how his father spends recklessly the money she's sending to him.
Being that guy who's aware of what the real situation is and don't want to get involved, you're only protecting your peace.
But if that's not giving you peace then reveal to her what you know but don't feel guilty afterwards.

I believe that if a child is mature enough, they should be able to discern what they should and shouldn't do, including helping their parents. If they truly want to help their parents, they should be clear about their assistance and its purpose, specifically to improve themselves. Rather than continue to suffer the consequences, it's better not to receive any help or assistance.

That's not the case. If you still care about that family, then you need to be reminded, especially if you are still close to them. You should have a good emotional connection with them.

Because if something happens to them, you may end up being questioned or they may ask for your help in the future. As humans who are social creatures, involve yourself in the problem to resolve it peacefully, rather than ignoring it. However, you must also understand your limits so that you do not make mistakes that force you into their problems.

As for the age, I'll assume that she's young enough to not know which is good, which is bad, and what her father is doing is very wrong. If I will make a prediction, he's at around grade school or at least below 12 years old.

Anyway, it's just unfortunate for the kiddo to have this kind of parent. A parent who's indirectly abusing her daughter for his own good, and for his addiction to gambling. Ever since I saw this thread, I'm still thinking as to why the mother, or the other siblings of the girl didn't intervene knowing that they know better when it comes to gambling addiction compared to the her. Some said to the OP that he shouldn't intervene, and I think that's a good idea, so I would say that if the OP wanted to help the girl, telling it to the authorities is the best thing that he can do.

Since you are not a member of their family, I think you have no right to interfere into their life. A maximum what you can do is to give that girl some hints about considering finances of their family. But you have to do it very carefully. Because a stranger that gives advices always look suspicious. Father gambling addiction is their family problem and I am sure he is aware of that. If I was in such situation, as there is no direct harm to health of any person, no one is dying at the moment, then I would ignore this situation.

Gambling is so uncertain but the chance to lose must always be high, so we shouldn't wait to see the results. Using big amounts can also develop a habit if let say we win for a while. Gambling should be treated for fun only, so a small amount must be enough already. Some can even play it without real money involved.

Greed can stem with money but with what I said earlier that winning in gambling is tough, then it must not be greed that is killing most gamblers but it is the mentality of trying to make a revenge. I like the last thing that you said but there is still a possibility that he can touch other balance instead. So, it is important to keep on observing the person.

I feel bad for the daughter, my father would never do that to me even when he needs help, to my father it depends on where the help is coming from and why, a caring father would have exposed himself, tell her daughter the truth and ask her to help him beat the addiction.

A father figure always know when to make the hardest decisions, I know a father who left the hospital to die at home because he pity her daughter for paying the hospital bill all by herself, he stopped the medical treatment and left the hospital, the daughter begged him not to but his points are just too valid. This is what a caring father would do, it's selfishness to take from your daughter while its costing her a lot and also for wrong reasons, like gambling addiction.

I can hardly find the right words to describe the emotions someone feels when being deceived by someone as close as their own father. Usually, children of any age, whether they are 5 or 45, see their parents as a source of support and stability. That kind of betrayal cuts much deeper than if it came from another close person, because parents are the last people you would ever expect deceit or betrayal from, especially when it involves a large amount of money earned through hard work.

It's important to inform the daughter about what the father has been using the money.The daughter reserve the right person to either continue or stop since the father is not making a judicious use of the money.Then your troubled mind and conscious will be free.

exactly, if the children are grown up, they must be informed and then it will be up to them to decide whether to continue the relationship with them, they must understand that children are not animals, they are people and have their own conscience and their own decisions, so they absolutely must be informed, I agree with you

Well if I'm in your shoes i think I will just overlook since the daughter is not complaining, Moreover he's her dad so she's supposed to be sending him some money. I know that she will be hoping that her dad is using the money for something important not knowing that he's using those money she have been sending to gamble, you didn't mentioned his wife on this matter, does it mean  that he doesn't have a wife? Because had it mean he have a wife I'm sure that this wouldn't have happened as the wife will keep pressuring him to stop gambling and if he insisted then she will have to reach her daughter telling her about how the father have been using those money she have been sending to gamble.

Dude, this is not just bad luck, it is an addiction, a disease, which will destroy her entire family. I think the girl should be told calmly what is happening, don't scare her with scary words. Explain to her why this is a big problem, why she should stop giving money to her father, she should take receipt of every purchase from her father and see his bank statements to see what he has purchased. If the girl has to sell her personal belongings to encourage her father's gambling habit, then this is a real concern. If you think the girl is being exploited, then you can take help from the child welfare department. Push the father to seek help from a specialist psychiatrist or helpline.

In cases like this that involve family, it is just better to stay away. However, no one knows if the man, being the father, needs help. Because of what addiction is all about, he keeps gambling, and it is possible that the money which the girl normally gives to her father is being used for gambling. She may give all she has to her father just to support him, unknowingly contributing to his addiction.

If the girl seems like one who genuinely wants to help, it would be better to let her know, because the end of gambling addiction can be destructive and can affect both her father and her. However, before one thinks of doing this, there is a need to evaluate whether getting involved is worth it or if it is better to ignore the situation.

There are different cases, but when a daughter sends money to her father, who can pretend that he has nothing to eat, but continues to play, it is very sad, because she is still young and she needs money to live very much. It is hard enough for young people today, because the prices for everything are extremely high and a house, a car and a child cannot provide for themselves. By the way, in our country there are laws that parents can oblige an adult child to pay them money, because they raised them until they were 18, although this is somehow completely ridiculous in my opinion.

I understand that it's not good to meddle into other people's family affairs but abuse can get to a certain unbearable extent that we are forced to make a move. I agree that if we must step into another family's affairs we have to be wise and very careful so that we don't cause more harm than the good that we intended. Having said all this it means that the daughter needs to know that her father that she struggles to send money to support is an irresponsible gambler. I would find ways to indirectly let her to know about her father's gambling addiction and encourage her to investigate. If good people sees evil and keeps quiet it means that they are ok with it but we can interven with wisdom to correct wrongs.

The OP said that the father's gambling addiction has started affecting the girl adversely. He didn't specify the kind of effect; it could be that the girl has started struggling financially. It could be possible that she might be taking loans just to assist her father. It might be none of your business but you might be helping the young girl from going into deeper financial problems. Maybe telling the girl would be a good idea. 

Personalities are different, with my kind of personality, I will never feel guilty doing the right thing, even if it will cause a small rift between those involved. The only thing  that should make me feel guilty is me seeing the daughter struggle to send money to her addicted father. Gambling addiction is bad, taking advantage of an innocent lady is also very bad. Anyone who wants to involve himself in family affairs must do so with wisdom.

A sensible person wouldn't give an addict money to fund his habit. In this case, if the girl intends on financially dragging herself down with him, then she should also also reap the rewards of her actions. At some point, everyone gets fed up with dragging a liability along no matter how closely related that person may be to you.
You actually need to be understanding and also firm on your decisions regarding a friend or family member that's dealing with addiction. Give in to their antics, and you're going to find yourself picking the short end of the stick over and over again.

Even though I don't support that he should have anything to do with this but I don't think that if she's aware of what's going things would not change. If she knows that he is chronically addicted to Gambling there are ways to approach the issue and still take care of him, the best way to do that is to stop giving him money directly, all his needs would be taken care of without him purchasing anything by himself till his addiction is dealt with

A very difficult situation indeed... Gaming addiction affects not only the player, but the entire family, as you described. Revealing the truth to your daughter can be difficult, because she may not be prepared to deal with it alone and may feel guilty or even conflict with her father. Perhaps the best course of action is to seek professional help or support from close family members who can intervene appropriately. In these cases, talking to someone you trust or even seeking specialized support groups can make all the difference. The important thing is that this young woman doesn't carry alone a burden that isn't hers.

That's my opinion.

Actually it is very difficult to tell the truth and it really helps but at some point it's better one don't know than to know because if the person is not yet prepared for it, there will be some disagreement and unnecessary issues which would have been avoided if the OP didn't tell the daughter. Although it is important to let people know that you gamble so that they can help you in any areas which they can if you are becoming addicted.

We all have our principles and it differs on how we point the actual situation.
If OP is just like you that he's not going to feel bad when doing the right thing then, that's what he must do.
I'd like to see how this story goes and how the reaction of daughter and father after OP informs them anonymously.

It may be difficult but if the father is already keen to make progress I am sure the daughter would be most delighted. Openly communicating with her should be their usual so that way, nothing would hit the daughter unexpectedly. Though I know that’s not always possible but they should try. Over time their relationship would be better so long as the father recovers.

If the father recovers, the daughter might have second thoughts of sending him money again. This will completely break the trust of the daughter to his dad because if someone tells him that his dad is doing badly of her money, she'll feel bad about it. Is OP or anyone should tell her? I think that they should do. It is to protect both of their peace of mind because if the witness won't tell that, I am sure that they'll be bothered by their conscience for not telling it and that's why there is a need to tell it in any mean that they can do.

The real question should be -- how old is the daughter and what's her own source of income to begin with? Doesn't that bother him as a father who earns a monthly income, yet cannot stand accountable for what he spends it on?

How do you even allow your addiction to get so far beyond points that you don't even have the resources to perform your responsibility as a parent any longer? What fortune is he hoping to get some day? A type that can purchase 2 Bugatti Centodiecis with enough leftover to refill? If there's anyone that really needs an advise, it's the deadbeat father!

You may be right when you said that telling the girl would be a good idea, but what if you review everything to her and she didn't take any action all she could do is to ask her dad if what you said was true and maybe the dad denied the fact, you know at this point you're going to look like a betrayer in the face of her dad even the daughter will start feeling that maybe you're not just happy to see her sending money for her dad, this are the things you need to consider before taking any decision. But if you know that she will be convinced if you tell her about her dad's gambling lifestyle then you are free to do that, but I can assure you that after this you won't be having a good time with him anymore. Considering how far you both have gone, to avoid messing the friendship up I think what you have to do is to advice him to stop doing that, or better still you can threat him about letting the daughter know about this if he don't stop doing that I'm sure he's going to think about it.

If you tell truth about how dad spends money, wont conscience later ruin you, if after your actions family will start falling apart or father will lose connection with daughter. Because you will be the person who has started family to broke up. There is a very thin line between telling or not telling truth about father. Better ask yourself if you are ready to be responsible for everything that will happen after truth is revealed.

Whatever you decide it's up to you, but I will advice you to be careful sothat you will not inform her about her dad's gambling addiction and she went and ask her dad about it and it becomes a problem. You know women can be problematic in the sense that she may be asked by her dad to explain who told her and it happens that she will call your name and that will eventually leed to further problem. Who knows you might have problem with the father of the said young Lady. Just be careful on how to involve yourself in this matter because I know how this type of case usually ends.

I'm surprised you're still waiting with a warning. The girl not only spends money but also worsens his addiction. You shouldn't be indifferent in such cases, because it's not only the addicted player who suffers, but also the one who pays for him. All that money that the player's daughter wasted on her father could have been paid to doctors to completely cure him of his gambling addiction.


"Do not fear murderers, do not fear traitors - fear the indifferent, for with their silent consent all betrayals and murders are committed." In this case, gambling addiction can lead the father into a deep hole, from which it will be quite expensive to pull him out.

A wise man never meddles in issues going on in other peoples family. This is a sensitive issue but I wouldn't advice him to tell her straight up about her dad's problem, some gambler are very crafty and manipulative, he might say he's lying and probably cook up some stories st that end of the day his good deed might make him a villain I'm their sight. The only thing he can do is to tell her to have a conversation with her dad if she's sensing that something isn't right

This problem is not an uncommon one in gambling circles, there are many people out there who gamble & spend a lot of money without other family members knowing, like cancer that damages other parts of the body. If you care about that innocent girl, tell her about her father's bad habits, but you must be ready to accept all the consequences of your actions bros. :'(

Or situation can be like this: daughter is aware that father spends money on gambling but prefer to show that she is not aware of it. They try to stay in neutral relationship in family or try not to escalate conflict. Then OP comes and starts to attract daughters attention to fathers gambling, push on that, manipulate daughters opinion. Who knows, maybe she is ok with gambling, and we could get into "Do in Rome as the Romans do".

That after effect is something that needed to handle correctly, not all have same acceptance of the truth and there's always positive and negative side of it. Like you mentioned if the daughter is not ready to accept the truth it may backfire to OP if he will tell it and the father will deny the situation, though if ever that the daughter will listen things will be good especially if both the parties will accept it they might find ways to resolve the issue and possible to save the gambler with his addiction.

That is true mate. Even though op have some proof to justify himself, there's a higher chance that the whole case will stil affect op because the father or the lady might deny it just like you have said. There are things we shouldn't interfere into because it's none of our business. For peach to reign, it is better and safer to keep quiet than talk mostly when it has to do with neighbors and their families. The truth is that no matter how the case may be, the daughter might not have the mind to do the father bad for gambling. But she might blame op for not telling her early or for even telling her.

Gambling addiction is a bad thing that can ruin any relation or family especially when it happens to the man who is supposed to be the role model of the family. As much as possible, we should try never to be addicted to gambling and to do this, we should avoid being desperate to win and we should never treat gambling as a source of income because that will give birth to so many actions that will lead to addiction.

The situations are simpler than they seem. Gambling addicts should be initially offered help, but should they not accept it then they should be cut out of your lives. Don't keep bad people around just because you are blood related by chance. The daughter is at fault here, I would never allow this with my dad. For all I care he can land on the street. Those are the consequences of his actions, he must take responsibility for them. It is exactly the thing that he taught me to do in life.

If they are somebody close or important to them, then he should tell the girl. Otherwise it is best to stay out of these things, as far away as possible. Life is too short to get involved into random people's drama and issues.

@bakasabo thinks telling the daughter that her father is a gambling addict will ruin the relationship between the Father and daughter, but now I ask, isn't the addiction causing much ruins already? Should it be until the daughter breaks down before everyone will realise that she is going through alot from unknowingly funding a gambling addict. Tell her anyways, she'll definitely get disappointed in her father but their relationship will be fixed in no distant time and the man will get the help he deserves. It is a win win situation here. You can hide your identity while doing so.

To be addicted in gambling in something but happened to be an environmental Factor because without somebody being affected by people around him I don't think about the person would be addicted in the gambling and secondly I think that makes some people to be addicted in gambling is because of Chasing what you have lost in gambling, so if anyone should be looking for way to get what he has lost in gambling that is what push many people to be addicted to be addicted in gambling on gambling unknowingly, so if we gambles with what we can afford to lose won't be addicted in gambling

It's some unfortunate state of affairs for the dad and daughter,  but before breaking this news to the girl, is there no family members that can intervene in this...because already this sounds like Mum isn't in the picture and Dad is hurting if am to read the situation...
Btw , am pretty sure the girl knows or atleast has an idea of what's happening  because daughters and Dad's do get along well...probably the best person the dad needs is a former addict, find some one that has fought this and organize a sit down which should certainly help, good luck.

Is it really necessary to tell her the condition of her dad? Or you should just look for a way to advice her towards how she can manage to control her Dad towards this condition?

I think telling her about her Dad whereabouts is not bad because it will give her hint on how to go about it because I believe since she can get money to help him, she has grown up to a level that she knows what she is doing; you can tell her to know how she will talk to her Dad about it since she is not a small girl anymore.

One thing I will want you always remember is that this addiction is something that can’t just be taken a way easily because her father is a grownup man and knows what is good for himself, but for him to keep betting means he is completely addicted to gambling which will hardly leave him easily. Therefore, his daughter should be the tool to control his emotions towards gambling since he will repeat her if she approaches him in a good manner.

Don't call uncessary consequences to your self. It's a family issue, so let her find out by her self. Her dad knows when best to let her know and knows why he has kept it a secret from her all this while. In cases like this, one has to consider what relation he has with the family, so you don't be the one to cause problems for them. You might feel like you want to help to fix, but somethings are just supposed to be left unsaid.

One thing we all know is that her father is actually wrong here. He should know that his daughter has a life of her own to live, he's wasting her hard earned money on gambling, showing that he's an addict already...

If you put money on second place, and put family and relationship in front, then you might not want to ruin someones family because of money. Gambling addiction can be cured, relationship is much harder to recover. Right now addiction isnt ruining anything, as daughter is not aware of it. Give a chance that father might get lucky, win and finish with gambling. Instead, I would try to help that man, than telling his daughter about gambling addiction of her father.

That's exactly the point mate, trying to tell the daughter about her dad's gambling lifestyle is just a way of blowing things up because you're going to lose the relationship you had with the dad. who knows if he has been of help to you in the past so doing that is going to make it look as if you didn't acknowledge his efforts.

And yeah gambling addiction can be cured but relationship can take long before it can be recovered and even if you do the trust he had for you will no longer be there, so the best way to deal with it is just to talk senses into him.

Its might be considered as a good deed to tell daughter about father gambling activity, if we know that daughter will react appropriate or predicted on that info. If, after figuring out the truth, she starts to help to cure gambling addiction that is ok. But if she does nothing and makes  her relationship with father worse, that its not good. Its not good if she does not trust a person who tell truth. Simply dont believe in him. Then what, try to convince that her dad is a gambler? But that will be too much interfering in someones private life.

Just tell her the whole story, and let here does whatever she want. The better to tell here even when it's too late instead of let her always face the problems caused by her dad. I don't wanna see her dad to ruin his life just because his addictive gambling.
I know it might not be good in the different perspective, but he also deserves to hear the truth. There will always be consequence, but not wise to sacrifice innocent girl's life just to be milked by the addiction of his dad.

That sounds harsh, but believe me, it's the only way to save her future.

And how about you give a chance that daughter might get financially drained and maybe go bankrupt and fall into depression. imagine how devastating the aftereffect would be when she eventually finds out that her father literally put her in such a messed up state (which she's most likely to find out). I mean how much time exactly should they allow that to go on until the right thing is done? what if, just what if the father never secures a massive win or hit that jackpot. and even if he eventually does, what is the guarantee that all their problems will be over? because there's every tendency that greed could set in and in a twinkle of an eye, everything he won could be lost back into the casino, i mwan it happens all the time.

I dont what will be the right thing to do in this situation. But the way I see it, I would not interfere in someone else family, because I dont want someone interfere in my family and teach me how to live my life. For sure you dont want someone to come to you and tell that you are doing something wrong and start giving advices how and what you should do differently to have a better life.