Father becomes a Gambling addict and daughter faces father's consequences.

[Mr Reporter]

I will mind my business as usual, if the daughter decides to spend money on her dad unknowingly without a proper knowledge about her dad using the money to gamble then there’s nothing I can do.

I know you want to mind your business because you don't want to be responsible if anything bad happens in the future, but you not telling the girl what her dad is actually using the money for will probably ruin the girl's life in the future. You can tell the girl what her dad has been using the money for through a text message so that the girl will stop aiding her dad to gamble, and the man won't know you are the person that told his daughter what he has been using the money for.

There is no need to cover up such bad character from the girl when you know that whether you inform her now or later she will still fine out and be unhappy with you and her father which can affect the respect she has for the both parents the best thing is to notify her so that she would know what the man has been using the funds to do I believe it is her responsibility to stop sending the money if she wants. The man will not continue to gamble if she stops paying the money it could also help to stop him from gambling.

Considering the possible effects on family relations, it is imperative to approach this discussion with compassion and care.  By telling the girl about her father's behaviour, you're emphasising that she should be held accountable for her financial support choices and that being honest is the best way to preserve respect and trust, even if it's challenging.  A cycle of reliance and harm may also be sustained if the girl keeps supporting her father's actions.

[terrific]

I don't want to believe the daughter is enjoying all the financial struggles. If op is afraid not to be the bad person, he can send an anonymous message and allow the daughter to do her findings from there. Except the whole situation doesn't bother her, then she would relax.

Yes, he can do that without revealing himself.
giving some hint on how his father spends recklessly the money she's sending to him.
Being that guy who's aware of what the real situation is and don't want to get involved, you're only protecting your peace.
But if that's not giving you peace then reveal to her what you know but don't feel guilty afterwards.

[junder]

What's age of girl? And there are people who take advantage of their children, in that case, I would say, it's better to tell the girl about the case with his father that it's no good serving his addictions (and some parents don't deserve to be served at all) and should rather look forward to her own life.

I believe that if a child is mature enough, they should be able to discern what they should and shouldn't do, including helping their parents. If they truly want to help their parents, they should be clear about their assistance and its purpose, specifically to improve themselves. Rather than continue to suffer the consequences, it's better not to receive any help or assistance.

[Akbarkoe]

Don't intervene, you might end up putting yourself in a situation where you might start regretting your actions...One of my principles Is that I never get involved in other peoples family issues, even though it might seem like you need to speak up and tell his daughter what is actually going on that is not going to be a good move..sooner or later she is going to find out, things like this don't stay hidden for long

That's not the case. If you still care about that family, then you need to be reminded, especially if you are still close to them. You should have a good emotional connection with them.

Because if something happens to them, you may end up being questioned or they may ask for your help in the future. As humans who are social creatures, involve yourself in the problem to resolve it peacefully, rather than ignoring it. However, you must also understand your limits so that you do not make mistakes that force you into their problems.

[LogitechMouse]

What's age of girl? And there are people who take advantage of their children, in that case, I would say, it's better to tell the girl about the case with his father that it's no good serving his addictions (and some parents don't deserve to be served at all) and should rather look forward to her own life.

I believe that if a child is mature enough, they should be able to discern what they should and shouldn't do, including helping their parents. If they truly want to help their parents, they should be clear about their assistance and its purpose, specifically to improve themselves. Rather than continue to suffer the consequences, it's better not to receive any help or assistance.

As for the age, I'll assume that she's young enough to not know which is good, which is bad, and what her father is doing is very wrong. If I will make a prediction, he's at around grade school or at least below 12 years old.

Anyway, it's just unfortunate for the kiddo to have this kind of parent. A parent who's indirectly abusing her daughter for his own good, and for his addiction to gambling. Ever since I saw this thread, I'm still thinking as to why the mother, or the other siblings of the girl didn't intervene knowing that they know better when it comes to gambling addiction compared to the her. Some said to the OP that he shouldn't intervene, and I think that's a good idea, so I would say that if the OP wanted to help the girl, telling it to the authorities is the best thing that he can do.

[bakasabo]

now my question is that is it good for me to inform this innocent girl about the cause of her dad constant demand of money? or should I forget about it to avoid problem? Or if you noticed this type of situation what would you do to help the situation because the girl is getting bankrup servicing his father's addiction unknowingly?

Since you are not a member of their family, I think you have no right to interfere into their life. A maximum what you can do is to give that girl some hints about considering finances of their family. But you have to do it very carefully. Because a stranger that gives advices always look suspicious. Father gambling addiction is their family problem and I am sure he is aware of that. If I was in such situation, as there is no direct harm to health of any person, no one is dying at the moment, then I would ignore this situation.

[M47AK16]

The man failed to understand the little principles of gambling, gambling with huge amount is not bad but the question now is can you afford to loss that amount if you didn't win? At least from his salary he can allocate small percent of his salary for gambling and not all, what is killing most gamblers is greed.
I will say the earlier the better it is important you hint the daughter about his father's situation before her daughter's account balance turn red i believe if the father stop seeing money he can gamble and his addict rate will drop and i think you are the right position to bell the cat.

Gambling is so uncertain but the chance to lose must always be high, so we shouldn't wait to see the results. Using big amounts can also develop a habit if let say we win for a while. Gambling should be treated for fun only, so a small amount must be enough already. Some can even play it without real money involved.

Greed can stem with money but with what I said earlier that winning in gambling is tough, then it must not be greed that is killing most gamblers but it is the mentality of trying to make a revenge. I like the last thing that you said but there is still a possibility that he can touch other balance instead. So, it is important to keep on observing the person.

[Outhue]

I feel bad for the daughter, my father would never do that to me even when he needs help, to my father it depends on where the help is coming from and why, a caring father would have exposed himself, tell her daughter the truth and ask her to help him beat the addiction.

A father figure always know when to make the hardest decisions, I know a father who left the hospital to die at home because he pity her daughter for paying the hospital bill all by herself, he stopped the medical treatment and left the hospital, the daughter begged him not to but his points are just too valid. This is what a caring father would do, it's selfishness to take from your daughter while its costing her a lot and also for wrong reasons, like gambling addiction.

[purple_sparkles]

I feel bad for the daughter, my father would never do that to me even when he needs help, to my father it depends on where the help is coming from and why, a caring father would have exposed himself, tell her daughter the truth and ask her to help him beat the addiction.

A father figure always know when to make the hardest decisions, I know a father who left the hospital to die at home because he pity her daughter for paying the hospital bill all by herself, he stopped the medical treatment and left the hospital, the daughter begged him not to but his points are just too valid. This is what a caring father would do, it's selfishness to take from your daughter while its costing her a lot and also for wrong reasons, like gambling addiction.

I can hardly find the right words to describe the emotions someone feels when being deceived by someone as close as their own father. Usually, children of any age, whether they are 5 or 45, see their parents as a source of support and stability. That kind of betrayal cuts much deeper than if it came from another close person, because parents are the last people you would ever expect deceit or betrayal from, especially when it involves a large amount of money earned through hard work.

[Pauldesaints]

It's important to inform the daughter about what the father has been using the money.The daughter reserve the right person to either continue or stop since the father is not making a judicious use of the money.Then your troubled mind and conscious will be free.

[giorgione]

It's important to inform the daughter about what the father has been using the money.The daughter reserve the right person to either continue or stop since the father is not making a judicious use of the money.Then your troubled mind and conscious will be free.

exactly, if the children are grown up, they must be informed and then it will be up to them to decide whether to continue the relationship with them, they must understand that children are not animals, they are people and have their own conscience and their own decisions, so they absolutely must be informed, I agree with you

[Judith87403]

Well if I'm in your shoes i think I will just overlook since the daughter is not complaining, Moreover he's her dad so she's supposed to be sending him some money. I know that she will be hoping that her dad is using the money for something important not knowing that he's using those money she have been sending to gamble, you didn't mentioned his wife on this matter, does it mean  that he doesn't have a wife? Because had it mean he have a wife I'm sure that this wouldn't have happened as the wife will keep pressuring him to stop gambling and if he insisted then she will have to reach her daughter telling her about how the father have been using those money she have been sending to gamble.

[₿itcoin]

Dude, this is not just bad luck, it is an addiction, a disease, which will destroy her entire family. I think the girl should be told calmly what is happening, don't scare her with scary words. Explain to her why this is a big problem, why she should stop giving money to her father, she should take receipt of every purchase from her father and see his bank statements to see what he has purchased. If the girl has to sell her personal belongings to encourage her father's gambling habit, then this is a real concern. If you think the girl is being exploited, then you can take help from the child welfare department. Push the father to seek help from a specialist psychiatrist or helpline.

[Rockstarguy]

now my question is that is it good for me to inform this innocent girl about the cause of her dad constant demand of money? or should I forget about it to avoid problem? Or if you noticed this type of situation what would you do to help the situation because the girl is getting bankrup servicing his father's addiction unknowingly?

This is a family issue, but if your conscience can bear how the daughter suffers from his father's addiction, then you can walk away and ignore.
The daughter deserves to know the truth because it's her money, and she is a caring person who supports her family's needs. I will tell her that she doesn't deserve this kind of hardship, and they can resolve the issue early on before it becomes too late.

In cases like this that involve family, it is just better to stay away. However, no one knows if the man, being the father, needs help. Because of what addiction is all about, he keeps gambling, and it is possible that the money which the girl normally gives to her father is being used for gambling. She may give all she has to her father just to support him, unknowingly contributing to his addiction.

If the girl seems like one who genuinely wants to help, it would be better to let her know, because the end of gambling addiction can be destructive and can affect both her father and her. However, before one thinks of doing this, there is a need to evaluate whether getting involved is worth it or if it is better to ignore the situation.

[sompitonov]

Well if I'm in your shoes i think I will just overlook since the daughter is not complaining, Moreover he's her dad so she's supposed to be sending him some money. I know that she will be hoping that her dad is using the money for something important not knowing that he's using those money she have been sending to gamble, you didn't mentioned his wife on this matter, does it mean  that he doesn't have a wife? Because had it mean he have a wife I'm sure that this wouldn't have happened as the wife will keep pressuring him to stop gambling and if he insisted then she will have to reach her daughter telling her about how the father have been using those money she have been sending to gamble.

There are different cases, but when a daughter sends money to her father, who can pretend that he has nothing to eat, but continues to play, it is very sad, because she is still young and she needs money to live very much. It is hard enough for young people today, because the prices for everything are extremely high and a house, a car and a child cannot provide for themselves. By the way, in our country there are laws that parents can oblige an adult child to pay them money, because they raised them until they were 18, although this is somehow completely ridiculous in my opinion.

[Kelward]

I don't want to believe the daughter is enjoying all the financial struggles. If op is afraid not to be the bad person, he can send an anonymous message and allow the daughter to do her findings from there. Except the whole situation doesn't bother her, then she would relax.

Yes, he can do that without revealing himself.
giving some hint on how his father spends recklessly the money she's sending to him.
Being that guy who's aware of what the real situation is and don't want to get involved, you're only protecting your peace.
But if that's not giving you peace then reveal to her what you know but don't feel guilty afterwards.

I understand that it's not good to meddle into other people's family affairs but abuse can get to a certain unbearable extent that we are forced to make a move. I agree that if we must step into another family's affairs we have to be wise and very careful so that we don't cause more harm than the good that we intended. Having said all this it means that the daughter needs to know that her father that she struggles to send money to support is an irresponsible gambler. I would find ways to indirectly let her to know about her father's gambling addiction and encourage her to investigate. If good people sees evil and keeps quiet it means that they are ok with it but we can interven with wisdom to correct wrongs.

[Fiatless]

Well if I'm in your shoes i think I will just overlook since the daughter is not complaining, Moreover he's her dad so she's supposed to be sending him some money. I know that she will be hoping that her dad is using the money for something important not knowing that he's using those money she have been sending to gamble, you didn't mentioned his wife on this matter, does it mean  that he doesn't have a wife? Because had it mean he have a wife I'm sure that this wouldn't have happened as the wife will keep pressuring him to stop gambling and if he insisted then she will have to reach her daughter telling her about how the father have been using those money she have been sending to gamble.

The OP said that the father's gambling addiction has started affecting the girl adversely. He didn't specify the kind of effect; it could be that the girl has started struggling financially. It could be possible that she might be taking loans just to assist her father. It might be none of your business but you might be helping the young girl from going into deeper financial problems. Maybe telling the girl would be a good idea. 

[uchegod-21]

I don't want to believe the daughter is enjoying all the financial struggles. If op is afraid not to be the bad person, he can send an anonymous message and allow the daughter to do her findings from there. Except the whole situation doesn't bother her, then she would relax.

Yes, he can do that without revealing himself.
giving some hint on how his father spends recklessly the money she's sending to him.
Being that guy who's aware of what the real situation is and don't want to get involved, you're only protecting your peace.
But if that's not giving you peace then reveal to her what you know but don't feel guilty afterwards.

Personalities are different, with my kind of personality, I will never feel guilty doing the right thing, even if it will cause a small rift between those involved. The only thing  that should make me feel guilty is me seeing the daughter struggle to send money to her addicted father. Gambling addiction is bad, taking advantage of an innocent lady is also very bad. Anyone who wants to involve himself in family affairs must do so with wisdom.

[Iroh]

And you think if the daughter knows what is eating up her dad's money, she will still keep on giving her dad the money? No I don't think so, no one is happy spending money unnecessarily expecialy for what they are not seeing the outcome. I guess if the girl knows about this even if she will still give money to the dad it wouldn't be much again like before because she will be convinced about where the money is going and she will deliberately reduce gradually untill she has nothing to give anymore. You know information is power they said. One word can beeak a strong heart and in the other hands will also strengthen a weak heart.

A sensible person wouldn't give an addict money to fund his habit. In this case, if the girl intends on financially dragging herself down with him, then she should also also reap the rewards of her actions. At some point, everyone gets fed up with dragging a liability along no matter how closely related that person may be to you.
You actually need to be understanding and also firm on your decisions regarding a friend or family member that's dealing with addiction. Give in to their antics, and you're going to find yourself picking the short end of the stick over and over again.

[rachael9385]

The daughter should know that her father has a financial problem. She may not know it's due to gambling but she would probably have seen enough to know her father has issues financially.
I think if you told her about his gambling issues, I doubt it would change anything. The daughter would probably still be trying her best to take care of her dad. It also depends on how close you are to the family. If you're just the neighbor and nothing more to the family, then you could subtly give a hint and see how that would be received before you say more.

Even though I don't support that he should have anything to do with this but I don't think that if she's aware of what's going things would not change. If she knows that he is chronically addicted to Gambling there are ways to approach the issue and still take care of him, the best way to do that is to stop giving him money directly, all his needs would be taken care of without him purchasing anything by himself till his addiction is dealt with