Bitcoin Forum

You sell shares in your CPU mining farm.

...Thead closes due to lack of interest.

You can't take a joke. :(

you start flaming potential lenders even before they have responded to an outrageous request for coins

you have fewer posts than you have excuses why PayPal is the only method of payment you can use.

you give away a 500 Amazon gift card to a randomly drawn person.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D93295KpIZw

lol

...you go around vehemently saying how much you hate scammers.

...you claim persecution after a polite request for more information.

...you say: I'm honest. Trust me.

...you create a throwaway account and come on the forum saying, "Help! My wallet's contents were stolen and there's absolutely no way to find the thief. Tell me how it might have happened. And how he's obfuscating his trail. Step by step. In detail."

You are already a scammer...

lol.

You have more sock puppets than total posts.

Your first post in "Newbies" consist of a request to the admins that you need to get out of "newbie jail' ASAP, for you have a product/service that will bring Bitcoin to the mainstream. Once released, either by serving your time or blowing somebody, you head immediately to the current hottest thread to spew vile comments, the intended goal all along, never again mentioning the panacea for Bitcoin outlined in your first post of which, for some unknown reason, Gremlins hacked into this forum and performed only one malicious act--deleting said post.

~Cackling Bear~

I find this hilarious Gage lol :D

I'll try one. If you jump straight into the loans section asking for a loan after getting out of newbie status (or jail maybe?) to get your fix :D

You might be a scammer if you start off by making a hundred nonsense posts, mostly in Of topic, to become a Full Member. Then, after some idle time, you starts hanging around in the Lending ...

Oh ...
Never mind.

...you say I am trolling you.

what about if you are trolling them?

marked

I would be trolling them, wouldn't I?

Please take this in the humor in which it is intended. Not implying anything here.


You sell a BitCoin Magazine that keeps missing dead lines.

Touché. ^_^

... if your name is Matthew N. Wright.

...or terrytibbs.

Nah, you're a rehabilitated scammer ;)

I admit it guys. I am such a scanner. The other day I scanned like 300 pages from a book and using OCR made it into a PDF for later perusal. Wait, did you say scammer?

Terry is rehabilitated, you're still in the process of becoming one ;)

Yea, I think we all understood what you were implying the first time. If scamming means to provide honest services and products at better quality and standards than offered before, count me in.

...you mastered the fine of art of evading...

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b192/CoventryCat86/ban.jpg

If you're waiting for me to start hurling insults and flaming everyone, I'm sorry to disappoint you.

...you think a post in this thread is specifically directed at you even though it was made before you registered your account.

I holy-fuckin' lol'd... Wow.

this feeling might be more likely felt by sock-puppeteers

... you were the person who sent me that email about your cousin the prince in Nigeria who just needs me to mind some bitcoin in my wallet for a while, and just wanted me to send them a bitcoin first to pay for the lawyers.

...You think this thread is about you and begin to troll it.

...you post on another account responding to yourself.

Happened twice this week!

Hahaha.

lol

He, he!

Teehee!!!

You'd be surprised what sleep deprivation will cause you not to see. It was an odd coincidence. Enough for me to think it was about the minefield incident. Of course, looking back, it's a stupid mistake on my part.

You goto IRC and post:  <Honest> Buying 10-150btc for $7 each.. Paypal.. Willing to email proof of ID

when the price is $5.

Gotta do something with all those fake IDs that the banks are just now catching on to.

Could some of you please send me 100 BTC?
I want to test wether my client works fine on large amounts.  ;D

So sorry, but this test is scheduled in my project plan at a later stage.  :P

I already sent you 100 btc. I'd like it back asap.

Me too.

...you refuse to pay the $1,000 USD bounty to someone who tried to help prove that you're not a scammer.

I've read that that happened once, but it eludes me as to whom he was. Perhaps, it'll come back to me.

~Bruno~

Again so sorry, but not yet scheduled in my project plan.  ;D

...you try to buy bitcoins with PayPal and have post in the past that one day you will no longer be a noob and will help others.

~Cackling Bear~

PS: psy is a rotten egg. https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=77541.msg861888#msg861888

I swear, some day I'll buy you diner Phinn ;)

FTFM

Yeah, I also wouldn't have diner with myself even if I was paying :P

Looks like I've been scammed again and won't be getting dinner. Lucky one of us is into autofellatio but would try to convince others that it's not him. You go first.  ;D

~Cackling Bear~

Dogs lick their own balls all day long and nobody raises even an eyebrow...

...you're not me.

Btw, that's not my wallet you're grabbing  >:(

I can say there is no phallophobia in recent posts leading me to conclude the existance of heterophobia with a pronounced coitophobia or eurotophobia steming from gynephobia. Seriously, and psy only retracts autoinitiated dinner offers because of severe deipnophobia.

Just my homophobic perspective.  :P

I LOL'ed... Pretty hard!

And I didn't retracted anything ;)
Anytime Bruno comes to Portugal he can rest assured I'll be glad to meet him and pay him a couple or more diners, or launches, or drinks!
And you can bet if I ever go to Sandwich, IL I'll ask for him :P

But if I were to go to Portugal simply for a sandwich, I assume the deal's off.

http://s3.amazonaws.com/foodspotting-ec2/reviews/1374573/thumb_600.jpg?1330092080

Not really.  lol And why would you come to Portugal for a sandwich? There are better things around here lol

You use SolidCoin.

You created, support, or otherwise promote SolidCoin.

If you solicit bitcoins to bring awareness to sodium chlorite as a cure all.

~Bruno~

What about Dihydrogen Monoxide? Terrorists!

Germany launched a hydrogen bomb (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LZ_129_Hindenburg) on New Jersey!

You don't identify on the OTC.

What's eurotophobia?  Fear of the continent of Europe? Or perhaps the Euro currency? (cf. erotophobia)

You don't give people their change back after they overpay you.

If your first post in Newbie is offering up a new Bitcoin exchange that accepts PayPal, coupled with stating that you've never been a member of this forum before. I'm just saying, for I doubt if such an event is currently taking place but, then again, I've been known to mask my intent when posting (there should be a word for such a ploy).

~Bruno~

O come on, that sounds like fun, thread please?

Should be easy to find, for if I were me, and not saying that I am, for I reserve that right in defense when I post that in a few minutes I'll be dead, I would look at my last few posts and see if I could find it there, perhaps in the Newbie section. I'm not saying that such a post may exist, but that's where I would look first.

~Jon~

EDIT: This has nothing to do with Atlas, but injected certain comments for impact. Now where did I put the hemlock.

...you revert to calling users trolls when certain aspects of your business model are questioned. Now where the hell have I read this done before? Can't remember, but do recall it didn't turn out well.

~Bruno~

...Yankee starts asking questions.  ;D

You might be a scammer if your name is Tomatocage.

Are you sure you aren't mixing him up with the impostor account "Tomatocaqe" <-- note the "Q" where the "G" should be....

I never mix tomatoes.

...you spelled your name wrong on your official website.

You comb people's websites and try to find a reason to snipe at them.

...you monitor this thread, making sure there's no inferred references directed at you.

Oh shit, I'm screwed!

I did not have sexual intercourse with rjk.

So you have to fuck me in order to NOT be a scammer?

... even more screwed :(



.

.

;D

Nope, just making sure everyone realised that your quote wasn't an reference directed at me. 'Oh shit, I'm screwed' by ...

Is there any way I can get in on this action or, so far, lack thereof? I promise to moan out loud, "I'm a scammer! I'm a scammer!" if that sort of thing excites you (not sure which you this is directed towards, butt...).

Oh that's cold.

Funny though.  ;D

This thread turned into a bear convention all of a sudden  :-\

Move this to the Speculation board, maybe?

...

Good god man, I wouldn't wish that on anybody.  ;)

You claim copyright infringement to get a youtube channel shutdown even though you have no valid claim.

You use an identity of a recent inactive Twitter account that coincides with an eBay, Etsy, MySpace, Facebook, etc., account(s), then use that name indirectly as proof as to who you claim you are. This one is my favorite, for the name is always linked to a real person. FD: I'm talking about someone that reads this thread.

..... you wait for someone to try to dox you, and then sadly admit you are whoever the first incorrect result is, and explain why you have that warrant out against you, laughing all the while because *still* no one knows who the hell you are.

...you start a thread offering a new exchange service in Newbie, but abandon said thread to make way for your sock puppet(s) to offer up a better alternative, one also with a built-in poor business model.

...you copy an investment fund's website right down to the typo in the CSS, then promise a 5% daily return

...if 3 out of the 4 topics you started on the forum are about finding methods to easily exploit Bitcoin.

FTFU!

You ask for 8 BTC for your new, vague startup company.

Lol, Well I was asking around for 20btc (former GLBSE asset creation fee) when I was getting ready to start Cognitive ;)


Hahaha!

you are everywhere.

You've advocated Bitcoin for the pass several months via your pseudonym(s), but not once from your social media account(s), although you're clearly linked to them.

You maintain so many sock puppets that if you opened up a store to sell them, all the ventriloquist puppeteers worldwide would have to file bankruptcy.

You do such a fine job cloaking your true persona that not even a seasoned member of this forum, one that has come to your defense on several occasions, has a clue as to who you are.

You offer an identical service, one that promises big rewards, over at the linden dollar forum (and possibly on other virtual currency forums) under a different pseudonym and using different sock puppets, but purposely never mentioned Bitcoin there nor mentioned linden dollars here, coupled with having a clueless loyal following at each coming to your defense when naysayers post their concerns.

Keyword must be "vague" then

...you title your last thread Fuck You Guys!

"last"?

...you title what you though was going to be your last thread Fuck You Guys!, until your dick got hard again and decided to come back for seconds...thirds...fourths...(to be cont.)

Ouch....lol

...you have $18K in LR, but come here to beg for a loan to start a business.

...and allow your father to be sexually abused for the sake of your scam proceeding on a public forum ?

Hypothetically in the mind of some twisted perverts like Gage and bitlane.... LOL

... you're named imsaguy.

Wait just a damn minute here... is it good to be a scammer or bad? This whole moving target thing is getting out of hand- next we will have DickFlap as a moderator, and ShortBusCoin as the cryptocurrency of choice!

...
Note how this guy isn't asking for handouts or hawking some PayPal-to-Bitcoin scheme. This bastard must be up to something.

I'm thinking it might be time to create a new identity just so I can come back and open a whole bunch of newbie threads offering to exchange PayPal for PayPal and Bitcoin for Bitcoin. And then my great business idea about having a business that is a business about having ideas about having businesses, and sharing that business idea with the whole world that doesn't know about businesses that are about ideas about businesses. I could probably get it going for a couple of hundred bitcoins, and I know a lot of cool stuff that I could put in my idea too, so what do you think?

Oh, and I bought some magic beans at bitmit, and I grew a magical bitcoin plant that mines bitcoins for free with no electricity, so if you want to invest with me, I can give you great returns of one percent per hour if you invest a minimum of 18,000 bitcoins, subject to a very small service fee, and depending if my server gets hacked, but I'm going to trust all of you with the login and root password so you can keep and eye on it for me. I'm calling it the Glass Extraordinarily Tricky Syndicate Created Eventually When Expecting Donations, so that I can always say it is transparent, and that when you send me your funds you are going to GETSCREWED.

See? That was one of those ideas, and I haven't gotten a damned donation or investment yet, so hurry up and send me some bitcoins.

Donations accepted at 13kzGM6HoC6EbPQmdgFNSDJAGTB6gxYJCR, investments go to 1DJB8XA4mhKbWH4SVu4e3m3nRMMSg1j1Lu. Don't forget to send me a pm and tell me how much you invested so I can get my priorities straightened. And add some fields to my database, cause that sounded like a good idea too.

And if you appreciate the humor inherent in this post you could always donate to my single-malt fund: 1GDDRHH2E53jkssULfFjDAvPSYokDBBrzn.

Thanks for all the fish.

Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

(With apologies to Zhou for the following humor)

Claim to be asian.
Claim to be a teenager.
Claim to be a member of Mensa. (don't bother searching for that one)
Don't forget pre-penned apology and I'm-leaving-Bitcoin/this forum letters.
Put 420 in your user name, maybe without the 2. (now where did that come from?)
Incorporate every idea on this thread, sans fucking somebody's dad, but that'll be your call.

As soon as you are out of the newbie forum, you post on the Lending subforum, refusing requests for a picture citing your scalp + rubber allergy.

That ^

Claim 1: I am Irish, we invented and discovered Asia.
Claim 2: I could be a teenager if I could divide by three. Then I would be 17 and a third.
Claim 3: I actually am. Qualified with my SAT scores. Pretty freakin' awesome what a 1545 combined would do for you back then. The chicks are not that hot, and all they want to do is solve puzzles. I quit.
Reminder 1: Like I said I'm Irish, we don't apologize for anything. But our writing will leave you in tears, so if I ever did apologize you would probably die of the grief that you would experience sharing it with me.
Put 1: There is 420 in my nick, but you have to play it backwards on a turntable to understand it, and half of you would probably kill yourselves if you heard the message.
Incorporate 1: Hey, I invented the interwebz, I already HAD every idea on this thread. Although second on the whole dad-boinking issue. Moms are still in play, especially the hot ones that know how to bake like an angel, and bang like a whore. And only have tats where they can't be seen by casual acquaintances. And hate kittens. You know who you are baby, tell Daddy who's going in the blender tonight!

You might be a Scammer if, yolo.