I rarely cross post stuff from SomethingAwful here, but every now and then goons take something and run with it with amusing results.

From Admiral Snackbar.

Leapt they through hoops? Nae! Nor Wrote they 'pistles -
Naught but warps and weaves so friv'lously scatter'd!
They dare thereby to seek some recompense?

Not winged Mercury himself could hope
to return those bitcoins faster than I!
Through his error t'was I who suffer'd grief,
my name besmirched, my pride so sorely bruised!

He cast blame on me, whose purse already
grieved the loss of countless precious hash codes!

Such vicious strains of ranc'rous vitriol
brought neither near to vict'ry so desired;
the quarrel let us therefore lay to rest.

'Tis true, my plans thus far have nought produced,
Nor yet have they been joined by any fellows.
Yet this small truth entitles me to claim -

Sine Victus.

and

Occurred a thing most unsolicitéd:
'Twas not so long, perhaps two days ago,
A man from Me great cheer elicitéd -
I stand so fine a friend, he told Me so!

But wait! Before you think Me full of pride,
or gay, perhaps, repressed and under-sexed,
there's proof this false belief may be belied:
Behold, I've won a date for Sabbath next!

Think not, withal, that your misdeeds, though slight,
shall go unpunished, Matthew, once again.
Test not My starch, My Wrath do not incite;
for I, your Foe, am quite beyond your ken!

While life doth oft My Blesséd Worth affirm -
despite what some have recently alleged -
'tis you whose judgement proves to be infirm:
your feeble feint flew forth not fully fledged!

Where there is iambic pentameter, there must also be Haiku.

From paragon1.

Public buses are bad.
Ninety-five Ford Explorer
Donations please.

From red19fire.

Will not take the bus
Ninety-four Ford Explorer
No more, and no less

Manager of fur
Casino, my destiny
Business name goes here

This is not my fault
Let me go buy the card now
ten percent profit

From Howard Beale.

Haiku syllables
There are seventeen, all told
Like petition names

From RZApublican.

Theater's like Ford
Both can handle my driving
Into the ground

How are you calculating that?  The guidelines I found say that one standard drink (defined as about 10gms of alcohol in Australia) raises a woman's blood alcohol concentration by approximately 0.03% and that the liver metabolises alcohol at the rate of between 3/4 and 1 standard drink an hour. 

A standard drink of 11.5% wine would be 150 mls, so one and a half bottles of wine would have put her at 0.24% maximum before allowing for it being metabolised.  Given that at least some of what she consumed had probably been metabolised (I'm pretty sure there were reports of her being drunk earlier in the day), she likely consumed at least 16 standard drinks. 

Being a seasoned drinker doesn't make your liver metabolise alcohol faster - it can actually impair the process if your liver is already damaged.  Tolerance does mean that you have to drink more to feel the same effects (both positive and negative), though, and that can easily lead to people consuming potentially lethal levels.

Maged makes an important point about people considering those in online communities to which they belong as trustworthy friends.  For some people, fellow members of online communities are the only ones with whom they feel any connection at all.

People tend to verbalise suicidal ideation in the hope that others can somehow relieve their despair.  It would be fair to say that they want others to understand and acknowledge the depth of that despair and sense of hopelessness but it's not usually simple "attention-seeking" in the common sense of that term.  I think it tends to get labelled that way because people assume that if someone talks about killing themselves and doesn't go on to make an attempt, it somehow proves that they were "only bluffing".  In my experience, that assumption is invalid (and the research seems to support the proposition that openly expressed suicidal ideation is a cry for help).  

I think it would be helpful if Rassah clarified his use of the term "threatened suicide", because I'm not sure that we're talking about the same thing here.  I belong to a demographic which has a 15% lifetime risk of completed suicide, so my interest in this discussion isn't entirely academic.

n/m

See poetry thread.

There was a thread on SA about this when the story first broke a few months ago.  I'll try to track it down when the forum comes back up in a couple of hours.  It was an interesting discussion in which a few researchers participated.

I'm leaving for work in 10 minutes.  I fully expect to come home to the mother of all internet bitch fights and I'm going to be really pissed of if you guys drop the ball on this.

You're making the mistake of assuming that Atlas doesn't understand the arguments people have been making about forced mining.  He understands them - he just doesn't agree with them.

There's nothing like a typo in 18 point red.

Can you guys hurry up and post the next round of this internet bitch fight?  I have to go to work in a couple of hours and I need my morning drama fix before I leave.

Why on earth aren't you asking 4 chan if you're a channer?  They're still into internet detection, doxing people and harassing them in real life.  They'd probably track down whatever you wanted to know just for shit and giggles.

I guess I don't want to know what ebaumsworld is, do I?

The current legal threat is from shit-eaters.  Yes, I'm serious.  The people at fetlife are very unhappy with SA right now.  Apparently they think it's illegal to mock people who publicly post about their shit fetish (among other things).  You should really read the personals on fetlife.

You're also missing a few totally bizarre e/n threads (I'd buy logansryche an SA membership if I thought I could convince the mods to confine him to e/n).

I've seen way more internet detecting and doxing of fellow members here than I've ever seen on SA, to be honest. 

That's because you long for the days when if you didn't F5 all night long there'd be 10 new pages in the GBS thread and it would take half the morning to work out what they were about.  I haven't refreshed this often since the last instalment of the dollfucker saga.

I doubt that me or anyone else saying "no" would make the slightest bit of difference to whether or not you're going to continue obsessing over Atlas.  Whether you want to rescue him, punish him or a bit of both, this is one drama I suspect is going to play out to an inevitably bitter end.

It's Mt Gox.  It's become a universal law that at least one of their deposit or withdrawal methods won't be working properly at any given point in time.

Unfortunately they're not in my time zone, so I'm stuck with whatever's on TV after about 8pm.   

They lock the forums about once a month in an attempt to get people to register.  It will be open again soon.

And holy shit.  I come back from work and this thread has really gone down the rabbit hole.

FFS Matthew, take a break from obsessing about Atlas and go prepare some tough questions for your interview with MagicalTux.

This thread needs to be [CLOSED - due to lack of rationality].

We'll have 4 channers here before the week is out at this rate.

Fuck I wish a mod would come along and dump all these threads in the Projects forum.