i couldn't think of anything new to say because its all been said a million times before
so i thought id just regurgitate an old post.
you know, just like my buddy BADecker does on this thread (and others) twenty-four/seven...
ie.. repeats the same old pious drivel because he likes the echo chamber.
I'm waiting for the day when he goes to a real science forum and posts his boiler plate
links he regurgitates here on a regular basis. that would be quite funny to see all his "science is religion" bollocks ripped to shreds.
.....but I'm not holding my breath
anyway...BUMP (apologies to those who saw the earlier post its copied from)
So Jesus and Moses were hanging out in heaven, totally bored (what a surprise)
So Jesus says "dude, I'm sick of this shit, lets go downstairs to earth where the real action is and have some fun.
Lets go do miracles!"
Moses with a gleam in his eye, replys "oh I'm there dude! lets do it man, I still have my chops! So, how 'bout we head to the old holy land .?
Maybe even find a talking bush and set it on fire! But I aint wandering in the desert! Its too frikkin hot and these sandels give me blisters."
So... (you always start a good story with "so" these days. "AND SO" if its religious babble..I mean Bible nonsense)....
So, Jesus is like "cool bro, how 'bout you grab that big ole staff of yours and you part the Red Sea just for shitz n giggles!?"
So, Moses is like " oh yeah and then you walk across the water and maybe even leap over the big ole chasm I make!
oh,and dont forget to to turn the water into a couple a jugs of wine cuz we're gonna partaaaay brother!! (none of that Riunite shit tho)
"Sounds like a plan my man!" replies the true messiah himself.
AND SO.. they headed down to earth and they arrive at holy land beach.
AND SO... Moses turns towards the Red Sea and lifts his staff on high and spreads his arms to the heavens.
AND SO... the angels began to sing and the gentle sea breeze turned into a raging gale, and the waters of the Red Sea were parted.
THEN Moses lowered his arms,
AND with a smug grin on his face, turned back to face Jesus. OK dude your turn, lets see you do your thing!
AND SO... with a flourish of his robes, Jesus steps onto the waters of the Red Sea and begins to stride across without so much as a ripple.
"Check it out bro! now I'm gonna walk out on water, run and jump over the the giant part in the Red Sea you just made! wooo hooo "
But to Moses' bewilderment, halfway across the water just as Jesus gets up to leaping speed, with each step taken he slowly starts sinking into
the water! Moses watches with horror as his buddy,the Saviour, the son of God himself, the true Messiah is now splashing and flailing helplessly in the drink.
Poor Jesus begins to choke while the waves toss him around like a waterlogged rag doll.
AND SO...Moses,upon seeing his side kick, the almighty Messiah,clearly in trouble, swims out to save him from his watery grave.
AND Moses drags Jesus,using the lifeguard hold, back thru the now un-parted choppy Red Sea (he had to drop his staff, you see)
AND Moses lays The Savior out on the beach, "Hey Jesus" says an enlightened Moses,as he looked down
on his buddy on his back with arms outstetched no less,"I got an idea...now you can make a sand Angel!".
AND SO..Jesus flapped his arms and legs in the sand and HE DID make a sand angel!
AND SO..Between gasps and hack- ups of mouthfuls of salt water Jesus splutters
"Moses I'm saved! You SAVED me... Praise the lord!... oh wait... I AM the lord!....damn it bro, what went wrong?"
Moses slapped a consoling hand on Jesus' shoulder and said,
"Don't worry about it, dude. Last time you tried it, you didn't have holes in your feet."......
PA DA BOOM PSHHHHH
...."hey, nice sand angel tho!".....
"Religion is excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet."
"All religions have been made by men."
"If I had to choose a religion, the sun as the universal giver of life would be my god."
"How can you have order in a state without religion? For, when one man is dying of hunger near another who is ill of surfeit, he cannot resign himself to this difference unless there is an authority which declares ´God wills it thus.´ Religion is
excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet."
"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich."
"I am surrounded by priests who repeat incessantly that their kingdom is not of this world, and yet they lay their hands on everything they can get."
Bonaparte, Napoleon ,
French emperor
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