Mods can you delete this thread please?  I got a loan from my parents.  Thanks.

Yes, I know this is literally the worst thing to do (noob, no previous posts, asking for a loan), but I am in need and have already tried btcjam/ bitbond without any success.  I am in need of $1000 which equates to 2.62 bitcoins.  I am 23 years old.  I'm an Eagle Scout, and can easily share my LinkedIn and Facebook to prove I'm legit.  I have collateral in the form of Magic the Gathering cards:

Tabernacle of Pendrell Vale (Italian mint/ pics provided on request)
Ancestral Recall (unlimited, slight whitening top of card)
Rishadan Port (Japanese mint, signed by artist)
Jace Beleren (book promo mint)
2 Sensei's Divining Top (Korean/ mint + 1 English/ mint)
2 Infernal Tutor (mint)
2 Mox Diamond (mint/ Stronghold)
2 Mox Diamond (mint/ Ftv)
1 Windswept Heath (mint)
1 Flooded Plains (mint)
2 Breeding Pool (mint/ Dissension)
2 Scalding Tarn (mint)
1 Arid Mesa (mint)
1 Jace the Mind Sculptor (mint/ Worldwake)

pics for everything.  I have a part time job, making $500 a month, and I can repay perhaps $100/200 each month.  I have ghost-writing experience too, and as a service can provide essay writing or novella writing/ research/ whatever relating to writing.  Anything you want to know about me, I can readily answer.