Requesting 2.62 bitcoins, have Legacy/ Vintage Mtg cards as collateral

[quick_fingers_draw]

Yes, I know this is literally the worst thing to do (noob, no previous posts, asking for a loan), but I am in need and have already tried btcjam/ bitbond without any success.  I am in need of $1000 which equates to 2.62 bitcoins.  I am 23 years old.  I'm an Eagle Scout, and can easily share my LinkedIn and Facebook to prove I'm legit.  I have collateral in the form of Magic the Gathering cards:

Tabernacle of Pendrell Vale (Italian mint/ pics provided on request)
Ancestral Recall (unlimited, slight whitening top of card)
Rishadan Port (Japanese mint, signed by artist)
Jace Beleren (book promo mint)
2 Sensei's Divining Top (Korean/ mint + 1 English/ mint)
2 Infernal Tutor (mint)
2 Mox Diamond (mint/ Stronghold)
2 Mox Diamond (mint/ Ftv)
1 Windswept Heath (mint)
1 Flooded Plains (mint)
2 Breeding Pool (mint/ Dissension)
2 Scalding Tarn (mint)
1 Arid Mesa (mint)
1 Jace the Mind Sculptor (mint/ Worldwake)

pics for everything.  I have a part time job, making $500 a month, and I can repay perhaps $100/200 each month.  I have ghost-writing experience too, and as a service can provide essay writing or novella writing/ research/ whatever relating to writing.  Anything you want to know about me, I can readily answer. 

[1715387057]

1715387057

[1715387057]

1715387057

[Vod]

It would help if you could provide links where we can see how much each card can easily be sold for should you default.

Remember, you will have to physically mail these cards to the lender (or an escrow) BEFORE you get your coins.

Finally, it would help your case if you posted the interest you would repay, and how much you would repay each month, without guessing.

[quick_fingers_draw]

Mods can you delete this thread please?  I got a loan from my parents.  Thanks.