Bring your best economic jokes

[Realpra]

Swiss:
You have 5000 cows. None is yours but you get paid from their owners for keeping them.

I love this thread.

Stole this here "http://nd.edu/~jstiver/jokes.htm":
"A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job.

The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?" The mathematician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four, exactly."

Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."

Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says, "What do you want it to equal"?"

[Severian]

more like

the 1st law of Economic...  for every economist there is an equal and opposite economist

the 2nd law o economics..  they are both most likely wrong

Ben and Paul, two economists, are walking down the street. They see a pile of dogshit.

Ben says to Paul, "I'll give you $5000 if you eat that dogshit."

Paul chokes it down and gets paid. They continue on their walk.

They see another pile of dogshit. Paul says to Ben, "I'll give you $5000 if you eat that dogshit."

Ben chokes it down and gets paid. They continue on their walk.

After a couple of blocks, Paul says to Ben, "You realize we just ate dogshit."

Ben says, "But we initiated $10,000 in trade."

[niko]

"Say you have two cows:

In capitalism your boss butchers them both for profit, live rich a while and then you all starve next year.

In communism the government takes your cows and give you half their milk.

In a democracy the two other guys vote for you doing all the work and getting 1/4 of the milk.

In a theocracy you sacrifice your cows to your god and starve to death while praying all day.

In Africa you neglect your two cows to death and get three new and better ones in foreign aid.

In a bureaucracy the government milks one of them, shoots the other and then pours the milk on the ground."

Social:
You have two cows, your neighbor none.  You feel bad because you work successfully. You elect people that Tax your cows heavily. That forces you to sell one of your cows. The people you voted for take the money from your taxes buy your cow and give it to you neighbor.

Liberal:
You have two cows, you neighbor none. ...So what?

US-American:
You sell one cow and lease it back. You form a cooperation. Now you force both cows to give the triple amount of milk. One of the cows dies due to you treatment. You hold a press conference announcing that you have halved you costs. You stocks skyrocket.

Japanese:
You have two cows. You create a manga called cowminton and publish it wordwide. You make millions.

German:
You two cows show up on their own on exactly the same time each day, giving exactly the same amount of milk in perfect quality. Sadly your cows want 13 Weeks of holiday a year.

Italian:
You are pretty sure you have two cows, but you can’t find them. While searching for them you see a beautiful woman. Life is great.

French:
You have two cows. You strike because you want to have three cows.

Swiss:
You have 5000 cows. None is yours but you get paid from their owners for keeping them.

New Zealand:
You have two cows. The one on the left looks attractive.

[bitcoinbear]

Who was the best financier in the Bible?

Noah - he floated his stock while the rest of the world was in liquidation!

[Raize]

A man was sent to Hell for his sins. As he was being processed, he passed a room where an economist he knew was having an intimate conversation with a beautiful woman.

"What a crummy deal!" The man complained. "I have to burn for all eternity and that economist spends it with that gorgeous woman."

An escorting demon jabs the man with his pitchfork and shouts, "Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"