Bitcoin Nigerian Scam writing competition [1 BTC]

[da2ce7]

In response to lastminer's poorly written scams, I am holding a competition for the making the best bitcoin Nigerian email style scam!

The winner will be the most creative, believable, and well written.

Include your Bitcoin address in the post for tips.

This thread will be closed in 1 week and a new thread will be created to vote on the winner.

Have fun!  

[SgtSpike]

Are we allowed to plagiarize existing scam letters, or does it have to be from scratch?

[da2ce7]

Are we allowed to plagiarize existing scam letters, or does it have to be from scratch?

Of course you are allowed to plagiarize... the question is "are people going to vote for me if I plagiarize?"

[Creepster]

Pay up, or i will post nudes

19xXewZffaShFcSys19sj63rWr3HTd5w5D

[speeder]

dear friend,

i'm vary poor girl from the interblag. i lost my wallet.dat, my virginity, my family and my mind in teh last few weeks. and now i live on the streets wiht my laptop and need some moar monies for english lessons to write high qualety spam mail for chinese companny.

plese send me small amount of your coins.

my bitcoin address is:
14obCg79xyWiadJKvhcqB4yGroWw56HjcQ

may the coin be with you!
wendy k.

[Isepick]

Mining is unprofitable! Buy bitcoins instead!

Oh wait, this is the Nigerian scam thread, not the Ponzi scam thread.

[kjj]

Subject: Dear Respected One,

Dear Respected One,

GREETINGS,

Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you. I got your contact from the International web site directory. I prayed over it and selected your name among other names due to it's esteeming nature and the recommendations given to me as a reputable and trust worthy person I can do business with and by the recommendations I must not hesitate to confide in you for this simple and sincere business.

I am Wumi Abdul; the only Daughter of late Mr and Mrs George Abdul. My father was a very wealthy cocoa merchant in Abidjan,the economic capital of Ivory Coast before he was poisoned to death by his business associates on one of their outing to discus on a business deal. When my mother died on the 21st October 1984, my father took me and my younger brother HASSAN special because we are motherless. Before the death of my father on 30th June 2008 in a private hospital here in Abidjan. He secretly called me on his bedside and told me that he has a sum of 12.500.000 BTC (Twelve Million, five hundred thousand bitcoins) left in a secure wallet.

He also explained to me that it was because of this wealth and some huge amount of bitcoins his business associates supposed to balance his from the deal they had that he was poisoned by his business associates, that I should seek for a God fearing foreign partner in a country of my choice where I will transfer these bitcoins and use it for investment purpose, (such as real estate management).

Sadly, he died while he was telling me the public key that matches the account, so some advance funding will be required to crack the remaining 43 bits of the private key. Sir, we are honourably seeking your assistance in the following ways.

1) To provide a bitcoin address where these bitcoins will be transferred to once the key recovery is complete.

2) To serve as the guardian of this since I am a girl of 16 years.

3) To provide an advance of 1.000 BTC (One thousand bitcoins) to be used to purchase computers that will be used to search for the remainder of the private key.

Moreover Sir, we are willing to offer you 15% of the sum as compensation for effort input after the successful recovery and transfer of this fund to your designate account. please feel free to contact ,me via this bitcoin address 1N8ZXx2cuMzqBYSK72X4DAy1UdDbZQNPLf

Anticipating to hear from you soon.
Thanks and God Bless.
Best regards.
Miss Wumi Abdul

[bitlotto]

Help me please! I've found a "Bitcoin wallet" on some old computer at my computer refurbishing shop from a thrown out computer with a balance of 1000 BTC. I only have one of the addresses for the wallet written down. My boss saw the computer and doesn't believe me that the computer is mine so he told me to send 10 BTC to it to prove to him that's its mine. He doesn't get how it works so he doesn't believe me when I say all my money is already in that wallet. If you sent 10 BTC to: 13kadb... he will think it's mine and I'll get it back. For your help I'll give you 300 BTC. Thanks.

Of course spelling mistakes would have to be everywhere.

[da2ce7]

...30th June 2008 in a private hospital here in Abidjan. He secretly called me on his bedside and told me that he has a sum of 12.500.000 BTC ...

12.500.000 bitcoins did not exist back then, lol they don't even exist now.

...crack the remaining 43 bits of the private key...

That is to-many bits to brute-force crack,  also memorising a full private key is unbelievable.

...me via this bitcoin address 1N8ZXx2cuMzqBYSK72X4DAy1UdDbZQNPLf

You cannot contact people through their bitcoin address.

Overall good effort, however not particularly believable.  We certainly can do better than that!

The best one I've seen so far has been by bitlotto

Edit: how many bits would be considered too hard?

[kjj]

Heh.  Those errors are intentional.  There are more hidden too, including a really big one.

I could have gone more realistic, but I figured I'd go for the authentic 419 flavor this time.

[SgtSpike]

It is obvious that this proposal will come to you as a
suprise. This is because we have not met before but I am inspired to
sending you this email by the huge fund transfer opportunity that
will be of mutual benefit to the two of us.

However, I am Barrister Martins jide,the personal
attorney to the late Engr. Suk Hun Wufei flody, a Citizen of
Japan, who used to work with Nigerian National
Petrolum Co-operatrion (NNPC).

On the 26th of April 2011, my client,his wife and
their three were involved in a fatal house explossion at
Nigerian National Petrolum Co-operatrion (NNPC)
quaters Lagos.

Unfortunately they all lost their lives including
other people in the premises.Since then I have made
several enquiries to several Embassies to locate any
of my clients extended relatives, this has also proved successful.
After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided
to trace his relatives over the Internet to locate any
member of his family but of no avail, hence I
contacted you.

I contacted you to assist in repartrating the money
and property left behind by my client since I have no
place to locate any of his relatives. I can easily
convince the bank with my legal practice that you are
the only surviving relation of my client.Otherwise the Estate he
left behind will be confiscated or declared unserviceable by the
bank where this huge deposits were lodged.

Particularly, My late client had an account with one
of the bitcoin depositories in Republic of Ghana valued at about
BTC 1.2 Million (One Million Two Hundred Thousand
Bitcoins) which I witness the
documentations and the documents are with me.

Conseqently,The bank issued me a notice to provide the
next of kin to my client since I have been unsuccesfull in
locating the relatives.

I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the deceased
so that the proceeds of this account valued at BTC 1.2 Million (One Million
Two Hundred Thousand Bitcoins) will be paid into
your Bitcoin account and then you and I can share the money. 55% to me and 40%
to you,while 5% should be for expenses,tax as your government may require.

I have all necessary legal documents that can be used
to back up any claim we may make. All I require is
your honest cooperation to enable us see this deal
through. I guarantee that this will be executed under
a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from
any breach of the law.

Please get in touch with me by return email .

Yours Faithfully,

Barrister Martins jide

N.B. Please indicate your telephone and fax numbers
for easy communication in this mutual transaction.

[frycicle]

It's me Tabitha, I really don't mean to inconvenience you right now, I made a little trip to UK and I misplaced my passport and credit cards, please I know this may sound odd, but it all happened very fast. I need to get a new passport, and get on the next available flight home. I've been to the  embassy, they're willing to help, but I'm out of bitcoins and I have minimum access from here. Can you loan me some bitcoins and I'll be willing to pay you as soon as I get home.
Please reply as soon as you get this message, so I can forward the details as to where to send the funds, you can try reaching me on this number for now, +447024035615
 
I await your response
Tabitha Kim

I actually got this email. It was hilarious.

[kuba_10]

Hello my friend, my name is Abdul MBABAKO from Nigeria, I am the big king of the Gabameke tribe and my tribe is using Bitcoin much. My cousin Chief Minister for Fuel in Lagos has 21 million bitcoins in his account overseas, and he is willing to take it but his connection with underground computer broke So i need you to pay 500 BTC fees to help him buy new connection to computer when he bitcoin has and he will send you ten percent that is 2.1 million bitcoins this is a big deal please sent money to address 13oouSxquJWe7DNYPQ8x4Esinnasxw1JmE your sincerely
God bless,
Abdul MBABAKO
Tribe King
Nigeria

My address is composed into the poem.

[speeder]

Now that the thread has significant replies, and padding, I must say the scam I posted is a REAL one.

Yes, it is NOT A JOKE, I ACTUALLY RECEIVED THAT OVER E-MAIL!!!!

The sender was wendyk@mailueberfall.de I have no idea who is that one.

I've forwarded this to some people, if you doubt it

Also, whoever wrote that scam, is a visitor of #bitcoin-otc because when I commented there about the scam, I received a e-mail reply (hilarious XD)

[ThomasV]

In response to lastminer's poorly written scams, I am holding a competition for the making the best bitcoin Nigerian email style scam!

The winner will be the most creative, believable, and well written.

Include your Bitcoin address in the post for tips.

This thread will be closed in 1 week and a new thread will be created to vote on the winner.

Have fun! 

see my business proposal from 2 months ago : http://forum.bitcoin.org/index.php?topic=5589.0
the proposal still holds, although the amounts should be revised due to deflation.
I did not include my bitcoin address in the proposal because I am a prince, not a beggar.

[LMGTFY]

Arrived safely, and in receipt of full 100,000 BTC, but laptop confiscated at customs and I am aware that email and other comms channels are being monitored. Without the laptop I no longer have my wallet or your bitcoin address. Send me 0.1 BTC at [MyBitcoin or MtGox bitcoin address here] to confirm the address and I'll send the 100,000 BTC to the address the transaction originated from. Be quick: I need to exit the country ASAP.

Don't use any names, make it look like an email sent to the wrong address by a really inept spy or dodgy courier. Spam it far and wide in as short a time frame as possible. Hopefully enough people will think "OK, so it's clearly not intended for me, but hey! If I reply I get 100,000 BTC!"

I'm not a professional scammer (well, I would say that, wouldn't I!) so I may have made some glaring error that would prevent this working. Hopefully.

[jerfelix]

Contest parameters:
- The winner will be the most creative, believable, and well written.
- You are allowed to plagiarize.


This is a "no brainer".   All I need to do is to come up with Bitcoin related text that can convince tens of thousands of people to spend their hard-earned money on a promise of riches, with no track-record of results.

I respectfully submit the document that can be found at this link:
http://www.bitcoin.org/bitcoin.pdf

Creative, believable, and well written.

Please send my winnings to the address below.

[tomcollins]

http://forum.bitcoin.org/?topic=5750.msg104953#msg104953

[jimbobway]

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am inquiring you on this day because my mother has lung cancer and is in need of some medical assistance.  I was seeking a bank wire to my bank account of $5000 USD.  However, my bank has stopped all transactions that are under my name due to my name resembling the Wikileaks founder, Julian Assange.  My mother may die a slow and painful death if I do not obtain this money to pay for her surgery.  I recently discovered that bitcoins could be a way to transfer money and I am seeking your help because you are a kind and wealthy individual that was lucky enough to earn all of your bitcoins.  Please send payment in bitcoins to 1GETVVdhsNpfoyPSdt4n6S7Eep5va2DBwb and I will pray for you and your family.  Any amount will do.  When you ascend in the heavens you will be rewarded with many, many virgins.

Jules Assango
1GETVVdhsNpfoyPSdt4n6S7Eep5va2DBwb

[Bit_Happy]

Your Amazing Future!  

Dear Sir and Madam,
My country is on the verge of sinking into bloody violence, despair, and economic chaos.
Some people would choose less alarming words to describe the same reality.
Many of our citizens live in tents, go without any healthy food, and our cities are full of cruel gang-land murders.

My father LeRoytosioous Rouusangoldsilverburg (RIP) managed to raise our family in wealthy surroundings,
even though we were poor, and often living in fear from lack of money and security.
You can be inspired to help people in a time of need,
while also making yourself rich way beyond your wildest dreams!

You have seen many offers of "mutual benefit for us both",
however this is your Genuine Once-(in)-A-Lifetime Opportunity. (GOAL Opportunity)
You can work with the Global Achievers Co-operation and Competition Society. (GACACS)
The primary GOAL Opportunities you will discover with GACACS are as follows:

1) We will help create at least 3 Billionaires in under 10 years.
2) GACACS will always operate with the highest standards of honesty and integrity allowed by law.
3) You have a wonderful, Genuine Once-(in)-A-Lifetime Opportunity (GOAL Opportunity) to become both wealthy and happy;
For what good is money if you are a miserable, broken, shattered,
and drug-addicted "Hollywood Star" type of person.


Fortunately your life is about to take a major turn for the better,
Since I have made several years of my life disappear while passionately working to
develop your special, never seen before series of epic GACACS Adventures.

The 3 biggest (Billionaire) winners will tend to be the most creative, believable, generous,
and well written responses to the highest level offers in this thread.  (Link provided ASAP, please stay tuned)
Here is a brief over-view of exactly why you should be paying attention,
almost like your happy future depends on the next couple of exciting decisions you will make.

A) Almost anything is possible.
B) Believe in yourself; don't let others stop you from thinking and dreaming BIG!
C) Coins can turn into Gold! ... and so can unique Web projects!!
D) (my) Desperation offers you opportunity...
E) Eventually, the hardest part about you making Billions will be to avoid the temptation to sell out too early.
F) For this (part E), I need your help almost as much as you need my unique talents.
G) Gold, Silver, Bitcoins, Euros, Time, Land, Energy, and Unique Web Properties...
H) Having a balanced approach is what you need.
I) I am an Entrepreneur and I plan to help create at least 3 or 4 Billionaires in under 10 years.
J) Just because you never encountered anyone like me before... >>> exactly the reason why I can claim to be offering you a Genuine Once-(in)-A-Lifetime Opportunity. (GOAL Opportunity)
K) Kindly consider, Dear Sir and Madam, that "different can be good".

L) Losers follow existing trends and laugh at people like me;
Winners embrace daring new adventures (GOAL Opportunities),
And want to fly on Virgin Airlines to our 2015 to 2028 annual conferences on luxurious Branson Island.

M) My main job is to "con you" into getting excited about what a small group of people can accomplish.
N) No one in the world has a better 'job' than me.
O) Oh, by the way, I am in a truly desperate short-term cash crunch,
And you now know I am the type of person you can enjoy having a long-term "mutual benefit for us both" type of relationship.
P) Please, allow yourself the time to see a brief, important video intro to your Great GACACS Adventures!
Q) Questions can be asked here: For future Billionaires and multi-millionaires, (Link provided ASAP, please stay tuned)
 ...Also Questions and contest entries here for talented writers. >>> @ the link in my sig

R) Really time-now-for you to answer one question, quietly deep inside, please ask yourself "What Is My Dream for a better life?"
S) Some of you will get to learn the details of 5 (or more) great, trend-setting opportunities,
each of which is destined to become a multi-billion dollar business.
T) To learn a few brief, important details, please watch this video. (Link provided ASAP, please stay tuned)
U) Use your Imagination.
V) Victory comes to those who act in a passionately calm and rationally crazy manner!
W) We cannot fail since enthusiasm is the Golden key to success!!!


x-Y-Z) Soon to be: Outsourced to the writers contest!    



Quick Summary:

Dear Sir and Madam,
My country is on the verge of sinking into bloody violence, despair, and economic chaos.
Some people would choose less alarming words to describe the same reality, since I still live in the USA.
...
My father LeRoytosioous Rouusangoldsilverburg (RIP) managed to raise our family in wealthy surroundings,
Even though we were poor, and often living in fear from lack of money and security...
...

1) We will help create at least 3 Billionaires in under 10 years...

...
A) Almost anything is possible.
B) Believe in yourself; don't let others stop you from thinking and dreaming BIG!
...
 
L) Losers follow existing trends and laugh at people like me;
Winners embrace daring new adventures (GOAL Opportunities),
And want to fly on Virgin Airlines to our 2015 to 2028 annual conferences on luxurious Branson Island.
...
S) Some of you will get to learn the details of 5 (or more) great, trend-setting opportunities
each of which is destined to become a multi-billion dollar business.
T) To learn a few brief, important details, please watch this video.  (Link provided ASAP, please stay tuned)

Thank you,
LeRoytosioous Rouusangoldsilverburg III  (aka Bit_Happy)

ps. I have a serious need to buy food soon*, *please* leave tips at my address and your Good Karma will help make you rich!   Tips/Sharing= 1ALWW8nFuCcJ2jo9waJAGqE2s917ihb985

*Note: My lack of 'traditional responsibilities' and poor planning (missed deadlines during development) does not disqualify me from helping you form an Epic, Enduring Effort to get Excited about what a small group of people can accomplish.