Confess your sins

[btcANGEL]

The Hour of Reckoning is near¹. Confess and receive forgiveness² for all³ of your⁴ sins.

The goats⁵ shall cling to their heavy purses, and the weight will drag them down beneath the waves⁶, even as its value evaporates up the Mountain of Gox. And the sheep will gather on the beach, pointing and laughing, and saying "Divine mercy has freed us from the consequences of our actions!⁷ Our coins are saved!⁸"

For nothing that man has built shall last, but trust ratings and scammer tags are eternal.


¹ Probably not later than next Monday.
² Valued at 666BTC per sin, nontransferable.
³ Limit 7 per soul.
⁴ Including sockpuppets, alpaca or otherwise.
⁵ If you haven't voted yet, this means you.
⁶ Those of you with brain or paper wallets should be safe. Casascius users may wish to begin breathing deeply and thinking floaty thoughts.
⁷ Or "how do i get my $$$ into this gox thing why wont anyone give me free coins! i need to get in on this pirate thing IRGHT NOW BEFORE IT CLOSES! your all mean! NOT SHARING IS JUST LIKE STEALING 6% FROM ME im losing money by the second plz help!!!!  "
⁸ Always have a backup copy.

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[Foxpup]

What? You mean all those things are sins? My God*, what sort of horrible person am I? Is there no hope for me? Oh wait, you said "with bitcoins". Well, I haven't committed all of them with bitcoins, so I guess I still have a chance for redemption. I've just got a few things on that list to check off first...

*I don't actually believe in God, but I refer to Him in my exclamations anyway. I hope that's not a sin too...