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Author Topic: Couple Arrested For Selling Golden Tickets To Heaven  (Read 625 times)
UliJonHoth (OP)
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May 31, 2015, 04:51:24 PM
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Tito Watts said in his police statement:

I don’t care what the police say. The tickets are solid gold… it ain’t cut up two by fours I spray painted gold. And it was Jesus who give them to me behind the KFC and said to sell them so I could get me some money to go to outer space. I met an alien named Stevie who said if I got the cash together he’d take me and my wife on his flying saucer to his planet that’s made entirely of crack cocaine. You can smoke all the crack cocaine there you want… totally free. So, try to send an innocent man to jail and see what happens. You should arrest Jesus because he’s the one that gave me the golden tickets and said to sell them. I’m willing to wear a wire and set Jesus up…

Amanda Watts said in her police statement:

We just wanted to leave earth and go to space and smoke rock cocaine. I didn’t do nothing. Tito sold the golden tickets to heaven. I just watched.

Police said they confiscated over $10,000 in cash, five crack pipes and a baby alligator.


http://stuppid.com/arrested-selling-golden-tickets-heaven/
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May 31, 2015, 05:14:22 PM
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What....  That is just too outlandish.  Besides those two look completely reputable.  I would feel happy to give them money for whatever they wanted to sell.
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August 03, 2015, 12:35:35 AM
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Yeah for sure! Those two are the people Jesus chose to sell tickets so can other people sin all their life and than buy a ticket to heaven for a thousand bucks. Jesus gave the key to heaven to two crack addicts. They smoked a lot of crack those days.
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August 03, 2015, 05:28:17 AM
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How the fuck did these dingbats manage to collect $10,000?
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August 03, 2015, 07:30:13 AM
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They know nothing of shitcoins, but we are heading in the right direction Cheesy Cheesy

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August 03, 2015, 07:42:35 AM
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These two would be great emplyees to any new pump n dump shit coin.
Just goes to show religious people will buy anything they believe will get them into heaven.

*New marketing campaign*
Only people with bitcoin get into heaven, buy now religious nuts!
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August 03, 2015, 07:44:42 AM
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These two would be great emplyees to any new pump n dump shit coin.
Just goes to show religious people will buy anything they believe will get them into heaven.

*New marketing campaign*
Only people with bitcoin get into heaven, buy now religious nuts!

I agree, good employees Cheesy Cheesy

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August 03, 2015, 07:54:47 AM
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...
Police said they confiscated over $10,000 in cash, five crack pipes and a baby alligator.

Seems legit.
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August 03, 2015, 08:30:01 AM
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Who wants to join me for the launch of Godcoin?
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August 03, 2015, 08:34:37 AM
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How the fuck did these dingbats manage to collect $10,000?

Because they didn't http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/goldentickets.asp

A white person called Tito should set off alarm bells  Cheesy

The last line of police said they confiscated over $10,000 in cash, five crack pipes and a baby alligator did make me laugh, though.
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August 03, 2015, 08:36:41 AM
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...
Police said they confiscated over $10,000 in cash, five crack pipes and a baby alligator.

Seems legit.

True, why Did they get arrested? They should close down all the churches if they arrested them for that. But I think they should be arrested for drugs use, and get an alligator XD

For rent
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August 03, 2015, 08:38:24 AM
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Who wants to join me for the launch of Godcoin?

Flying Spaguetti Monster Coin mmmm...

For rent
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