3000-6000 BTC loan - Hookah Lounge - 9/18/12 Update

[repentance]

[drekk]

Dank, I swear to God [...]

u mad?

[fgervais]

Dank, I swear to God, the smartest part of you ran down your mother's ass-crack and ended up a stain on the goddamn mattress. You are dumber than a bag of fucking hair, and have all the music talent of a three day old raccoon corpse.

Your music is full of distortion, there is not a SINGLE bit of musical talent in the entire thing. To top it off, in the month or so you have been practicing you cannot even play a single tune at all, when most students are at the point they can plink out on or two little songs on their electric guitar that don't make people feel like you are raping their soul.

You stated that good music you can feel in your soul. That's true. Music can uplift you, raise you up to new heights. Music brings me to great heights of creativity. During the war music helped take my mind off of immanent death or pumped us up for what we were doing. During peace-time music let all the stress of the day flow out of me and let me create things, enjoy life with my friends, and even added something to sex with my girlfriend (now wife). Listening to Dream Weaver, laying there, covered in love-sweat, both of us breathing heavy, is a memory I've held onto during the darkest times.

Your "music" would make my dick go limp, my balls fall off, her pussy slam shut, and cover us both with the audio equivalent of hissing spiders that shoot acid. If you forced soldiers to play it in the zone there would be fratricides and suicide pacts. Prisoners of War would file charges of violation of the Geneva Convention. UN Observers would kill themselves. If you played it during a prison riot the prisoners would descend into a cannibalistic frenzy and the prison would end up like the one in The Suffering. If you played it on the Space Station they'd open the airlocks so your terrible music couldn't travel through the air through sound-waves. If you were to play it the Xenomorphs in Aliens would kill each other and write "PRAY FOR MOJO!" on the wall in their own acidic blood. Superman would ram his head into a kryptonite wall at lightspeed to get away from your music. Your music is so bad it would turn Lex Luthor into an Amish man. It's so bad that somewhere there is a Russian scientific panel trying to decide if America has figured out how to released a sound that kills upon the internet.

You are not the world's worst guitar player simply because you are not playing it. You are playing guitar in the same manner that a hobo screaming from a street corner is giving a State of the Union address. Both are making sounds, that is it.

You are to music what Vogon Poetry is to literature.

You beg for others to support you on the internet, you're basically a panhandler who accepts bitcoin. In that way, and only in that way, are you on the cutting edge of anything, as most panhandlers prefer money. They also make more than you.

You insistence that humans are evolving exponentially ignores both evolutionary theory, science, and cold hard facts. You are actually devolving and have set back the entire human race with your so-called music. Your music, by itself, will be looked at as having completely nullified the advances in the art of music by at least 3 great artists. Somewhere there is a man rapping about how much he likes to squish his toes in dog-shit who is a better musician than you are.

You claim you know how to stop cancer, one of the biggest killers in the Western World, and smugly talk about strong souls and other garbage, proving you are an entitled little shitburger who had never experienced true suffering. You are a panhandling beggar without the suffering of living on the street.

You claim to be able to see the future, and can't pick out a fucking lottery ticket. I can see the future too. It has you working minimum wage jobs all your life and marrying a fat girl who will cheat on you while you raise her boyfriend's kids and keep rubbing your face on the guitar.

You makes claims of magic that you refuse to back up with any kind of evidence, and like a toddler insisting his imaginary friend is real, you demand we disprove you, despite the fallacy of disproving a negative. You are worse than any hyper-religious tool that condemns everyone else because you don't even have a document hundreds of years old, just bullshit you thought up or works written by great men that you misunderstood.

You claim high intelligence, yet you fail to apply it in the simplest manner. You can follow scientific papers basically broken down for the layman without coming up with some kind of idiotic misinterpretation. So far, given every chance, you have failed to apply this so called "high intelligence" to the most basic tests, and frankly I wonder if your iPod continually runs an MP3 of your Mom saying "Breathe in, breathe out" so that you don't pass out from a lack of oxygen.

Now that you realized a hookah lounge will be hard work, and because you are too fucking stupid and ignorant to follow the advice given in this VERY FUCKING THREAD, you have magically decided that it will happen later, after you become the biggest rockstar in the world in 3 months.

You're a fucking child. Pack your shit. Go home. Move into your old room. Ask your mother to beat you the way she should have your entire life.

You're not an indigo child, Dank, you're just one of thousands of idiots.

But keep on panhandling, keep on rubbing your face on the guitar and not even understanding what mistakes you are making. Keep on making wild claims with no basis in reality.

The rest of us will go on contributing to society and the human race.

PS: Go Die in a Magic Fire.

I'd be lying if I said that I didn't have at least half a broner after reading that beautiful poetry.

[repentance]

I'd be lying if I said that I didn't have at least half a broner after reading that beautiful poetry.

Perhaps dank can set it to music.  It moved my soul.

[LoupGaroux]

Ant- you are up to a full evening of drinks on me... that was moving.

And seriously? Hendrix was a guitar god only because he was one of the first to seriously fuck with distortion, act socially unacceptably by lighting guitars on fire and praying to the demon god of burning music, and do a lot of wicked good pharmaceuticals while screwing white groupie bitches. It was edgy and cool. The Rolling Stones channeled soul better, the Beach Boys harmonized better, Paul Revere and the Fucking Raiders toured bigger and better, and David Cassidy sold more records.

Everything is relative, except the depth of ignorance in someone who is unwilling to open his eyes, ears, mind and soul to learn. That, as is so amply demonstrated here, is absolute.

[dank]

Monster, why do you spend so much time/energy on me?  I rarely even read your whole posts.

[LoupGaroux]

Some DI's are just wired that way, and no matter how hard you Private Pyle, he still wants to make something out of you.

[heatstroke]

Monster, why do you spend so much time/energy on me?  I rarely even read your whole posts.

And what a shock: your posts in your hookah bar, rockstar, and bank-as-personal-ATM threads are a running joke on two different forums, despite being full of sound advice from several other posters with decades of experience.  Ant's posts alone could be the first 6 chapters of "How To Start a Hookah Bar," and you completely ignore it out of this misplaced sense of smug self-importance.

[dank]

And what a shock: dank doesn't care what people on the internet, or other people in general, think.

[repentance]

And what a shock: dank doesn't care what people on the internet, or other people in general, think.

Good thing you're not trying to raise money from people on the internet then or from other people in general.  

And don't talk about yourself in the third person.  It makes you sound like a pretentious twat.

[heatstroke]

And look how far 'not listening to sound advice' has gotten you.  You're a laughingstock, a meme for shitty decisionmaking and half-baked business plans.

[capn noe]

I still think 'dank' is not an 18 year old guitar player, but a long term con by someone else. The dopey logic we see here is an intellectual form of misdirection, whoever is on the other side doesn't believe any of this. Contradiction and hypocritical beliefs are the hallmark of sock puppets, and we have someone running a 'bank' demanding lenders not be greedy. The recordings posted are so bad that they HAVE to be made up, everything from 'i know the cure for cancer' all the way to the car loan.... it all hints that dank is not in any way who he says he is.

I said it before, I'll say it again.

Farce.

Has anyone contacted the 2 members who supposedly saw an ID? I'm gonna bet not a single one of them met him face to face.

[Monster-Ant]

I'm starting to believe you, Capn Joe.

Not even the most inbred hammerhead I've ever seen stumble his way, blinking in the light like a newborn giraffe, has had better common sense and more intellect than Dank displays.

There is no way he's an actual human being who believes all he professes to belief, or the top of his head could cave in since mere bone cannot handle that kind of vacuum that would have be present.

Nice job trolling, Senor Dank, as I now believe that you are really a 14 year old laughing at all of us.

Because no human would produce sounds like that with a guitar and think it to be music.

No worries, though, eventually you'll discover the magical mystery of women and forget all about this forum and trolling in general.

Don't worry about using a condom though, your sperm are probably dumber than you, which means they'll end up in your bladder instead of in her, if they don't somehow manage to end up all over your back.

[repentance]

I still think 'dank' is not an 18 year old guitar player, but a long term con by someone else.

I'm more and more inclined to believe the same.  I'll take it a step further and say that I think "dank" is posting as more than one user in this thread.

Seeing scanned ID honestly wouldn't count for much as it's so easy to fake.

[capn noe]

No worries, though, eventually you'll discover the magical mystery of women and forget all about this forum and trolling in general.

I wouldn't be so sure, if a troll like this can bring in even beer money it could be kept up indefinitely. If it can pay rent....

Most of the funds in dankbank are by the anonymous depositor with 100BTC invested. I believe now that this is not a real investment, but part of the con. Anyone know who this is to confirm?

Oh, I also now think that the early pay-outs are actually impatience at how long it is taking to get through the 'trust building' part of the con. Whoever is behind the keyboard is very impatient.

[fgervais]

Actually, although it would be much better for my outlook on humanity, I have to call you guys back to reality, can't be a troll unless the troll itself is severely mentally challenged.

I'm still sifting through the muck to try to get a proper portrait of his "I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today" padyay loans slash ponzy, but summary outlook puts the cost behind this at several thousand dollars. Even taking into account that some of those loans might be sock-puppets, he still borrowed from established lenders, which has to cost something.

Just the shenanigans with nckrazze cost him 15.54 BTC, around 100$, and that was just the one loan. Puuurty sure nckrazze isn't a sock puppet.

So why outlay all that cash? Well, perhaps this thread was supposed to be his swan song, where he might have been trying to con people for a bit under a 100k$.

But then, and I say this with the taste of cat poo in my mouth, you have to take into account one of the rare moments of truthiness of dank: he's been sabotaging the fuck out of himself with the last 25 pages. No way in hell anyone is going to give him any serious money at this point.

So that would mean that as a troll or scammer, he would need to be severely mentally challenged.

Occam's razor tells me he is just a really a bad person with even worst world views. It's an unfortunate plentiful commodity of my generation.


EDIT:



Oh please, if it happens at least we'll be released from the insanity!

[dank]

Y'all are gonna sound pretty stupid in a few months.  Haters gonna hate, I guess.

[smracer]

Dank,

One final question before I go. 

Do you believe in ghosts?

[dank]

Sure, ghosts, spirits whatever you want to call them.  I've seen a shadow person when I was pretty young.  Was as big as the doorway.

[Rarity]

Sure, ghosts, spirits whatever you want to call them.  I've seen a shadow person when I was pretty young.  Was as big as the doorway.

Dank, do you ever feel suspicious around friends, family, or teachers without good reason?  Do you ever experience odd sensations like being confused if a dream is real, wondering if people can read your mind, finding connections between unrelated events, or frequent experiences of deja vu or unreality?  Do sounds seem louder than they should sometimes, do you find that everyday noises sound like words with hidden special meaning?  Do the shadow people visit you often?  Do you ever find yourself using odd combinations of words? Do you believe in UFOs, astral projection, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trance mediums, the Loch Ness monster, and the theory of Atlantis?