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August 03, 2015, 12:11:53 AM |
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It was early spring, 1985. A friend (father figure of the same age as my real dad named Patree, RIP) convinced me to leave Jackson, TN, and move to Nashville to help him with his painting company, I only being an apprentice painter (no partnership, etc.). I just turned 25.
My first day in Nashville, we had lunch at Shoney's located at the corner or Nolensville Rd and Old Hickory Blvd. You locals know the area. The waitress was a Dago (she allowed me to call her that, she calling me [her favorite] Lugan) named Nanette, no longer with us due to being brutally murdered (I latered learnt of this fact years later shortly after the event while living in Houston).
With lunch rush basically over, Patree decided to have a little fun you'll soon learn at my expense.
He asked me if I recall my high school chemistry, whereupon I informed him I've aced it, albeit I wasn't fond of the subject, but did well because of the math being simple for me. He proceeded to empty a grape jelly cup (you know the type used at most restaurants sitting on the table) onto a napkin. Then he sprinkled salt on the jelly. He then went into a spew on how there's goin' be a chemical reaction due to the make of the salt and citrus acid in the grape jelly. I should be able to see puffs of smoke fairly quickly as the pile heats up. He waves his hand over the mess periodically, then informs me that it's getting hot. He then tells me to put my hand over the jelly to feel the heat. So I did. You know what happened next! He slams my hand into the pile, and then asked me if it was hot.
We had a good laugh, then I excused myself to go to the bathroom to wash my sticky hands. When I returned, Patree told me to show Nanatte next. So I did. I couldn't wait to slam my new friend's hand into a pile of jelly and salt. So there I was waving my hand over the pile informing Nanatte that it's just about hot enough when all of a sudden she slams my hand into the sticky substance. We all had a good laugh, whereupon once again I excused myself back to the bathroom to wash my hands.
When I returned, Patree is smiling ear-to-ear, then informs me that the other waitress, Lorie, hadn't seen the trick yet, and that I should try it on her. So, once again, another pile of jelly and salt was created, me being very careful to not have my hand slammed into the pile by Patree, Lorie and anybody else nearby. So, I'm waving my hand carefully over the mix informing Lorie that it's getting hot and she should now try to feel the heat herself. She then put her hand over the pile, whereupon I went for the slam... Guess what happened. I was set up once again, for she was trained to move her hand away at the the last second and once again I was back in a pile of grape jelly and salt.
Back to the bathroom to wash up, then returned to the table. Patree is now really grinning ear-to-ear and he said, "Boy, you ain't right!" We've had a great friendship till his death years later after suffering for years with multiple sclerosis. He's buried at Green Acres in Crossville, TN.
Hope you enjoyed.
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