The Everything Bearish Thread

[ahpku]

UK E-tailer Puts Up £15,000 Bounty to Nab Bitcoin Crooks
                       
Rat out your thieving Bitcoin buddies and earn £15,000! That's £15,000 in legal, real money you won't even need to launder. Or sell for real money to gullible rubes because you don't even care who you hurt because no scruples whatsoever.

UK E-tailer Aria put a price on the heads of [the typically petty -ed] bitcoin blackmailers, and it's £15,000: more real, honest money than an average bitcoiner is likely to ever see in your life.
Bitcoin blackmailers [who likely post on bitcointalk all the time, so you probably know them well, you fink -ed] demanded 16.66 Bitcoins to not do what comes as naturally to Bitcoiners as buying overpriced drugs, guns and CP: demanding mony bitcoin to stop making a nuisance of themselves and go away already!

Fun[ny] Fact: Aria PC accepts Bitcoin payments.

[1714471971]

1714471971

[ahpku]

Adam Draper: Investors Don't Want to Hear the Word Bitcoin

"I say bitcoin, and they think that's the worst thing ever."

No... Really?

[ahpku]

5 [Depressing] Facts from the Q3 2015 State of Bitcoin Report
CoinDesk's Grace Caffyn contributes her morbid take on Coinalytics' soul-crushing Bitcoin study.
For those with no more tears left to shed, the TL;DR:

1. Trading and volatility are back up [stable currencies are for old people -ed] 2. But investment is down "I say bitcoin, and they think that's the worst thing ever."--Adam Draper     VC investment in bitcoin companies dropped 41% from $145m to $85m – the lowest total of the last four quarters. 3. Despite the hype, no $ for emerging markets [Bitcoin of limited interest to the poorer half of the world's population, living on less than $2 a day, apparently -ed] 4. Merchant interest slumps, again 5. New York's Bitlicense divided opinion

[toinew]

bitcoin has been a great experiment, but the founder left the development like a coward
Now bitcoin experiment is not moving forward, developers make wars against each other, and bitcoin itself still suffesr from inherent drawback like huge carbon footprint, increasing fees, and the impossibility to scale up for going mainstream.

it's time to move on, bitcoin is just a name after all, there could be a better bitcoin, for exemple a bitcoin 2.0

[ssmc2]

Should re-name this thread "The Everything Trollish Thread"

[ahpku]

FATF: Bitcoin Could Fuel Terrorism Financing
I <3 U, Bitcoin! Is there anything you couldn't do?

CoinDesk contributor Grace Caffyn, who only hours ago left us choking back our tears with her cruel 5 [Depressing] Facts from the Q3 2015 State of Bitcoin Report, now completes her crushing combo by falsely and slanderously lying that our Bitcoin could be used to fund terrorisms!

Why are you doing this to us, Grace? Is it possible you really didn't know that F.I.A.T. credit cards can also be used to fund terrorists? Well they could! Fund terrorists, while potentially exposing our personal infos to all sorts of East-European hackers and invading our sovereignty  sanctity privacy. And charging us huge fees to do it, too! And also not anywhere as secure as bitcoin.
Yeah, just something you conveniently forgot to mention.

Who's paying you to lie, Grace?

[Fakhoury]

Should re-name this thread "The Everything Trollish Thread"

She enjoys stealing her thread titles from my thread, nothing new about her actually.

[ahpku]

@Fakhoury: Go be a faggot elsewhere, ty.

@Fakhoury
Consider returning to your self-moderated thread, no need to shit up this one too.
Or back to peddling stolen MSDN keys, whichever. https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?action=trust;u=357170

[Fakhoury]

@Fakhoury: Go be a faggot elsewhere, ty.

@Fakhoury
Consider returning to your self-moderated thread, no need to shit up this one too.
Or back to peddling stolen MSDN keys, whichever. https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?action=trust;u=357170

No need to be harsh babe, take it easy babe 

[Cconvert2G36]

@Fakhoury: Go be a faggot elsewhere, ty.

@Fakhoury
Consider returning to your self-moderated thread, no need to shit up this one too.
Or back to peddling stolen MSDN keys, whichever. https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?action=trust;u=357170

No need to be harsh babe, take it easy babe 

Just stay in your thread if it bothers you Fakhoury, there are actual risks in bitcoin investment... as you may know. The informed investor will weigh it and decide the legitimacy, relevance, and impact. The intellectual "lalalala, can't hear you", is in poor taste. One can still take the other side of the trade without acting out.

"This is what gets you gay porn!!!!1!!", is also acting out, but that chapter has apparently come to a welcome close.

Honestly, you would/should have to pay money for some of the satiric banter that emanates from ahpku.     

[ahpku]

Bitcoin Groups and Law Enforcement Unite to Form Blockchain Alliance
"And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper."

A group of digital currency companies and organizations are establishing a new public-private forum in a bid to foster communication and education between the government and industry stakeholders.

"And for what? For a little bit of money. There's more to life than a little money, you know. Don'tcha know that? And here you are, and it's a beautiful day. Well. I just don't understand it..."

[talks_cheep]

@Fakhoury: Go be a faggot elsewhere, ty.

@Fakhoury
Consider returning to your self-moderated thread, no need to shit up this one too.
Or back to peddling stolen MSDN keys, whichever. https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?action=trust;u=357170

No need to be harsh babe, take it easy babe  

What a slimeball! No wonder he's the one running the "Everything Bullshit News" thread, it takes a used car saleman to pitch for sleazy coins.

[ahpku]

"Bitcoin" Startup Abra Moves to Launch Mobile Remittance App
Ways this app helps you send and receive BTC:                    Zero.
Number of times Bitcoin is mentioned on Abra landing page: Zero.

Abra: 'The people's way to send and receive cash [not bitcoin -ed.]'
'Additionally, the startup is announcing a new suite of merchant APIs, dubbed Abra Pay, that will enable Abra users to make payments using their mobile devices [without ever having to use, or think about, bitcoin -ed.]

[ahpku]

Famous Software School Tackles Fake Degrees Using the Blockchain
From our Bitcoin, is there anything you can't do? department.

San Francisco's new software engineering school, Holberton, has announced it will tackle fake degrees using bitcoin technology.
In partnership with Bitproof, the notary startup founded by teenager Louison Dumont, Holberton will issue every graduate with certificate that can be verified on bitcoin's blockchain using a Digital Certificate Number (DCN).

"I had this eureka moment when I figured out I could sign a message with a bitcoin address," explains teenager Louison Dumont. "That just floored me, so I landed some VC bucks and figured out how to type 'Joe Schmoe haz Super Computer Scientist certificat from Holberton, the famos top computor colege you probably never heard of but is totally real.'"

Holberton School of Computering is not associated with Betty "ENIAC Girl Gamer" Holberton, or Halliburton Company, an American multinational corporation run by The Lizard People.


Creepy Bitcoin Kidnappers Keep Bullying Canadian, Demand More Coins
More from our Bitcoin, is there anything you can't do? department.
$50,000 actual real money reward offered for capture and conviction of Canadian expat’s kidnappers, as authorities appear no closer to busting the bitcoin bandits.

Eight months have passed since Canadian expat Ryan Piercy, kidnapped by bitcoin fiends past January, was released, but his nightmare is not over. The bitcoin crooks continue to blackmail Piercy and his family with rambling, illiterate demands [shit grammar and incoherence make bitcoiners easy to spot -ed].

“Our intention will be to mame [sic] and disfigure initially. The problem is the devices and components used are not precise. … Acid is a tricky substance to control but combined explosives as a delivery system it is anybodys [sic] guess.”

Top 10 Benefits Bitcoin Provides New Users
Cointelegraph's elevator pitch expert Evander Smart brings you another load of high caliber crap to unload into the unsuspecting unfortunates you've somehow managed to trap in an elevator.
Our cub reporter ahkpu, in an effort to make everything look like a Red Letter Bible, experiments with fun text effects.

1. The world’s easiest bank account to open
That would be Pirateat40's Bitcoin Savings & Trust.

2. Appreciate the appreciation
Critics of Bitcoin are quick to point out that it has lost hundreds of dollars in value since Mt. Gox ...
...and while Bitcoin prices have tumbled over the past two years, it's worth noting that 1BTC is still worth more than nothing, its price 6 years ago.

3. Launch your Business idea without the need for bank approval
Starting a new business can be very hard, financially.
Because banks actually want a coherent business plan, not wanting to lend you money for a business that's sure to fail.  Not so with bitcoiners. They'll even give you money to start a bank of your very own.

4. Quickly gain access to the rest of the digital currencies or altcoins
So you can lose money even faster.

6. Two words: Bitcoin IPOs!
These are starting to become a new bitcoin financing option.
One word: RUN!!!
Bitcoin IPOs have been around forever. 99% failure/fraud rate.

7. Programmable money has its advantages over fiat currencies
Having a truly digital currency means you can do many things a dollar simply can’t do. For example, you can have a family wallet with pre-set spending limits.
Possible with digital currencies? Sure. Possible now, with Bitcoin? No.

8. ‘Smart contracts’ provide many business options
Every day, many people worldwide use a version of the “smart contract” and don’t even know it. ... Nick Szabo coined this concept word back in 1997.
That's why.

8. Crowdfund your business or project even in the most remote area
What if you’re in an impoverished, 3rd-world nation? You don’t live near a metropolitan city. You live 30-50-100 miles from the nearest bank. You don’t own a car. Your local dirt road is flooded out by rain 3-4 days a week.
Then you (and your equally broke neighbor) just whip out your iPhones with unlimited internet, and ...and start a Bitcoin exchange. Or start selling mud from your muddy road, which you can't ship because you just dug up the road, the only avenue of egress from your impoverished hovel. Or something.

9. Don’t like your government or central banking system? Bitcoin makes a financial and political statement
Maybe you or someone you know is the type of person that hates being controlled, financially or otherwise.
Or how about you just grab a Che Guevara T-shirt at Hot Topic & not pay? Simpler and edgier, Wild One!

10. Bitcoin’s speed makes a wire transfer seem like a steam ship
Have you ever tried to take more than US$10k out of a bank?
No. I keep my hookers and blow purchases in the sub-$10k range. For everything else, there's MasterCard.

The Internet started out just like this
Yes, that's 11, and no, no it didn't. Most MLM and ponzi shemes did, but Internet? No.

[ahpku]

It's My Coin And I'll Crime If I Want To!
Head of the morally (and fiscally, now that I think about it) bankrupt and crime-ridden Bitcoin Foundation doesn't want to cooperate with the cops. Surprisingly

"The companies participating in this initiative are not only good companies, but they are also good corporate citizens. For the blockchain to thrive, the industry must work together to correct the misperception of bitcoin as the 'currency of criminals'." - Jason Weinstein, Blockchain Alliance Director “Today's Blockchain Alliance announcement is one of the most sad and discouraging things I've seen in ‪#‎Bitcoin‬ -- an alliance of tech companies with the DHS/ TSA, ICE and the same FBI who seeks Snowden ....all led by the DOJ prosecutor poster child for Fast & Furious? How could anyone think this is a good idea?”  - Bruce Fenton, Director of the Bitcoin Foundation [this one hasn't yet been accused of child molestation, hasn't stolen millions through his Magic: The Gathering website, and still isn't doing Fed time for money laundering. -ed]

[ahpku]

Everything Goes Better With Bitcoin!
"Like laundering millions I stole from your stupid granny and thousands like her," says Bitcoin entrepreneur Stephan Moskwyn, 32.
From our Bitcoin, is there anything you can't do? department.

Bitcoin entrepreneur Stephan Moskwyn, 32, accused of laundering millions of dollars from a cruel hoax that tricked vulnerable victims (including your granny) into sending him their food money, is facing federal charges in South Florida. Sleazebags who worked at the bitcoin criminal's call center phoned potential victims in the U.S. and pretended they were relatives, usually grandchildren, who were experiencing serious problems and needed money sent to them, agents from Homeland Security Investigations wrote in court records. The [real] money was quickly converted into Bitcoin, using complicated transactions involving pre-paid debit cards in the U.S., authorities said. "This scam exploited the kindness and trust of elderly American citizens by convincing them that loved ones were in trouble and needed money … Criminals who engage in these scams must know that they are not safe from prosecution, merely because they operate from foreign countries or use virtual currencies," said U.S. Attorney Wifredo Ferrer.

[ahpku]

Rememeber when

Russian Bear Fed Up With Bitcoin Bullshit

Russia's Ministry of Finance has developed a new version of its proposed law that would seek to both outlaw and apply criminal penalties for activities involving digital currencies, according to a report by Russian news source Interfax.

Citing sources from within the Russian government, Interfax reports that acquiring, selling and distributing cryptocurrencies would be punishable with fines of 300,000 rubles ($4,574) or through up to 360 hours of correctional labor under the new bill.

Should such infractions be committed by an agency or group, the fines for such activities would increase to 500,000 rubles ($7,623).

IMPORTANT UPDATE:

The Russian Ministry of Finance that had previously supported fines of up to 500,000 rubles or a 2-year community service sentence is now pressing ahead for a 4-year prison sentence.

Bitcoin's Stupid, Says Stoner

Weedmap CEO Justin Hartfield doesn't think Bitcoin will help to grow the marijuana industry, contrary to what many in the Bitcoin space claim. “Here’s the thing - say you sell a bunch of weed, and your customers pay you in Bitcoin,” Hartfield told CCN. "How the heck are you gonna cash out millions of digital coins into tens of millions of United States Dollars?"

Hell if I know, Justin, hell if I know.

[Tzupy]

Russia may soon ban bitcoin really hard:
https://www.cryptocoinsnews.com/russian-finance-ministry-proposes-a-4-yr-prison-sentence-for-bitcoin-users/

[Fakhoury]

[ahpku]

[rising tide of bitcoin money laundering.gif]

And that's exactly why Russia's Ministry of Finance has drafted the proposal for a 4-year prison sentence for Bitcoin criminals.
About time, if you ask me