How is one suppose to help you ? Like through skype or do the work for you ? I'am sure this shady thread won't be enough for the explanation.I can give you a few suggestions though:
Download the ebook free :http://dl.upforfree.com/ebooks/Excel-Formulas-and-Functions-Fo-%20Dummies-3rd-Edition-ebooksfeed.com.pdf
This ebook has basically everything you need,just do the hard work of turning around the pages
Visit the youtube video and channel :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UI0gnZZHF1k He explains all the basics .Not exactly the stuff you wanted but you will get an idea .
Thank me later : )