2 year old - Cries himself to sleep every other night

[fgervais]

http://youtu.be/CseO1XRYs9I?t=48s

[2weiX]

I have hree kids: 9, 6, 2 years old.

I can only repeat:

NO SUGAR AFTER 5pm
sugar hypes them up. sugar is pure energy. it prevents them from calming down.

GET THOSE EARS CHECKED
just because listening to mom or dad can be calming.

ROUTINES
develop routines that indicate a while before they go to bed that "it's time."
in this house:
- 6pm dinner
- 7pm, all kids are changed and have their toothbrushes in hand
- 15min of taped TV with their fave show (pocoyo, pingu, what have you)
- 8pm, all kids are in bed
- as story is read to the kids
- 9pm, lights out.
of course, this might be off as much as half an hour or an hour, even, if exciting stuff happens or we've been away for a day trip or something.

but: THE ROUTINE IS ALWAYS THERE. and it helps.


of course, there are times when the little one (mine just turned two) needs more attention.
last couple of weeks, he required extensive cuddeling and soothing before sleep.
it will go away, but please, please, PLEEASE do not make him suffer for it, it's not his fault AT ALL.

Promise me?

[fergalish]

I used to sit beside or lie on the toddlers' bed and make up a story. Once I made up a really nice story about a little bird that lost a feather and couldn't fly any more, until a friendly spider spun a giant web and caught the feather in it! They *LOVED* to hear made-up stories. It was the one sure method of getting them to calm down and listen. Sometimes they'd even make up their own stories.

After the little story I would chat to the kids about this or that, or sing a little song. Then, sooner or later, I would interrupt with some reason to leave like, oh, I need to pee (kids understand that), I need to wash the dishes, I need to do a make a phone-call, something, anything, but *ALWAYS* with "wait there, I'll be back in 5 minutes".  9 times out of 10 they'll be asleep when you get back. If not, rinse & repeat. Eventually you won't have to go back no more.

Apart from that, the earlier message about developing a routine is vital.

Instead of having the young ones in your bed, much preferable is for you or your SO to squeeze into bed beside them - obviously it's better if you just sit there, but I'm considering the hypothesis that you're dead tired and need to sleep. You'll get uncomfortable soon, wake up, and can then go to your own bed. That way, they will become used to sleeping in their own bed.

Our bedtime ritual is now pure joy. We bring 'em upstairs, they climb into bed (the youngest even unzips the door on his own cot and voluntarily climbs in!), a short song or story, kisses all around, and awaaaaayyyyyyyy!

[myrkul]

(the youngest even unzips the door on his own cot and voluntarily climbs in!)

No image I can come up with in my mind to explain this makes sense.

[fergalish]

(the youngest even unzips the door on his own cot and voluntarily climbs in!)

No image I can come up with in my mind to explain this makes sense.

Umm, he sleeps in one of those travel cots (we're tight for space, but fortunately it's decent enough).  So it's just 6 inches off the floor.  The walls are fabric stretched over a light aluminium frame and, on one end, there's a door that zips up.  A bit like a tent, I suppose, only being a cot there's no roof, and being a cot for small people (i.e. < 5 years), it would be a pretty small door for a real tent -- unless, I guess, if it was a tent for similarly small people 

Well, he walks proudly up, unzips the door, and climbs into bed. I need only zip the door closed again, put the covers over him, and voilà, he's done, all ready for sleepies. Admittedly, the first time he did this I was speechless. Didn't even know he knew how to operate zips. But, not wanting to lose the initiative, I took it in my stride and made him opening his own cot-door a part of the night-time routine 

[farlack]

Mine turned 2 in September.

Tell him, night night, put him in the bed, close the door, ignore his cries.
He will fall asleep soon enough ...

the mother suffers from asthma and so do the kids, closing doors and ignoring my kids can lead to them suffocating (sudden death syndrome)

Uh, what is sudden death syndrome? SIDS? Your son is 2 and well beyond SIDS.
I think you're being paranoid, your son is 2 years old, hes not going to suffocate by himself. Put a baby monitor, or a night vision camera in the room. I don't see how leaving the door open is going to help suffocation seeing as if you're suffocating you don't make noise anyway. Either with, or without the door open your son with suffocate if the unfortunate scenario were to happen.

Unless that is.. If his room was air tight, and you sucked out all the air.

[myrkul]

(the youngest even unzips the door on his own cot and voluntarily climbs in!)

No image I can come up with in my mind to explain this makes sense.

Umm, he sleeps in one of those travel cots (we're tight for space, but fortunately it's decent enough). 

Dude, don't feel bad about that, he probably loves it. I'd have killed for something like that when I was a little guy. In fact, I remember one summer I set up a tent in my room and just slept in there the whole year. It was excellent. Nothing beats a little space that is exclusively yours.

[hamdi]

just spend enough time with him and it will settle.

get your eyes of stupid bitcoin charts
abdicate some money and spend time with him

it's the most important time where he learns most. show him you are caring, he will be more caring and a better guy later.

[Anon136]

with my little girl i just tell her its bed time, carry her to bed, turn the light off and lay down with her until she falls asleep. She cries every night sometimes for only a minute some times as long as a half hour but i simply dont acknowledge it in any way. If she wants to cuddle than i cuddle if she wants to be alone than i let her be alone on the other side of the bed. The key is to give them as much freedom as you possibly can. Its really quite easy to train kids, respond to the things you want to reinforce ignore the things you dont want to reinforce, understand their needs and respond to those needs.

my best guess from your story is that he doesn't like to be alone. Children have different needs from adults, even though belief in monsters isnt rational we still have to respond to that need for security. Also dont listen to people who say you have to deny fulfillment of the children needs because they need to be "weened" or "they have to grow up eventually" as an analogy, if you respond to his need to be protected against monsters this isnt going to make it more likely for him to grow up with a belief in monsters.

[adamstgBit]

well tonight wasn't so bad 

thanks for all the gr8 advice

[2weiX]

happy to hear that.

also: i think it's great that you turned to your peer group for advice.

[Fcx35x10]

lol much experience can be learned through forums   

[max in montreal]

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=beat

[2weiX]

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=beat

just as this was about to become the nicest these on /btctalk/, along comes this.

i hope to God you're not serious.

[Kluge]

Just be glad he keeps his diaper on while sleeping. Mine refused until ~1.25 y/o, and if she woke up, pooped, and we didn't have a snapped-together onesie on, she'd smear shit all over her crib. It was the most horrible thing I've ever had to walk into. The first few times, I had to wake up my wife just to stand there with me while I cleaned it as a kind of spiritual support (actually.... to be honest - the first time that happened, I was so horrified, my wife did most of the work)

Anyhoo, she had sleep problems, too, but we were lucky enough to have a noise-making stuffed lamb work for her. Still cries, but usually only for a few minutes instead of 20-40m.

And really, just to reiterate for everyone young -- don't have kids. My God, don't do it! If you love watching others' kids for a few hours, it's not anything like having one of your own, every hour of every day, every year. It's not like a pet, and they aren't similar to child-like adults. They don't quietly walk around and act independently, nor are they little Socrates, calmly asking questions which lead you to think about the world differently. After having an ankle-biter of my own, what I most look forward to in life is the day she's old enough to go to school.

If you want kids, consider this happening three times a day starting about the day she walks reliably (~9 months), and still not ending at her 19th month age:

*extremely shrill* "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE!!! WAAAAAHHHH!!"
"Lunch's almost ready. We're having fried potatoes and roasted chicken with rosemary. Do you like how rosemary tastes?"
*standing in front of you while you cook* "More? More? ..... WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!! WAAAAAAAHH!!"
"It's still cooking. It'll be ready in about 5 minutes."
"MORE! MORE! MORE!!!! WAAAAAAAAAHHH!!"
"..."
"MORE! MORE!" *crying, pulling on legs*

5 minutes more of that....
"Okay. The food's all cooked now, but it's still too hot for you to eat."
"Hot."
"Yep."
"Hot. ... ..... More?"
"Not yet, it's still too hot."
*short pause, confused?* "WAAAAAHHHHH! MORE! MORE?!! MORE!!!!! MORE!!! WAAAAAHHH!!"
"It's still too hot."
"More more more more more more.... MORE!!" *tugging on leg, making you dodge her while you dare try to move*
*agitated* "Listen - it's not done yet, and if you cry anymore, I'll eat it myself."
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR *breaks down into generic crying* MORE MORE more.... *defeated crying*"
...
...
...
"Alright. Food's ready, now."
"More!"

She takes the plate, puts it on the floor, and begins eating. She'll eat a few potato cubes, and give one to a cat, which's cute as Hell. If the cat goes near the chicken, she smacks the cat away. She finishes all the meat scraped from a chicken leg and thigh, as well as a half-cup of fried potato cubes.

"MORE!"
"No more, you're full. Go see what mommy's doing in the living room. I think she has the fuzzy red monkey you like."
"MORE! MORE! *crying again* MORE! MORE! MORE!"
"Go see mommy! She's in the living room."
Then she wanders out to the living room, still crying, and starts crying at wife. Wife picks daughter up, gives her a hug. Daughter's still crying, squirms to get out. When she's let down, she keeps crying. "More?"


She has such a large vocabulary, but when she wants food (and she almost ALWAYS wants food. She'll vomit and still demand more food.), she refuses to do anything useful and her vocabulary becomes very limited ("-anana," "cack" [cracker], "food," "milk," and, of course, "more"). Not sure when patience develops in children.... 10 years?

[Kluge]

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=beat

just as this was about to become the nicest these on /btctalk/, along comes this.

i hope to God you're not serious.

Maddox has some of the best parenting advice on the Internet, as a matter of fact. One of his educational books on parenting was recently published and has high reviews. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1439182868/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=bpitu-20&linkCode=as2&camp=217145&creative=399373&creativeASIN=1439182868

[runlinux]

Just be glad he keeps his diaper on while sleeping. Mine refused until ~1.25 y/o, and if she woke up, pooped, and we didn't have a snapped-together onesie on, she'd smear shit all over her crib. It was the most horrible thing I've ever had to walk into. The first few times, I had to wake up my wife just to stand there with me while I cleaned it as a kind of spiritual support (actually.... to be honest - the first time that happened, I was so horrified, my wife did most of the work)

Anyhoo, she had sleep problems, too, but we were lucky enough to have a noise-making stuffed lamb work for her. Still cries, but usually only for a few minutes instead of 20-40m.

And really, just to reiterate for everyone young -- don't have kids. My God, don't do it! If you love watching others' kids for a few hours, it's not anything like having one of your own, every hour of every day, every year. It's not like a pet, and they aren't similar to child-like adults. They don't quietly walk around and act independently, nor are they little Socrates, calmly asking questions which lead you to think about the world differently. After having an ankle-biter of my own, what I most look forward to in life is the day she's old enough to go to school.

If you want kids, consider this happening three times a day starting about the day she walks reliably (~9 months), and still not ending at her 19th month age:

*extremely shrill* "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE!!! WAAAAAHHHH!!"
"Lunch's almost ready. We're having fried potatoes and roasted chicken with rosemary. Do you like how rosemary tastes?"
*standing in front of you while you cook* "More? More? ..... WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!! WAAAAAAAHH!!"
"It's still cooking. It'll be ready in about 5 minutes."
"MORE! MORE! MORE!!!! WAAAAAAAAAHHH!!"
"..."
"MORE! MORE!" *crying, pulling on legs*

5 minutes more of that....
"Okay. The food's all cooked now, but it's still too hot for you to eat."
"Hot."
"Yep."
"Hot. ... ..... More?"
"Not yet, it's still too hot."
*short pause, confused?* "WAAAAAHHHHH! MORE! MORE?!! MORE!!!!! MORE!!! WAAAAAHHH!!"
"It's still too hot."
"More more more more more more.... MORE!!" *tugging on leg, making you dodge her while you dare try to move*
*agitated* "Listen - it's not done yet, and if you cry anymore, I'll eat it myself."
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR *breaks down into generic crying* MORE MORE more.... *defeated crying*"
...
...
...
"Alright. Food's ready, now."
"More!"

She takes the plate, puts it on the floor, and begins eating. She'll eat a few potato cubes, and give one to a cat, which's cute as Hell. If the cat goes near the chicken, she smacks the cat away. She finishes all the meat scraped from a chicken leg and thigh, as well as a half-cup of fried potato cubes.

"MORE!"
"No more, you're full. Go see what mommy's doing in the living room. I think she has the fuzzy red monkey you like."
"MORE! MORE! *crying again* MORE! MORE! MORE!"
"Go see mommy! She's in the living room."
Then she wanders out to the living room, still crying, and starts crying at wife. Wife picks daughter up, gives her a hug. Daughter's still crying, squirms to get out. When she's let down, she keeps crying. "More?"


She has such a large vocabulary, but when she wants food (and she almost ALWAYS wants food. She'll vomit and still demand more food.), she refuses to do anything useful and her vocabulary becomes very limited ("-anana," "cack" [cracker], "food," "milk," and, of course, "more"). Not sure when patience develops in children.... 10 years?

How damn right you are... It sucks...

[myrkul]

My son took off his diaper the other day and decided to pee on the cat.. for some reason the dumb cat sat there and got pee'd on

Pretty sure sign that:
1) your cat may be into "water-sports"
2) your son is probably ready to be potty-trained.

He certainly has enough control. If he can hit the cat, he can hit the bowl.

[max in montreal]

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=beat

just as this was about to become the nicest these on /btctalk/, along comes this.

i hope to God you're not serious.

some people just do not get sarcasm...

[Nolo]

My son took off his diaper the other day and decided to pee on the cat.. for some reason the dumb cat sat there and got pee'd on

My first thought was, I hope for the sake of your son, your cat is declawed