2 year old - Cries himself to sleep every other night

[myrkul]

All the previous advice is great. An old home remedy is a small sugar treat at bedtime. We called it sugar coma.

where i'm from we call that a cavity.

Use it before bed.

[payb.tc]

All the previous advice is great. An old home remedy is a small sugar treat at bedtime. We called it sugar coma.

where i'm from we call that a cavity.

Use it before bed.

before or after sugar treat?

[myrkul]

All the previous advice is great. An old home remedy is a small sugar treat at bedtime. We called it sugar coma.

where i'm from we call that a cavity.

Use it before bed.

before or after sugar treat?

Wanna take a guess?

[jgarzik]

Random advice.  We have a 2.5-year old.

1) Create a buffer of reduced distractions for an hour or so before bedtime.  That means no TV or other stimulating excitement before bedtime.  You must set the atmosphere.  Quiet time precedes bedtime.

2) I actually avoid sugar, close to naptime/bedtime.  I consider it crack cocaine.  No sugar within 2 hours before bed.

3) That sippy cup should contain milk or water, not juice or soda.

4) Create a familiar routine that slowly, inexorably, heads to bed.  Do the same thing, in the exact same order, every single night.  Bath, jammies, bottle, toothbursh, get into bed, songs/stories.

It may feel like you're being a military drill sergeant at first, but toddlers find comfort in familiar routine.

5) Staged crying responses.  If the fuss starts immediately after you leave the room -- or even before you leave the room.  Give it 30 seconds, then return, comfort and love, explain the routine in simple terms, leave.  If the fuss continues, wait 60 seconds, return, comfort and love, leave.  If the fuss continues, wait 2 minutes, etc.

The basic points you are trying to communicate is (a) mother and father are still there, but (b) you aren't going to give up on putting him to bed.

And sometimes it's just plain hard work.  For a while, we wound up camping out in the room for an hour or more each night, as our daughter got used to the new routine.  We would be in the room, during this time, but would not respond to efforts at play or interaction... being as boring as possible, breathing deeply with our eyes closed, pretending to sleep, ourselves.

[payb.tc]

5) Staged crying responses.  If the fuss starts immediately after you leave the room -- or even before you leave the room.  Give it 30 seconds, then return, comfort and love, explain the routine in simple terms, leave.  If the fuss continues, wait 60 seconds, return, comfort and love, leave.  If the fuss continues, wait 2 minutes, etc.

this is good. also in doing this, gradually reduce the amount of verbal communication each time. eg. first time you return talk and explain blah blah blah time for bed, etc. next time it's just 'blah' and eventually it's just silence and only motions to put them to bed.

[Lethn]

Have you thought about asking him why he doesn't want to go to bed?

he's not really talking yet, possible hearing problem... going to get that checked soon.
But i know why he doesn't want to go to sleep
he wants to play, watch tv and run around.

Yep let him do it and feel the consequences of his overnight binge, unless he's completely stupid and it doesn't seem like he is to me he'll realise why humans need sleep, children are like a blank slate a lot of the time, but if you let them learn on their own they'll learn stuff faster than if you try and beat it into them without any reasoning oh yeah and myrkul's right, get him to brush his teeth really early, show him google if he doesn't believe you when you say it hurts like hell if you don't.

[TheButterZone]

"Terrible twos"

[AndrewBUD]

Yeah my little guy is about 2 and a half years old now.. Lately he has  been doing the same thing.. Not wanting to go to bed.



Just let him scream... he'll get tired and go to bed.. worse case I bring him to bed with me.... Last night we both passed out and he was still running around.


It was pretty cute every time he would get close to me or my wife he would start being really quiet and start making the sshhhh sound

[AndrewBUD]

Have you thought about asking him why he doesn't want to go to bed?

he's not really talking yet, possible hearing problem... going to get that checked soon.
But i know why he doesn't want to go to sleep
he wants to play, watch tv and run around.

My little guy is starting to say a couple words at once... bed time, My truck, mommy and daddy, car ride, bike ride. fire truck and plenty more. MINE


Make sure you read to him on a regular basis. Couple times a day. Start with little books with tiny sentences.


Is he not in a crib anymore?

[Phinnaeus Gage]

I see the problem! Derek has only those big colored plastic toys to play with, while daddy has a shining mining rig. I suggest buying him a toy reflow oven and when he starts crying tell him daddy needs some new parts FAB.

[SgtSpike]

Random advice.  We have a 2.5-year old.

1) Create a buffer of reduced distractions for an hour or so before bedtime.  That means no TV or other stimulating excitement before bedtime.  You must set the atmosphere.  Quiet time precedes bedtime.

2) I actually avoid sugar, close to naptime/bedtime.  I consider it crack cocaine.  No sugar within 2 hours before bed.

3) That sippy cup should contain milk or water, not juice or soda.

4) Create a familiar routine that slowly, inexorably, heads to bed.  Do the same thing, in the exact same order, every single night.  Bath, jammies, bottle, toothbursh, get into bed, songs/stories.

It may feel like you're being a military drill sergeant at first, but toddlers find comfort in familiar routine.

5) Staged crying responses.  If the fuss starts immediately after you leave the room -- or even before you leave the room.  Give it 30 seconds, then return, comfort and love, explain the routine in simple terms, leave.  If the fuss continues, wait 60 seconds, return, comfort and love, leave.  If the fuss continues, wait 2 minutes, etc.

The basic points you are trying to communicate is (a) mother and father are still there, but (b) you aren't going to give up on putting him to bed.

And sometimes it's just plain hard work.  For a while, we wound up camping out in the room for an hour or more each night, as our daughter got used to the new routine.  We would be in the room, during this time, but would not respond to efforts at play or interaction... being as boring as possible, breathing deeply with our eyes closed, pretending to sleep, ourselves.

This is very good advice.  The routine is especially important.  I have a 2 year old and 2.5 year old... now, sometimes they will complain and cry when we say it is time to go to bed, or during the routine (because they know bedtime is coming), but they don't usually cry when they are in bed anymore.  If my 2 year old daughter cries when we say goodnight and leave the room, then one of us will go in and reassure her that it is time to sleep... I usually make her agree that it is night-night time, and then she's fine.  I suppose that wouldn't work well with a toddler who isn't talking yet though, unless he at least acknowledges your questions with a head-nod or something.

[AndrewBUD]

Making sure your little guy is really active during the day helps too..


possibly cut afternoon naps down a bit.

[Vladimir]

yep, pro advice from jgarzik. Nothing to add really.

[vite]

Had the same issue with the eldest, now 4, and still ocasionally throws a tarntrum here and there. I love drinking herbal tea and there is a relaxing tea from manzanilla leaves.

I made the tea let it cool, then mixed the milk formula right into the tea. It would relax him and then he would on his own ask to be taken to bed to sleep.

Then I started reducing the amount of tea to water until I completely removed it.

Has worked very well for both kids. Night lamps help and an open door policy (easy access to mama and papa) if they get scared at night.

Sitting with them in their room, either singing or just letting them blabber away and making them think you are paying attention to them helps also.

Initially you will have to put time towards that, and just transition until the bedroom is sleep time.

[farlack]

Mine turned 2 in September.

Tell him, night night, put him in the bed, close the door, ignore his cries.
He will fall asleep soon enough

You still bottle feeding, pacifier? I got rid of both around 10-12 months ago.

[vite]

Mine turned 2 in September.

Tell him, night night, put him in the bed, close the door, ignore his cries.
He will fall asleep soon enough ...

the mother suffers from asthma and so do the kids, closing doors and ignoring my kids can lead to them suffocating (sudden death syndrome)

[SgtSpike]

Sitting with them in their room, either singing or just letting them blabber away and making them think you are paying attention to them helps also.

Initially you will have to put time towards that, and just transition until the bedroom is sleep time.

Forgot about this step!  This was key to the transition out of our room into her room.  My daughter slept in our bedroom until she was just over 1 year old... but getting her to sleep in her own room was a challenge.  She didn't like not having us right there with us.  At first, we tried the "just ignore and let her cry herself to sleep" approach, which would eventually work, but she hated it (obviously), and it made us feel awful too.  Then we went with the "stay in the room until she falls asleep" approach, which worked wonderfully.

One of us would stay in the room with both kids, just doing our own thing (I would either be on my laptop or phone), but just having us there while she fell asleep was enough to comfort her into doing that without too much fuss.  At first, she wanted to be held, but I'd just gently remind her that it was time to sleep, and tell her to lay down, and she would.  I'd keep repeating that each time she would stand up in bed.  She eventually got the idea, and stopped even asking to be held, just understood that it was time to sleep, but that I would be in the room with her.

Once we got that down (took several months), we started leaving the room when she was almost asleep, but not quite there, of course, always coming back in for a minute if she asked to reassure her that we weren't just abandoning her to the bed.  Then, we started leaving earlier and earlier, and now, we can just leave the room as soon as we say goodnight.

[myrkul]

This thread is so full of win.

[Kettenmonster]

Nothing special so far. All ... ok most kids do so now and again.
They experience all of a sudden a strange thing: Own personality.
Never had that before and its confusing makes unhappy.

First of all do not take it as an offence.
The little chap doesn't know how to help himself.
That is where you are coming into the equation, help him.

Kids like rituals!
A regular going to bed procedure is the best cure for all ... ok most kids.

[Raoul Duke]

Shit, I just remembered the last time my son did something like this(cry like a looney cause he didn't want to go to bed), the neighbours called the cops saying there was a child being abused on the upper floor...

Moral of the story: Forget about the whole "I'll give you a real reason to cry" thing