Don't let bitcoin overtake your soul

[PublicP2poolNode]

It all started for me back in April of 2014.

The following year my girlfriend and I had broken up for a few months because I had become so obsessed with reading about bitcoin and was being neglectful to her needs.

I had promised her that I wouldn't constantly be on my phone reading all the news related to bitcoin and watching the price fluctuations and on July 16th 2014 I asked her to marry me.

I kept my promises to her for a while. Until April 2015 when my miners that I used for solo mining actually found a block.

It was my first time finding one after over a year of trying and seeing 25 coins in my wallet worth almost $6,000.00 was so exhilarating and I felt like I was on cloud 9

I told my fiance about it and for the first time she was happy i had gotten involved into mining bitcoin.

I made a promise never to touch them until we we ready to retire.

A few days later I purchased 1 bitcoin and rented some hashpower and tried my luck at solo mining again.

Before I had spent even 1/4 of that bitcoin I found another block.

Woo hoo! This is easy I told myself.

Of course I told her about it and again she was very pleased.

This time I promised I would only use five coins to try and solo mine another block.

Well I lost the five.

Then more, then more and more and more until I had lost it all.

I couldn't tell her what I had done, couldn't admit that I had turned into a compulsive gambler and threw it all away.

So what did I decide to do?

I took out a home equity loan and borrowed $30,000.00 so I could purchase about 75 coins at the time.

I just knewI had figured out a system and with that many coins I would be able to get back what I had lost and repay my home equity loan.

So from April 2015 until mid December 2015 I tried every method I could come up with to try and outsmart the system.

At times I would spend an average of 1 bitcoin per day assuming it would take me no longer than 25 days to find a block and if I found one earlier then that then obviously I had come out ahead and I would pick a different address to solo mine to. It had to work, how couldn't it. At other times I would rent enough hashpower that I should have found a block within 12 hours.

Well it was quiet a roller coaster. From April of 2015 until mid December of 2015 I would estimate I found at least ten blocks probably more.

But I never could get back to where i started. I would get to the point where I was about to lose it all then I'd find a block.

Then I'd use that one to try and find more. When I was about to lose it all again, I'd find another one.

This process of losing almost everything and then gaining back a little, rinse wash and repeat continued for 8 months.

It was the most stressful time of my life.

All I could think about was getting back what I had lost so I wouldn't have to tell my fiance what I had done.

She felt neglected because I was always swiping my phone to see my new "best share" and to see how close I was to finding another block and a dark cloud followed me everywhere I went.

My negativity and despair showed on my face and she didn't understand why because I couldn't be honest about what I was doing because I was so ashamed.

Every day she would complain how I was always on my phone and not paying any attention to her, and I wanted so bad to just get back what I had lost and give her the attention she wanted and needed.

Long story short. She left me and I lost it all.

The moral of my story is dont let bitcoin take ahold of you like it did me, relationships are what matter and once you lose them you can't get them back.

She's already moved on and found a man that is giving her the attention she needs and I'm lonely, broken hearted and in more debt than I've ever been in, in my life.

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[Slark]

Op, please don't blame your life problems on bitcoin. Bitcoin is just money, an asset, a tool. You are the one who are in charge of your life.
You did not find the balance between your personal life and your bitcoin obsession and that is your fault. (I know it may sound harsh, but that is the truth)

[27QVUTZj8rgZP1]

In my opinion:
All I can say is: It wasn't Bitcoin's fault.

I am amazed how people try to find a culprit for their own mistakes.

End of opinion.

[Parazyd]

Money makes you go blind. Well, I guess you learned a valuable lesson there...
Not everything is that bad, move on and push your life in a better direction. But if you think Bitcoin ruined your life, you're terribly wrong. You're just blaming something else for your mistakes.

[thejaytiesto]

"Bitcoin, I wish I never knew you.

I destroyed my life and all that I love because of you. "

Wait, are you really blaming Bitcoin for what happened to you? How can you blame computer code? Man, give me a break. Im sorry for your loss, but blaming Bitcoin and not yourself will not make you learn a valuable lesson.

I can read up on Bitcoin all I want and nothing bad has happened to me. Then again, I don't have a gf.

[OmegaStarScream]

I feel sorry man , I really do . However you should take some responsibility on what happened because those was decisions you made and no one forced you to do .
You gambled and you had to know that gambling have consequences and you have to assume now . I can't seem to understand how this is bitcoin as-well since this could happen (and it's happening) to people who use fiat .

[QuestionAuthority]

Don't be so upset about it, things could always be worse.

BTW: Your fiancé didn't leave you because of Bitcoin. She left you because your a schmuck. She already has a pussy she doesn't need another one.

[BruceLee007]

i believe that you are right i spend a lot of time on reading about bitcoins or being on this forum checking the news and i know that its a bad thing to spend too much time on bitcoins but it became a part of my life so i cant really do anything about this

[ATguy]

This often happens when chasing loses gambling with obvious negative expected value. I never realized this could happen from renting Bitcoin hashrate, but obviously it can become a form of gambling.

Although I bought my mining rig, I dont expect the value go back either (unless Bitcoin price skyrockets), so at least I limited my loses this way.

[xuan87]

I feel sorry for the guy that start this thread, but i think the problem lies in each individual,  blaming something is not a right thing

we have our own hobby like collecting action figure or something, bitcoin also the same, so you need to divide your time wisely and please dont blame bitcoin, bitcoin already provide for us food and extra income

[mobnepal]

Bitcoin is just a type of money and we all know money and greed can easily destroy every relation you have. So better to blame yourself being greedy and oversmart, overconfident about your mining power rather than innocent bitcoin.

[tokeweed]

It all started for me back in April of 2014.

The following year my girlfriend and I had broken up for a few months because I had become so obsessed with reading about bitcoin and was being neglectful to her needs.

I had promised her that I wouldn't constantly be on my phone reading all the news related to bitcoin and watching the price fluctuations and on July 16th 2014 I asked her to marry me.

I kept my promises to her for a while. Until April 2015 when my miners that I used for solo mining actually found a block.

It was my first time finding one after over a year of trying and seeing 25 coins in my wallet worth almost $6,000.00 was so exhilarating and I felt like I was on cloud 9

I told my fiance about it and for the first time she was happy i had gotten involved into mining bitcoin.

I made a promise never to touch them until we we ready to retire.

A few days later I purchased 1 bitcoin and rented some hashpower and tried my luck at solo mining again.

Before I had spent even 1/4 of that bitcoin I found another block.

Woo hoo! This is easy I told myself.

Of course I told her about it and again she was very pleased.

This time I promised I would only use five coins to try and solo mine another block.

Well I lost the five.

Then more, then more and more and more until I had lost it all.

I couldn't tell her what I had done, couldn't admit that I had turned into a compulsive gambler and threw it all away.

So what did I decide to do?

I took out a home equity loan and borrowed $30,000.00 so I could purchase about 75 coins at the time.

I just knewI had figured out a system and with that many coins I would be able to get back what I had lost and repay my home equity loan.

So from April 2015 until mid December 2015 I tried every method I could come up with to try and outsmart the system.

At times I would spend an average of 1 bitcoin per day assuming it would take me no longer than 25 days to find a block and if I found one earlier then that then obviously I had come out ahead and I would pick a different address to solo mine to. It had to work, how couldn't it. At other times I would rent enough hashpower that I should have found a block within 12 hours.

Well it was quiet a roller coaster. From April of 2015 until mid December of 2015 I would estimate I found at least ten blocks probably more.

But I never could get back to where i started. I would get to the point where I was about to lose it all then I'd find a block.

Then I'd use that one to try and find more. When I was about to lose it all again, I'd find another one.

This process of losing almost everything and then gaining back a little, rinse wash and repeat continued for 8 months.

It was the most stressful time of my life.

All I could think about was getting back what I had lost so I wouldn't have to tell my fiance what I had done.

She felt neglected because I was always swiping my phone to see my new "best share" and to see how close I was to finding another block and a dark cloud followed me everywhere I went.

My negativity and despair showed on my face and she didn't understand why because I couldn't be honest about what I was doing because I was so ashamed.

Every day she would complain how I was always on my phone and not paying any attention to her, and I wanted so bad to just get back what I had lost and give her the attention she wanted and needed.

Long story short. She left me and I lost it all.

The moral of my story is dont let bitcoin take ahold of you like it did me, relationships are what matter and once you lose them you can't get them back.

She's already moved on and found a man that is giving her the attention she needs and I'm lonely, broken hearted and in more debt than I've ever been in, in my life.

Cliff notes?

[chennan]

Well that was a heart wrenching story OP... but I'm going to agree with everyone on here that you shouldn't be blaming bitcoin one bit.  What you should be blaming is genetics, because more than likely you have tendencies to addiction. Are you now drinking more heavily to "forget" about this whole thing while still frequenting here and reading up on Bitcoin ALL the time? My instincts tell me yes.

Also, it seems like you could just be addicted to the thrill of just "winning" anything... like if you were to go to a gas station and bought some scratchers and won maybe $10, you would put $100 more into scratchers... and then if you would win $100 with that you would put $1,000 into scratchers and then loose it all, which drives you into a deep depression and wishing you have never tried such foolish things in the first place.

I know how this feels, because I'm prone to addiction as well.  I have a better feel for seeing when I'm becoming to involved with something and need to take a break.  Like if I were to go online gambling, I force myself to only allow X amount of coins to be lost, and once that happens, no matter how hard it is, I would get up and leave and try to find something else meaningful to do with my life (IRL).  Go outside OP, find a hobby that requires you to get out of the house, you may feel that it's not worth it at first, but after a couple days of doing that you will probably feel a lot better than you do currently.

[Soros Shorts]

She left you because your a schmuck. She already has a pussy she doesn't need another one.

Technically speaking, one cannot be a schmuck and a pussy at the same time.

Regardless, it is the obsession with wealth that is root of the problem.

[vodaljepa]

It's always easy to blame your problems on someone or something else

[Bitware]

That's not a Bitcoin story. That's the story of a man-child who doesn't know how to manage his emotions/fear, time, finances, nor his relationships.

I never had one single life problem "caused by Bitcoin" and I still have the same woman, but then, I'm not a whiny child who makes poor decisions without thinking and researching the hell out of _insert_issue_here_, and I don't blame inanimate nor virtual objects for my flaws.

Perhaps you should simply grow up. Look for strong male role models who got their shit together to exemplify. Also, seek help for your gambling problem.

Were you by chance raised by a single or divorced mother who's father was kept out of your life?

You sound like a woman btw.

Best of luck, son.

[croato]

Solo mining is sort of gamble, you did know that and you chose to gamble anyway. So blaming Bitcoin for your loses and ruined marriage is like regular gambler would blame dollar for his loses. Get over it mate, stop doing that and you will be fine. Life goes on.

[Farma]

if in my opinion, it is not the fault of bitcoin, but it is the fault of the person who really infatuated with bitcoin so forget everything that is not concerned with bitcoin, so I think do not be too focused on bitcoin, focus also on the real world 

[jonald_fyookball]

OP you were playing a loser's game with renting hash power.
How could you not realize that cloud mining is basically
a scam business model?  And spend $30,000 on it?  I
don't even believe you.

[DannyHamilton]

Cliff notes?

Sure:

• Had girlfriend
• Spent excessive time obsessing about bitcoin, lost girlfriend
• Promised to stop obsessing about bitcoin, girlfriend becomes fiancée
• Failed to understand the mathematics of economic theory and basics of bitcoin mining
• Lied to fiancée about losing money in attempt to gain more bitcoins
• Covered up the lie by lying more and using excessive debt to try and gain more bitcoins
• Obsessively used the same process that caused the debt to try to gain enough bitcoins to get out of the overwhelming debt before fiancée finds out
• Fiancée found out.  No more fiancée. No more bitcoins. No more money.