BLOCKSTREAM Appreciation Thread

[BlindMayorBitcorn]

What the hell did you just say about me, you little bloatcoiner? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in cryptography, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret missions for Blockstream^TM, and I have over 300 confirmed microbits. I am trained in crypto and I’m the top cryptographer at Blockstream^TM. You are nothing to me but just another bloatcoiner. I will wipe the bloat out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this forum, mark my words. You think you can get away with saying that to me over the interwebs? Think again, bloatcoiner. As we speak I am contacting my coder network of coders across various social medias and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the Blockstream^TM. The stream that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re crippled, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can cripple bloat in over seven hundred languages. Not only am I extensively trained in crippling bloat, but I have access to the entire Blockstream^TM arsenal and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable bloat boat off the face of the continent. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “heil” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your bloated tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price. I will stream fury all over you and you will drown in it.

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[keepdoing]

What the hell did you just say about me, you little bloatcoiner? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in cryptography, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret missions for Blockstream^TM, and I have over 300 confirmed microbits. I am trained in crypto and I’m the top cryptographer at Blockstream^TM. You are nothing to me but just another bloatcoiner. I will wipe the bloat out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this forum, mark my words. You think you can get away with saying that to me over the interwebs? Think again, bloatcoiner. As we speak I am contacting my coder network of coders across various social medias and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the Blockstream^TM. The stream that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re crippled, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can cripple bloat in over seven hundred languages. Not only am I extensively trained in crippling bloat, but I have access to the entire Blockstream^TM arsenal and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable bloat boat off the face of the continent. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “heil” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your bloated tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price. I will stream fury all over you and you will drown in it.

LOL  - WOW!  Sorry Mein Fuhrer!  My Bad!   

I am so sorry that I implied you were a control freak, manipulating, petty little monster!  I see now how incredibly wrong I was!

[BlindMayorBitcorn]

What the hell did you just say about me, you little bloatcoiner? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in cryptography, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret missions for Blockstream^TM, and I have over 300 confirmed microbits. I am trained in crypto and I’m the top cryptographer at Blockstream^TM. You are nothing to me but just another bloatcoiner. I will wipe the bloat out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this forum, mark my words. You think you can get away with saying that to me over the interwebs? Think again, bloatcoiner. As we speak I am contacting my coder network of coders across various social medias and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the Blockstream^TM. The stream that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re crippled, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can cripple bloat in over seven hundred languages. Not only am I extensively trained in crippling bloat, but I have access to the entire Blockstream^TM arsenal and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable bloat boat off the face of the continent. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “heil” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your bloated tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price. I will stream fury all over you and you will drown in it.

LOL  - WOW!  Sorry Mein Fuhrer!  My Bad!   

I am so sorry that I implied you were a control freak, manipulating, petty little monster!  I see now how incredibly wrong I was!

The little one doesn't get it. A rare treat.

[BlindMayorBitcorn]

Be advised we are experiencing a higher volume of appreciates than usual. For faster appreciation, please refer to one of our many off-chain solutions. Press "1" for appreciation in English...

[keepdoing]

Be advised we are experiencing a higher volume of appreciates than usual. For faster appreciation, please refer to one of our many off-chain solutions. Press "1" for appreciation in English...

"1"
ALL HEIL BLOCKSTREAM!
The 4th Reich of Fiat!

Gotta love these guys!  So strong and powerful!  Not afraid to use their power for what is best for us.

[keepdoing]

Meh. Divisive debates are so 2015.

"Since wars begin in the minds of men, it is in the minds of men that the defences of peace must be constructed"

Actually, wars begin when an injustice is forced upon others.  Usually disguised with flowery words of peace.

Does the following sound familiar?  

We want this people to be faithful, and you must learn fidelity. We want this people to be obedient, and you must practice obedience. We want this people to be peace-loving but also courageous, and you must therefore be peace-loving and at the same time courageous.
~ Hitler's Speech 14 September 1935;

As Fuehrer of the German people and Chancellor of the Reich, I can thank God at this moment that he has so wonderfully blessed us in our hard struggle for what is our right, and beg Him that we and all other nations may find the right way, so that not only the German people but all Europe may once more be granted the blessing of peace.
~ Hitler's speech before the Reichstag, 6 October 1939.


My fame, if Providence preserves my life, will consist in ... works of peace, which I still intend to create.
~ Hitler's speech in Berlin, 30 January 1942.

Be obedient little sheep.  Trust that your best interests are in their hearts.  They desire only peace for you.

ALL HEIL BLOCKSTREAM!
The 4th Reich of Fiat!

[BlindMayorBitcorn]

Hey, Blockstream. I bought a souped up George Foreman grill off a darknet marketplace. It's shit. Will you arrange a refund for me?

Thank you for letting us know about your recent experiences with Blockstream^TM. Our goal is to provide consistently reliable products and an exemplary level of customer service. Based on the events you describe, we did not meet this goal. Your comments regarding (George Foreman Grill) will be used for coaching and training purposes.

(Gentlemand) I ask that you allow us another opportunity to serve you as we consider it a priviledge to have you aboard.

[keepdoing]

^I guess I was asking for this. Real mature..

Yes, well.... when you start such a biased thread in a time that the subject of said thread is as controversial as is.... then, yes, you did ask for it.

But I will finish this simply, with no more comment.

Blockstream is doing some good work.  They are great contributors.
Blockstream involvement from a governance perspective is a disaster.
Blockstream needs to go back to their cubicle and do what they do best.... Code / Contribute.
Blockstream needs to shut up about what is best for Bitcoin and everyone else who has a vision for Bitcoin.
Blockstream Players need to immediately either implement an intelligent Block Size Increase, Resign their Comitts,

or they will be FORKED.

Period.

PS.... I wish only the best for Lightning Network. <kisses>

[LiteCoinGuy]

they definitely need a better PR manager...

[cjmoles]

Does Blockstream have anything to do with that Vitalik Buterin guy who came up with that platform that everybody is talking about on the interweb?  Forget what it's called but it's supposed be so advanced that it makes all other technologies look antiquated.  Is Blockstream part of that team?  Boy I appreciate that because Bitcoin really needs the help, especially in the area of turing capabilities and smart contracts.

[BlindMayorBitcorn]

Does Blockstream have anything to do with that Vitalik Buterin guy who came up with that platform that everybody is talking about on the interweb?  Forget what it's called but it's supposed be so advanced that it makes all other technologies look antiquated.  Is Blockstream part of that team?  Boy I appreciate that because Bitcoin really needs the help, especially in the area of turing capabilities and smart contracts.

No.

[BlindMayorBitcorn]

they definitely need a better PR manager...

            What's he that wishes so?
                My cousin LiteCoinGuy? No, my fair cousin;
                If we are mark'd to cripple, we are enow
                To do our coin's loss; and if not to cripple,
                The fewer men, the greater share of honour.
                God's will! I pray thee, wish not one megabit more.
              
  

[BlindMayorBitcorn]

We have before us an ordeal of the most grievous kind.

We have before us many, many long months of struggle and of suffering. You ask, what is our policy? I can say: It is to wage war, by forum, Twatter and mailing list, with all our might and with all the strength that the interwebz can give us; to wage war against a monstrous bloat, never surpassed in the dark, lamentable catalogue of crypto. That is our policy. You ask, what is our aim?

I can answer in one word: It is victory, victory at all costs, victory in spite of full blocks, victory, however counter-intuitive and convoluted; for without victory, there is no survival. Let that be realised; no survival for Blockstream^TM, no survival for all that Bitcoin has stood for, no survival for the urge and impulse of the ages, that mankind will move forward towards open systems, open standards, open source.

But I take up my task with buoyancy and hope. I feel sure that our cause will not be suffered to fail among men. At this time I feel entitled to claim the aid of all, and I say, "come then, let us go forward together with our block-chain."

[BlindMayorBitcorn]

Blockstream^TM recognizes that the ability to make an unbiased decision is sometimes affected by other interests (personal or professional) of individuals in the organization.  Such conflict of interest situations are a regular part of organizational and personal life and cannot simply be eliminated.  

The objective of the following policy is to permit Blockstream^TM to manage conflict of interest situations successfully and resolve them fairly.

[BlindMayorBitcorn]

Here's what some of our satisfied customers have to say!

"Blockstream is a great way to make a nice living. I just bought a house in Detroit!"
BtcClaq

"Some chick moved in. She nuts. I mean white girl crazy. Screamin' 'bout shit. Saying she all stress out. Talkin' 'bout her spices. WTF?! Thanks Blockstream!
-Jacob from Denver

"I want a man who will give me a genius baby!"
-Miss Herald, New East South Wales

[Richy_T]

I would like to send out my heartfelt thanks to Blockstream. There's not many people watching out for those of us who receive our blocks on floppy disks. If we went to 2MB blocks, my post office bill could double and floppies are getting hard to find these days too.

[BlindMayorBitcorn]

I would like to send out my heartfelt thanks to Blockstream. There's not many people watching out for those of us who receive our blocks on floppy disks. If we went to 2MB blocks, my post office bill could double and floppies are getting hard to find these days too.

Thanks for your support (Ricky_T)! Please accept this complimentary copy of the Oregon Trail, courtesy of the Minnesota Educational Computing Consortium. Assume the role of a wagon leader guiding his party of settlers from Independence, Missouri, to Oregon's Willamette Valley!

[Trolfi]

I'm appreciative that Blockstream^TM is allowing BTC to run this appreciation thread.

For now.

[keepdoing]

I'm appreciative that Blockstream^TM is allowing BTC to run this appreciation thread.

For now.

HEIL BLOCKSTREAM!
We appreciate that you are thinking for us!  We the masses are unworthy!  Save us from ourselves.  Establish a firm grip of control!

[keepdoing]

I'm appreciative that Blockstream^TM is allowing BTC to run this appreciation thread.

For now.

HEIL BLOCKSTREAM!
We appreciate that you are thinking for us!  We the masses are unworthy!  Save us from ourselves.  Establish a firm grip of control!

PS... yes, yes, thank you for allowing us to continue to praise you!  Not like those filthy maggots at Coinbase... those who dared think for themselves, to dream of independent thought, unchained ideas, alternatives.  Dogs and Scoundrels the lot!   Brrrrr.... the thought that such chaos was so close to being unleashed sends shivers up me spine