Also what do you think of the message? I'm fascinated by the Bitcoin technology so that's why I add words like proof of work, digital signatures(I have to stop myself from writing "Public key cryptography") and the P2P network that shares all the proofs of work called blocks.
Though I suspect these wordings can confuse people, or what do you think?
No offense but frankly, I think it's horrible. First because you focus on the things that you care about, rather than the things they would care about. Second, because taking a grab-bag of concepts and saying "hey, Bitcoin includes this!" really does nothing to show what is good about Bitcoin and how the pieces of the technology fit together to enable it. Third, because if you do focus on the technologies you love you may as well show your passion for it, provoking interest, but you didn't - the message is pretty dry.
I don't know how much effect does the initial message have on eventual adoption. I'm not an expert or anything but in addition to the PR page on the Bitcoin wiki, you may want to consider the following pointers I originally wrote
here:
1. Don't be a spammer. If it's a shop, only contact them if you've made purchases before. If an organization, show that you are actually involved in and care about their cause.
2. Unless they are
very much inclined towards the philosophy of Bitcoin, they won't care how great it is to have an Open Source peer-to-peer deflationary cryptographic currency which is not controlled by any possibly malicious single point of failure and that they will be helping promote a better future. These can be mentioned to provide some perspective of what Bitcoin is, but downplayed. They care about what's in it for
them, how it will help them in their own lives. They want to know that Bitcoin will give them extra business/donations they can convert to fiat currency which is of known use to them. That's not them being selfish, just practical. If they later choose to be more involved that's an added bonus.
3. They will want to know that with Bitcoin, people can send money easily and with no/low transaction fees.
4. Shops may be interested to know there are no chargebacks with Bitcoin.
5. Make it personal. Let them know how you personally would love to pay them with bitcoins.
6. They will be concerned about the work required to receive Bitcoin payments. Let them know that it's easy and offer to help (it helps if yourself you know a thing or two about Bitcoin and its related services).
7. Be polite, of course.
8. Don't overdo it. They will be put off by too much enthusiasm.
