I'll post a quick review here based on his "fixed" article in the OP. Overall, it's not too bad (when factoring in his low prices). If you're going for something really important (entrance essay, extremely important academic essay, book you plan to publish, etc.), I'd refrain. Things like this can be killer:
"...suggesting that femaleness is captivating"
That's so improper, it's painful to read. The correct word usage here is "femininity." There were countless other issues as well, but he did better than most "editors" around here, so I'll give him an 8.5/10.
I do agree with you in the sense that this is totally improper. The fact is that there were a ton of 'made up' words and vocabulary in this paper. It's not the most mainstream paper that I've edited but I didn't have any of my own 'normal' papers left that are written in plain English.
I'm done with school!! Never again!! Yahoo!! *delete* *delete* *delete*. In a few minutes I got rid of years of work. In hindsight I should have kept the papers I wrote.
What it comes down to is the fact that I don't change anything on your paper. I say:
femaleness Should be femininity, womanliness, ladylike etc. From there it's up to the writer if they actually change it. The fact is that femaleness is the word they wanted to use because I was a word the professor taught in the class.
http://www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/femalenessJust an FYI: I added this paper because they actually received a 96% on it which was completely unheard of and the professor was so impressed with the paper she gave out th highest mark she had ever given a student. They went to one of the top 3 Universities in Canada so this isn't just some community college either. There are lots of examples in this paper that aren't considered proper English but the fact is that they aren't mistakes and they aren't "...so improper...". If this was a non-fiction novel then you're absolutely right. As a Gender Studies paper this is the kind of writing that's needed to get top marks.
Here's another example of what I would assume you consider improper:
"Characters who exhibit autonomous a self-governing behaviours are considered successfully 'doing masculinity'.
'Doing masculinity' doesn't make any sense to anyone. It was written in a Gender Studies textbook and the words were taken verbatim. If I were to write 'Bitcoin' and 'ASIC' in a paper in 2012 then those words would also be improper. It's all about who you're writing the paper for.
To summarize, I agree with you that it's improper and cringe-worthy for most people to read. If this academic paper was for the general public, then yes we would have had to make changes. This was a paper that literally took weeks to research, write and edit. (Note: I did NOT write it). I'm great at editing but not as great at taking a lot of ideas and placing them into 'the perfect paper'.
Thank you very much for your review. I appreciate t 8.5 out of 10 but I really did want to explain that in depth. Don't worry, things like that didn't go unnoticed. In the end it's about what the client wants. I can't force anyone to take my recommendations. Feel free to ask anyone who has used my service about their experience. It's a discussion, not just me making changes. Bandot has used my services 3x so far and there have been many times where he's decided to stick to his original wording or grammar. In the end if the client is happy, then I'm happy. Thanks again for the kind words.
