i installed it did everything i even shutdown my antivirus and firewall (because i read that it might cause problems)
where did you read that?
before doing anything make sure that you have downloaded electum from its legit website nowhere else. it is here: https://electrum.org/#downloadyour antivirus should not interfere with electrum at all (if it is the right electrum and not a fake one).
and as for your firewall you should only let electrum access internet by adding it to its list. google how to... with your firewall's name you find how to do that.
but still when i open my wallet it says not connected
any help will be appreciated (please explain like for a nooob)
thanks
as OmegaStarScream suggested click on the circle (which should be red if you are not connected) and check the checkbox for "finding server automatically" (i don't remember the exact checkbox's name)
you might want to close electrum and open it again it should find a good server automatically.