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Author Topic: (Announcing) LMB LLC - Diamond manufacture (We are better than MDM LLC!)  (Read 1100 times)
Nachtwind
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January 17, 2013, 01:37:24 AM
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Our company is currently working on a sophisticated way of creating diamonds by water pressure. Our, lets say, competitioners (MDM LLC) is just trying to dig a 600km deep hole to fill with carbon and water to create diamonds - we take this a step further!

Press release:
Quote
LMB LLC Announces next generation diamond manufacture

(NOP) January 17, 2013
LMB LLC, market leader in carbondiaxide to diamond generation, is unveiling today the technical specifications for its next generation manufacture process:

1) Digging a lake of 150km x 150km size to store the water neccessary to produce diamonds
2) Using Heavy water instead of water

"LMB LLC has always considered itself a serious manufacturer in the diamond manufacture industry and our customers are leaders in buying first grade diamonds of all sizes.", noted Nacht W., LMB CEO, " We see the DiamondLake project as the natural next step in continuing to meet our customer's needs."

Because our first and second generation graphite and diamonds are expected to be degrading into mere coal very quickly by the huge demand for fossil fuel customers have a high demand for new and supreme sources for highest grade products.

Venture Capital Funding Aquired, Record Rate of First Quarter Growth

LMB LLC, the largest market provider of grade A carbon-related crystaline structures is now backed by private venture capital and looking forward to continuing its operations in what some have recently labeled the "Carbon Prairie" of the mediterranean.

Retail sales have continued to grow strongly, and with expnential month-to-month sales increases, the decision to back LMB was made easy. Founded in 2013, LMB LLC is a worldide leader in carbon-related crystaline manufacture. The company offers a range of products and consulting services in crystal design.

LMB LLC is a trademark of LMB LLC in Europe and or other countries.


Our current manufacture hardware:

The rig to pump carbon into our water heavy-water reservoir:



Our diamond farming equipment. Please note that diamonds are normally larger than the size of the aperture of those tools:


Last but not least a shot of our upcoming water-reservoir-surveiling-and-controlling unit (in short WC):


We currently aim at a price of just $599 per carat. Please submit your preorders to

14Asrg7roXxxCYD45Z78Y1LxhWoYVwHtcf

We expect to ship the first products in 4 to 6 weeks.
It will only be possible to get a refund for your Preorder if we delay the product shipment for 12 years.

Nacht W.
CEO LMB LLC
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Kluge
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January 17, 2013, 01:55:46 AM
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You guys are so far behind the curve.... What you really need to do.... is create an underwater tornado!

http://abc.go.com/shows/shark-tank/episode-detail/episode-308/950320?page=3

Don't mix your coins someone said isn't legal
Al the Alpaca
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I Love the wew!


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January 17, 2013, 04:36:39 AM
 #3

Our company is currently working on a sophisticated way of creating diamonds by water pressure. Our, lets say, competitioners (MDM LLC) is just trying to dig a 600km deep hole to fill with carbon and water to create diamonds - we take this a step further!

Press release:
Quote
LMB LLC Announces next generation diamond manufacture

(NOP) January 17, 2013
LMB LLC, market leader in carbondiaxide to diamond generation, is unveiling today the technical specifications for its next generation manufacture process:

1) Digging a lake of 150km x 150km size to store the water neccessary to produce diamonds
2) Using Heavy water instead of water

"LMB LLC has always considered itself a serious manufacturer in the diamond manufacture industry and our customers are leaders in buying first grade diamonds of all sizes.", noted Nacht W., LMB CEO, " We see the DiamondLake project as the natural next step in continuing to meet our customer's needs."

Because our first and second generation graphite and diamonds are expected to be degrading into mere coal very quickly by the huge demand for fossil fuel customers have a high demand for new and supreme sources for highest grade products.

Venture Capital Funding Aquired, Record Rate of First Quarter Growth

LMB LLC, the largest market provider of grade A carbon-related crystaline structures is now backed by private venture capital and looking forward to continuing its operations in what some have recently labeled the "Carbon Prairie" of the mediterranean.

Retail sales have continued to grow strongly, and with expnential month-to-month sales increases, the decision to back LMB was made easy. Founded in 2013, LMB LLC is a worldide leader in carbon-related crystaline manufacture. The company offers a range of products and consulting services in crystal design.

LMB LLC is a trademark of LMB LLC in Europe and or other countries.


Our current manufacture hardware:

The rig to pump carbon into our water heavy-water reservoir:



Our diamond farming equipment. Please note that diamonds are normally larger than the size of the aperture of those tools:


Last but not least a shot of our upcoming water-reservoir-surveiling-and-controlling unit (in short WC):


We currently aim at a price of just $599 per carat. Please submit your preorders to

14Asrg7roXxxCYD45Z78Y1LxhWoYVwHtcf

We expect to ship the first products in 4 to 6 weeks.
It will only be possible to get a refund for your Preorder if we delay the product shipment for 12 years.

Nacht W.
CEO LMB LLC

Quoted, before your fuck ass decides to change anything while I'll tear you a new one.

Heavy-water, eh? We, at MDM, at first thought of using the same, till we realized that it would create radioactive diamonds. I bet you didn't see that coming, did you shit-for-brains? Read for yourselves, everybody: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tritiated_water



Note the image of the Heavy-water molecule. Looks almost like Nacht's brain--two fried white brain cells connected to his cousin Helda's blood clotted tampon. Here's a quarter. Go buy yourself another burnt out cell, then come back and try again.



http://blockchain.info/address/14Asrg7roXxxCYD45Z78Y1LxhWoYVwHtcf

Looks like business is booming.  Grin Grin Grin

MDM_Al

I, too, love the wew
Nachtwind
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January 17, 2013, 08:34:05 AM
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Heavy-water, eh? We, at MDM, at first thought of using the same, till we realized that it would create radioactive diamonds. I bet you didn't see that coming, did you shit-for-brains? Read for yourselves, everybody: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tritiated_water


Oh we are fully aware of that side effect. It allows us to be the only manufacturer to sell glowing-in-the-dark diamonds.
Also due to this rather new development we have had second thoughts about how we will ship the preorders.. we wil split them to half-life-times:
1/2 /1/4 1/16...
Phinnaeus Gage
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January 17, 2013, 01:35:32 PM
 #5


Heavy-water, eh? We, at MDM, at first thought of using the same, till we realized that it would create radioactive diamonds. I bet you didn't see that coming, did you shit-for-brains? Read for yourselves, everybody: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tritiated_water


Oh we are fully aware of that side effect. It allows us to be the only manufacturer to sell glowing-in-the-dark diamonds.
Also due to this rather new development we have had second thoughts about how we will ship the preorders.. we wil split them to half-life-times:
1/2 /1/4 1/16...

Keep staring at your blinking glow-in-the-dark diamonds, and soon your epilepsy will kick in. Perhaps, that's why you have so many cancellations.

Half-live-shipping-times, eh! Is that the best you can do with your two brain cells. Our PR guy was kind enough to give you a quarter to purchase another cell. What you'll do with the money?

Here's are shipping plan:

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January 17, 2013, 01:43:58 PM
 #6

Um, is there any chance of ordering some coal? (For delivery this winter? )

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Phinnaeus Gage
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January 17, 2013, 01:45:44 PM
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Um, is there any chance of ordering some coal? (For delivery this winter? )

Yes! If you don't mind glow-in-the-dark coal from LMB (let's mine blinkies).
Nachtwind
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January 17, 2013, 08:52:13 PM
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Um, is there any chance of ordering some coal? (For delivery this winter? )

Yes! If you don't mind glow-in-the-dark coal from LMB (let's mine blinkies).

Nuclear-powered-coal. Yet another fine prodcut from us for our best consumers. Whilst our competitioners are only shipping low end diamonds we sell coal and shining diamonds that will even fuel your flux compensator!

Oh and Phinnaeus, i like your idea of basing the pre-order-delivery scheme on Mandelbrot... so we will randomly ship amounts to our buyers. thats fine.
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January 17, 2013, 11:47:32 PM
 #9

Um, is there any chance of ordering some coal? (For delivery this winter? )

Yes! If you don't mind glow-in-the-dark coal from LMB (let's mine blinkies).

Nuclear-powered-coal. Yet another fine prodcut from us for our best consumers. Whilst our competitioners are only shipping low end diamonds we sell coal and shining diamonds that will even fuel your flux compensator!

Oh and Phinnaeus, i like your idea of basing the pre-order-delivery scheme on Mandelbrot... so we will randomly ship amounts to our buyers. thats fine.

And that is why trade secrets shouldn't be let outta da bag. Phinn never should'a mention the Mandelbrot shipping plan. If another occurrence of this magnitude transpires, I'm selling my pre-order spot on the fifth row of Pascal's triangle.

Full Disclosure: I invested in two 1", two 4", and one 6" diamonds.

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