Please. Under any circumstances, do not ever hit your children.

[TheGr33k]

 


So, I've been kind of thinking about the future and what I'm going to do with my life at this point. I really want to start a family, but I'm hoping to adopt now that I finally have the financial stability to do so. I know it'll be better than just bringing another child into the world when I could just save one that's already here, and help many others from the adoption fee. I've been pretty depressed the last couple of days, which is strange to a lot of people around me since something very remarkable and exciting just happened to me. It doesn't matter since I'm still young and trying to figure out my life.


Just recently, I started thinking about what kind of parent I wanna be to my children...I thought about how some parents beat their kids and even try killing them. I just don't ever want to feel like a person my children can't run to if they feel scared, because they'd be scared of me as well. I want my kids to feel like they can confide in me, and let me know everything that's happening to them. My fiancé use to talk about how her mother use to beat her. How...she use to grab a belt out and literally whip her so hard that she had bloody welts and it honestly made me cry. I don't ever want to turn into a parent like that.

[SebastianJu]

I like your thoughts and yes... it can severely hurt the psyche of a person being hit or being in fear of the parents.

The other extreme is when children rule over the parents.

I think the best attempt is to go at it as treating them like normal persons, explain them alot, explain them, most importantly why they shouldn't do certain things and not simply forbid it. And teach them all kind of things. Don't let them shut in with video games or tv, restrict the time. The same goes for sweets and such. I know that sounds hard but at the end it brings more health and a more clear mind the child will use for other things.

Adopting a kid might bring other things, like they having a bad childhood and they could wear all kind of problems. I'm not sure how easy it would be to deal with such a child then. Though as long as your fiancee is ok with adopting and she is not the kind of person that only says yes even when she would prefer other ways then it is a way you might go...

[RealBitcoin]

I dont have kids, but sure i agree with the OP.

Violence is very bad, people need to be less violent!

[galdur]

Well, people live in a society that worships violence. It´s everywhere, on TV, in the movies, video games etc. Not to mention the warmongering business. It´s an indoctrination of violence.

[Lethn]

This has been debated to death and many psychiatrists or psychologists will tell you that hitting children is a bad idea, I'm glad to see you've actually thought about it because parents are never people that children should fear, I do feel that the ones who try and justify this kind of behaviour are sociopaths who just want to control their children through fear and quite often they'll even admit it to your face.

[SebastianJu]

This has been debated to death and many psychiatrists or psychologists will tell you that hitting children is a bad idea, I'm glad to see you've actually thought about it because parents are never people that children should fear, I do feel that the ones who try and justify this kind of behaviour are sociopaths who just want to control their children through fear and quite often they'll even admit it to your face.

Nope... you don't know that some hardcore christians believe on the word from the bible "Whoever loves his child will beat him." As in... "If you want a good future for your kid you have to lead him the right way."

There are people that believe in such old rules and of course they might feel pain by doing so but it's the word of god... it's a good thing... you know?

[criptix]

education people.
education fights pretty much everything.

[BADecker]

Not only whack your kids every day, but tackle them too. Then they will go off to college, already used to the idea of becoming great football stars. And of course, if you whacked and tackled them out of love, they will share their football millions with you.

[Slowturtleinc]

Have watched a lot of new parenting styles coming out of that vein of not hitting your children and some kids turn out fine others have their parents wrapped around their fingers and you can see it will stay that way till death.

Sometimes the threat of violence is needed to control the irrational emotion of a 2 year old banging the door with their feet with a tamtrum. Since I decided not to have kids I really do not reflect to much on how I would parent as I know the kids would have troubles that care not to pass on to another generation.

[goostatic74829]

Have watched a lot of new parenting styles coming out of that vein of not hitting your children and some kids turn out fine others have their parents wrapped around their fingers and you can see it will stay that way till death.

Sometimes the threat of violence is needed to control the irrational emotion of a 2 year old banging the door with their feet with a tamtrum. Since I decided not to have kids I really do not reflect to much on how I would parent as I know the kids would have troubles that care not to pass on to another generation.

Threat of violence??? Wow, umm no, you just distract them at that age.. They can act up if tired or hungry man, not because they want to make your life miserable..

[Daisy14]

In Africa, beating is a common form of discipline. But it is uncommon to see parents beat their children till blood comes out, usually they just give them a slap in the back or some strokes for being naughty.


It surprises me when I hear that in the western world there are those who beat their wards till blood comes out somewhere.

[ThirstyMoon]

Any form of limitation during a child's young age might have consequences in the future. Remember physical pain might be costly for a kid in the short or long term, but emotional trauma is irreversible.

That's why every person who wants to start a family needs to have a thorough understanding of the human psyche.

[SebastianJu]

It surprises me when I hear that in the western world there are those who beat their wards till blood comes out somewhere.

I think you will find such a...holes everyhwere in the world. It might only need a drinking parent and a child might suffer because someone does not solve his problems and goes the wrong way.

Let's hope that such things become less and less over time and people watch over the childs of other parents a bit too.

[davis196]

Never hit and never abuse your children.
When they grow up,they will abuse you....

[TheGr33k]

Never hit and never abuse your children.
When they grow up,they will abuse you....

Yeah, that just leads me to my next point. A friend of mine actually said this same exact thing.