[WTS] Tinfoil Hats - Different Designs - Limited Time: Free Dowsing Rod

[Akka]

Fellow Bitcoiners.

We are happy to announce that the Ethereal Protection Agency GmbH&Co KG now offers its Protective hats for Bitcoin.

Our range of Products covers all needs for the trendy conspiracy theorist.

You want to protect you mind from the government and want to wear a stylish hat at the same time?

Then our Products are exactly what you need.

You want to go classy while being save from mind reading beams?

Our model "Top-hat" fits your needs:



Or want to enjoy the middle age market, but you are afraid from CIA Agents? Wear our model "Knight":



You like to relax at the beach, but can't leave your house due to satellites spying on you? Our model "strand hat" will help you:



For the casual nutjob we have our models "Texas" and "Baseball":





Our product range covers all kind of hats you may need:



Due to the fragility of our products we are sorry that we are unable to ship them in assembled form.

But for only 0.5 BTC (excluding shipping) we will ship you all the materials you need to build the hat of your choice:



Order now and receive a Dowsing Rod (unbent) for free:

[🏰 TradeFortress 🏰]

Do you sell tinfoil hats for pets by any chance? My dog is in need of protection against MKULTRA!!!

[Anon136]

omg, now i can stop the cia from reading my brain waves AND look cool at the same time!

[stevegee58]

How about a tin foil Guy Fawkes mask?

[Akka]

Do you sell tinfoil hats for pets by any chance? My dog is in need of protection against MKULTRA!!!

Of course! Our company follows a strict non speciesism policy. Therefore we try hard to offer protective hats for all earthlings (and beyond). But due to low demand we are currently only able to offer hats for cats, dogs and mutant space rats.

[organofcorti]

The foil will cost far too much in shipping for me. I am however quite interested in the topological shenanigans that make the tinfoil beach hat possible and will pay 0.5 btc for the plan for that hat without the additional foil.

[Tomatocage]

Seems like a scam. The hats are clearly aluminum. If they are in fact tin i am intetested.

Beat me to it

[Akka]

Seems like a scam. The hats are clearly aluminum. If they are in fact tin i am intetested.

Our R&D department was working hard to develop a hat that delvers improved protective capabilities to tin by increasing the comfort of wearing them at the same time.

We can insure you that our hats will serve all you mind protective needs.

During the research to deliver optimized protective hats our product name hasn't changed. We are sorry if this has led to confusion.

For slightly increased costs we are still able to supply you with materials to manufacture a 1900 model of our hats.

[Akka]

I have tested this. Aluminum just is not effective.

Personal opinion may differ, but extensive Tests in our Lab have clearly proven that Aluminium increases protective abilities, by reducing weight at the same time, compared to Tin.

[stevegee58]

I have tested this. Aluminum just is not effective.

Personal opinion might differ, but extensive Tests in our Lab have clearly proven that Aluminium increases protective abilities, by reducing weight at the same time, compared to Tin.

Is that your new ion deposition process?

[Akka]

How about a tin foil Guy Fawkes mask?

We are sorry, but in order for our products to deliver sufficient protection, it is necessary that they fully cover your Parietal lobe.

Therefore we are unable to deliver masks.

Rest assured that our R&D is working on a solution for that problem and we believe we are close to a breakthrough that may change the world of Tinfoil hats.

[mobodick]

How much for the propeller cap?...

[Akka]

How much for the propeller cap?...

Like described, all materials needed are shipped for only 0.5 BTC.

Including the free Dowsing Rod (unbent).

[OrangeVonPurple]

Best. Thread. EVAR!

[Tirapon]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ADE_651

Just saw this on the news, if you throw one in with the hat and the dowsing rod, you got yourself a deal (Seriously though, there's a company selling these things)

[velacreations]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ADE_651

Just saw this on the news, if you throw one in with the hat and the dowsing rod, you got yourself a deal (Seriously though, there's a company selling these things)

I've actually see these in use.  I always wondered what the hell they were doing...

[Akka]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ADE_651

Just saw this on the news, if you throw one in with the hat and the dowsing rod, you got yourself a deal (Seriously though, there's a company selling these things)

Thanks, due to the detailed description of mechanics of this device:

The ADE 651 consists of a swivelling antenna mounted via a hinge to a plastic handgrip. It requires no battery or other power source, its manufacturer stating that it is powered solely by the user's static electricity. To use the device, the operator must walk for a few moments to "charge" it before holding it at right angles to the body. After a substance-specific "programmed substance detection card" is inserted, the device is supposed to swivel in the user's hand to point its antenna in the direction of the target substance.

We are very positive, that we can modify our existing dowsing rods to add all the functionalities of this device.

Our research department is nearly finished with the development, but thanks to the now increased sensibility of our dowsing rods we have encountered some new challenges.

I don't want to bore you with technical details, but now they are oversensitive to cosmic gravity rays, wich causes them to malfunction at full moon.

As soon as we have resolved this challenges we will ship our new ADE_3000 Dowsing rod at no additional cost.

We also plan to make a trade in program for owners of our old dowsing rod.

Here a picture of our current prototypes:

[organofcorti]

.......
Here a picture of our current prototypes:

I'm not sure how I feel about you offering sex toys here.

[Akka]

.......
Here a picture of our current prototypes:

I'm not sure how I feel about you offering sex toys here.

No, that are umn.. a multi functional dowsing rods.

Where dowsing meets fun.

[Aztec]

This thread is the funniest thing I've seen in ages 

I know a few people I'd like to send the link to