Dating and pick up counseling -donationware-

[bitsalame]

Hello guys, I am a psychologist in training and I would like to offer my knowledge, insight and experience with understanding women.
I am also pretty knowledgeable with almost all schools of pickup artists, I deeply understand their shortcomings and strengths. Most of them don't offer anything new since they are all copies of existing theories, so I can filter out all the crap for you so you don't waste time.
I also have my own method, a ultrasimplified one which I am developing to be much more pragmatic to what you may have read so far.

The general public consulting here on this thread will be free, actually, it will be donation-ware. If you guys find my responses worthwhile, please leave a "token" of appreciation
If you have specific questions that may not be shared in public, I will charge differently depending on the type of work or coaching may be required.

I've experimented with different kind of women from different cultures in the world: European, Korean, Argentinian, Colombian, American, and so on, thanks to a friend working in travel agencies and airlines, I traveled basically for free.
My mission is to allow people who are introverted to achieve their full potential, because the problem that these guys have is the social awkwardness which IS NOT a synonym of introversion. Most people treat introversion as a undesirable trait that needs to be fixed.
That's a fallacy, and it is plainly wrong. Introversion is perfectly normal, and the best part is, you can still seduce woman being an introvert.
The problem is being shy, and that is fixable.

I hope this becomes a fruitful experience for everyone.
-bit

PS: For those skeptics who are sharpening their tongue preparing to attack me personally, why don't you try me with genuine questions first and see if my advices work out for you? Evidence based attack are always more powerful than those based on conjectures, if you want to destroy me, try me first. If I am full of shit, it will be an easy win for you guys

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[thepwnorbpwnd]

[tkbx]

Make it two

[tkbx]

[Mike Christ]

I dunno...  I'm the very definition of introvert, and even I've had good experiences with picking up ladies   I mean, they've all hit on me first, but that's beside the point.  The general rule of thumb when trying to get dates is this:  Be honest, and treat the one you've got your eye on like they're people.  Works every time.

[jasinlee]

Try this:

Hi! My name is (Douchebag), what is your name? (Wait for her to answer dont be a douche, if she gives you her name then continue) I find you attractive and outgoing with a beautiful smile and I would like to get to know you and if you are interested, here is my number (give piece of paper to her dont be a douche).

[bitsalame]

Hah, I love that xkcd strip, first time seeing it.
First of all I want to address the dehumanizing aspect of pick-up artists: yup, I agree to that to some point.
It is dehumanizing if you are actively exploiting it to manipulate women. If picking up women becomes a sport, there is something definitely wrong. There is a very fine line of between being a playboy and being a psychopath, which I might expand later if anyone is interested.

Now regarding to what the "female" character says in that strip, that's precisely the focus of my philosophy. It is about changing who you are, and self-improvement is something absolutely doable. If rats can be taught to ride skateboards, I believe it is very depressing to think that humans don't have the ability to improve our skills. And social skills are still a skill, and it is learnable.
This isn't about techniques, methods and systems. Those prepackaged stuff are bound to fail, whats more, I suspect that they are designed to fail.

The main capital sin of the pick-up artist literature is that they treat women as one homogeneous group, so if you put in practice X method they promise it will work.
The second problem is that some are encouraging denial and self-deception: if it fails, don't waste time on her you will find another one, so don't get attached anyway.
So most of them encourage you to become this big asshole who will end up attracting easy girls who are really easy to get laid with, others implicitly try to train you to get sophisticated bimbos with daddy issues. Most methods unwittingly are designed with a particular type of girl in mind. What these so called "pickup artists" ignore is that every girl belongs to a particular type of subculture and these experts who were successful with these type of girls, inadvertently they force you to become like them and join their subculture, which you may not belong.

I consider that you must achieve your full potential according to who you are as a person, as yourself, otherwise you will end up lying to yourself and end up hurting your potential significant other.
In short, don't follow methods blindly without a self-examination of who you are, acknowledge the limitations that you have, and envision what you want to become. That's the essential first step to actual self-improvement, and the first step to develop your own methods.

Now responding to the users:

I dunno...  I'm the very definition of introvert, and even I've had good experiences with picking up ladies  I mean, they've all hit on me first, but that's beside the point.  The general rule of thumb when trying to get dates is this:  Be honest, and treat the one you've got your eye on like they're people.  Works every time.

If girls hit on you first, probably you are good looking or at least above average.
What is really important though, is your self-confidence. If someone lacks self-confidence, it doesn't matter how you treat women, they will not feel attracted to you and you'll be considered a friend, not a lover or a partner.
In any case, if you don't have problems with your love life, good for you.
But that rule of thumb is not applicable to everyone, especially to those who lack basic social skills and experience with the opposite sex.

Try this:

Hi! My name is (Douchebag), what is your name? (Wait for her to answer dont be a douche, if she gives you her name then continue) I find you attractive and outgoing with a beautiful smile and I would like to get to know you and if you are interested, here is my number (give piece of paper to her dont be a douche).

That is a very good direct approach. I encourage this a lot.
Although it may sound counter-intuitive, women find this very bold and they get very flattered. She might reject you, but she will not forget you... but this style must be congruent with your personality.

Now before finishing this post, I would like to make a comment regarding to "negs". I hate that term because it misleads people.
It is not about being an asshole, it is about teasing playfully. That's the safest way of throwing a girl from her pedestal, and at the same time being safe of not offending her. You may use dry negs afterwards, if you know what you are doing, but don't abuse it and never repeat a neg.

[instaBoost]

hey op are you making money? you have some serious insight bro... /end joke

[bitsalame]

hey op are you making money? you have some serious insight bro... /end joke

I've helped thousands of people in real life, men and women to improve their love life and find their significant other.
Try me, come back later if you have a real question.

[MPOE-PR]

I would be interested in learning more about this thx.

[bitsalame]

I would be interested in learning more about this thx.

If it is a general inquiry, please share it with us. If it is private issue, send me a pm.

[FreedomCoin]

trolls gonna troll

[tkbx]

(insert bullshit here)

Now before finishing this post, I would like to make a comment regarding to "negs". I hate that term because it misleads people.
It is not about being an asshole, it is about teasing playfully. That's the safest way of throwing a girl from her pedestal, and at the same time being safe of not offending her. You may use dry negs afterwards, if you know what you are doing, but don't abuse it and never repeat a neg.

This is exactly what they're talking about. You're not talking about how to get someone to like you, you're talking about how to go fishing, catch a fish, rape it in the mouth, and throw it back. It's not "teasing playfully" if your main goal is to reduce their self confidence so they'll settle for you.

[LoweryCBS]

[debianlinux]

Step 1: Make a lot of money

Step 2: Grow a large penis

Step 3: Show her the results of Steps 1 and 2.

If you want shallow you can have it.

[bitsalame]

(insert bullshit here)

Now before finishing this post, I would like to make a comment regarding to "negs". I hate that term because it misleads people.
It is not about being an asshole, it is about teasing playfully. That's the safest way of throwing a girl from her pedestal, and at the same time being safe of not offending her. You may use dry negs afterwards, if you know what you are doing, but don't abuse it and never repeat a neg.

This is exactly what they're talking about. You're not talking about how to get someone to like you, you're talking about how to go fishing, catch a fish, rape it in the mouth, and throw it back. It's not "teasing playfully" if your main goal is to reduce their self confidence so they'll settle for you.

"main goal is to reduce their self confidence", nope, that's not the main goal.
Thinking it that way, I agree, it is very negative and those are the jerks who pursue control and manipulation.
It is a big red flag, indeed.

The actual goal is not to make her feel insecure, it is about creating a shortcut to the feeling of closeness, confidence and intimacy.
It is counter-intuitive, but think about it for a minute. There is a saying that says: a good friend will say you did good, but your best friend will tell you that you sucked.

Looking for control is bad for your soul, but looking for playfulness is good. It is more about being playful, rather than a jerk.
From the outside the techniques might look similar, but it is the intention and the delivery what really makes the difference.

[tkbx]

(insert bullshit here)

Now before finishing this post, I would like to make a comment regarding to "negs". I hate that term because it misleads people.
It is not about being an asshole, it is about teasing playfully. That's the safest way of throwing a girl from her pedestal, and at the same time being safe of not offending her. You may use dry negs afterwards, if you know what you are doing, but don't abuse it and never repeat a neg.

This is exactly what they're talking about. You're not talking about how to get someone to like you, you're talking about how to go fishing, catch a fish, rape it in the mouth, and throw it back. It's not "teasing playfully" if your main goal is to reduce their self confidence so they'll settle for you.

"main goal is to reduce their self confidence", nope, that's not the main goal.
Thinking it that way, I agree, it is very negative and those are the jerks who pursue control and manipulation.
It is a big red flag, indeed.

The actual goal is not to make her feel insecure, it is about creating a shortcut to the feeling of closeness, confidence and intimacy.
It is counter-intuitive, but think about it for a minute. There is a saying that says: a good friend will say you did good, but your best friend will tell you that you sucked.

Looking for control is bad for your soul, but looking for playfulness is good. It is more about being playful, rather than a jerk.
From the outside the techniques might look similar, but it is the intention and the delivery what really makes the difference.

Negging isn't "playfullness", it's sole purpose is to reduce self confidence. Flirting is the "shortcut" you're talking about, because it shows interest.

[bitsalame]

(insert bullshit here)

Now before finishing this post, I would like to make a comment regarding to "negs". I hate that term because it misleads people.
It is not about being an asshole, it is about teasing playfully. That's the safest way of throwing a girl from her pedestal, and at the same time being safe of not offending her. You may use dry negs afterwards, if you know what you are doing, but don't abuse it and never repeat a neg.

This is exactly what they're talking about. You're not talking about how to get someone to like you, you're talking about how to go fishing, catch a fish, rape it in the mouth, and throw it back. It's not "teasing playfully" if your main goal is to reduce their self confidence so they'll settle for you.

"main goal is to reduce their self confidence", nope, that's not the main goal.
Thinking it that way, I agree, it is very negative and those are the jerks who pursue control and manipulation.
It is a big red flag, indeed.

The actual goal is not to make her feel insecure, it is about creating a shortcut to the feeling of closeness, confidence and intimacy.
It is counter-intuitive, but think about it for a minute. There is a saying that says: a good friend will say you did good, but your best friend will tell you that you sucked.

Looking for control is bad for your soul, but looking for playfulness is good. It is more about being playful, rather than a jerk.
From the outside the techniques might look similar, but it is the intention and the delivery what really makes the difference.

Negging isn't "playfullness", it's sole purpose is to reduce self confidence. Flirting is the "shortcut" you're talking about, because it shows interest.

I am telling you that using negging with that mindset is counterproductive, especially for newbies.
Teasing is negging in disguise and it is the smooth way of executing it.
In any case I am against the concept of negging as reducing self confidence, but as a way of inducing banter.

The proper definition would be that negging is to increase her self-awareness, but the moment you touch their self-esteem you are done for the night.
If you go in with the mentality of reducing confidence, you'll end up offending your targets.
Please refrain from regurgitating the Mystery Method crap.

[tkbx]

(insert bullshit here)

Now before finishing this post, I would like to make a comment regarding to "negs". I hate that term because it misleads people.
It is not about being an asshole, it is about teasing playfully. That's the safest way of throwing a girl from her pedestal, and at the same time being safe of not offending her. You may use dry negs afterwards, if you know what you are doing, but don't abuse it and never repeat a neg.

This is exactly what they're talking about. You're not talking about how to get someone to like you, you're talking about how to go fishing, catch a fish, rape it in the mouth, and throw it back. It's not "teasing playfully" if your main goal is to reduce their self confidence so they'll settle for you.

"main goal is to reduce their self confidence", nope, that's not the main goal.
Thinking it that way, I agree, it is very negative and those are the jerks who pursue control and manipulation.
It is a big red flag, indeed.

The actual goal is not to make her feel insecure, it is about creating a shortcut to the feeling of closeness, confidence and intimacy.
It is counter-intuitive, but think about it for a minute. There is a saying that says: a good friend will say you did good, but your best friend will tell you that you sucked.

Looking for control is bad for your soul, but looking for playfulness is good. It is more about being playful, rather than a jerk.
From the outside the techniques might look similar, but it is the intention and the delivery what really makes the difference.

Negging isn't "playfullness", it's sole purpose is to reduce self confidence. Flirting is the "shortcut" you're talking about, because it shows interest.

I am telling you that using negging with that mindset is counterproductive, especially for newbies.
Teasing is negging in disguise and it is the smooth way of executing it.
In any case I am against the concept of negging as reducing self confidence, but as a way of inducing banter.

The proper definition would be that negging is to increase her self-awareness, but the moment you touch their self-esteem you are done for the night.
If you go in with the mentality of reducing confidence, you'll end up offending your targets.
Please refrain from regurgitating the Mystery Method crap.

It's teasing when they know you're joking, it's being a douchebag when you tell someone that "it's great they're finally going on a diet"

[mccorvic]

The responses to this "pick-up counselor" has restored my faith in humanity just bit.