Could someone please give me some love?
Dude I thought you hated steemit.... now ur a regular user, becoming a whale and asking for votes? lololol what happened to steemit = pyramid scheme?
well people at first see that it is possible to make some easy money with it so they think it is a scam, and then later they try to jump into the train
What is wrong with getting paid for analyzing every facet of Steem I need to analyze to determine with more certainty its future and thus my future w.r.t. to it. It is analysis I would need to do anyway. By doing it with a community spirit, I get paid, I share with them, and so someone can use the information to for example improve Steem or make a better competitor, which ever turns out being the free market result.
At the same time, I have to also make sure I have enough cash to survive so I can continue to work full-time on this stuff. Before Steem I was reduced to about 4-5 months of cash remaining. Now with Steem's help, I am back up to 8-9 months of cash reserves (including the expenses for my gf + her sister to go back to university this Oct).
I have many stress on me from many different angles (health cliff, financial cliff, career end cliff, etc). I am trying to navigate these. I had no really good plan B options (although some might develop soon). There is no family in the USA that will help me. I am on my own. I refuse to take handouts from the government or go on Obamacare. I'll die here instead of do that. I have my ethics. I have no place to live if I don't have money. No one will offer me a place to live (well @rpietila did in his castle in Estonia but that just seemed too weird and I don't function well in very cold climates, I get very depressed)
Do not assume I have 100% joined Steem(it). I am not sure yet my decision, but I will tell you that I have an awesome name for a competitor and it isn't Cooprate.com.
At the same time, I need to be realistic. If the open source momentum has entirely shifted to Steem(it) and I don't have any earthshattering secret advantages, then it may be suicidal to try to compete. But if I think Steem is going to fail and I determine that working within their structure provides no opportunity to make it succeed, then it makes sense to go compete.
I am still evaluating and my mind is spinning because I am also battling this illness at the same time. I am having some good energy now unlike last year. I am very upbeat but I've got to produce and pronto, so I can't always slow down to explain...
Btw, just want you all to know **it is Friday**. I was just informed that **it isn't Tuesday**. In my mind, Sunday was just 2 or 3 days ago.
I haven't had time to look at the clock at the lower right side of my computer. Sometimes I resist going to urinate because don't have time for that either. I can't remember when I last showered.
This has been a crazy period ever since I joined Steem(it) I think perhaps I've averaged only 4 - 5 hours sleep per day and something like 120 hours of work per week.
I do manage to get my daily 2.5 km run in. And the run is getting consistently better. So I am upbeat, but I still have light-headedness and other ups and downs of the physical condition. But it is nothing like totally debilitating like last year. It is just a struggle sometimes to want to be at full blast and being at maybe 60 - 80% (like a slight headache, body might feel weak, stomach and feet may be inflamed). It is progressing. It is just daily battle. I am not a hypochondriac. I am very tough guy. This shit is real. I battle it hard! Basically assume I am recovering from Multiple Sclerosis. How many people accomplish that! You don't know how depressing it is to every day have my body do some fucking weird thing that I can't stop. You have no idea what it is like to be sick every day of your life. But as I said, it is getting better. I am upbeat.
Any way, I don't need empathy. I shouldn't responded. The only thing that matters now is production from me. Period. I need my own body to perform. I need my will power and discipline.
